Fantasies
by DopeyPixie
Summary: Andy and Lu get too close for Milo's comfort. (F/M, F/F, M/F/M, F/F/M.) Will be updated today, 27/4
1. The Foreplay

**—The Foreplay—**

* * *

Andy's POV.

* * *

''Do you have any fantasies?'' I hear Milo ask. I'm still panting, my body slick with sweat.

''Huh?'' I ask as I lift my head. He's sitting up against the headboard, watching me closely. My heart is still beating rapidly and I can feel his cum dripping down my inner thigh.  
''Fantasies. Sexual fantasies,'' he clears up. ''Something that you'd like to do, or have me do.''

I shrug. Milo and I are both very opinionated people and clash often enough, but between the sheets we've always been on the same page, determined to keep things from getting bland. ''Not really,'' I tell him. ''Do you?''

''None at all?''  
''When I want to try something new it usually comes up one way or another,'' I tell him. I squint at him, growing more curious, ''what is it you want to try?''

He seems to ignore my questions. ''How about when you're by yourself?'' He slides down so we're face to face. He grabs a tissue from his nightstand and hands it to me. ''What do you fantasize about then?''

''You,'' I tell him. I can see a small grin appear on his face. ''The way you feel, and smell, and move.'' He seems pleased by this answer. ''The way you taste.'' I lick my lips, ''the sounds you make.'' Without thinking about it my hand makes its way over to his dick, still half hard from two minutes ago.

''How about other people?'' He asks me as he pulls me closer.  
''Other people? Like who?''  
''Whomever.''

He leans in to kiss me, but at the last second I pull away, leaving him wanting more. ''Do you?'' I ask him. ''Think about other people when you're…'' I softly stroke his dick and a groan falls from his lips.  
''I think about you,'' he tells me.

''Just me?''  
''You.'' He says, looking me deep in the eyes. ''And…''  
I pull my hand away, this is getting interesting. ''Who?''  
He lets out a chuckle and shakes his head. ''Do you really want to know?''

''I told you mine.''  
He looks down at my lips. ''Fair is fair, I suppose.''  
I look at him, doubting if I do want to know. ''Someone I know?'' He opens his mouth to answer and I can't wait to find out, but he doesn't say anything else. ''Me, and?''

''Lots of people,'' he tells me, trying to sound more casual about this than I know he actually is.  
''Lots of different women?'' I ask him. His sexual history might be a bit more extensive than mine but I don't know the actual number.  
''Lots of different people,'' Milo says. My eyebrows shoot up. ''You. You with lots of different people.''

I frown at him. ''What do you mean?''  
''Exactly what it sounds like.''  
''What you want is me,'' I take a deep breath, ''being… intimate with different people.''

He gives me a look, ''it's a fantasy, I'm not telling you to cheat on me.''  
I take a few seconds to let it sink, ''so with whom?''  
''Different people. Mostly just people I meet at work,'' he says, staring off to the other side of the room.

''So you meet a new patient, and you think of me and them-''  
''Sure,'' he says and I don't know what to say. ''Co-workers. People I meet outside of work. Basically anyone who isn't family.''

''That sounds like a lot of work,'' I tell him and he laughs. ''So if I just mention any co-worker you've probably thought of them and me…''  
''Well, yeah. I mean, some more than others but in essence yes,'' he says.

''Who would you say is the most..?'' I ask and sit up. The headboard is cool against my back and it's just what I needed to bring me down from my high even further, which is just what I need because there is no way I'm understanding him correctly.

He looks at me with hesitation, ''do you really want to know that?''  
I give him a look that just says 'duh'. ''Yes. Come on, spill it Morton.''  
''Okay, just remember you asked for it.'' He sits up as well. I patiently wait for him to give names but he seems hesitant. I give him a gentle push and he looks over at me. ''Okay, so… Lu-''

''Delgado?'' I ask him, slightly in shock.  
''Yes,'' he looks at me like he's surprised by my shock. ''Haven't you ever wondered what she looks like naked?'' He asks me and I give him a look.  
''That's not exactly what's first on my mind,'' I tell him. I can't believe I have to work with her in the morning knowing how Milo thinks of her.

Milo can read my face like a book. ''It's not so much about the other person and what they look like. It's more just how you feel about them and what you'd do with them, and they with you.'' He tells me. ''After Tookie,'' his ex-wife, ''and I split up because of her cheating, and you and I started dating, I couldn't help but wonder who might do it for you.''

I look down for a second, unsure of what to say. ''No one,'' I tell him earnestly. ''I love you and I'm not going to leave you for another man, or Delgado.''  
''I love you too,'' he says. ''And it's not that I think you'd actually run off with this people, it just harmless wondering and over time the thoughts got a bit… steamier.''

I chuckle and smile at him. ''So who else? Maybe someone I don't have to work with in the morning?'' He gives me a quick glance and then looks away, seemingly embarrassed. ''What? Who?''

He gives a slight shrug and hesitates to speak, ''Les.'' He eventually croaks out.  
''Les? As in my ex-husband?'' I ask him.  
''What? I can't help but wonder.''  
''About?.. Our sex life?''

''Just what he was like for you. If he was better at getting you off, what you liked about what he did in bed. How often you two had sex, in what positions… Everything really.''

I look at him and am speechless. It had never even occurred to me that Milo might think about these things, it had certainly never occurred to me to think about what Milo and Tookie's sex life was like. The thought that he imagines me being with other people is strange to me, just the thought of him being with another woman and I can feel a pang of jealousy in my belly.

I bite my lip, ''so, is this something that you actually want to…''  
He puts his arms around me, ''Andy, they're fantasies. Trust me; the last thing I want is to watch you get it on with you ex-husband.''

I look at him, ''and Delgado?'' I know hers is the only other name he has given and I'm afraid to mention anyone else.  
''I much rather you focus on me,'' he says. He pulls me a bit closer and our lips finally connect again. His open mouth hungrily inviting me in as he rolls us over so that he's on top of me. He was unusually hesitant during our conversation and now he takes the opportunity to once again show me how much he loves taking control.

He starts kissing my neck but I grab his face and kiss him again. One of my hands lands on his ass and pulls him closer to me. I can feel his dick against my core, almost sliding in before he pulls away. I groan in protest and I can hear him chuckle. ''Be patient,'' he says as he pins my arms down. He starts kissing my neck and moves down to my breasts. I can feel his mouth close over one and his hand on the other, flicking the nipple.

My moans only seem to encourage him to be rougher, his beard scratching my skin. His other hand moves down to my side and as soon as my arms are free again I use my hands to push his head down, closer and closer to where I most want him.

He gives it one lick and then looks up at me with my juices on his lips and chin. He gives me a small grin, ''be patient,'' he repeats, ''or I'll just drag it out longer and longer.'' His hands are on my breasts, his lips on my inner thighs, sucking at the skin. He's constantly moving closer to my clit but every time I think he's finally going to give me what I want he pulls away a bit again. Each time he completely ignores it I can't help but squirm a bit. It feels good but it's not what I want.

He rolls my nipples between his thumbs and index finger and my back arches. One of his hands moves down to my lower stomach, holding my hips down. I can feel his hot breath and then his lips are on my clit. I shiver and his grip tightens. He's kissing as softly as he can while still somewhat making contact. I try to move my hips towards him and he pulls away.

I let out a cry and we make eye contact. ''Do you want me to stop?'' He asks me and I shake my head. He squints his eyes at me, knowing how impatient I can be once we get down to business. His face disappears and I can feel him kissing my inner thighs. I groan at his seemingly never ending amount of patience. His hand has moved down a bit and his thumb is so close to my clit…

I have trouble forming complete trains of thought. My legs are trembling a bit and I couldn't take a deep breath if my life depended on it. I try to say something to get him to touch me, for his thumb to move just half an inch, but when I open my mouth all that comes out is a few whimpers.

I try to pull him towards me with my legs, and I can hear him laugh into the sheets below me. ''I can make this last all night,'' he says as he looks at me. I know he can. He has. Many times. I look at him with hooded eyes. I need some kind of friction. My hand moves down and before I even realize I'm doing it he has already slapped it away.

He looks at me and shakes his head. I can tell that his torturing amuses him. I close my eyes and lay back; I'm squirming under him trying to get him to do something, anything. He does. Before I can process any part of him moving I feel his tongue flicking my clit and I just about jump off the bed. His head gets clamped between my thighs as some kind of noise escapes my lips.

His tongue makes his way inside of me and if he wasn't holding me down my hips would've come up to meet him halfway. I manage to roll my hips just the slightest bit against him and it feels even better than expected, a few moans escape from my mouth. I wait for him to scold me but nothing. One of his hands starts the attack on my breasts again, my nipples now even more sensitive than before, his lips sucking on my clit.

His grip on my hips loosens a bit and I start to rock against his tongue. His hand moves up a bit and guides my rhythm to be in sync with him. We rock together for what seems like forever as I can feel my orgasm build inside of me. I want to tell Milo to be rougher, to suck harder, to pinch my nipples harder, but only a few incoherent words come out.

My toes curl and my eyes shut close. And then Milo's words come back to my brain, what would it feel like to have Lu do this? And I fall over the edge. My brain is mush. My entire body is shaking as Milo continues lapping at my clit, wanting me to ride this wave as long as possible. My moans are coming one after the other, they turn into whimpers when Milo sucks harder on my clit and I buck against him.

After what feels like forever I start to come down. My legs no longer keeping Milo in place he stretches his torso over me and our lips meet in an open-mouth kiss. I can taste myself on his lips. I can feel his beard scratch my chin and his hands all over me. He nudges my thighs apart and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I can feel him line himself up against my opening. It's dripping with wetness and every nerve in my body seems to be standing on high alert, every part of my body to sensitive for touch. Part of me wants to push Milo away; I need a moment to gather myself. Milo and I make eye contact and I'm sure I must be a sight, with my mouth hanging open and sweat everywhere.

His lips connect to mine and I can feel him slip inside.


	2. The Main Act

**—The Main Act—**

* * *

Lu's POV.

* * *

''What are you talking about?'' I ask Andy as I sit down across from her. It's not unusual for her to be vague enough that it takes me a while to catch on.  
''Fantasies.'' She says and I squint. ''Yeah, exactly.''

I shake my head, ''what kind of fantasies are we talking about?'' I ask her. I can tell she's picking her words carefully and I know only one subject that she's been this hesitant to talk about with me. ''Sexual fantasies?'' She nods. ''Whose?''

I can see her want to say Milo but she backs out. ''Guys' fantasies.'' I nod, encouraging her to go on. ''There's just something that…'' I can see that she doesn't know how to tell me.  
I cock my head, ''what's Morton's fantasy and how weird is it?'' I ask her.

''He fantasizes about me with other people,'' she says, finally getting it out.  
I think about it for a second, ''I don't think that is that weird,'' I tell her honestly.  
''You don't get it, he fantasizes about me with anybody and everybody,'' she says. My eyes widen a bit, ''yeah. Basically anyone he meets…''

''You've been getting busy,'' I say as I lean back in the chair. ''So… what do you want me to tell you?''  
''I don't know,'' she admits. ''I just… every time I see someone I think of what Milo must be thinking about when he meets them.''

''Over-active imagination.'' I lick my lips, ''when you say anybody and everybody, do you really mean…''  
''Yes.'' She leans in a bit closer, ''even Les and I.''

I make a face at her. ''Yeah that is a little weird.'' I stare at her for a second, ''but do you also mean like…'' I don't want to say it and she frowns at me, ''you and I?'' I ask her, pointing back and forth between the two of us.

She nods. I sit there speechless for a second when the door swings open. Speak of the devil. Milo's standing there. His coat on, briefcase in hand. ''Dr. Delgado,'' he nods at me. ''Are you ready to go?'' He asks, looking over at Andy.

We both stand up and she nods at him with a smile. I see Milo go for the coat hanger behind her desk and as he does I put a hand on her arm and slightly spin her away from him. She looks at me confused as I slowly push her backwards, until she hits the desk behind her. For a split second I look at Milo-who is still oblivious- and then back at Andy, and I can see it slowly start to click.

''Lu-'' she begins to question quietly before I connect my lip to hers.

Let's see how he feels about his fantasies when they actually come true. Her lips feel soft against mine and I can feel her start to relax just a bit. I can feel the goose bumps on her arm and her sweet perfume fills my nose.

I can't remember when I've had such an intense first kiss with someone. Her eyes flutter close after a few seconds and without thinking about it I follow suit, melting into the kiss.

I take a deep breath as I break away, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. I glance over at Milo who is standing in the corner, holding Andy's coat in his hand, wordlessly watching us. He's always been difficult to read.

For a second I hesitate, he doesn't look the least bit impressed. I want to push his buttons, up the ante until he realizes this isn't what he wanted. But I don't want to give Andy more than she bargained for, although really she didn't bargain for anything at all.

Holding eye contact with Milo I lean back in for another kiss. I part my lips a little bit and softly drag my tongue across her lips, seeking entrance, my eyes close as I take it all in. I can hear a soft, small moan coming from Andy as we kiss more deeply. I can taste her minty breath as our tongues entangle, it takes just seconds before it feels like we're trying to swallow each other whole.

I move my body closer to hers until every piece of her is touching every piece of me. I can feel her hand land on my arm and slowly move its way up, finally cupping the side of my face. My hand on her hip starts to move up as well and I look over at Milo, holding eye contact with him as I cup her breast. The thin lace means I can feel everything, and I can feel the hard peak against my hand. I can see Milo swallow, and feel a moment of pride knowing that I got to him.

I can feel Andy's hand make its way into my hair, and though it's hard to think I know that I can take this further. Continue this until Andy tells me to stop, until I know that Milo will lie awake thinking about this for a long time to come.

I break away from the kiss for half a second, just enough to get Andy to open her eyes. Her dark eyes stare back at mine as I put one leg between hers, my pussy connecting with her thigh. I know she can feel the heat, the wetness. I bring my hands to the front of her button-up shirt and start to undo them.

I don't want to push her too far, and I know her boundaries most likely aren't as extreme as mine. I haven't kissed- or done much of anything else- with a woman before, but I know I am most likely more comfortable with my sexuality than she is.

I only open half the buttons before I grow too impatient and tear the upper half open, somehow only one button seems to fly off to the other side of the room. I'm surprised, but glad, that she isn't wearing a shirt underneath. No undershirt and no pantyhose means that this is probably as skimpy as I'll ever see her dressed. But I don't want it to be.

The thought surprises me and for a second I wonder when this became about feeling up Andy and not solely about antagonizing Milo.

I close the gap between us and connect my lips to hers again, feeling a knot in my stomach that wasn't there before. My hands independently seem to decide to push Andy's shirt further down. Her shoulders are exposed and her shirt is hanging down on her upper arms. But that's not what I'm interested in. My hands find their way back to her breasts and I make sure Milo is looking at us, seeing what I am doing, when I roll one nipple between my fingers.

His eyes seem to grow a bit bigger, no doubt completely unintentionally. Andy moans into my mouth and her hand on my hip seems to want to pull me closer, even though we're as close together as two human beings could possibly be.

We're nipping at each other's lips as I bring my leg up a bit, making sure it's resting against her core. I move one of my hands down and start to guide her. Her hips are rolling and I can feel the lace of her panties against my bare leg. I can feel her try to pull me closer to try to create more friction. I grab the hem of her skirt to move it up but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

Her soft moans grow a little louder as I start to move as well, against her thigh. One hand in her shirt on her back, the other on her hip and it isn't long before we find a rhythm. Her hand lands on my cheek and our kiss deepens. ''Ssh,'' I quietly shush her to make sure she keeps it down. The clinic is mostly empty but there's no reason to attract unwanted attention. Milo has the only ticket to the show.

Andy doesn't listen to me as she moves faster against my leg, seeming to lose the rhythm and I realize that without realizing it I've let this go a lot further than I had ever intended. I pull her as close to me as I can as her entire body starts shuddering. A load moan unwillingly escapes her lips and I push her into the desk to make sure that something is keeping her up. I can feel her leg twitch against me and though it feels good all I can think about is what I have done.

My hips stop grinding. I pull away from her a bit and bring my hands up, pushing her hair away from her face. Her pupils are large, her cheeks flushed, her mouth slightly open. She looks at me and I try to think of something to say.

I hear some rustling and look over at Milo, his briefcase held in front of him to no doubt hide his erection. I look back at Andy who is completely focused on me. Her hand lands on my ass as she pulls me in closer, moving her leg to try to create some friction. She puts her other hand on my cheek, forcing me to look away from Milo and focus solely on her.

This whole time I thought I was the one messing with Milo, completely in control over the situation. But now I am not so sure. Andy brings her hand up, grazing my breast before pushing my hair away and kissing my neck. The combination of her soft lips below my ear, her thigh against my core, her body underneath my hands… I can't help but let a moan escape.

This was never the intention. I was supposed to make Andy come undone in front of Milo. This was supposed to be about her. The tables have turned and I don't know how I let that happen. My head is against hers as she continues to nibble on my ear; it took her no time at all to find the most sensitive spots on my body. I slowly knead her breasts and hold eye contact with Milo.

I can see that he is conflicted between being aroused, being upset that I am as good as pleasuring his girlfriend as he is, and plainly at a loss for words. I grab the hem of Andy's skirt again, pushing it up as much as possible. I make sure to have it unequivocally clear what it is I am doing as I put my hand between her legs. I rub the lace against her, knowing how sensitive she probably is, and then push her panties to the side. I can hear some soft moans coming from her and Milo's jaw tenses up, but it almost feels like he's daring me to go on. To push the boundaries and see how far I can take this.

He doesn't know where Andy's boundaries are, just like I don't. I touch her slit so softly I barely make any connection. I can feel her clit and softly circle it once. I can feel a shudder go through her body. She stops her attack on my neck and I know without seeing it that her eyes just rolled back. ''More,'' I can feel her whimper in my ear.

I circle it again before slipping one finger in. She's hotter, wetter, and tighter than I expected. I slowly start to move my finger in and out, moving my finger in exploration until I find her g-spot. I know I've found it when I can feel her entire body tense, her nails digging into my side.

Where before it felt like Milo and the whole world completely disappeared, now I can't help but focus as much on him as I do on Andy. Her hot breath on my neck, the nails in my side mixing pleasure with pain, as well as the way she touches my ass in a way that somehow feels more pleasurable than I would have ever imagined possible, I moan softly and I can see by the ever so slight change on Milo's face that he's not happy.

It's one thing for me to take Andy by surprise and make her lose control until she comes undone in my arms, he never expected for her to make me moan as well. He was okay with Andy being the one receiving it but to know that she is as eager to please me as I am her, he didn't see it coming and I make a failed attempt at hiding a small smirk.

Andy and I had a rocking start to our friendship but over time we've grown closer than I had expected. It wasn't until after I had made her come that I realized how much I enjoyed having that power over her, knowing that if I wanted I could make her feel so good she forget her own name even. I had been happy when she started dating Milo, pushed her to go outside her comfort zone and be with him.

The morning after they had had sex for the first time I was proud of her for it, knowing that after 20 years with the same guy it couldn't have been easy for her. I had asked her how great it had been until she had looked away with a blush on her face.

I was happy for her, truly. But now all I wanted was to know that her next orgasm would be caused by me. Not Milo, not Les, not even Andy herself, not anyone but me.

Without warning I shove another finger in and I can hear a small shriek. Her legs tense up for a second, wanting to close, but I push them aside, keeping my leg between them. I give her half a second to adjust before adding another finger. I know I'm pushing her faster than I should. Her nails dig deeper into my arms and I know that I've had the desired effect. My fingers have found her g-spot and I started making a come-hither motion. I know you're not supposed to be the most gentle with this but I'm a lot rougher than I could have been, surprising even myself.

My hips have been grinding her leg this whole time, but only barely, wanting to focus more on her. From her breathing I can tell that she's getting close again. Something between a moan and a whimper escapes her lips and I can't say for certain that she's not in pain. That she hasn't grown too sensitive under my touch.

I grab her by the back of the head, my fingers lacing in her hair, and move her face to mine. Our lips connect again and it's sloppier than before. Between the moaning, whimpering, trying to breath, it looks more like we're attacking each other with our lips than actually kissing. I bite down on her bottom lip as I pump my fingers in and out of her cunt.

I break away from her lips. Her forehead is resting beneath my head and I can feel her hot, quick breathing against my chest. I bring my lips to her ear, ''do you want to come?'' I ask her, just barely loud enough for Milo to hear.  
Her moans grow a bit louder and I look at Milo to make sure he's hearing every single one of them.

''Do you want me to make you come?'' I ask her. I can feel her nod against my shoulder. ''I want you to tell Milo,'' I say. I know I'm taking this too far. She tenses up against me for a second, like she had forgotten Milo was here until this very moment. My thumb finds its way to her clit and softly starts rubbing around it, and that's all it takes for her to come back to me. ''I want you to say it.''

''I want you,'' she puts a surprising emphasis on the word 'you', ''to make me come.'' Her head is buried in the crook of my neck and I can feel the sweat running down.  
''I want to hear you beg for it.'' Milo's eyes seem as fixated on mine as mine are on his.  
''Lu,'' I can hear Andy whimper in my ear.

''Beg for it.''  
''Please.''  
It's as soft as can be without being completely silent. ''Louder.'' I say.  
''Please... Lu... Make me...''

My thumb is circling her clit faster and faster as my other fingers work on her g-spot and I know I've found a good rhythm when she's grinding her core against my hand. I feel like I'm losing control. My hand is getting tired but it seems to be on auto-pilot, doing the only thing it was ever meant to do. I no longer have control over how my hips move erratically against her thigh.

I can feel the heat grow in my lower belly and I can tell Andy is close as well. Her back arches, and so does mine. Our bodies moving in sync, being as close as we can be. Her sweaty skin melting together with my top. And then I can feel her falling, her entire body is tensed up and her head falls back as moan after moan fall from her lips. Seconds later I follow suit. Falling over the edge. My mind blanking and my entire body tensing up before trembling against hers. My vision goes black and for a moment I can only hear white noise. Our moans are melting together, and I can feel her hands holding onto my body not wanting to let go.

She collapses against me, her face burying itself in my neck. It takes her longer to come down than me, and as soon as I feel I can somewhat control myself again I pump my fingers inside her a few more times, circle her clit a few more times. Making sure to drag it all out as long as possible. One of her legs jolts up, her entire body having aftershocks.

I don't want to let go. I keep my fingers inside her, my face buried in her neck like hers is in mine, my arm around her keeping her close to me. I try to take a few deep breaths but don't dare look at Milo. I know he's watching us but I don't care.

Andy is the one to break away. She sits up on the desk and for the first time in what seems like forever our bodies aren't firmly pressed together. I remove my hand and immediately miss the heat. I miss the wetness, knowing that I was the one to make her that wet. I wipe it on my shirt and see that I drew some blood. Maybe that third finger was pushing it.

It seems to take forever before I feel I can look at her. She's sweaty, her hair matted against her face a bit. I can see dried up tears on her cheeks and know that just like the blood had told me I hurt her. Her pink button up is barely even on anymore, her skirt around her waist. Her panties have moved back into place and there's some blood on them. There's a trail of slickness on her thigh.

She doesn't meet my eyes, doesn't look at Milo either. She doesn't even attempt to put herself back together, she just sits there and tries to take it all in. Her breathing is somewhat shallow and she still looks a bit shaky. I want to apologize, or really just say anything at all. I want for Milo to not be here. I want to be able to take her in my arms but know that he would never let me. It's one thing to be fucking his girlfriend right in front of him, but being loving towards her would push him over the edge.

Finally, Andy seems to move. Her shirt is back over her shoulders, her skirt is being adjusted downward and I regret not having another touch. Just savoring the feel of her soft skin for a second longer. I grab the sides of her shirt and move to button it.

''I've got it,'' she tells me as she turns away from me, walking to the other side of the desk. She pushes her hair back behind her ears and wipes her face in a futile attempt to remove any trace of what just happened. Her shirt is buttoned back up and Milo holds up her coat for her. As she slides her arms in she makes eye contact with me for the briefest moment. She wraps her coat warm around her, as if she's suddenly cold.

We all stand in silence for what seems like an eternity. ''We should go,'' she says to Milo quietly.

Before I know it I'm alone, standing in her dark office that still smells of her juices mixed with mine. I sit down in one of the chairs opposite her desk as my legs suddenly feel weak. The reality of what just happened is sinking in and I feel at a loss of… everything. I don't know what to say, think, or do.

Jonas is waiting for me at home, and I know that I should go home and pretend that none of this ever happened. Pretend that Andy and I weren't ourselves just know. But we were. It may have happened before either of us had time to process it but it was her and I doing that. It was Andy and Lu, fucking like there was no tomorrow with Milo watching.


	3. The Climax

**—The Climax—**

* * *

Andy's POV.

* * *

I look over at Milo, feeling incredibly small in his Benz. He hasn't looked at me, hasn't said a word. One arm stretched out in front of him on the steering wheel, his jaw still clenched, his eyes fixed in front of him. The first thing I notice is that we are taking a different route to his place than usual; the second thing I notice is that we are not going to his house at all.

I try to push my skirt down a little bit more, knowing that the trail of wetness Lu left behind there is just a reminder for him of what happened. And for me. ''Milo?'' I ask quietly. He doesn't respond. ''We should talk about what happened.''

It's like he doesn't hear me. My mind is racing. I messed it all up. Things have been going great between us until this point until I talked to Lu and it all imploded. ''I shouldn't have done that.'' I say to Milo, watching him closely to see if there's any reaction. I can't believe how caught up I got into what was happening. It's easy to dismiss it as Lu coming on to me, that I didn't have any part in it. But I wanted Lu to continue. I wanted her to come; I wanted _her_ to make _me_ come.

We're riding up a dirt road that I haven't ever been on before and I have no idea where we're heading. I start to feel sick to my stomach. I know Milo loves me, I know he would never hurt me, but I know the gravity of what has happened and I know he isn't himself now.

''Milo?'' I can't believe how small I sound. ''Milo, you're scaring me.''

Finally he looks back at me, looking at me a moment longer than he probably should have whilst driving up the narrow road. He seems to know exactly what he is doing as he pulls into an unpaved parking lot at the top of the hill we just ascended. It overlooks the city and despite its beauty it's completely deserted aside from us.

He shuts off the car and looks at me, still quiet. ''Where are we?'' I ask. He doesn't answer and unlike before I can now also see his hurt on his face, aside from just the anger. ''Milo, I…'' I'm choosing my words carefully, hand on my heart. ''I didn't mean to-''

''Take off your shoes.'' He says, taking his eyes of me.  
I frown at him, sure I misheard him. ''Wha-''  
''Take of your shoes,'' he repeats. This time it's much more firmly, and I can tell by the look on his face he's not messing around.

For a moment I sit there stunned, I have no idea what's happening but there's not really anything else I can do. Keeping my eyes on him I kick off both my shoes. ''Socks too.'' I frown slightly but he's not looking at me. I do what he asks me and we both sit there in silence.

He seems to make up his mind about something as I watch him intently. ''Skirt.'' It's curt as can be. It takes a bit of maneuvering to unzip my skirt whilst sitting but I manage to take it off, never taking my eyes off of him. At last he returns my gaze.

I swallow hard and take in his silence. I know that he's upset and not in his right mind, and it's time for me to take control. As he watches me I slowly drag my blood-stained panties down my legs and throw them into the backseat. My coat is next and I fling it aside, knowing it would just get in the way.

I reach over to him and put my hand on his pecks, slowly moving down until I reach his zipper. I can see him take a deep breath but move my hand away, touching his inner thighs instead. He moves his hips towards me. I take my hand away and he holds eye contact with me. The look on his face never changes. ''Sit still.'' I tell him as my hand floats above his lap.

He doesn't answer. He doesn't have to. He knows I'm not messing around. My hand softly strokes the area, something ''accidentally'' grazing his dick. I can see him grow harder, straining against his slacks. Finally I grab the zipper, making sure to move it down as slowly as I possibly can. I can hear a soft groan coming from Milo. I move my thumb over the tip before grabbing the hem of his boxer shorts and moving it down, finally releasing his erection.

His eyes are black as can be, and I've never seen him this hard before. I start to work on his dick, making sure to do it softly as I can, wanting to drag out the torture as long as possible. I know it isn't what he wants but ultimately he'll be grateful.

I finally break eye contact when I lean down and take him in my mouth. I've never done this in a car before and it takes a bit of effort to find my balance as I move my tongue up and down his shaft. There's more groaning and his hand makes his way into my hair, wanting me to move. My hand and tongue work in tandem, agonizingly slow as I make my way down. His dick hits the back of my throat and I can feel his hand trying to move my head back up. Instead I swallow it.

I haven't heard him release such a long groan before but his hand relaxes. My hand cups his balls as I move my head up and down. It isn't often that I've performed oral on him; he's usually much keener on going down on me and then switching to the main act. It makes me want to work all the harder to make sure he'll never forget this.

I can feel the tightness in his balls and I pick up the speed a bit. ''Feels so good,'' I can hear him murmur and internally I smile. My saliva is running down his dick as I start to move faster, it becomes sloppier and better. I can feel something twitch in my stomach, and remember why I've never minded giving a blowjob. ''I'm gonna come.'' Milo tells me, his hand in my hair trying to move me away.

Wordlessly I protest, continuing what I've been doing. ''Andy, I'm-'' I put my left hand on his stomach, hoping that he'll catch on. I can feel the hot spurts hitting the back of my throat and in two swallows it's all down. I sit back, one of my hands on his thigh as I use the other to wipe my mouth. He looks at me with hooded eyes. ''That was…''

I smile at him. I lean over at him and our lips connect. It feels different than Lu, and I chastise myself for thinking of her. My hand lands on his peck and I massage it slightly, flicking his nipple knowing how sensitive it always becomes after orgasm. He groans into my mouth. My hand moves down, eventually landing on his half hard dick again. His refractory period has never been long and I know that when I touch the right spot he's ready to go again. My lips move to his ear, down his neck, his shoulder.

His mouth is hanging open a bit, completely relaxed, watching me work on his body. When I let go of his dick he protests. I shush him as I swing my leg over his', sitting down on his knees with my legs resting on the side of his legs, grateful for the wide seats. I put my arms around his neck, one hand running through his hair as the other one strokes his shoulder and moves down. I take advantage of his open mouth and kiss him deeply.

I can feel him become hard again in my hand and softly pump it before moving my entrance over it. He grabs my hips and our eyes meet. As I help line us up he slowly lowers me onto himself. His groan and my moan mix together. As we kiss again he rips open my shirt, not nearly as gentle with the object as Delgado had been. I can feel the buttons hitting the windows and take off the rest of my garment.

Milo has his slacks unbuttoned and his boxers down, but is otherwise fully dressed. I suddenly feel very naked in my lace bra. I can feel Milo twitch inside me as I sit still, relishing in how good he feels inside of me. His hands make work of my bra and within seconds it's off. He takes one of my nipples in his mouth and I moan.

I push him back in the seat and capture his lips in a kiss as I start moving up and down. I clench myself around him a few times and I can see by his reaction how good it feels. ''I'm sorry,'' I tell him.

''Feels so good,'' he says, his head back as he's enjoying the sensations.  
''I'm sorry about what happened with Delgado,'' I tell him as I bring my mouth close to his ear. I lean back to look at his reaction. His hands which had been guiding my hips to move just the way he likes, now hold me in place. I can see the anger on his face, feel him twitch inside me once, and see in his eyes that he's growing more aroused.

And that's what this was all about. To please him. Didn't hurt that I got mine twice in the process, but it was about Milo getting his. His hands lift my hips up until I think he's about to flop out of me, when he brings me down harder than I expected.

Despite my vast knowledge of the female anatomy I don't know what spot inside of me he just hit, as both pleasure and pain hit me. I cry and moan. I can feel tears form in my eyes even though it feels good. I start grinding against him.

His hands are on my breasts, kneading them, playing with my nipples and my head falls back as I let out a moan. ''Your boobs are mine,'' he tells me. I try to nod in agreement but I'm quickly losing control over my body. His hand lands on my hip and holds me down, and I whimper at the loss of movement. ''Say it.''

''My boobs,'' I moan as I can feel him throbbing inside me, ''are yours.''  
He slaps his hands on my hips before grabbing hold of me, controlling my movements and slowing me down significantly. ''These hips are mine.'' He tells me.

''They're yours,'' I tell him as I try to get him to let go so I can set my own pace again.

''Your ass,'' he slaps it far harder than I had expected, ''is mine.'' He says through gritted teeth. The feeling of it is like a wave through my body and I almost come undone right there and then. I can't think, I can barely even hear him. ''Say it.'' I open my mouth to say it but all that comes out is a series of moans. He slaps the other cheek even harder and I could have never expected how good it would feel. I can hear a shriek and a series of moans and it takes me embarrassingly long to realize they're mine.

His hand weaves itself in my hair, forcing me to look at him. ''My ass,'' I pant, ''is yours.'' I say it even though I don't want him to stop.

He looks down for a second and I can feel myself getting closer. He brings his hand down and circles my clit with his thumb. I buck away from him. It's too much. ''Your cunt, your clit,'' he emphasizes every word as he forces us to keep eye contact, ''they're mine.''

I try to say it but my breath has gotten stuck in my throat. ''They're yours,'' I tell him at last and he seems happy.  
''You're mine.''  
''I'm yours.''

A twinkle appears in his eyes and he finally seems satisfied. He let goes of my hips completely and I can control the movement myself again. I immediately pick up speed, needing more friction. Milo watches my franticness, looking calm even though I know his orgasm won't be far off. His thumb's rough skin on my clit is getting to be too much.

As I start moaning louder I can feel a hand and I hope it's not Milo to slow me down. My eyes are closed and all I can feel is his hard twitching throbbing dick inside me, the rest of the world disappears completely.

I can feel a red hot burning hand land on my ass and I know it won't be long until I'm nothing but a puddle of what was once Andy Campbell, lying on the floor of a Mercedes Benz. ''You like that?'' I can hear Milo asking but I don't have it in me to answer. The sound of the slap hits me before the heat of it spreads through my body. Every nerve in my body seems to be sending signals of pain and pleasure to my brain where they melt into something that's beyond description.

Milo watches me in fascination and I can feel his cum filling me and I'm so close. Another slap on my ass is all it takes. In this moment I could die happy. In this moment pleasure is flooding my brain and my already red ass with hand shaped bruises forming receives another blow. And I'm done.

All control over myself is gone and I can hear myself screaming and moaning at the same time. Milo slips out off me and even that feeling sends more pleasure to my brain. I can feel myself losing control over parts of my body and even if I wanted to fight it I wouldn't be able to.

It seems like both an eternity and too soon when I start to come down. I bury my face in Milo's neck as I realize what just happened. That's never happened before. Not with Milo, not with anyone.

I can feel Milo's hand on my back as he holds me close to him. ''Did you just… squirt?'' He asks me, somewhat stunned.  
I lean back and sit on his knees; it takes a second before I'm able to make eye contact with him. I can feel redness creeping through my body. ''I'm sorry,'' I say, as I look down at the liquid that's already sinking into the car seat.

It takes a second but then a smile appears on his face, ''it's okay.'' He says. I take a few deep breaths before getting back in the passenger seat. Milo watches me as I put my clothes back on, zipping up his own slacks at the same time.

I sit beside him wordlessly as we drive down to his house. I don't know what to say. Not about what happened with Lu, not about the swallowing, not about the spanking, not about the squirting.

As he pulls up into his driveway I take a deep breath. He gets ready to get out of the car. ''I'm really sorry,'' I tell him. He looks at me, ''about everything. About,'' I motion toward his seat, ''ruining your car seat.''

''It's okay,'' he tells me with a small smile on his face. ''Good luck getting Delgado to get you to do that.''


	4. The Aftermath

**—The Aftermath—**

* * *

Lu's POV

* * *

''We need to talk,'' I say as I follow Andy into the kitchen. Only one day has gone by since... I don't even know how to refer to it, but it's the weekend; I can't wait until Monday to talk about what happened, and with her and Milo coming over tonight to have dinner with Jonas and I, I felt I should talk to her beforehand.

I haven't told Jonas what happened, and despite the many intruding thoughts I've tried not to think about it either.

''About?'' Andy asks me, completely innocently and for a split second I wonder if yesterday even happened.  
''You know what about,'' I say. ''About... us,'' I whisper.

She frowns at me, ''why are you whispering?'' She turns the gas down and starts stirring the tomato soup she's making, although it feels more like she's just doing it to avoid looking at me.  
''I just thought, in case Jesse or Li-''

''They're not home,'' she tells me. She turns the stove off and wipes her hands, ''what's there to talk about? It happened, and... It'll never happen again.'' She tells me.  
I nod. ''I know. I just wanted to make sure that we're okay.'' When she doesn't cut me off I take a deep breath and dare to take a step closer to me. She throws the dishtowel down on the kitchen island and moves to the other side.

She gives a shrug, ''we're okay,'' she says.  
''I don't think we are,'' I say as I once again make my way over to her. When she tries to step away I grab her hand and keep her in place. We both know that she's physically stronger than me and if she wants me to let it go she would've made me, but she doesn't resist.

She faces me. ''It shouldn't have happened,'' she says.  
''Then why did you tell me about what Milo told you?'' I ask her. It's something I've been wondering. At different times she both pushed me away and pulled me closer. It wasn't her idea, but at times it almost seemed like it.

''What haven't I told you?'' She asks me only half jokingly. She pulls her hand away from mine. ''Look, I don't know what I expected would happen. I mean, I can tell you it wasn't _that_ , but...'' She makes her way over to the stove, ''do you want some soup?''

''Andy...'' I drag out her name, she's a master at avoiding topics.  
''Okay,'' she says, knowing that I won't give it a rest. ''Why did you do it?'' I stare at her for a few seconds, thinking about it. ''Why'd you kiss me? Why did you...'' Make you beg me to make you come? I finish the sentence in my head.

I swallow hard, now's not the time to replay last night in my head. ''I don't know,'' I tell her honestly. ''After what you told me I wanted to get a rise out of Milo, and the whole thing just got carried away. I never meant to let it go that far.'' She nods. ''Speaking of Milo...'' I've heard some stories through the grapevine about his ex-wife cheating on him, and despite how turned on he looked yesterday I can't help but wonder how he reacted afterwards.

She looks for the right words for a second. ''We worked it out,'' she tells me rather vaguely.  
I smile at her as a small blush spreads across her cheeks, ''tell me,'' I urge her.  
She gives me the same look she always gives me, ''Delgado!''

''No reason to be coy now, we've basically already had sex,'' I say as I sit down on one of the barstools.

Her face turns to shock as Milo walks in through the laundry room door into the kitchen. I hadn't even heard him come down the stairs. ''Good morning,'' he gives Andy a peck on the check, as her eyes remain focused on mine, before glancing over at me, ''Delgado.'' He gives me a slight smile.

We've never been particularly close and I had expected him to be even colder after yesterday, but his warmness now makes me feel even more conflicted.

''I hope I'm not interrupting anything,'' he says as he sits down at the kitchen table, observing us.  
''You're not.'' Andy fills a bowl and puts it down in front of him. ''We were talking about tonight,'' she tells him and I know it shouldn't surprise me how easily she lies but it does. She puts a bowl down in front of me as well and I can tell she doesn't really care if I eat.

She seems colder now and I don't know if it's because I described what happened as having sex, or if it's because Milo walked in. I turn around and see the puzzled look on his face, ''dinner? Tonight? Over at Jonas and I's house?'' I ask him, hoping it rings a bell.

He gives me a nod as it comes back to him, ''how did Jonas respond?'' He asks me. When I don't answer he frowns, ''you did tell him, didn't you?''

I didn't. After Andy and Milo left the clinic last night I stayed late to catch up on paperwork and avoid Jonas as much as possible. When I finally got home I slept on the couch, pretending that I had fallen asleep there whilst doing some work. He had barely said a word this morning before I left, knowing Andy would be up early and wanting to talk to her about what happened.

''I thought...'' I look back and forth between them, hoping against hope that what I say will sound somewhat convincing, ''that it would be best if I didn't tell him.''  
Andy looks at me and I can tell she's annoyed, ''Lu...''

I bite my lip, ''I mean, the only reason Milo even knows is because he happened to be there.'' Before the words are all out I already know it didn't come out the right way.  
Milo sits up a little straighter, ''you mean to say that that would still have happened if I hadn't been there?''

''No.'' Andy cuts in before I can say something. She knows I've got a big mouth. She finally fills a bowl for herself. ''The only reason it happened was because...'' she doesn't know how to finish that sentence, and I know it's because I don't know the reason either.

''It was a private... show,'' fingers crossed Andy won't take offense with that word like she does with every other word I've used today, ''just for you.'' I tell Milo.  
He chuckles slightly and Andy and I share a look. ''If you wanted it to be private you should have closed the blinds,'' Milo says, breaks off a piece of bread and eats it, watching our reactions.

I watch Andy's eyes close in disbelief, ''please tell me you are kidding.'' The way she is glaring at Milo makes me want to disappear, but he's calmly eating.  
''At least half the cleaning crew walked by,'' he says and I bury my face in my hands, ''at least one or two caught a glimpse.'' He doesn't sound upset at all and it surprises me. Maybe this is the payback he wanted for what we did.

My mind is racing. The whole hospital is basically one big gossip network, you tell a secret to the wrong person and in no time everybody will know. Andy sits down opposite Milo, trying to appear calm and collected. ''What do we do?'' She asks nobody in particular. Milo and I look at each other.

* * *

I pull my hair out of my ponytail as I open the front door. I know their smiles are fake, but seeing Andy and Milo stand on the other side makes me feel a little calmer. I left Andy's house in the early afternoon and ever since I've been avoiding Jonas, I know I have to tell him but I don't know how.

I can hear Jonas' footsteps in the kitchen coming towards us. As Andy takes off her coat she gets a bit closer to me and her warmness and the scent of her perfume bring me right back to yesterday. ''How did it go?'' She asks me quietly.  
I give her a smile as I take her coat, ''I didn't tell him,'' I tell her through gritted teeth.

The look that flashes across her face is exactly what I expected, but she puts on a smile, ''Jonas.'' She greets him and they peck each other on the cheek. ''We brought wine,'' she says, handing it to him.  
''Thanks, it'll go great with the steak,'' he says as he looks over at me, I know he feels the awkwardness.

We make pleasantries as we sit down for drinks and then dinner. I can't look Andy and Milo in the eye and they're relatively quiet. It's mostly Jonas trying to make conversation; I can tell he's running out of topics when he brings up the stock market. I look up at him, silently asking him to stop. He looks back at me, lost. ''What do you want me to say?'' He asks me, exasperatedly looking at me through his thick eyelashes.

''Calm down, it's not like they meant it to go that far,'' Milo tells me as he takes a swig of his wine, and in that moment I realize he and Andy haven't been alone together for even half a second, he doesn't know Jonas doesn't know.

Jonas looks at him confused before looking back at Andy and then me, ''what is he talking about?'' He asks and I dare to look over at Andy, who still won't meet my eye. ''Did you two have a fight?''  
Andy's eyes dart across the room, ''not exactly,'' she says under her breath before, just like Milo, focusing on her drink instead.

''What?'' Jonas asks her, he looks back and forth between Andy and Milo for a few seconds before turning in his seat, ''Luisa?''  
''Okay,'' I take deep breath, ''yesterday-''

''Lu...'' Andy gives me a look.  
''Yesterday,'' I repeat, tuning her out. ''Something happened,'' I say slowly. Jonas is patiently waiting for me to continue. ''Andy and I... kissed.'' I tell him, not wanting to continue.

He looks stunned for a moment before a look of relief crosses his face, ''okay.'' He says, nodding slightly. ''I mean...'' I can see he's not happy about it but is putting that out of his mind for now. ''The way you've all been awkwardly looking at each other... I expected much worse,'' he says and chuckles, he takes a sip of his wine. ''Is that all?''

I bite my lip, ''no.'' His eyebrows shoot up. ''I mean, it started out as kissing and then...'' I shake my head, I don't want to say it.  
''It went too far?'' Jonas asks, recalling Milo's words. He looks over at Andy, who after a few seconds reluctantly meets his gaze. I can see that her silence confirms his question. ''How far?'' The combination of his pressing the issue and the few glasses of wine I've had makes it all spill out.

I tell him everything, only leaving out the awkward details. The stunned look on his face tells me all I need to know. ''Jonas, it just got out of hand, it'll never happen again.'' I tell him, his hands are in mine by now and we're both ignoring the couple on the other side of the table. ''I'm so sorry.''

Not long after this Andy and Milo decide to leave. It's awkward goodbyes before it's Jonas and I alone together again. I sit down next to Jonas on the couch, ''talk to me.''  
''I'm just flabbergasted. I didn't expect this from you,'' he says, ''or from her.''

''It wasn't her doing.'' I tell him. I'm not actually sure about this, if telling me about Milo's fantasies was her coming on to me or what, but I take full responsibility for what happened.  
''And it'll never happen again?'' Jonas asks me, despite the fact that I've told him that a half a dozen times already tonight.

''Never.''

* * *

''Next patient Lana,'' I ask as I put down my patient's file on the desk. It's Monday. We're back at work. Two seconds into my work day and the hushed whispers and stares were all I needed to confirm my suspicions. Everybody knows. I've been treating patient after patient, skipped lunch, and didn't take as much as a pee break. Andy has been doing the same, and I know it's to avoid people asking questions.

''This might be hard to believe, but we're all out,'' she tells me as she stands up. I look over at the waiting room, my eyelids heavy because of how tired I am. There is no one. No one to distract me, no one to keep people at a polite distance because I'm busy. No one to keep Lana from asking questions.

''I'll go,'' I motion to my office, ''do some paperwork,'' I say. I can feel Lana's arm around my shoulder as she follows me to my office.  
''We've got some talking to do,'' she tells me. I put my hand up. I don't want to think about what happened, I don't want to talk about it. ''Now I know you ain't keeping secrets from Lana,'' she says as I turn around in the doorway, knowing that if she follows me inside the stream of questions will be endless.

''Lana, I don't know what you heard, but,'' I take a deep breath, I'm tired of it, ''it's all true.'' I close the door in her face, feeling bad for shutting my best friend out like that.

* * *

The sound of a loud thump causes my head to lift up, eyes opening. My head is pounding and for a moment I'm disoriented. It's been a long time since I last fell asleep at my desk. Andy's standing on the other side, ''I referred her to Benson in oncology,'' she tells me and I frown at her.

My eyes fall on the patient file that she just dropped on my desk. I had completely forgotten about the consult I asked her for last week. ''Thanks.'' I say and as she walks over to the door as I stand up. ''Andy.''

She pauses, her hand on the door and I can see her contemplate whether to stay or to leave. After what feels like an eternity she turns to me. I can see she's tired as well, but her skin still glows and her lips-

I swallow hard, not allowing my mind to go there. I stand up, walk to the other side of the desk and lean against it. ''I don't want what happened to affect our friendship,'' I tell her. I notice the way she looks at me and it takes me a few seconds to realize that I'm in the exact same position as the one I forced her into last Friday. No, not forced. I have to remind myself that.

She hesitates, ''me neither.'' She takes a few steps towards me, looking uncertain.  
It's not as if we hang on the phone all night talking, or even spend that much time together outside of work, but over the years we have grown a lot closer. What she said on Saturday was true, she does tell me just about everything. I would hate to lose our friendship because of one... mistake.

''Let's just pretend it never happened,'' I tell her, guessing that's what she's most comfortable with.  
She gives a slight smile, ''that's going to be difficult with everybody talking about it,'' she says. ''But sure.'' She looks at me for a little bit, ''so what did Jonas say after we left?''

''He wasn't happy,'' I tell her. She sits down across from me. ''He seems to think that now we can't be alone together without jumping each other's bones.'' She laughs at that. ''I think he needs some time to trust me again.''

She cocks her head to the side, ''I'm sorry.''  
''It's okay, it's my fault after all,'' I say.  
''It's no one's fault,'' she says softly. I don't want to ask her but it somewhat confirms my suspicion that she was the one who really made the first moves. ''Fault implies that...''

''A mistake was made,'' I say. The look on her face makes me frown, ''you don't think it was a mistake?''  
She doesn't answer right away. ''I don't think it was a good idea,'' she says. ''Not that much thought went into it, but still.'' I look at her, unsure of what to say. ''Either way, I'm sorry,'' she says, standing up.

Her coat is hanging over her arm and I realize she's heading home. I feel like much is being left unsaid but maybe it should remain that way. I follow her to the door to my office and we linger there for a few seconds. She looks into my eyes and I look into hers. After a few seconds she clears her throat, ''I should be heading home.''

''Andy?'' I ask and she looks back at me for what I feel like will be the last time. I put my hand on her arm, stopping her from leaving. She licks her lips and I realize my mouth is dry too. Our eyes are locked on each other and I can see how hers are darker than usual. I lean in a bit and when she doesn't push me away our lips meet. Her softness, her warmth, I try to make it last as long as possible but in reality it's just a few seconds. I pull away from her first, our foreheads resting together for a second. ''I'll see you tomorrow.''


	5. The Tension

**—The Tension—**

* * *

Guess who got sick of first person's POV?

* * *

It's been six months since that kiss. Six months and a few days since a somewhat unusual conversation with a colleague had turned into a very unusual situation. And she couldn't pretend it wasn't still on her mind.

The way she tasted, the way she had cornered her against her desk, the way her hands seemed to know exactly where to go- touching all the right spots. The way her fingers had slid inside and had known exactly what to do. The way she had found the exact right amount of dirty talk to take things to the next level.

Not that Andy thought much about it.

It plagued her dreams from time to time. She'd relive that evening in her dreams, the whole thing so realistic she could swear it was real. She'd wake up in a sweat with her hands down her pajama shorts, only to roll over and find Milo sleeping next to her, blissfully unaware. Usually she would wake him up; he never minded a middle of the night roll in the hay.

The fact that what had happened between her and Lu had ended up being almost common knowledge around the hospital certainly didn't help. It had earned them more than a few lewd comments, mostly from Nick it seemed. Other than that she had gotten used to the stares.

It had been worst the first week after it had happened, and after the kiss Lu had planted on her lips on Monday they had had barely any contact at all for a little while. Being alone together only seemed to make it harder to resist anything happening, but their distance had only sparked more rumors.

Staying away from each other seemed to make people think that they had something to hide- not realizing that, unfortunately, they already knew the story from cover to cover. It was a short story, not even worthy of being called a novella. And that was the way it was supposed to remain. They were both very happy in their relationships with Milo and Jonas, and Andy could hardly remember how she had even let anything happen.

Until now.

It had taken a few months to rebuild their relationship. To silently tell each other that anything more than a hug was unacceptable. To be able to once again confide secrets in each other, discuss patients, talk their private lives over, but to avoid any mention of what had happened that cold April evening. But now it was almost like it had never happened in the first place, they were almost back to their pre-coital status quo.

However, sitting across from her now, in the office where it had all begun, Andy could feel the tension. It had started with a discussion about one of their patients, Andy couldn't remember which. It had turned to talk about their private lives, about their respective romantic relationships, and from there to awkwardness.

Sitting across from each other in the small chairs, Andy regretted not remaining behind her desk. Any kind of barrier to make sure they kept their senses.

Her legs were crossed, sometimes being pushed together a bit tighter as she shifted in her seat. ''Let's not do this,'' Andy said, it was barely a sentence but it was a beginning.  
''Do what?'' Lu asked, trying to make herself sound as innocent as possible.

Andy looked away. ''Pretend.''  
''Pretend?''  
''This isn't working,'' Andy said. ''I don't know about you but I can't just sit here and pretend that nothing happened. That you didn't just-''

''Me?'' Lu shot up in her chair, her usually calm demeanor easily made way for outrage, as it often did. ''Let's not forget that you came on to me first.''  
''I did not,'' Andy said, leaning back in her chair.  
''Telling me about your boyfriend's sexual fantasies wasn't a come on?'' Lu asked, her eyebrows high, challenging Andy to deny it.

''It was…'' Andy started, not sure how to finish it. She looked at Lu who looked like she was dying to know the answer. ''It was something I needed to share with someone, it wasn't a come on.'' Lu huffed. ''You made the first move,'' Andy added.

''You broach the subject and then wait to see what my next move is going to be.'' Lu said. ''That way you don't have to take the blame and can say that I started it.''  
''I do not do that,'' Andy said.  
''Maybe not usually, but when it comes to,'' Lu waved her hand back and forth between the two of them, ''it sure seems to be. It feels like that's what you're doing now.''

''I'm not,'' Andy said. She stood up and walked over to the other side of the desk, leaning on her hands she looked at Lu.  
''Whether you do or don't, you certainly don't seem to resist all that much. Or at all.''

''You caught me at a weak moment,'' Andy said. She knew- and she knew Lu knew- that there had been nothing out of the ordinary that had happened that week until their conversation. Things had been smooth sailing for a while, no weak moment in sight.

Lu squinted her eyes at Andy, standing up as well. ''What are you-'' she cut herself off this time, deciding on a different strategy. ''Is this a weak moment?'' She asked, sounding as casual as she possibly could. Aside from the weather, this evening wasn't all that different from April.

Andy closed her eyes for a second, a frown forming on her face. ''What?'' Lu was looking at her for a yes or no answer. She had trouble even remembering how their conversation had led to this. Talking to Lu like they did at evening, catching a whiff of the perfume she had been wearing that evening as well, it made her a bit hazy. ''No?'' It was more of a question than an answer, and she sounded more unsure than she'd usually be comfortable with.

Lu sat back down, her legs crossed. Her body was turned towards Andy who was watching her every move. ''Do you ever think about me?'' She asked, watching Andy watch her.  
''Excuse me?''

''Do you,'' Lu held eye contact as intently as she could, ''ever,'' her hand gripped the armrest a bit tighter, ''think about me?'' She finished the question. The ball was in Andy's court and she could only guess how far the other woman would take this. It was all up to her now.

''Think about you?'' Andy asked. She had to swallow back the word yes, which would have come out with the completely wrong intonation. She straightened her back, ''in what capacity?''

Lu stood up and leaned on the desk the way Andy had until a moment ago. ''Any capacity you can think of,'' she answered simply. When Andy didn't respond she figured now was as good a moment as any to kick things up a notch. ''Do you dream about me?'' Andy was good at putting up a façade; no doubt a result of her years in the army, but Lu could see right through it and knew the answer. It wasn't enough. ''Do you think about the way I kissed you? Do you think about me when you're taking a shower, all alone with your showerhead?'' Lu raised an eyebrow, leaning further over the desk until her face was mere inches away from Andy's. ''Do you think about me when you're screwing Milo?''

''Leave him out of this,'' Andy snapped. She could feel her cheeks getting hot and flustered and hated the way it gave her away.  
Lu backed away, ''that's what I thought.'' She straightened her lab coat a little bit and was weighing her options. Andy had turned her back to her and she had known she had pushed it too far, so she could either kiss and make nice- not literally- or leave.

Her hand was already on the doorknob when Andy finally spoke up. ''Do _you_?'' She asked, her arms crossed and she wasn't even sure she really wanted to know the answer.

Lu hesitated for a moment but decided not to look back. The only thing she had left to give to Andy at this point was a short, not-as-as-ambiguous-as-it-sounds answer. ''What do you think?''

* * *

Andy let the door fall shut behind her as she entered Milo's apartment. Her daughters were with their father for spring break so she had opted to stay with Milo for the week, letting Kayla have the house to herself.

''I'm home.'' She could hear a TV on somewhere but her mind was too foggy to even register it. She could feel she was shaking a bit and remained standing in the hallway, contemplating what to do.  
''In here.'' She followed Milo's voice to the small sitting area off the dining room, where he was sitting with a book.

He had his reading glasses on and somehow they made him look better, not older. She grabbed the book from his hands-she was sure it landed at least somewhere near the side table- and slipped into Milo's lap. She planted a kiss on his lips, ''Hi.''

''You're sure happy to see me,'' he said, drawing her face closer to his for a second kiss. It was rare that they had as much time to spend together, being openly affectionate, as they did this week. Milo took his glasses off and looked Andy over, something seemed off. ''Are you okay?'' He asked.

She gave him a small smile, ''never better.''  
''Are you hungry? I made dinner, I put the leftovers in the fridge,'' he looked over in the general vicinity of the kitchen but she wasn't listening. As Andy stood up from his lap he couldn't help but let out a disappointed groan.

Her hands reached out to him, pulling him up from the overstuffed, red chair- Andy didn't particularly agree with his style- and without another word she led him to his bedroom. He closed the door by pushing her up against it, ''the bedroom?'' He asked, raising an eyebrow at her before he continued kissing her.

''Why not?'' Andy said. ''We've had every other room in your apartment this week.'' His hot breathe tickled her neck and she couldn't help but push him away. When they had first gotten together it had surprised him how ticklish she was there, strange how she didn't run into the same problem with Lu…

She took a deep breath. She could prove Lu wrong. She could screw Milo without thinking about Lu. In theory it was simple. She was attracted to Milo, and even now after a few years together he still gave her butterflies. One kiss from him and the whole world seemed a bit brighter. Looking in his eyes she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone else, falling asleep next to anyone else.

So how was Lu always on her mind? When Milo kissed her she couldn't help but compare it to how Lu had kissed her. When he went down on her she couldn't help but imagine how Lu would do it. When he fucked her she couldn't help but think of how Lu would go about that if such a thing were possible.

She could feel Milo kiss her everywhere, her neck, her ears, her collarbones; he pushed aside her shirt to kiss the exposed skin there. This was what she couldn't imagine Lu doing. Taking her time to get into it. Lu had gone straight for the prize; she had one clear goal and didn't take any detours on her way from A to B. She had pushed a third finger in even when Andy could feel it was too much- knew instinctively that she was now bleeding- just because it would help her reach her goal faster.

Milo took his time. Tortured her until she was begging for him to be inside her. She could feel one hand on her ass, kneading the flesh there. The other hand was trying, and failing, to take her clothes off. She pulled away from him, lifting the shirt over her head and letting it drop on the floor. Somehow he seemed to shed all his clothes aside from his underwear on their way to the bed, where she pushed him down.

As she crawled on top of him she softly grinded against his erection. ''Minx,'' he muttered under his breath, followed by more than a few curses as she did it again. As he rolled her over and got on top of her, her hands roamed around.

''I sometimes think about Lu,'' she said. The butterfly kisses everywhere were nice, but sometimes it was difficult to resist the urge to push his head down.  
''What?'' He asked as he looked up at her.  
She bit her lip, not wanting to rehash the past too much but feeling he should know. ''You asked what my fantasies were, when I'm by myself. And I told you that I think about you.'' He nodded. ''I sometimes think about Lu.''

Milo seemed to think about this for a second. ''Is this something you consider acting on… again?'' He asked. Watching one of his fantasies come true right before his eyes had been thrilling for him to say the least, and he hadn't been as jealous as he had expected to be. But when he looked back on it later, the way Andy had moaned Lu's name and not his, it stung.  
Andy hesitated for a few seconds, ''I don't think so,'' she said, aware of the uncertainty in her voice. She grabbed his face in her hands, ''it's you I want to be with, and it's your cock that I want to feel inside me.'' She squirmed underneath him.

She could see his eyes darken further, as it reminded him of what they had been doing before she had interrupted. He resumed his attack on her senses when the doorbell rang.

''Should we get that?'' She asked him, not wanting to. As Milo seemed to work his way down until his head almost disappeared under her skirt, he poked his head up.  
''Get what?''  
''The door,'' she said. She could feel her skirt riding up as Milo wasted no time getting down to business. She could hear the doorbell ring a few more times but the sound all but disappeared as she focused entirely on what Milo was doing.

''Andy?'' She could hear Lu's voice drifting through the solid wood door.  
Before she had realized it a groan escaped from her mouth.  
''Don't get that,'' Milo said as he held her hips down with his hands.  
''Come on Andy, I know you're in there.'' Andy could hear the annoyance in Lu's voice. ''Milo told me.''

Andy gave Milo a look. ''She called earlier.'' She could see it had completely escaped his mind. She pushed him away, getting up from the bed. ''Don't move,'' she told him as she closed the bedroom door.

Making her way down the hall she could think of nothing else but telling Lu to piss off. Their conversation earlier hadn't helped their strained relationship. ''What?'' She asked as she swung open the front door.

Lu was taken aback by the sight in front of her. Andy was standing there in a skirt and bra, her hair tousled, and her lips red and swollen. Quite a sight. Not that she minded. For a second she forgot why she came here at all. ''We need to talk.''

''I really don't think we do,'' Andy said, ready to close the door.  
''Ands…'' Lu rested her head against the doorframe. ''After what happened this afternoon, don't you think we should?''

''We talked about it six months ago.''  
''Yes, and you said that we were okay and we're so clearly not,'' Lu said. Despite her insistence that Andy had come on to her, that she was just going along with what Andy had initiated, she was having a hard time maintaining eye contact. She had caught a glimpse of Andy's white, lace bra that wasn't leaving that much to the imagination. She had caught a glimpse of her stomach, even the strong shoulders which were usually hidden from view.

She hadn't seen any of it in six months. And that's how long she had both been trying to forget what it all looked like, and desperately hanging on to the memory not wanting to forget any of the freckles covering Andy's chest, not wanting to forget what the dimple at the base of her sternum looked like. The trail of hickeys leading from under her bra to below her skirt was new though.

When Andy didn't resist she made her way into the hallway, closing the door behind her. ''Is Milo…''  
''Don't bring him up, he has nothing to do with this,'' Andy said as she made her way into the kitchen, Lu following her.

''He has everything to do with this,'' Lu countered as she watched Andy take a swig from a bottle of wine before pouring herself a glass. ''If it wasn't for what he told you none of this would have happened.'' No response from Andy but a sigh. ''Look, obviously there's something here or we wouldn't keep butting heads like this.'' She watched Andy down her glass of wine and refill her glass, ''do you have anything to say, anything at all.''

Andy shrugged, ''you wanted to talk.'  
'' _With_ you, I didn't come here to deliver some monologue.'' She eyed the wine Andy was drinking, ''give me some of that.'' She didn't think it would be possible to laugh during this conversation, but being handed the entire rest of the bottle evoked at the very least a small huff and shake of the head.

They drank in silence for a few minutes. ''So what do you want?'' Andy asked. ''I mean, I don't know where what you said this afternoon came from, but…''  
''I wanted to see how you would react.'' Lu said, taking a small step towards Andy. ''I wanted to know if after what happened you would just push me away.''

Andy swallowed the last of her wine. ''You know I wouldn't do that.''  
''Yeah well maybe you should,'' Lu said. ''Maybe you should've just pushed me away six months ago, at least then we could still stand to be in the same room together, alone.'' She watched Andy for a reaction but nothing. ''I want us to be friends.''

''Me too,'' Andy said.  
''But now it's hard to think you of you as _just_ a friend,'' Lu said. She knew the wine was at least partially to blame for her honesty, but she was glad for it.

Milo came walking into the kitchen. His black underwear was still on but nothing else, but neither one of the women seemed to take notice. ''I got tired of waiting,'' he said to Andy as he grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He looked back and forth between them, noticing the way they looked at each other. ''Will I at least be invited to join this time?''


	6. The Control

**—The Control—**

* * *

Andy looked over at Milo, ''nothing is happening.'' At least not tonight, she added in her head. When she looked back towards Lu they were a lot closer together than she had realized.  
The spell seemed to be broken for Lu as well. ''Yeah, I should probably head home.''

''Didn't you just drink half a bottle of wine?'' Milo asked, taking it from her. ''You can sleep in the guest bedroom if you want.''

Lu agreed to this reluctantly and made the call to Jonas that she wasn't coming home tonight. It wasn't long before all three of them called it a night. Andy watched Milo yawn as he made his way over to the bed, and closed the door behind her. ''Now, where were we?''

''You still want to do that with Lu in the next room?'' He asked.  
The thought of Lu in the next room certainly didn't hurt. ''What Lu doesn't know won't hurt her,'' Andy said, pushing him down on the bed like she had done earlier.

In the two seconds she took to remove her skirt and underwear he moved up the bed, sitting up against the headboard as she straddled him. He hadn't planned on going through with this after what had just transpired, but Andy grinding against him ever so slightly was making it difficult to remember why he'd ever object to this. ''Let's just be quiet,'' he said.

''I prefer it when you make it hard to stay quiet,'' Andy whispered in his ear. She nibbled on his earlobe as her hands roamed around his torso. A giggle escaped her as she could feel Milo's tongue on her neck, teasing her there. ''What do you want me to do?'' She asked him as her hand snaked down between them until they were in his boxer shorts.

''Hmm?'' He was watching her, looking at what she was going to do next as she sat still.  
''Tell me what you want me to do,'' she said. Her hand was resting on his cock and she resisted the urge to stroke it, wanting Milo to direct her. It was different from what they usually did, and a small part of her hoped that the walls were thin enough that Lu would hear everything he said. Lu. Lu who was going to sleep in the bed they had had sex in just last night as a part of christening the apartment.

''Touch me,'' he said, his voice hoarse.  
She took him in her hand, ''touch you how?'' She asked teasingly. Her fingers were stroking him ever so softly but she knew it wasn't the way he liked it.  
His hand landed on hers, and he looked deep into her eyes as he moved her hand up and down. They moved in sync for a bit and it wasn't long before he was hard as a rock.

As soon as the first groan came out she took her hand away, and his eyes which had been close to closing, opened. He watched her face as he flicked her clit just once in retaliation. Torturing each other was more fun anyway. He could feel her leg twitch against him and smiled. ''Two can play at that game,'' he said.

He touched her again, a bit longer this time. ''You're so wet,'' he said, feeling the slickness on her fingers.  
''All for you,'' she said. She positioned herself above his cock, rubbing slightly against the tip.  
''Who else?'' He asked and regretted it almost immediately. He didn't want to say anything that could possibly make her think about the woman in the next room.

She shushed him as she sank down on him, waiting just long enough to kiss him that his loud groan had already come out.

Ever since that time in the car six months ago, this had been their favorite position. It had never been as good though. The way he claimed her as his own that night. The way his hand had slapped her ass until she couldn't sit comfortably for a week. She had never loved him more. And it hadn't been the same since.

She had asked him to spank her many times since then but it hadn't been the same. That night it had been a punishment. He had given it his all and she had felt it. He never wanted to hurt her- often being too gentle for her liking in the process-, but that night he hadn't cared that much. It wasn't with the same amount of conviction when he did it now. It didn't hurt as bad, it wasn't as intense, it wasn't as good.

She had more than once been tempted to remind him of Lu to egg him on, but she didn't want to hurt him either. Their sex life was still solid, she certainly wasn't complaining, but the knowledge that it probably would never be as good again as that night was disappointing.

Nothing about what had happened with her and Delgado had been completely intentional, but while it was happening the thought that maybe it would spark something in Milo had crossed her mind more than once. To maybe piss him off just enough that he would take her, be a bit more aggressive than his usual calm self. And it had. For one night. One freaking night.

She sat still on him. Waiting to move until he begged her to the way she had begged him to use some force on previous nights.  
''Andy…'' He drug out her name, grabbing her ass, ''move.''  
''Make me,'' she said, wanting to see what he would do.

''What?'' He looked at her confused. ''What are you doing?''  
''You want me to move?'' He gave a nod, ''well, make me.'' Her hands were resting on his shoulders; she could feel his hands on her ass moving ever so slightly as if he was unsure of how to go about this. She watched him, patiently waiting.

''Make you?'' He asked her. ''Don't you want this? Why do I have to make you do something?''  
She squeezed her walls around him, ''Lu didn't seem to mind, making me.'' She said, pushing all the right buttons. She was talking quietly, she didn't care if Lu heard every moan and groan, heard all the noises, but not the part where she was comparing her and Milo. ''Taking control. Making me beg her to make me come.''

She could see him silently make a decision, and gave a small smile, daring him, to push him to do whatever. ''Get off of me,'' he told her, grabbing her hips and starting to push away.  
It caught her by surprise, ''what?'' She hated that he could hear her surprise in her voice. She wanted to push him to take control, sure, but she was lying if she said she didn't want to have control over the way he took control.

He got his face close to hers, their lips almost touching. ''Get off of me,'' he said.  
She could feel him flop out of her as she sat back on his knees, waiting for his reaction. Andy knew she should apologize, not bring Lu up. Milo looked away and after a moment she got off him altogether, sitting down on the bed next to him.

She couldn't look at him, not like this. She replayed what had happened in her head, trying to figure out how to go about her next move. Andy was just about to reach over to him when he got up off the bed, heading to the en-suite. She couldn't help but watch his uncovered butt as he walked away; it had always been one of his best features.

Fine. If he didn't want her she could take care of herself. She leaned back against the pillows, her hand making its way downtown. A small moan escaped as she finally touched herself in the one place she had been wanting to touch all night. Rubbing circles around her clit, occasionally slipping a finger inside, she pushed everything that had happened tonight from her mind.

She could hear the bathroom door open but ignored it. Her eyes were closed, but she could feel Milo's eyes on her. Her moans were soft but getting louder, and just for good measure she decided to softly moan Lu's name. She could feel his footsteps coming closer to the bed, they sounded calm and collected but she didn't want to open her eyes to confirm that by looking at his face. He didn't want to have sex with her. That was that, and that was okay.

She moaned again, and before it was out completely she could feel her hand get slapped away. She barely had time to open her eyes and look at him before his hand made her way into her hair and dragged her forward, down on her belly on the bed, pushing her down forcefully. Her center connected to the bunched up blanket beneath her but the brief second of pleasure it gave her was ignored in favor of getting answers from Milo.

''What are you doing?'' She asked him, trying to get him to let go as he pushed her down and held her there. His other hand finally untangled from her hair and as she tried to turn around to confront him she could feel the first blow land. The loud sound of his hand connecting to her butt cheek hit her before the sting did.

She didn't mean to cry out, and certainly not as loud as she did. She could sense a moment of hesitation coming from Milo as he waited to see if she moved away or stayed in place for another one. When she didn't move he landed a second blow, harder than the first one. He continued on with a few more and with each the line between her crying and moaning became more muddled. With each she could feel the orgasm growing in her belly.

When he stopped for more than a few seconds her hands moved down to the now swollen, red area. She could hear Milo grab something but wasn't sure what it was- and didn't dare turn around to look. She thought she could hear the door opening and for a split second she wondered if Milo had left, but her mind was too muddled to check. Milo grabbed her wrist and moved one hand away, and without thinking about the other hand followed suit. Seconds later she could hear the looped-up belt whip her.

The belt whip was harder than Milo could ever do it with his bare hand. It hurt more. This time she didn't wait to see what Milo did, her hands covering herself again. It felt good, but she instinctively protected herself from the pain. Her head felt full and heavy, taking in all the sensations. The pain, the pleasure. She could feel the throbbing and knew she was close. He shooed her hands away again and she didn't resist. ''Just one more, okay?'' She could hear Milo ask, and she could feel the belt come down again before she had even nodded.

It was mostly just a cry that accompanied her orgasm when it finally washed over her. Her moans accompanied the aftershocks. She released her grip on the blanket beneath her, wet in one place from her tears and wet in another place from her juices.

She trusted Milo, truly. And she loved him for what he had just done, truly. But right now she couldn't turn around and look at him. Couldn't face him with the knowledge that she had come just from him spanking her. 6 months ago she could've had at least said it was mostly due to him being inside her, but not this time.

His hand was on her ass, rubbing it ever so slightly. She could feel his hands on her hips and drag her to the edge of the high bed, still on her stomach. Normally he'd wait a few seconds to make sure that she knew what he was doing, their silent communication was particularly effective when they were having sex. But this time there was not a second of it, his cock thrusting inside her from behind without giving it a second thought.

He had never been this rough before, pounding away behind her. Something about being used as a living sex doll worked for her though. She didn't give him any cues as to what tempo to use, but he soon settled on something that was more so working for him than for her.

Her hand snuck beneath her, on its way to her clit before he grabbed her arm and threw it down on the bed. ''No,'' was all she heard as he dug his fingers into her hips. Her hand grabbed the sheet instead. She tried to move a bit to at least have friction against the blanket but Milo wouldn't have any of it. She bit her lips as she could feel him move in and out of her. It was different from any other time that they had been together. It wasn't half bad.

Sure, she would never reach orgasm the way he was going about it. But knowing that he had complete control over her, knowing that he was using her just the way he wanted, it was a bit of a turn on.

One of his hands was between her shoulder blades, keeping her down and she buried her face in the sheets. She could hear him groaning and panting behind her, and every few thrusts when he hit just the right spot a moan would come from her- other than that she was just whimpering. At times it almost seemed like he was doing his best to not hit _that_ spot, to make sure that she knew he was doing this for _his_ pleasure not hers. He kept at it for maybe another minute before he came, his cum filling her.

He slipped out of her. She laid still, not wanting to move only to be pushed back down by Milo. She could feel the his cum dripping out of her, the warm liquid running down her inner thighs and she couldn't help but wonder how Milo felt about this. Her ass sticking up in the air, swollen and bruised, as was her pussy.

Tears were still running down her face and she wasn't sure why.

''Enjoying the show?'' The question coming from Milo confused her, and she was just about to raise her head when she heard Lu respond. Not gonna lie, she had completely forgotten about Lu staying over. Had forgotten about her plan to let Lu hear her, not that there was any doubt in her mind that she had.

It was difficult enough to let Milo see her like this, she couldn't believe that Lu had watched all of it; had seen the enjoyment she had gotten from the pain, had seen the way she had let Milo use her.

Her face was facing away from the door where Lu stood, and Andy was aware Lu and Milo were talking but the words weren't coming in. All she wanted was to roll up into a ball and be alone. She had wanted what had happened but it had been overwhelming, every nerve in her body standing on high alert.

She didn't realize how hard she was gripping the sheets until Milo took her hands, his arms encircling her, pulling her down onto the ground and against him between his legs, face buried in his chest. She didn't know how long they sat there, how long he held her; all she knew was that it helped.

Lu sat down on the floor next to them and Milo hesitated for a second before he let her pull Andy to her. Andy could feel the faded cotton shirt she had lend Lu to sleep in, against her cheek. She sat facing away from Lu, had not wanted to look at her at all, but now burying her head against the body that seemed to be molded against her perfectly, she felt perfectly safe. It wasn't the same as Milo's bare skin but she wasn't about to complain. Milo got up off the floor and she could hear him go into the bathroom.

Andy could feel Lu wipe the hair away from her face, behind her ear as she planted a few kisses on Andy's neck. One of her arms was around her stomach, holding Andy against her as she ever so slightly rocked them back and forth. Andy pulled her knees up to her chest, giving herself some sense of security, feeling less exposed to Lu despite the fact that she had already seen everything.

She could hear Milo's tentative footsteps coming back into the room and after a few seconds dared to look up at him. She knew that the question _what now_ was written all over her face, but he didn't seem to have a shred of uncertainty on his.

He had listened to her, and he had a plan.


	7. The Tryst

**—The Tryst—**

* * *

Milo pulled Andy out of Lu's arms and into a standing position, her body half buried into his. He had seen the way they had interacted in the kitchen earlier, pulling each other in only to push each other away again. He had hoped that the two of them was a onetime thing, that after that their situation would magically turn back to normal.

But since that hadn't happened, all he could do was lean into the discomfort or risk losing Andy. Problem was, he wasn't the kind of man who did things half-assed and he wouldn't let Andy do that either. If pushing her way past her boundary issues was the only way to eventually make her comfortable, then maybe she'd eventually be able to let Lu go.

He watched Lu get up off the floor and sit down on the bed instead. He didn't think she would stay after what she had watched him do, after seeing how Andy- who was still shaking- had reacted to it.

Sure, he wanted them to get more comfortable with each other in the hopes that they'd let the notion of there being something between them, go, but he wasn't sure tonight was the night. And it wasn't as if he could ask Andy what she thought of it.

It'd be a lot easier to make her see that it wasn't Lu she wanted but him if she didn't see it coming, he told himself. He pushed Andy away from him a little bit, towards the bed. ''Touch her,'' he instructed her. She looked back at him, Lu was equally confused. He didn't get the confusion, after all her years in the military she should be an expert at following orders.

Andy took a few moments to close the gap between her and Lu, who was wondering how she had ended up in this situation. She had come over to apologize for that afternoon, to smooth things over so that they could go back to their normal awkward friendship. Now she felt like Milo was telling her what to do even though she had no reason to listen.

He wasn't her boyfriend; they were only barely friends because they happened to both be a big part of Andy's life. She reached out to Andy, grabbing her by the hip.

''No.'' Milo said, watching from the door to the bathroom. Both women looked back at him, although neither of them was entirely sure why he was instructing them anyway. ''I want to see what Andy does when you,'' he locked eyes with Lu, ''don't prompt her. You don't get to touch her.''

He had seen Andy take control many times when they had sex, but this being new territory for her he was curious to see how she would go about it. He was almost entirely sure she would back out before either woman reached orgasm. He leaned back against the door, his arms crossed as he watched Lu and Andy look at each other.

Lu was tempted to leave right then and there. She got the same vibe from Milo as she had six months earlier, like he was daring her- and both of them- to do stuff they wouldn't normally do. She had just seen how much control he had over Andy and she wasn't sure whether to be turned on or to run away in the other direction.

The thought of how much she had longed to touch Andy after she had had to let her go that evening, it was impossible for her to run away now. To get to touch her again, or at least be touched. Andy grabbed her hand and led her to the other side of the bed, where she pushed Lu down into the mattress.

She could feel Lu pull her towards herself and apparently it was sneakily enough because she didn't hear Milo object. ''You don't have to do this,'' Lu whispered in Andy's ear. She could tell Andy was mostly doing it for Milo, which was- if you asked her- the wrong reason.

Andy put her hand over Lu's mouth, keeping her from talking before Milo said anything about it. ''Shut up,'' she told Lu. She could see the woman beneath her look back at her surprised. It came out harsher than she had intended but now was not the moment to take anything back. She pulled away, dragging Lu's underwear down her legs before moving back up her body, enveloping her lips in a kiss.

After the roughness of Milo and the humiliation Andy had felt from Lu having watched that, she had intended for this to end up being just as rough. But feeling the softness of Lu's lips, the softness of her skin against her own; it made her calm down. It made her want to go about this a lot gentler than she did a second ago.

She pulled away after a few seconds, taking in a deep, shaky breath. Lu moved her head up towards Andy who was all too glad to see that Lu was still into this despite her telling her to shut up. Despite apparently feeling like she was just doing this for Milo. They connected lips again and Andy could feel Lu part hers. The feeling of their tongues brushing against each other brought her right back to the first time they had kissed. Every time they broke away from each other and kissed again, it got a bit more intense.

Andy sat back on her knees, her crotch resting on Lu's pubic mound. She was wiping the hair away from her face and made eye contact with Milo. He was still standing in the exact same way, nothing had changed, not a facial muscle had moved. But she could tell. Andy could tell that he hadn't expected her to do anything with Lu. That this was just an exercise to see if she would.

She pulled the hem of Lu's shirt up and without saying anything Lu sat up a bit and pulled it over her head. The smallest of smirks appeared on Andy's face, wondering if and when he would stop her from moving forward.

Andy slid farther down the bed until she came face to face with Lu's somewhat parted legs. Her eyes quickly glanced over to Milo who raised an eyebrow at her. Despite plenty of experience of being on the receiving end of this, she had never been the giver. She had been the giver of many blowjobs, and Milo certainly seemed to be a fan of those, but going down on a woman was a new experience.

Lu could tell that Andy was thinking too much about it. She grabbed her head, fingers woven in the shoulder length hair, and pulled Andy back up. Whereas before she hadn't been doing anything, Andy now seemed more than eager to take her time before heading down south.

Andy remembered how Lu had kissed her initially, it had been sloppy, a mess, and it had communicated her franticness at the time. Now, as Andy made her way down from Lu's ear, to her shoulder, her collarbones, below her breasts, her navel, it was getting sloppier with each kiss and lick, mimicking their first times. The more she went exploring about Lu's body the more she wanted more. She tentatively moved her hands to Lu's breasts, and it was a showstopper.

She had known Lu's were bigger than hers, obviously. But where before she had been lost in the feeling of tasting what each different piece of Lu's skin tasted like on her tongue, she now couldn't help but wonder if Milo was comparing their bodies. It hadn't been much of an issue the first time around as they had both remained clothed.

She could feel old insecurities bubbling up. She could feel the pang of jealousy she had felt when she first talked to Milo about his fantasies and he mentioned that there were other women in his fantasies.

Milo could see Andy stop. Where before she was moving all around Lu's body, trying to find whatever spot might make her moan, she had frozen when she came to the boobs. He'd be lying if he said he was surprised. He could think of at least five reasons why Lu's boobs and pussy might make her stop in her tracks, but right now he didn't care about being right.

After throwing her around the bedroom, using her the way she had wanted to be used but probably wasn't ready for- instead of talking about it he held her for five seconds and then pushed her into another new situation. One that she might not be entirely comfortable with either.

He walked over to her side of the bed and pulled her away from Lu. Neither of them resisted. Andy leaned back against Milo, Lu snapped her legs shut and sat down at the opposite corner of the bed. The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes, letting everything that had happened that evening sink in. Milo could see Lu inch towards them as she had done earlier. He had let her have Andy for a little bit at the time, but not now.

He shook his head at her as his grip on Andy tightened ever so slightly. Lu quietly left the room, retreating back to the guest bedroom. Milo was surprised that she was staying the night anyway, but didn't care. He fell asleep holding on to Andy, not realizing that he would wake up without her.

* * *

Being an intern, you learn how to sleep just about anywhere and to sleep through pretty much anything, except your beeper. But being in a new environment made that impossible for Lu. Sleeping in a new place for the first time made her a very light sleeper, and the second the door opened she was awake.

She could make out Andy's silhouette in the doorframe before it closed. Feeling the mattress sink down a bit she wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand she wanted to pull Andy closer to her but after what had happened earlier, how Andy froze, she wasn't sure the other woman wanted that.

Lu rolled over. Her intention was to look at Andy who was now lying down as well, but she hadn't expected for their faces to now be this close together. Before she could utter a word she could feel the increasingly becoming more familiar set of lips on her own. It was starting to become instinct to just lean into it, deepen the kiss without a second thought.

Truth be told, Lu was surprised it had taken six months for something like tonight to happen again. She rolled on top of Andy and her hand made its way to the latter woman's cheek.

No matter how intensely the two kissed though, all Lu could think about was the guy sound asleep in the next room. He didn't deserve this. And despite how she felt about Andy, she couldn't let her do this to their relationship. The incessant thought didn't make her stop kissing Andy though.

Andy rolled the two over so she was on top, pinning Lu down. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest, telling her that what she was doing was wrong. When she left Milo's bed he had been snoring softly, blissfully unaware of her constant replaying of the events that had unfolded that evening.

''Andy?'' Lu could feel her kissing her collarbones and tried to gently stop her.  
''Hmm?''  
''Maybe we should talk about this,'' Lu said. She was resisting pushing Andy's head down. She knew they had to talk about this, force Andy to make the right decision, but her body didn't co-operate; wanted it to continue.

''I don't want to talk about this,'' Andy said, leaving a trail of kisses on Lu's neck. After the way Milo had tried to coax her into doing this she figured it was at least somewhat fair game to continue now. ''I don't even want to think about it.'' Her mouth was on Lu's breast, sucking on it ever so slightly and she could hear a moan coming from Lu. She waited for a reply from her but nothing. Her hand massaged the other breast, rolling the nipple between her fingers a few times.

''This is a bad idea,'' Lu said between moans.  
''Terrible idea,'' Andy concurred. The way it had gone down six months earlier had been different. Barely a second had been spent thinking about it in advance, and Milo had known this. Andy knew that this time they didn't have this excuse. She was fully cognizant of the fact that this would end badly, for her, for Lu, for Milo, for Jonas.

Her mouth switched to the other breast, her hand making its way to Lu's inner-thigh, stroking the soft skin there and she could feel Lu melt beneath her.

''I want you-'' Her words escaped her for a moment Andy's hand finally teased her clit. ''Your mouth…'' She could hear Andy release her breast with a satisfying plop and move down.

Andy nestled her head between Lu's legs. This is what had made her hesitant to come in here. After backing down earlier she was determined to go through with it now. She could hear a hiss coming from Lu before she had done anything; she nearly got knocked in the head as Lu pulled her leg up. ''Are you okay?''

''Cramp,'' Lu forced out as she gritted her teeth, trying to both stretch the leg and grab it to massage it at the same time.  
Andy watched her for a few seconds, trying to suppress her laughter. She grabbed the foot and pushed it back; stretching the calf muscle- this seemed to do the trick. On Lu's face she could see it alleviated the pain, and she was glad for it, but trying not to laugh at her partner's antics proved difficult- and the awkwardness she was feeling only fueled the laughter more.

''Are you laughing at me?'' Lu asked. She couldn't help it, Andy's laughter was contagious and soon a small laugh escaped her. It seemed to go the same way most things seemed to go between them nowadays: once they got started they couldn't stop. Andy rested her head on Lu's lower belly for a second, watching her face and trying to mentally get back into the mood.

She hooked her arms around Lu's thighs, her hands softly stroking the inner-part. As she planted several kisses there- getting closer to her destination with each one- she could hear Lu's laughing subsiding, until there was just silence interrupted by a hiss or soft moan every once in a while. She hooked her thumbs in the black panties Lu was wearing, and dragged them down before throwing them into the corner of the room.

As Andy continued she could feel Lu's leg twitch every once in a while but other than that she seemed completely relaxed, just letting everything happen to her. It dared Andy to go further. After one moment of hesitation she dipped in, the slightly sour juices coating her tongue, as her nose nuzzled the clit.

The reaction was immediate, as Lu tensed for a second and her breath hitched. Feeling encouraged, Andy was reminded of the techniques Milo had used so often on her. The torturing, the build-up… she had given Lu a little taste and now it was time to test her patience. She spent the next few minutes alternating between licking, sucking, and nipping at the skin on Lu's thighs.

Lu's legs were constantly pushing back, trying to push Andy to the middle. She enjoyed watching Andy get to work but frustration was building up. She had always known the former colonel was patient but this was getting to be too much. All she wanted to do was grip Andy's hair tight and move her exactly where she needed her to be, but her arms were too heavy. Her whole body felt like putty.

''Ands…'' Lu could see the other woman looking back at her, a wicked smile on her lips.  
''Yes?'' She feigned innocence. Andy could see the look on Lu's face, it was one she recognized immediately, it was one she had made many times. She hadn't realized Lu had been watching her and for a moment it made her self-conscious, until she remembered how much Lu had been enjoying herself. ''Close your eyes,'' Andy said, and couldn't help but feel proud when Lu immediately followed her orders. She had gotten Lu to a place where she'd do just about anything if it meant getting what she wanted.

She licked down the labia, slowly moving closer and closer to the clit, trying not to get too close in case it was too sensitive. She finally focused her efforts on just above it. One of her arms let go of Lu's legs- which immediately fell to the side- in favor of slipping a finger in. Her other hand made its slow ascend to Lu's breast, playing with her nipple. The coordinated attack seemed to do the trick.

Andy could feel Lu squirming beneath her, a continuous stream of moans coming from her lips. She closed her lips over Lu's clit, humming ever so slightly. Andy could feel Lu's hips buck against her face, and where before Lu had wanted to grab Andy by the hair to direct her, now she didn't even think about it as she did it. With Lu's hand smothering her against her core, Andy had no choice but to pick up the pace if she ever wanted to breathe again.

Andy's now wet hand withdrew from Lu, instead grabbing Lu's hand and trying to get her to loosen her grip. She continued sucking on the whole area, her tongue sometimes darting out to flick Lu's clit with the tip.

She could feel Lu yank her up. Where before she had consistently been pushing Andy's head towards her core, now she was dragging her up. Andy frowned at Lu, whose eyes were still half closed. Her hand had let go of Lu's, and had gone back to massaging between her legs. Lu bit her lip for a second, trying to suppress a moan, before kissing Andy. She had tried to keep her volume down, not wanting to wake Milo up, but it was proving more and more difficult.

She pushed all thoughts about Milo away. Andy had come in here, and if she didn't care what Milo thought then why would she? She could feel Andy slipping two fingers into her cunt, her palm rubbing against her clit. Lu took her hand out of Andy's hair, caressing her cheek for a second before moving down to her breast, playing with it as they continued kissing.

Andy was unsure of what to do. From what she had been able to tell things had been going well. Lu had stopped her right as she seemed to be getting close to coming, and now…

''What do you want me to do?'' Andy asked between kisses, her hand continuing to do its thing.  
Lu could feel the heat building up in her belly. With her face close to Andy's she was trying to form a coherent thought, ''I want you to fuck me,'' she whispered. She didn't wait for a reaction. Her head lay back against the pillow as she drew her knee up to her chest for a second and put it back down again.

Andy could feel both of Lu's hands on her chest now, but she couldn't focus on the feeling at all. She watched Lu intently as she slipped another finger in, trying to see if there was any pain but there seemed to be none. Lu's eyebrows were knitted together, her eyes shut, her mouth slightly open trying to take full breaths between moaning, sweat dripping down.

Andy tried to go slow but she could tell by Lu's reactions that she really wanted her to just hurry up. She was so close to the edge but the final push was coming agonizingly slow. Pushing another finger inside, and then another until her whole fist had disappeared, Andy started with a glacial pace, slowly working her way up. With the angle she was at, her inner-wrist rubbed against Lu's clit, and though she wasn't sure if this is what Lu had meant it sure seemed to work for her.

Lu moved her hand down, closing it over Andy's wrist and pushing it harder against her clit, wanting more friction there.

Andy could hear a few whimpers coming from Lu, before they turned into moans which became louder and louder. She kissed her hard, trying to somewhat shut her up. She could feel Lu's hips rocking against her hand, harder and harder.

The combination of it all was what finished her. Lu could feel her entire body spasm, her toes curling, her muscles contracting around Andy's fist inside her. Andy continued doing what she was doing until Lu pushed her away, it all became too much.

Without Andy's hand there she pushed her legs together, falling to the side where Andy was lying on her stomach, watching her.

Andy watched Lu move her own hand down, rubbing her clit a few more times and getting a few more twitches out of it. Her entire body was slick with sweat and she laid there in her post-orgasm glow.

The two locked eyes.

Andy was the first one to look away, pulling one of the pillows close to her. She could feel Lu's eyes on her. Andy bit her lip, it had taken six months but they were right back in the same predicament. ''What are we doing?''


	8. The Cheater

**—The Cheater—**

* * *

It was nearly five in the morning when Andy watched Lu put on her clothes. After they had had sex earlier that night they had fallen asleep next to each other- legs tangled together-, before both waking up very early. It had only taken a few short whispered sentences to decide it was better for Lu to go home and for them both to go back to what they had been doing: pretending none of it even happened.

Lu stumbled with putting her shoes on as Andy opened the door into the hallway. The oversized shirt she had slept in was hanging of her shoulder on one side, her hair a mess. Lu didn't look much better although she was fully clothed.

As Andy guided Lu to the front door in the dark, she could see light coming from the dining room and she could feel her stomach drop. She wasn't sure if they had left the light on earlier when she pulled Milo into their bedroom; but the thought that he might be up, that he might know what they had been doing, that she was going to have to explain what had been going on with her that she was now doing these things with Lu…

Andy opened the door for Lu and the latter woman turned back around, half expecting a kiss. Andy simply looked at her, and that seemed to do the trick.

She could hear the door shut behind her as she turned around and leaned against it for a second, summoning up the courage. Gingerly, she took a few steps towards the dining room with half a mind to just go back into their bedroom. But she couldn't do it. If Milo was up, and he knew, if he was up and sitting in the dining room, and she went into their bedroom like nothing had happened?

It would make things so much worse. She took a deep breath and then walked into the room, firm footsteps on the hardwood floors, her mind expecting Milo to sit there but still surprised that he was in fact there, flipping through the book he had been reading when she came home.

This wasn't a situation of turning off the light with the relief that there was a possibility that he didn't know, this was a situation of Milo sitting there with a tensed jaw refusing to look at her. The coldness Milo had when he was mad at her still surprised her every time, and right now it felt like the whole room was freezing.

She took a few steps towards him, the dining table still between them. ''Milo?'' She wanted to go over to him and take him in her arms, hold him and tell him that she was sorry and that she wouldn't let it happen again. But they'd both know it was a lie. She was sorry. She was sorry that she had hurt Milo with her actions, but she wasn't sorry she had slept with Lu. And she could swear up and down she wouldn't let it happen again but it was a coin toss whether she actually would.

She watched him closely, but he didn't move an inch. ''Talk to me.''  
He snapped his book shut, took his glasses off in one fell swoop and looked at her. ''And say what?'' He asked her. ''Tell you what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with the other side of your bed empty? With the sound of your girlfriend's…'' he looked for the right word for a moment, ''lover,'' he could see Andy cringe ever so slightly, ''moaning her name drifting through the wall. Do you want to know what that feels like?''

She gripped the backrest of the chair in front of her, ''Milo…'' she was looking for the right words to say but nothing came to her. ''I don't know what to say.''  
''Well that makes two of us.''  
''I didn't plan on that happening,'' she told him. It was the truth. Not the whole truth.

''That doesn't change what happened,'' Milo said. He paused for a second, ''so what happened?''  
Andy, who had been looking down, snapped her head up. ''Excuse me?''

''What happened? You said you didn't plan on that happening; did she lure you from our bedroom? Did I sleep through her seducing you?'' He looked at her with raised eyebrows, daring her to tell him the truth. When she didn't reply he scoffed. ''You went to her. You knew what you were doing and you did it anyway. You cheated on me in my own house.''

Andy could feel her cheeks getting red, ''you pushed me to sleep with her. You told me to touch her, dared me to go down on her.''  
''In my bed,'' Milo said, raising his voice ever so slightly. ''In my bedroom, with my consent. I never told you to go behind my back and cheat on me. That was never the plan.''

''Then what was the plan?'' Andy asked angrily. She had felt Milo was up to something but for most of the night he seemed to be mostly just playing it by ear.

He sunk down in his chair a bit, not sure how to bring it. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking slowly. ''I thought that if I let you do whatever it is you wanted to do, with her… then you'd get it out of your system. You'd realize that she isn't what you really wanted.''

Andy took a deep breath. ''Milo…''  
''I lost Tookie because she fell in love with another woman. I can't lose you too,'' Milo said. ''And I figured that if I let you sleep with her then afterwards everything would return to normal.''

She walked over to him, tried to take his hand into her own but he wouldn't let her. ''Milo, you won't lose me. I don't know what I am doing, but I know that I love you and it's you that I want to be with.''

He pushed her away as he got up, ''it's too late.''  
Andy followed him to the bedroom, ''what do you mean it's too late?'' She asked as he halted in the doorway. As she was asking it she could feel her legs go cold, her feet becoming numb for a second. She saw his face and knew exactly what it meant. There was a ringing in her ears which prevented her from hearing the words he was actually saying, but she could see his lips move and knew what they were saying.

She could feel tears come to her eyes, and could see them in his eyes too. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out, not that she knew what to say. She knew that he was about to close the door and wouldn't open it for her again.

She tried to take a full breath but it was like the apartment had suddenly been depleted of oxygen. ''I'm sorry.'' The words had barely left her lips when the door shut.

* * *

''I already referred her,'' Nick said as he handed Andy the patient file.  
Andy could barely keep her head in the game, but with her daughters in California and her boyfriend- no, wait, _ex_ -boyfriend- not talking to her, there was only so much she could do except for work. She took the file, a quick glance at the name. ''To who?'' She asked.

''Your lesbian lover,'' Nick said and she could see a slight grin on his face. He'd always been one for slightly inappropriate jokes, and after they had spent Christmas together a few years earlier and he felt more comfortable with her, he had only taken it farther and farther. She just looked at him, wanting to slap the grin of his face. ''Oh come on,'' he said, ''you know who is talking.''

Andy could feel tears burn in her eyes and she knew that if she said anything her voice would break. She shook her head at him and turned to walk away. He grabbed her by the arm and half-dragged her into an exam room. ''Dr. Campbell?''

She took a deep breath, pushing her feelings back. One of the many benefits of her years in the military had been that she had firm control over her emotions. ''Yes?'' She asked.  
''I'm sorry I said that.'' It didn't come out all that convincingly. He had made the same joke- and worse ones- plenty of times over the past six months, and she had never taken it particularly serious. He had never gotten more than eye-rolling from either Andy or Lu, and though he was sorry if he hurt her feelings he couldn't understand what was different now.

''It's fine.''  
''You don't look like-''  
''Nick.'' She cut him off, and realized that was the first time she had ever called him by his first name. ''It is what it is. I don't want to talk to you about this.''  
He nodded, ''okay. But if you ever want to talk…''

She just gave him a slight nod as she walked away. Breaking up was difficult enough without a hospital full of overly involved colleagues. As she walked into the clinic she nearly bumped into Lu, Andy didn't even look at her, just muttered a short apology.

It wasn't until she was behind her desk that she realized Lu had followed her into her office. They exchanged looks for a few seconds, ''can I help you with something?'' Andy asked, hanging up her coat.

''After what happened last night you have nothing to say?'' Lu asked, watching Andy sit down.  
''What do you want me to say?'' Andy asked, straightening some papers on her desk. '''I wish you hadn't come over'.'' She said, speaking her truth.

Lu took a step backwards, ''don't twist this around.''  
''I'm not,'' Andy said. ''I made the first move, I came on to you, I kissed you first, it was all my doing and I wish you had not come over.'' She buried her face in her hands for a second, before pushing her hair away from her face and looking back at Lu.

Lu could see the sadness in her eyes. ''What'd Milo say? Does he know?'' She asked, sitting down as well.  
''He does,'' Andy said, not wanting to say the next part out loud. ''We broke up.''

Lu closed her eyes for a second before getting up and putting her arms around Andy. ''I'm so sorry.''  
Andy bit her lip. She wasn't going to push Lu away but the last thing she felt like doing was lean into it like she used to. ''It was to be expected,'' she said, putting on a brave face. ''I cheated on him.'' It was a big realization for her. She had never thought of herself as a cheater, and even when she was with Lu she didn't entirely think of it as cheating.

It had been messing with Milo. At first. 6 months ago. She had figured he had told her his fantasies for a reason; she might as well do something with it. Messing with him to see how far she could take it, whilst never intending to cross the line. Even last night, sure; technically she had slept with someone else. But not an hour before he had tried to push her into it.

They had always had an open line of communication, especially about the sexual part of their relationship. She hadn't tried to hide this from him. This wasn't going behind his back and fucking someone else and then going home, smiling at him and lying. He knew what was happening, he hadn't stopped her. It wasn't until she looked back on what she had done, from his point of view, and realized that she had cheated. She was a cheater.

She remembered getting called a Ms Goody-two-shoes by Lu, and hadn't been embarrassed by it. All her life she had done what was expected of her. She had married the smart, blonde-haired blue-eyed good-looking guy, had the two children, had the white picket fence, and had a respectable job. She had done exactly what her parents- her father especially- had expected from her. She had internalized the expectations, had turned his dreams into her own.

But now? Her parents had already been a bit iffy about her dating a black man. What were they gonna say when they found out they broke up because she had cheated on him with another woman? Why did she sleep with another woman anyway? She had never before been attracted to any of them. She didn't particularly have a type when it came to men, but she'd still had always just been into men.

She could feel Lu break away and watched her sit back down.  
Lu tried to think of the right words to say, knowing how Andy felt about Milo there were no words that would make this easier. ''I know how much-''  
Andy cut her off. ''Have you ever dated a woman?'' She asked, her demeanor calmer than she had expected it to be.

Lu shook her head, ''no.'' She hadn't even had the wild crazy days one was supposed to have in college. She had Marc to come home instead of a party thrown by shitty roommates whose priorities were partying over studying. ''Have you?''

''No.'' The question she had posed last night was still floating around in Andy's head. What were they doing? They weren't dating, Lu was in a long-term relationship with Jonas and as far as Andy knew she had no intention of ending that. But from the way Lu spoke it certainly seemed that she had feelings for her. And, truth be told, Andy wasn't even sure how she felt about her partner.

She loved her, of course. They had been working together for years and had shared a close friendship. There hadn't been many people in her life that she had trusted as much as she trusted Lu, but she wasn't certain that she was in love with her, and when she had been in love before there was never any doubt about it. It was more that in the right setting there suddenly seemed to be some sort of lust that just overtook her. She couldn't explain it.

It was love, but it wasn't love-love. It was not being able to get enough of each other when they were in the moment, it was kissing like the French, hands everywhere, it was having hold-me-up-'cause-my-legs-are-about-to-give-out kind of orgasms. But it wasn't worth ending her relationship with Milo over.

Only she didn't realize that until it was too late.

* * *

The blood seemed like it had soaked through the thin yellow ponchos the ER provided, staining her skin. It was in her hair and if it hadn't been for reflexes it would've gotten in her eyes.

Lu was signing discharge papers for one of her patients when she saw Andy head for the showers, looking a mess. She hesitated for a bit, knowing the break-up was still raw and not wanting Andy to think she was just using her for sex. Still, she went in after her.

It was easy as it had always been between them. When it came to moments like this where neither of them seemed to be thinking straight- no pun intended- things just came naturally. Lu had no trouble convincing Andy to let her in the shower stall, any observer with half a brain could tell you there wasn't any convincing necessary.

Andy had tears in her eyes and Lu wasn't sure what was causing them; losing a long-term patient so brutally, not having Milo to lean on during moments like these, feeling like her life was falling apart, trying to figure out who she even was at all, or all of the above mixed with pure exhaustion. It was all too much.

Lu tried to get eye-contact to ask for consent, but when Andy started taking her scrubs off it was all she needed to know. She helped her get out of them, and after getting no resistance whatsoever helped her take her underwear off too. She started the shower, pushed Andy under the stream. She worked up a lather using the small bars of soap for body and hair provided by the hospital- how thoughtful of them.

All this time it had been about lust. Sure, their kisses were passionate, but not in a loving kind of way. It was getting down to business, getting each other off and not much more than that. But now? Sure, her hands wandered and most of the 20 minutes in the shower were spent touching each other, but washing her during a difficult moment wasn't lust.

It had been about providing comfort. In this case that included bringing her partner to orgasm, but it was more about trying just about anything to make her feel better than actually having sex. It was feeling Andy relax under her touch and knowing that she had done what she could. Their hands were roaming around and there were kisses, and neither of them knew what this meant for their relationship.

Not a word was spoken for them, and after leaving the locker-room they each went their separate ways without a spoken goodbye. The ending of Milo and Andy's relationship had changed everything, they both knew it, but neither of them knew what it actually meant for the two of them.

* * *

The next seven months were a blur for Andy. It was working long hours and coming home just in time to tuck her daughters in. It was random kisses from Lu after bad days. It was watching Lu go home to Jonas. It was PTA meetings, hours-long surgeries, and was watching Lu and Milo hate each other before slowly becoming friends.

It was having sex with Lu in one of the locker-room showers a few more times. It was comments from Lana about the strangeness of their relationship, without knowing all that much about it. It was thinking about dating women but never actually wanting to. It was making out with Milo after getting drunk at the annual bachelor auction. It was making plans for an innocent girls-night sleepover at Lu's house even though they both knew it wasn't innocent. It was fighting with Jesse about moving to California to live with her father.

It was having sex with Lu in her own bed when the girls were in California for half the summer. It was staring at Milo when he wasn't looking at her. It was going on random dates and not clicking with anyone. It was going out to a bar with Lu and pretending to be a couple when she got hit on by some random guy, only to continue 'pretending' after he left.

It was growing progressively more sexually frustrated and never finding enough relief for it. It was watching Lu and Milo joke with each other like friends at Lana's desk and wishing she could have that with him again. It was awkward eye-contact with Jonas when he came to pick Lu up. It was helping out with Wednesday night clinic and spending hours talking with Lu in the middle of the night.

It was having sex with Lu in the guestroom of her house when Jonas was on a business trip. It was falling asleep next to Lu and dreaming about Milo. It was crude jokes from Nick and unrequested tidbits of wisdom from Peter.

It was storming into Milo's office after getting word that he'd gotten engaged to be married.


	9. The Rebound

I don't even know what this story is anymore.

* * *

 **—The Rebound—**

* * *

Andy leaned against the closed door, tears in her eyes as she looked at Milo. He had been doing paper work when she stormed in. It had been seven months since they broke up, six months since he had started seeing Sandra, 17 hours since dinner with his parents had led them to get engaged.

He knew exactly why Andy was here, had been expecting it all day. It had just been a matter of how quickly the news would reach her. All he wanted to do now was stand up and hold her, make everything better until he could see her smile once again. Not once had she smiled at him since their breakup and he missed it, he'd seen her smile at Lu plenty of times though and it hurt every time, a reminder of what had been the downfall of their relationship.

Andy looked at him, wanting to kiss him and talk everything out. She had heard the rumors that he was seeing someone but just figured it was a rebound, there had been no doubt in her mind that they'd eventually get back together. They had made out after the bachelor auction not three months ago and she vaguely remembered him mentioning that he was dating someone; she hadn't bothered to ask any questions. She had just been glad to be near him again, the way they used to be.

''Is this what you want?'' She asked, referring to his engagement. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the answer but she needed to know if there was a chance something could happen between them again. The way he had avoided eye-contact, had his jaw clenched the entire time, it made her scared for the answer.

He picked up a pen from his desk, started playing with it. ''I'm getting married,'' he said.

She gave a nod, ''to the wrong person,'' she told him.

He knew it was true, but after the way Andy had hurt him the last thing he wanted to do was admit she was right. ''Says you.''

It cut like a knife. Communication had never been an issue for them; they could have conversations without a single word being uttered. But she didn't see this answer coming. From the beginning of their relationship it had just felt right, to think that he felt there was someone better for him, it was hard to wrap her brain around it. ''You know I lo-''

''Andy, please don't.'' He stopped her. ''I know.'' He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but she was making it harder than it had to be. For months he had been hoping that she and Lu would stop whatever it was they had been doing, and that she would come back to him. All he wanted was to be able to say 'I love you too'. But not now. He had committed himself to someone else. He wasn't the kind of person who cheated, he had been on the other end of that equation more than once and it had left him heartbroken each time.

Some tears rolled down her face and before he even had time to think about it he was out of his chair and had his arms around her. She quietly pushed him away. Feeling his warm embrace was making this difficult. She wanted him to know that she never meant to hurt him, that she missed him, that she loved him. In that brief moment that he held her it almost all came out, but he had made his feelings clear.

She threw one last glance over at him and then slipped out. All the way from his office to hers she kept her tears inside- it taking enough effort that she had a splitting headache when she finally came back- but let them fall the moment she was inside. Her hands over her mouth trying to keep from making any sound.

She didn't know what she had expected, but that wasn't it. The rejection hurt. She had always assumed they would get back together but now... The thought that he might actually marry someone else, that some other woman would get to have her happy ending with him- it broke her heart.

The office door opened and she quickly wiped away her tears before turning around to see who it was. She should've known who it was.

''Are you okay?'' Lu asked.

''Milo's getting married,'' Andy said. She had seen the unlikely friendship between Lu and Milo blossom; she knew that Lu probably already knew.

''I heard.'' She put her hand on Andy's arm, knowing that the latter woman wanted to keep her distance. Lately there had been some distance growing between the two of them and though she didn't like it, Lu understood why it was happening.

Their whole situation had been strange the past seven months. They slept together, even though she was still with Jonas. There had been more than just a few encounters between them at this point but neither of them actually knew what they were to each other. It was barely even a secret at this point. Sure, it wasn't as if she was discussing it with Jonas, but they both knew what she used their guest room for.

Andy sat down and ran a hand through her hair. ''I really messed up,'' she said. Lu looked at her silently. ''He was one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I messed it all up.''

''He can still change his mind,'' Lu said. It was strange to her how Milo nowadays would talk about private things with her before he would to Andy, but it gave her some insight to how he was feeling.

She had seen the fake smile he plastered on his face when Sandra was around, she had seen the way he had stared at Andy just as she did at him. The amount that he still talked about Andy didn't exactly cry 'I'm over you'.

But their friendship also meant that she knew that once he made up his mind he wasn't quick to change it, and getting engaged sure sounded like he had made up his mind about who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Andy gave a slight nod. ''He might. But once he marries her it's over.''

''Then just convince him he's making a mistake before he marries her,'' Lu said.

Andy pursed her lips, ''I think the last thing he wants right now is to see me. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for,'' she waved her hands between Lu and herself.

''Who knows.'' Lu sat down across from Andy. ''Even if he does marry her it's not the end of the world.''  
''I know.''

''Maybe you'll fall in love with someone else…'' Lu said. Andy looked up at her. ''You've still got your kids, your work, all of us… You know we all love you, right?''  
''I know.''

''Especially me.''  
''I know.''

''I don't think you do,'' Lu said.  
''What do you mean?''  
''You know I don't love you just as a-''

''Lu, don't.'' Andy stopped her mid-sentence, not wanting to hear what she had to say. They had been sleeping together on-and-off for over a year now, mostly the past seven months, and she had felt their dynamic change. And she wasn't ready for it. She could live with sleeping with another woman, but she wasn't ready to love one, not like that.

And she knew that if she admitted- even to herself- that that was the way she felt about Lu, there was no coming back from that. She certainly wouldn't get Milo back going down that route. ''I don't love you,'' she said, the sharp words hanging in the air between them, ''not like that.'' It was a lie. She knew that Lu knew that she lied. She knew that Lu knew why she lied. And they both knew exactly what this meant for the two of them.

Lu gave her a small smile. ''I know.'' She took a deep breath and got up, walking over to the door. Andy followed her. It was exactly like it had been a year before. They were closer to each other than they were supposed to be.

Lu was the first one to lean in, as she always seemed to be. Andy wiped a long strand of hair away from Lu's face, tucking it behind her ear, before her hand landed on Lu's cheek. She took Lu's face in her hands and tried to savor the moment best as she could, knowing this would be the last time. Their lips connected.

It was everything she didn't want it to be. It was loving and tender, the kind of kiss you want to make last as long as possible. The kind of kiss it was difficult to pull away from. She didn't want to end it; she didn't want to end things with Lu. She could feel Lu's hand on the back of her neck, holding her close.

Neither of them knew how long it was before they both pulled away at the same time. Andy's hand dropped to her side, Lu grabbed it and squeezed it before finally leaving. Watching that door close Andy had no idea if she had done the right thing.

* * *

She had to admit that they were a beautiful couple. And they looked very much in love; or at least Sandra did. Andy could tell one of Milo's fake smiles from miles away, and if this wasn't one of them she could never again be sure she really knew him.

It was some hospital fundraiser. There was a live band playing, lots of alcohol, and the two of them on the dance floor. She was unabashedly watching them, aware of the fact that she had already had way more to drink than she should in front of colleagues.

''May I have this dance?'' Nick asked, holding out his hand to her. She looked up at him; she had been so consumed in her own thoughts that she hadn't even heard him approach. She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand, allowing him to pull her out of the chair and onto the dance floor.

She wasn't much of a dancer and by the looks of it neither was he. It wasn't long before a slower song started and she sighed a sigh of relief, tempted to just leave. Watching the love of her life dance with another woman wasn't exactly how she had planned to spend her Thursday night. Before she could move Nick had pulled her closer.

His hand was on the small of her back, his hot breath on her neck. She froze for a second. Even whilst dancing with him she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice him. Her eyes had been on Milo and Sandra, dancing just a few feet away, their arms around each other and they just looked so goddamn comfortable with each other.

Andy wasn't jealous often but this did it. Her arms were around Nick's shoulders, swaying to the music together, but she couldn't relax.

''Are you okay?'' He asked, his voice close to her ear. It was only when she heard his voice that she was reminded he was there at all. Being so close to him send a shiver down her spine.

She pulled away a bit, gave him a smile before leaning in again. It wasn't half bad. ''I'm okay,'' she said, she wasn't even lying. The hand on her back almost seemed to stroke a bit and out of nowhere she became overly conscious of where her hands were, how she was breathing, how close she was to Nick. A flashback of describing him as ''hotter than a Texas summer'' came up, and she could feel her cheeks becoming red.

Trying to focus on anything else, her eyes scanned the room. Looking over Nick's shoulder she tried to ignore his cologne as she looked at the life band, the other people slow-dancing, and finally she made eye-contact with Milo. Sandra had her head resting on his shoulder, and he was mindlessly looking around until his eyes landed on Andy.

Just seconds before ever fiber of her being had been consumed by every part of her body that was pressed against Nick, but now she was right back to being all-consumed by Milo. Nick's body wasn't too dissimilar to Milo's, and for a second it felt like she was dancing with him. That it was his body she was just a bit too close to. She knew that if it had been just a few seconds longer the tears would've welled up, but the song was ending.

She felt Nick pull away, applauding the band as the singer took a bow, but he kept his arm ever so slightly around her. Milo and Sandra followed suit, turning away from her and Nick. He looked over at her with a smile, ''care to do that again?'' He asked with a wink.

She licked her lips, ''I think I'm just going to go home. Have to start bright and early tomorrow,'' she told him.

He nodded at her, ''I'll walk you to your car.'' He had his hand on the small of her back again, guiding her through the crowd before she could protest.

In silence she watched him put on his coat and get ready to leave, before he followed her to her office and watched her do the same thing. It wasn't long before they were outside. She was stumbling ever so slightly and knew she had had too much to drink to drive. She was stalling, not knowing how to get rid of Nick without getting in her car.

She was already formulating a plan of sleeping in her office- more than glad that Kayla was home with her daughters- where she could sleep the alcohol off and get started with patient files first thing in the morning. They were talking about nothing, neither entirely sure of how to say goodnight. This wasn't a normal part of their friendship, if you could even call their relationship that.

He had seen her down a few drinks and knew she shouldn't drive, but didn't know how to bring it up. He didn't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable, but he wanted even less for her to crash into a tree.

''Dr. Campbell,'' he stopped her mid-sentence, desperate to stop their disastrous conversation. ''Why don't you just sleep over at my house?'' She looked at him confused, ''we both know I'm not going to let you drive home in this state.''

''I'm fine.''

''You're drunk.''

''Tipsy,'' she argued.

''Call it whatever you want,'' he told her. ''You can sleep on my couch if you want.''

She shook her head at him, ''I don't want to impose.''

''You're not,'' he assured her, ''you can even sleep in my bed.'' She gave him a look, ''I'll sleep on the couch.'' She opened her mouth to argue again, ''I'm not leaving here until you agree.''

She let out a sigh. She was conflicted by the feelings she had had earlier, as well as thoughts about Milo swirling through her mind. ''Fine.''

His car was the most beat-up looking piece of shit she had ever seen, possibly only rivaled by Lu's car. Both cars were at least twenty years old. The door creaked as she closed it. ''The seatbelt is jammed on that side,'' Nick informed her. ''Just pull it.''

They had already left the parking lot before she had fastened her seatbelt. Despite its outward appearance it was fairly neat on the inside. ''Nice car,'' she said. It was just something to make conversation; they both knew she didn't mean it.

''Thanks,'' Nick said, focused on the road. ''I've had it since I was sixteen, invested every cent I made into it for years.'' She nodded at him, unsure of what to say. ''If you want I can also drop you off at Lu's.''

She looked over at him. After some of the jokes he had made about their… relationship, she wasn't sure she really wanted to discuss this with him. ''That's okay,'' she said, ''I don't think it's a good idea to go over there now.''

''Did something happen?'' Despite his teasing he cared.

''She and I aren't… doing what we were doing, anymore.'' The sentence had sounded a lot vaguer in her head.

''I'm sorry?'' He didn't mean for it to come out like a question but he couldn't pretend he wasn't interested.

''It's okay, it couldn't last anyway,'' Andy told him.

He raised an eyebrow at her, ''what do you mean?''

She looked over at him, ''well, you know… Delgado is... who she is who is she is, and I am who I am.''

''So?''

''So,'' she was struggling to find the words, ''she is a woman-''

''That you're in love with,'' he finished the sentence for her. He had seen the way they had looked at each other, and even though he didn't know how they defined themselves as a couple, he had always thought of them as just that. A couple.

''I'm not in love with her,'' she said.

''You're not?''

''No,'' they weren't quite close enough that she truly minded lying to him. ''I mean, she's a woman and-''

Her tone surprised him. ''And that means that you can't be in love with her?'' He asked. He could see her mind racing, ''it's okay if you are, you know.''

She readjusted her seat, too uncomfortable to just sit there. She wasn't ready for this, ''I'm not in love with her,'' she reiterated.

He nodded at her and they were silent for a while. ''So… when did you guys stop… doing, whatever you were doing?'' He asked. They had looked rather close not too long ago.

She narrowed her eyes at him. ''What does it matter?'' She asked. He was always asking rather intimate questions, he probably already knew way too much about her love life.

''I'm just curious about you two,'' he asked. She squinted at him. ''You know, Milo's not so discrete after a glass or two, and neither are the cleaning staff. I've heard some stories…''

Her jaw dropped, ''so what? You want me to tell you what we did in bed?''

He hesitated for a second, ''tell me, show me… whatever tickles your fancy.'' He said, only partly joking. She didn't look too happy. ''I'm kidding. I mean, I wouldn't mind hearing it, but...'' He left it hanging in the air. He pulled into the parking lot in front of his apartment building. He shrugged at her before exiting the car. He walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for her.

She pursed her lips at him, ''such a gentleman,'' she muttered.

''Actually, this door is somewhat jammed as well. Impossible to open from the inside,'' he told her as she got out.

She leaned against the elevator wall as they rode up. ''So why are you so interested in my sex life?'' She asked. He laughed at her, stammered something under his breath, and looked away. She tentatively took a step towards him, put a hand on his chest, he looked back at her. ''You can tell me,'' she said innocently.

In a flash her back was pressed up against the elevator wall, his lips on hers. She could feel him pressing up against her, feeling him against her thigh. At the sound of the ding as the doors opened, he pulled away. Her hand was in his as she followed him through the hallway. She couldn't quite remember how much she had had to drink, but she felt in a daze.

His lips were an open invitation waiting for her as she closed the door behind her, taking in the messy apartment in the split second before her eyes fluttered shut. It was a few minutes before she pushed him away. She was sobering up, the reminder that it had not been even a month since she had last kissed Lu.

With both Milo and Lu she had rushed into something while the previous relationship was just barely- or not even- over. Losing them had hurt. The last thing she wanted to do was rush into yet another person's arms and risk getting burned again. Especially not while drunk.

Nick looked at her confused as her hand on his chest kept him away. ''I should sleep on the couch,'' she said.

He backed away from her. ''Oh,'' he sounded disappointed and she felt bad for leading him on. After a few seconds he nodded, ''I'll get you some blankets, a pillow…''

She nodded. ''Can I take a shower?'' He handed her a towel as well, pointing out the bathroom door to her. She closed her eyes as she leaned against the cold tile, not believing how close she had come to being another notch on his bedpost. She stripped her clothes off, closed the curtain behind her. A cold shower was exactly what she needed.

He had looked at her through the door that had been left ajar. He swallowed hard as more parts of her body became exposed. He didn't know where he had gone wrong but at some moment between the elevators and entering his apartment she had changed her mind.

After all the stories he had heard she had slowly become more than just a colleague to him. When he closed his eyes he could almost see the stories he had heard play out on the black of his closed eyelids. The kissing, the touching, he wished he had been able to see it that night more than a year ago, and tonight as she kissed him the whole thing became just a bit more alive.

Watching the shower curtain close behind her he returned to his bedroom, landing face down on his bed with a groan.


	10. The Casualness

Why be a little OOC when you can be very OOC?

* * *

 **—The Casualness—**

* * *

It was better now. There were no more stolen kisses, no more glances at each other that meant more than any other old glance would. It was as if the whole thing had never happened; they joked with each other, Lu talked about Jonas, Andy spoke about Milo from time to time, and on rare occasions such as today, Andy spoke about almost sleeping with Nick.

''I'm sure it was just the alcohol,'' Lu said. As far as she knew the pair wasn't even on a first name basis yet, Andy being the only one to call him Biancavilla, the mere thought of calling him by his unnecessarily long last name seemed pointless to her.

''Probably,'' Andy said.  
Lu was surprised by how worked up Andy seemed about the whole thing. ''I mean, I've never even heard you talk about him before, especially not like this. Would you ever, while sober, consider doing anything with him other than, I don't know, save lives?'' Lu asked.

''Well…'' Andy started.  
''Seriously?''  
Andy cocked her head to the side, ''have you seen him?'' She asked Lu, who started laughing. She had been serious though. The whole night she had lain awake, replaying what she had told her patient a few years before. What she wouldn't do for a piece of him if she wasn't a happily married woman. Except now she wasn't a happily married woman, and he seemed more than willing.

''You're probably just rebounding,'' Lu said. Andy looked up at her, surprised by it. ''I know you miss Milo-''  
''Milo?'' Andy asked. It wasn't who she thought Lu had meant.  
Lu ignored her question. ''You two were together for a long time, it's normal to rebound a bit, just don't do anything irresponsible.''

Andy gave her a look, ''when have you ever known me to be irresponsible?''

* * *

Lu's words were replaying in her head as Nick tugged on the hem of her shirt. She wasn't sure what he was trying to do. They had run into each other in a supply closet, and not a word had been uttered before she had kissed him, irresponsibility be damned.

This time he was the one who pushed her away. ''I think we should talk about this,'' he said.  
''What?'' Frankly it was just annoying, but she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere without him saying his piece.

''Before we do anything, you should know that I'm not really looking for anything serious,'' he said. From her track record he was sure that at least until a few years ago this was probably a deal-breaker- after her affair with Lu he wasn't so sure anymore- but he felt she should know. ''I like you, I like talking to you, and I think we can be great friends, but I don't have feelings for you.'' He watched her back away a bit.

''Okay…''  
''Not that you don't turn me on or anything, I just don't feel that way about you,'' he said.  
''Okay.''  
''Okay?''

''Yeah, it's fine,'' Andy said, taking another step back. She ran a hand through her hair as she made up her mind. It wasn't as if she was looking to fall in love, and she certainly couldn't picture herself growing old with Nick of all people, but after the butterflies she had felt in her stomach whilst dancing with him, she couldn't risk hurting herself. She grabbed the door handle, ''I should go.''

Avoiding Nick had never been more difficult. Every patient of hers that showed up in the ER meant more time she had to spend with him. She was just about to leave, snapping her gloves off and throwing them away, when he grabbed her by the arm. ''Can we talk?'' He asked, pulling her into an exam room. He closed the door behind him and silently turned to her. She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting. ''I wanted to apologize for this morning.''

She crossed her arms. ''This morning?'' The memory of her hangover came rushing back, the memory of leaving before he woke up, hailing a cab to work, taking a shower in the locker room and being reminded of Lu, all before rushing into surgery. It hadn't been one of her better mornings, and her talk with Nick certainly hadn't made things better, but still, it wasn't what she had expected him to apologize for.

''I'm sorry for what I said.'' He was, but that didn't mean he didn't mean it. ''I just thought you should know,'' he said. He wasn't entirely sure why he was apologizing, but after her reaction he knew he should. She nodded at him. ''Are we cool?''

She frowned at him. ''I'm not mad at you,'' she said. He seemed surprised. ''At least, not about this morning.'' She sat down on the exam table.  
''Then why—Wait, last night? Are you upset about last night?'' He asked. She didn't answer. ''Why? Nothing happened last night,'' he said, recalling her pushing him away before anything transpired. She had ended up sleeping on the couch.

''You should've told me how you felt,'' she said, ''before kissing me.''  
He rubbed the back of his neck, ''I didn't plan on that,'' he said. ''I was just teasing you about your relationship with Lu, and then your hand was on my chest, and you looked up at me—it was pretty hard to resist at that point.''

He licked his lips and she swallowed hard. ''So why did you? Tease me, I mean,'' she added.  
''I just wanted to know. The stories I've heard…'' he shook his head. ''Plus, you know the age old saying,'' he said, reluctant to actually say it.

She raised her eyebrows again, ''which would be?''  
''A lady in the streets…'' he said, leaving her to fill in the blanks. She shook her head at him and he smirked at her. ''From what I've heard it's true.''

She smirked back, ''too bad you'll never find out.'' She said.  
His face fell a bit. ''You seemed rather interested in me last night, if I recall.''  
She bit her lip, ''I didn't know how you felt then.'' She walked over to him and put a hand on his chest, ''I don't take this lightly.''

''This?'' He asked.  
''Being with someone,'' she told him. ''I guess Delgado was the exception that proves the rule, but I don't just jump into bed with someone.''

''Then why did you kiss me?'' He asked.  
She shrugged, ''I had way too much to drink, and I was feeling lonely, and you—you are very hot,'' she said, matter-of-factly. He grinned at her, ''we were dancing, and then the whole situation with me sleeping on your couch, it all just kind of happened.''

His pager went off, ''for the record, you can 'just have it kind of happen' with me whenever you want,'' he said with a smile before slipping out.

* * *

She rang the doorbell before stepping off the porch, looking up at the setting sun. Hearing the door open she was afraid to turn around, afraid it was the wrong person on the other side. She turned anyway, locking eyes with the dark-eyed man. ''Jonas,'' she acknowledged him.

''Dr. Campbell, what are you doing here?'' He asked. From the start he had liked her, she had been a great doctor for his mother until she had passed away, and even despite telling him she was not a dating service she had helped him get with Lu. It was only after hearing the news that she and Lu had slept together that his opinion of her had changed.

And it wasn't as if he had been oblivious this past year. He knew they had continued seeing each other, he knew that at the very least Lu harbored feelings for her, if not mutual, and he knew that right now all he wanted to do was keep the two apart. Except he would never be able to.

''I need to talk to Lu,'' Andy said, wondering if he'd let her in at all, let alone leave them alone to talk. ''Just talk,'' she said.  
He opened the door for her, letting her step in. ''She's upstairs, getting ready.''

She vaguely remembered Lu telling her that they were going out for dinner that night. Without another word she made her way upstairs, right into their bedroom at the end of the hall.

Lu stood up from the chair in front of her vanity, surprised by Andy. ''Are you okay?'' She asked, noticing the look on her partner's face.  
Seeing Lu standing there, a low-cut black dress, her hair curly, and her makeup done perfectly, Andy forgot what she had came here for to talk about. After a second she shook her head, trying to clear her mind. ''I'm okay,'' she said.

As the memory of the speech she had prepared on the way over here came flooding back to her, she suddenly doubted she wanted to say any of it at all. Lu led her to sit down on the bed before pulling up her chair. ''I love you,'' Andy said, deciding it was best to just come out with it.

Lu frowned at her, unsure of how to respond, ''okay?''  
''You said you loved me, as more than just…''  
''I know.''  
''I said I didn't,'' Andy said, ''love you like that.''

''But you do.''  
''But I do.'' Andy repeated. ''I loved you, and I liked you, and I was in love with you.'' It was the first time she had out-loud admitted to it. It felt like a heavy weight off her shoulders, even though she knew it wasn't going to change anything about their relationship.''

''I know,'' Lu said. Andy might've been lying to herself but Lu hadn't. She knew how she had felt about Andy and she knew how the former colonel felt about her. She hadn't had to say it for Lu to know it.

''It was never going to work,'' Andy said.  
Lu thought about the man getting ready downstairs. ''No, it wouldn't've.'' She said, not nearly as sure as Andy was. Still, she felt the need to reassure her. ''I'm with Jonas, and you're jumping in the sack with Nick.''

''I'm not,'' Andy said quickly.  
''Already getting over your rebound?'' Lu asked, standing up to retrieve her necklace from her vanity. ''I guess it has been a while since your break-up.''

Andy stood up, getting behind Lu and taking her necklace from her hands. Brushing Lu's hair to the side she took a deep breath. ''I wasn't on the rebound from _Milo_ ,'' she said, her hand brushing against Lu's neck. Andy could see goose bumps form but chose to ignore it. She put on the necklace, admiring it in the mirror across from the two of them. The image of them so close together made her miss what they had once had.

Lu turned to Andy, closer to her than they had been in over a month. She pointed to herself with a frown, ''me?'' She asked softly. She never would've guessed Andy would rebound from- what Lu knew Andy thought it was even though it was not what Lu herself would call it- their fling, and she didn't know what to say.

Andy nodded.  
''Why are you telling me this?'' Lu asked, sitting down again to put on her heels.  
She couldn't say she hadn't pondered that same question herself, only to end up with the exact same answer each time, ''there's nothing I don't tell you.''

Lu looked up with a smile. ''You should find someone to vent your feelings to that you haven't slept with,'' she said.  
''I'll work on it.''  
''So what happened with you and Nick?''

Andy sighed, ''we kissed.''  
Lu looked back at her with raised eyebrows, ''are you two gonna…''  
''I don't know,'' Andy said. ''He made it very clear he doesn't have feelings for me, so… Make of that what you will.''

''That doesn't mean you can't still be with him,'' Lu said. Andy gave her a look. ''If you want to and he wants to, then who cares if you're in love with him or he with you, or neither of you with the other? If you want to screw his brains out then do that.''

''That's not who I am,'' Andy said.  
''But why would you stop yourself from doing something- or someone- you want to do?'' Lu asked. She could see how conflicted Andy felt. ''What if Milo does marry Sandra?'' She asked, she couldn't imagine it actually happening and Andy didn't look too thrilled at the thought either. ''What if he marries her and you never fall in love with anyone else. Are you just never going to have sex again?''

''I'm not a fan of hypotheticals,'' Andy said, ''or at least not of this one.''  
Lu glanced at her watch; it was nearly half past seven. ''We have dinner reservations at eight,'' she told Andy as she walked over to the bedroom door. She turned around before opening it, ''what have you got to lose, really?''

* * *

She looked up at him. Her head leaning against the doorframe as a surprised look crossed his face. ''Dr. Campbell?''

''If we're going to do this you might as well call me Andy,'' Andy told him, feeling completely unsure of herself. After leaving Lu's house she had thought about her words. Why would she deny herself this? Nick had made it clear he wanted to, so why not? He slowly nodded at her. She looked him up and down, waiting for him to make the next move but he seemed frozen. ''Can I come in?''

''Oh yeah, of course,'' he said, stepping aside. He had been completely taken aback by her showing up at his front door. After what had happened the previous night, as well as that morning, he didn't think she would want much to do with him anymore.

As he got them both drinks she looked around his apartment. The pillow and blanket she had used the previous night were still on the couch, but other than that the apartment was a lot neater than you would expect from a bachelor. He brought over two diet cokes and she smiled at him, ''I like your couch,'' she said, a futile attempt at small talk to mask the awkwardness she was feeling.

''I hope it was comfortable,'' Nick said, sitting down on the couch.  
Andy nodded, ''it was,'' she said, sitting down as well.  
They were both quiet, trying to figure out how to bring up why Andy was here. He knew why, he just didn't know _why_. ''So, what changed your mind?'' He asked.

She wasn't sure she had. ''I just…'' she searched for the right words but they didn't come. She wanted to know if this was something she could actually do, have sex with someone she would never want a romantic relationship with. She wanted to know what it would feel like. How would she feel about him in the morning? Was this something that she, a woman who had been taught that sex was exclusively for married couples, could do with someone she would never dream of marrying.

It had been different with Milo. Not only had she waited until they had been dating a few months before she slept with him, when she closed her eyes she could imagine them being married, growing old together. Until the moment they broke up she had every intention to one day be his wife.

And Lu. It might not have started out that way, but eventually she could imagine them being something. Maybe not married but something nonetheless. It might not have been as much as a relationship as much at it had been an obsession, but it was still more than what she had with Nick.

She leaned a little closer to him as he did the same. Their faces were inches apart, their eyes locked together until hers fluttered close. She could feel his lips brush against hers, his hand moving up to her face; he used his hand to draw her face closer to his. His lips parted slightly and she followed suit.

He pulled her closer, pulling her on top of him. Their kissing grew more intense, both of them trying to be closer to the other, breathing heavily. He pulled away for a second, pulling his shirt over his head, he wasn't wearing anything underneath. She ran her hands over his warm, bare skin, and for a moment she closed her eyes and pretended it was Milo.

She hated herself for doing it but quickly put it out of her mind. He didn't feel the same anyway.

His hands were on her butt, pulling her closer to him before playing with the hem of her skirt like he had done earlier that day. ''What are you doing?'' She asked quietly.  
Where before he had seen smooth and confidence, he almost looked shy for a moment. ''I want to take it off,'' he said, ''but if you're not comf-''

Andy took that as her cue. She got off his lap, pulling her shirt off over her head as she walked to his bedroom. She turned around in the doorframe, raising her eyebrows at him. He followed her inside, closing the door behind him. He watched her take the remainder of her clothes off, surprised by how casual she seemed to be about it.

He had watched many different women take their clothes off in his bedroom, in all different ways. Most tried to turn it into a little striptease, some very shyly waiting until they were under their covers. Andy seemed very practical about the whole thing, like her clothes would just get in the way so she might as well take them off. Nick still liked watching it though.

They landed on the bed together and it wasn't long before the remainder of Nick's clothes came off as well. She grew more nervous about the whole thing as she watched him reach for the bedside table, taking a tin foil package out of the drawer. He opened the package with his teeth, noticing her hesitation as he put the condom on. ''We can stop whenever you want, just say the word,'' he told her.

She nodded at him, determined to go through with it. When she didn't protest he got back on top of her, and she opened her legs wider for him. Using her hand to guide him in she couldn't help but hold her breath. It was familiar but different.

At times it was both hard and fast, as well as slow and sensual. There was some alternating between paces, some switching of positions, and then- with a groan- he came and rolled off of her.

She laid down on her side, watching him get up and throwing the condom away before disappearing into the bathroom. He came back a minute later. He laid back down next to her and pulled her into his arms, ''did you…?'' He asked, frowning.

For a second she was tempted to lie, but figured was there no point in doing so. ''It's fine.'' She said. Before she could get the whole sentence out he had rolled them over onto her back and was crawling under the covers. ''Really, you don't have to-'' She could feel his mouth on her and decided against protesting.

If she was going to do this she might as well get something out of it. It's not as if coming had ever been a particular challenge for her, but being with someone new for the first time meant that she was over-thinking the whole situation, which only made it difficult. But he seemed eager enough to please, and it took no time to realize that he knew exactly what he was doing.

It wasn't long before she came, moaning two different names- neither one of them being Nick's- as tears crept over her eyelids.


	11. The Talk

I guess it's two for the price of one tonight. Enjoy.

* * *

 **—The Talk—**

* * *

His smile didn't seem so fake anymore, and it killed her.

He had his arm around Sandra as they were talking to Bob Jackson, and she was becoming aware that she had been staring at the pair for way too long. It had been bearable before, when from a mile away she could tell that he was feigning happiness—he didn't look in love with her, he didn't even seem particularly interested in what she had to say.

But now. She could a sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her. He was being openly affectionate towards her. He was standing next to her and his eyes weren't wandering off- usually to end up staring back at Andy-, he was listening to her, smiling at her jokes.

''My grandma used to say that people who stare are in love,'' Nick said as he came up behind her, looking over her shoulder at Milo and Sandra as well.  
''He looks happy, doesn't he?'' Andy asked him, not taking their eyes off of them.

''He does,'' Nick concurred. ''Maybe he's faking it,'' he said in hopes of cheering her up. Their relationship mostly consisted of a once of week- or whenever they had time- roll in the hay, but slowly they had started to talk more. He had felt kind of obligated to offer emotional support in order to get her to stop crying after sex, but he honestly didn't mind. He had come to appreciate their talks.

''He's not, I'd be able to tell,'' Andy said, finally turning towards Nick, hoping to put Milo and Sandra out of her brain.

For the most part it was hard to ignore the very existence of the woman, but gatherings like these made it difficult. She came to every hospital function- boring fundraisers included- and that included a weekend trip to Dr. Jackson's fishing cabin. A bunch of people had been invited, and most of them had brought people along.

Corrina had agreed to sleep over to watch the girls, and Andy had decided that a getaway was the perfect way to get her mind off of how things were going. Seeing Milo and Sandra together here though, as well as Lu and Jonas... she couldn't say she was particularly thrilled with the current state of affairs. Nick's clinginess when drunk certainly didn't help either.

She would go home but she didn't want Milo to think that he was getting to her. They hadn't uttered a single word to each other in months now, and all she wanted to do was go over to him and tell him everything and have him tell her everything. Have it be like the olden days.

It wasn't that she wasn't grateful to Nick for listening whenever she needed to unburden herself of her feelings towards everything, but it wasn't the same.

''Come on, we're going to play seven minutes in heaven,'' Nick said as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards the group of people forming in the corner of the room.  
''Seven minutes in heaven?'' Andy asked, ''are we twelve?'' Her protests were only verbal though, as she sat down next to him in the circle. She looked around at the other people and couldn't imagine a single person she would want to spend seven minutes alone with.

Not even Milo, not Lu, not Nick. Maybe herself.

Every few minutes someone spun the bottle, and two people would go off into one of the rooms. It was a slow game for the most part. No one landed on her, and no one landed on the people she didn't want them to land on.

She was halfway dozing off when Nick nudged her, ''looks like you're up,'' he said. She opened her eyes, dreading finding out who could have possibly landed on her when he directed her gaze toward the opposite side of the circle where Jonas was looking wide-eyed. She could see Lu shrink down; it was she who had spun the bottle.

''Absolutely not,'' Jonas said before Andy could even react to what had happened. He turned to Lu, ''no way.'' A silent fight, where they mostly just made faces at each other, broke out.  
Andy watched them for a little bit before deciding to put an end to it. ''Why don't I just spin it?'' She suggested. She had to repeat it a few times before the arguing couple took notice.

Half the room was confused by what had just happened, and the other half didn't seem to care. Andy took the bottle, looking around at the dozen people around her. It wasn't so much that she was trying to land on Milo, it was more that she was trying not to land on any of the other eleven people. Either way, it didn't work. She was close though. Her eyes looked up from the direction of the bottleneck, straight into Sandra brown eyes.

The other woman jumped up, grabbing Andy by the hand and dragging her off—seemingly excited to finally be able to play. Andy was more concerned with what would happen next. The person next to the one that got landed on- Milo in this case- was to go next. She mostly just wanted to know who he would be spending his seven minutes with.

''This is so exciting,'' Sandra said, ''I've never played before. Have you?'' She asked as she closed the door behind her.  
''Yeah, in middle school on a class trip,'' Andy said as she sat down on the desk chair in the room.  
Sandra bounced down on the bed, ''so what do we do?''

''You're supposed to make out with each other,'' Andy informed her, shocked that Sandra was this excited about a game she didn't even know. She could see the other woman's face change. ''We can just talk.''  
Sandra nodded, taking a moment to find a suitable topic, ''so… are you seeing anyone?''

For a brief moment Andy considered telling her that she and Nick were together, it wasn't a complete lie but she knew that the fact that they weren't sharing a room would just lead to questions. ''No,'' she said. After a brief moment of silence she decided it was best to somewhat address the elephant in the room. ''I never congratulated you on your engagement.''

''Thanks,'' Sandra said. ''Yeah it's quite exciting,'' she seemed to glow talking about it. ''We're planning to get married in June, so we only have two months left to plan everything—it's very stressful but… I just can't wait to get married. Do you know Dr. Morton well?''

The question surprised Andy, she had figured that Sandra knew about their past. She hesitated, ''I used to, but we don't talk much anymore.'' It wasn't a complete lie, actually it was quite truthful, but Andy still didn't feel great about it. ''How did you guys meet?''

''My parents are old friends of his parents, so we knew each other when we were little. We just ran into each other at a restaurant and got to talking and it was love at first sight,'' she said, smiling widely. ''He was apparently just getting out of a relationship and so was I so we helped each other get over it, and now… I just can't believe my luck. He's such a wonderful person, so kind and generous…''

Andy could feel her heart break even more into two. She couldn't help but echo the sentiments. He was all those things; it was some of the qualities that had attracted her to him, but hearing how in love Sandra was. ''I've heard that,'' Andy said as she got up and walked over to the window. It was difficult to face Sandra right now, plus the scenery wasn't bad to look at.

''Yeah,'' Sandra leaned back on the bed. ''Doesn't hurt either that he's good in bed…'' she added as a blush spread across her cheeks.  
''Is he now?'' Andy asked, trying to tune Sandra out because she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she didn't want to risk tipping Sandra off to how she felt.

''Oh you have no idea,'' Sandra said, getting up and walking over to Andy. ''I mean, we stopped… you know… when we got engaged, we're waiting to again until we're married, but…'' she leaned in close and whispered, as if anyone else could hear them, ''he can fuck the paint off the walls.''

Andy looked at her with open mouth, ''excuse me?''  
Sandra put her hands up, ''I'm just saying,'' she said, ''you don't know good sex until you're with the right person.''  
''Is that so?''

''Yeah,'' Sandra said as she sat back down, ''especially once he got over calling me by his ex's name.''  
Andy spun around, ''his ex's name?''  
''Yeah, Anna. Do you know her?''

Andy shook her head, ''no…'' She sat down as well. ''Why are you telling me all of this again?''  
''Oh look at me, I'm just blabbing on aren't I?'' Sandra looked away, ''I just figured that since we're not doing the original seven minutes in heaven thing, we might as well talk about something interesting.''

''Hmm.'' Andy couldn't say it wasn't interesting, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear it.  
''Plus, you've been so quiet all weekend, I figured you could need someone to talk to,'' Sandra added. ''This seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk.''

* * *

Okay, so they didn't exactly end up talking all that much. Soon after Sandra said that she wanted them to their seven minutes were up and they returned to the living room, only to find Milo and Lu missing from the circle.

She spent the rest of the night hanging back, processing her feelings about Sandra, as well as wondering what Lu and Milo had possibly talked about. Andy knew they had somewhat become friends but she couldn't imagine them actually hanging out and talking about anything more than the most superficial topics.

It kept her from her sleep that night, not that she ever needed much sleep anyway. It was almost three in the morning when she decided she might as well get up and try to kill some time before going back to sleep. It was then that she found Milo sitting on the porch overlooking the lake. ''Couldn't sleep either?'' She asked as she stepped outside, wrapping her blanket tightly around her.

He turned around to look at her, surprised by the sound of her voice. ''No,'' he said, ''these lumpy old mattresses don't exactly make it easy.''  
Andy smiled at him, ''I talked to Sandra today,'' she said, knowing that he already knew.

''I know,'' he said, recalling the dread he felt when he saw them head off together. ''I hope nothing happened between to you,'' he said, only half joking as he took a swig of his bottle of water.  
She laughed at him, ''Oh come on…''

''Well, women do have the tendency to cheat on me with other women, so it's not completely out of the question,'' he told her harshly.  
''You know I wouldn't do that,'' Andy argued.  
''Now isn't that considerate of you,'' Milo said. ''You won't try to steal my fiancée away from me.''

They were silent for a little while, neither wanting to open their mouth and risk letting the other know just how much they had hurt them. ''Milo, I would never intentionally try to hurt you,'' Andy said, sitting down on the reclining chair next to him.

''You mean except when you do,'' Milo said, taking his gaze off of her. ''For months you lied to me, and then tried to guilt me into going back to you.'' Andy looked at him confused, and he knew that she would never see it from his perspective. ''You said you didn't have feelings for Lu, even though you were in love with her.''

''Who said I was in love with her?'' Andy asked.  
''Lu did,'' Milo said and he could see how betrayed Andy felt on her face. ''Not directly, she even tried to lie about it, but when I asked her about it… You can't live in denial about that,'' he said. ''And then when I finally move on, get engaged, you come to my office and tell me that you love me?'' He shook his head in disbelief.

Andy buried her face in her hands, needing a moment to gather her thoughts. ''Okay so what?'' She asked and Milo looked back at her. ''I was in love with Delgado. And I lied about it, because I love you more and… I don't know, maybe I didn't want to admit it to myself. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. And yes, I should have chosen a better time to tell you that, and if I made you feel like I was trying to manipulate you then I'm very sorry, but…'' _she_ wasn't even sure where she was going with this.

''But?''  
''But I do love you,'' Andy said. ''I loved you then and I love you now, and I know that you hate me but-''

''I don't hate you,'' Milo interjected.  
''Even if you did it wouldn't change how I felt,'' Andy said. ''I love you and I want you to be happy, and I think Sandra makes you happy. And, I mean, I met her, and she sounds lovely, if not incredibly open about her sex life.''

Milo chuckled, his anger already subsiding, ''yeah, discreteness is not her strong suit.''  
''You don't say,'' Andy said sarcastically. ''In case you're wondering, she thinks you're a sex god.''  
''She said that?''  
''It's what it boiled down to.''

Andy looked at him, glad that for the first time in months he was smiling because of something she had said. Glad that for the first time in months they were talking at all. ''She also happened to mention an ex of yours… Anna?''

''Oh yeah, I forgot about that,'' Milo said, looking slightly embarrassed. ''I started saying your name and decided it was best she didn't know.'' He remarked offhandedly.  
''What does it matter if she knows we used to be together?'' Andy asked with a frown. If he tried to hide it from Sandra, then that must mean he felt there was something to hide. If he was truly over her then why would he care?

Milo waved it off, ''it doesn't matter.''  
Andy took a deep breath, ''so why hide it?'' She asked. He didn't answer, and given their current relationship Andy figured it was best not to press the issue. ''Do you ever miss me?''

He looked at her intently, as if trying to figure out if he should answer that. His jaw relaxed, ''sure.'' When she didn't respond he continued. ''We were together for quite some time, it's natural to miss some things… I miss even just working together.''

''We were a good team.''  
''Yeah,'' Milo said. ''And of course the other stuff too. You never hesitated to disagree with,'' they both chuckled, ''stealing moments here and then, like preparing for surgery together. I miss sleeping next to you. I miss Jesse and Lizzy…''

''They miss you too,'' Andy said, watching him as he seemed to relive their better moments in his head.  
He was tempted to ask her if she missed him- even though he knew the answer- just to hear her talk more about them together. ''I miss us, sometimes.''

She couldn't say the _sometimes_ part of that sentence didn't hurt, but she'd take it. Just to hear Milo talk, about them, and admit that he missed her from time to time… it was more than she had expected from a work trip. ''So what'd you and Lu talk about?''

A look of embarrassment crossed his face for a second, and it only made her more curious. ''Ehh, you know, some of the stuff that happened between us, and between you and her.''  
His attitude somewhat surprised her, he was usually very upfront about stuff like this. ''So what about it? I dated you and her,'' she almost immediately wished she could take those words back, she never actually dated Lu, ''and now you two are going to get together?'' She asked, drawing a heart in the air with her finger.

He shook his head at her with a smile. ''I don't see that happening,'' he said, and after a second it's like he suddenly remembered Sandra, ''plus, I'm getting married.'' As if she didn't remember that. ''No, she just said that if we ever get back together we should have a threesome, make the whole thing full circle or something.''

''How is that making it full circle?'' Andy asked, desperate to focus on just one part of what he had just said so she could ignore the rest.  
''I have no idea.''

''Is that what you were trying to accomplish? You know, when you told me about your fantasy,'' Andy said.  
''I didn't think you'd ever act on it,'' Milo told her. ''I just wanted to see what would happen, not that I would have turned it down, but…''  
''So if instead of it just being me and her, if we had invited you to join then…''

''Then maybe it would've been us walking down the aisle in two months,'' Milo said.  
Andy looked away, needing a moment to gather herself. ''But instead you're marrying Sandra,'' Andy said, hoping that her emotions weren't audible in her voice. ''And you're not even sleeping with her at all.''

''She told you that, huh?'' He asked.  
''No, I just guessed,'' Andy said sarcastically. ''Yes, she told me. It kind of surprised me, you never struck me as the kind of person who would volunteer to be celibate, and I thought I knew you pretty well.''

''It's only for five months,'' Milo shrugged. ''If I can't even last that long…''  
Andy wasn't sure what to say. ''Don't you miss it?'' He didn't answer. ''You know, having sex in your car 'cause you can't wait until you get home. Having sex on your desk in your office, against the wall in the hallway of your apartment… Buying a book with sex positions and trying them all.''

It was mostly just recounting what the two of them had done, she didn't actually know what Milo and Sandra did in bed together nor did she want to know, but seeing Milo's reaction made it worth it. She could see him shift in the chair, trying to hide his erection. If that did it for him it really had been too long.

''Sandra is not really like that,'' he admitted, clearly uncomfortable. ''Well, how about you?'' He asked, turning it around to hopefully get the focus off himself.  
''What about me?'' Andy asked as she sat back with a smile.  
''You're not seeing anyone are you?'' He asked. He knew that she and Lu hadn't slept together in months- and he had been more than glad when he heard that news- but he didn't know what she had been up to since then.

For a second she considered telling him about her and Nick, but it didn't seem worth it. ''No, I'm not,'' she lied, knowing that one way or another it would eventually come back to haunt her. ''I'm still looking for 'the one','' an even bigger lie, she knew who the one was and he was sitting right next to her, ''something like you and Sandra have.'' That hurt to say.

''She's great, isn't she?'' He smiled, looking over at her. ''So what do you think of her, honestly?'' Milo asked.  
She hesitated for a second. ''Seems nice, very bubbly. Very talkative,'' Andy said, ''probably never stops talking.''  
''Sounds about right,'' Milo commented as he got up.

''She said you two are getting married in June,'' Andy said, Milo turned around to look at her.  
''Yeah?''  
''We were together for two and a half years,'' Andy said. ''You started dating her not a month after we broke up, engaged six months later…'' She looked at Milo questioningly, he was standing at the railing with his hands in his pockets.

He shrugged, ''when you know you know.''


	12. The Nuptials

Some good old-fashioned smut at the end.

* * *

 **—The Nuptials—**

* * *

6 hours was all that she had left. 360 minutes until the love of her life would be married to another woman.

Andy had been debating going into his office for the past five minutes she'd been standing outside his door, and for hours- days even- before that. She knew he was in there; it would be so easy to go inside and talk to him—tell him how she felt before he was married. He wasn't the kind of person who wouldn't do anything to make his marriage work, once that ring was on his finger the door on their getting back together would close forever.

''You can go in if you want,'' Claudia- the cardiology department's secretary- said to Andy, ''he doesn't have any appointments.''

Now she had to go in. If she didn't Claudia would still tell him she had been there, and if she had to explain what she had come there to do _after_ his wedding... Andy took a deep breath and raised her fist to knock on the solid oak door. Hearing him call her in she gingerly opened the door, unsure of how he would receive her.

He looked surprised to see her there, a mountain of paperwork stacked in front of him. ''Catching up on patient files?'' Andy asked. He nodded. ''Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?''  
''We're leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow morning, I need to finish this before then,'' he said, writing as quickly as he could. He was sitting on one of the couches in his office, the same one where they had had their ''first date''.

Andy remembered them working together on a patient and watching a video about a new procedure on that very couch. She couldn't have imagined back then what would follow. Not their relationship and definitely not their break-up.

''All set for the wedding?'' She asked, closing the door behind her.  
''You'd have to ask Sandra,'' he said, ''she has taken charge of all of that, all I have to do is make sure I'm there at 2 p.m. in a tux.''

''I've never known you to be this hands-off about anything,'' she commented, sitting down on the couch, facing him.  
He shrugged; clearly he didn't feel like elaborating. He looked up at her for a brief second. ''What are you doing here, Andy?''

Andy was sure he didn't mean it to come out as harsh as it did, but the choice of words combined with how cold he could be... She shifted in her seat. Laying bare all her feelings wasn't the way to go about this, she knew that, but with 358 minutes to go her options were limited.

Milo peered at her over his glasses, putting down the patient file. ''Do I want to know why you're here?'' He asked, looking right through her.  
She bit her lip; he was looking at her far too intently for her to dismiss it now. ''You know why I'm here,'' she said.

''I was hoping it was just because you wanted to change your choice from chicken to fish,'' he said as he got up. He was rummaging through his desk, obviously looking for something.  
''I don't,'' Andy said, ''although I have been wondering for a while why you invited me to your wedding.''

''It's Sandra's doing,'' Milo said, ''she apparently really enjoyed the talk you two had at Bob's cabin.''  
''And she still doesn't know about us,'' Andy said, guessing. If he hadn't told Sandra before then she was sure he had found no reason to share that with Sandra since then.  
''No she does not,'' Milo said.

''Do you want me to be there?'' Andy asked, completely disregarding the fact that she had already RSVPd yes.  
''I was hoping you wouldn't come,'' Milo said honestly.  
It hurt to hear but she wasn't surprised. ''I felt that might raise a red flag. There's no way Sandra is going to just let that go.'' He agreed. ''I can't say that I'm looking forward to watching you marry her.''

''Which is why I hoped you wouldn't be there,'' he said, ''having you be there as a reminder of how terribly some relationships can end.'' He was back to his old cold self, seemingly pissed off.  
She sat back against the couch cushion, starting to get a bit riled up as well. ''That hurt.''

''Well how do you think I feel?'' Milo asked. ''I was going to marry you, and now-''  
''What are you talking about?''  
He looked at her like he was surprised she didn't get it. ''I bought a ring. I asked Jesse and Lizzy for permission, I wrote a speech, I made dinner reservations...''

''I had no idea,'' Andy said quietly.  
''When I marry Sandra I don't want to be reminded of what we had, or how it ended,'' Milo said. ''I don't want to think about how every moan drifting through the wall put another nail in the coffin that was our relationship.'' He sat back across from her, picking up his patient file with a new pen in his hand.

She looked at him silently. ''It wasn't always like that.''  
''No, but I don't want to think of how it was, when were together—it was so good,'' Milo said, ''and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it, but it's in the past and I need to move on.''

''You don't have to marry Sandra for that,'' Andy told him. He looked up, clearly unhappy with her lack of support. ''You can move on without jumping into a different relationship, let alone marriage.''  
He threw his file down on the coffee table between them. ''Why can't you just be happy for me?''

''Well, sorry if it's difficult for me to see you with someone else,'' Andy said. She didn't feel like fighting. ''Sandra is great, and I'm happy that you're happy, I just wish things had gone differently.''

''Me too.''

* * *

There were three bridesmaids, walking down the aisle in a straight line in their matching blue dresses, but Andy didn't see it. She didn't see anything other than dark brown eyes showing a hundred different mixed emotions in them.

Milo had taken his position at the altar, had looked through the crowd and his eyes had landed on her. Somehow, she still wasn't sure how, she had ended up on Sandra's side of the church, in Milo's direct eye-line. They were almost a 100 feet away from the other, but their eyes were locked on each other. Andy was aware that she was staring but it was difficult to look away.

Andy could feel Lu nudge her in the side, and she looked at her, finally breaking away from Milo. ''Could you two stop staring at each other for five minutes so he can get married?'' She asked. She had no doubt in her mind that Milo still had feelings for Andy but as his friend she wanted to be supportive now. He had talked to Andy that morning and clearly he had made up his mind or he wouldn't be here.

Traditional wedding music started playing and Andy turned towards the entrance to the church to see Sandra come in on her father's arm. She could feel Milo's eyes on her and turned to look back at him, and all she wanted to do was disappear forever.

Most of the wedding was hazy to her. She remembered the part where it was asked if anyone had objections to the union, and she would've said something if Milo didn't know how she felt. But he did. He knew perfectly well how she felt and he was standing there anyway, throwing a glance at her every few seconds.

Andy vaguely recalled hearing his vows, watched him slip a ring on Sandra's finger and then… the gold ring on his finger sealing the deal. Their kiss was barely a second longer than a peck, and then- her beaming and him with not quite a full smile- they walked back up the aisle again, his eyes searching the crowd for hers. With their eyes on each other it felt like she was standing next to him, like it was her he had just married, except her heart was broken.

She could feel Lu's hand on her own, offering the slightest bit of support.

* * *

Even Andy had to admit that Sandra had put together a beautiful wedding. The reception was held at a hotel, mostly outdoors in the garden. It being well put together didn't change Andy's feelings though. She wished she wasn't at the wedding, she wish he hadn't married Sandra; she wished she had made different choices in their relationship.

Lu was there to try to cheer her up but she only served as a reminder of how it had all fallen apart. Andy couldn't blame her though, she knew it had been her own doing that had led to this, and she couldn't exactly blame Milo either for wanting to move on.

She had just never fully realized that he would do this. That he would move on this quickly, and actually go through with the wedding. A small part of her had still expected something to throw a wrench in his plans, forcing him to call the whole thing off. A small part had still hoped for the fairytale ending where halfway through the wedding he would realize it was all a big mistake, leave Sandra at the altar and run off with her.

Andy was usually far more grounded than this, painfully realistic with her expectations, but when it came to Milo that all went out the window. It had taken a while but he had looked away from her, his eyes had stopped searching for her, he was focused on Sandra again. Even that little thing, his eyes looking at her, had been better than nothing, even if it had hurt.

Because it had hurt. He had been looking at her. He had given himself reminders that she was there, with full knowledge of everything that had transpired between them, their full history, and he had been able to go through with the wedding. If he had not even looked at her, she would be able to convince herself that he had forgotten. That he had gotten caught up in the moment and had forgotten what he could have with her.

Clearly he hadn't forgotten. Andy hadn't brought a date to the wedding and Jonas was out of town on a business trip so Lu had come alone as well. They danced together for most of the evening, and Andy could see how unhappy Milo was about it. Every once in a while Andy's eyes would travel back to his and he didn't even try to hide his feelings.

It wasn't even that she wanted to try to tick him off, but knowing that she could still get to him like this was at least something. She had made it clear how she still felt towards him, and if she could get this kind of reaction out of him then that meant he still had some feelings for her- or about the two of them as a couple- at least.

She was coming out of the bathroom when Nick cornered her; clearly he had had quite a bit to drink as well. His playfulness toward her was a more than welcome distraction from Milo—and even Lu if she was being completely honest.

They still weren't anything more than just 'something', and she had planned on being more discrete than this, but he was planting butterfly kisses on her cheek, her neck… she couldn't help but giggle.

Which was the exact moment Milo exited the men's bathroom. Over Nick's shoulder she could see Milo's smile at someone else in the hallway change to anger when his eyes landed on her and Nick. The sight of them standing close together, clearly very comfortable with each other, being affectionate to each other…

Andy could see it got to him. Part of her considered pushing Nick away, she didn't want Milo to think this was anything more than it was, but what would be the point? It wasn't as if pushing Nick away would get Milo to rethink marrying Sandra. What was there to lose, really?

He threw them one last look before leaving, heading back outside to his bride.

* * *

Every single time she thought the exact same thing: 'what the hell am I doing?'.

It always started out the same, it seemed. The first time he had offered to let her sleep on his couch so she had a place to crash after a hospital fundraiser, _and one thing had led to another_. The second time he had given her one simple look which- if it hadn't been for their first time together- would've meant nothing, _and one thing led to another_.

It always seemed to lead from one thing to another. They had had an actual deep conversation, sort of rare for the two of them, and one thing had led to yet another. And each time she wondered what she was doing. What she, Andy Campbell, was doing sleeping with Nick Biancavilla.

Sure, she had once described him as 'hotter than a Texas summer' to one of her patients, which had been more than a little embarrassing when he had found out, but she had still never pictured herself being with him.

The past few months there had been plenty of different reasons why she had gone over to his apartment, and Milo marrying Sandra had been as good as any of the other reasons. It wasn't exactly the reason though. It hadn't been loneliness that had driven her into the Italian doctor's arms though, it had been pure horniness.

Each time she vowed it would be the last time, but then she wound up with an itch she just couldn't scratch by herself, and she was right back in his bed. It was always _his_ bed; no way would she bring him over to her own house. No way would she risk her daughters finding out about this. No way would she risk anyone finding out about this.

It had been painful enough when people had found out about what she and Lu had done. When her relationship with Milo ended everybody knew why. The stares, the painful silences, the awkwardness, she wasn't going to risk that happening again.

The way Nick had always looked at her, his playful winks, and the jabs at her love life. She had always suspected there was something behind it all. It hadn't been until he had joked about Lu being 'her lesbian lover' that she had questioned it though, she vaguely remembered his mumbles about 'a lady in the street, a freak between the sheets' that she seriously considered doing anything with him.

So here she was. Again. She could feel him thrusting up against her, his hand pulling her face down to his own until their lips met. The kisses were meh. Not that he wasn't a good kisser, it just felt like such an intimate act compared to everything else they did, she couldn't enjoy it as much. The sex more than made up for it though. She wasn't surprised. He was notorious for his skirt-chasing abilities. He had had more than enough practice.

He always made sure she came. His dick felt like it was made specifically for her. He was adventurous without making her feel like he was constantly wanting her to do new things. He liked cuddling afterwards. He was discrete about their arrangement, it was perfect.

He flipped them over. Her legs hooked behind him, his hands holding on to the headboard. One of his hands let go of the dark wood and grabbed her leg, pushing it up higher, changing the angle. That was what she liked about him. He knew how to make amazing sex even better, and didn't hesitate to do exactly what was needed.

She could feel the heat in her lower belly, her thighs shaking, her mouth trying to form words to encourage him to keep going as long as he could, when the sound of the front door crashed her orgasm almost as soon as it had begun.

''Nick, you here?'' She could hear the familiar voice of Peter Riggs from somewhere on the other side of the apartment. Keys being thrown in a bowl, footsteps coming closer. The sound of the headboard thumping against the wall, as Nick didn't pause for a second. She could see on his face that he was just seconds away, too late to stop. She could feel him tense up, his face scrunched up, before falling down on top of her.

She grabbed the pillow from the other side of the bed, hiding her face right before Peter opened the door. He either hadn't heard the bed rocking, or he didn't care. She could feel Nick's hand landing on her stomach, making its way down until he was rubbing her clit. She wanted to push him away but she knew it would just draw more attention to her.

''Didn't mean to disturb,'' Peter said, hanging back in the doorway. He could see a strand of brown hair coming from under a pillow, Nick's face beaming back at him in post-orgasm glow.  
''It's fine, you need anything?'' Nick asked, acting almost too casual. It made her think that perhaps this wasn't the first time Peter had walked in on Nick.

''I was just coming over to pick up the clothes I left here the other day,'' Peter said.  
She wanted to yell at him to leave. Her toes curled, dragging the sheets with her as she pulled her knees up and suppressed a moan. His fingers were magical, and he had been a quick learner of exactly what she liked. She was still trying to figure him out, she felt like he was holding back as if afraid of scaring her off.

Her hands gripped the pillow on her face tighter, a moan slipping out. She was almost too sensitive, this new orgasm just building up from the previous- rather disappointing- one.  
''Is that…''? He didn't have to finish his question for her to know what he meant. She knew Peter and Nick were best friends, but she hadn't thought about the possibility that Nick would tell him.

''Yes.'' Nick thought for a second. ''You wanna join?''  
She had been so close when he said this, it wasn't even funny. He had already ruined one orgasm and now this one was blown as well. ''Excuse me?'' She asked, pushing the pillow to the side a bit, still obscuring her face from Peter.

''It'll be fun,'' Nick assured her before turning back to Peter. It wasn't often that she was really, truly flabbergasted, but this did it.  
Peter had a 'why not?' look on his face, ''sure. I'm gonna take a shower, I'll be back in a minute.''

As soon as the door closed she threw the pillow to the other side of the room, '''you wanna join?' Seriously?'' She repeated the first part in Nick's voice. They had barely discussed the fact that they were sleeping together, let alone adding a third person.

''Relax,'' Nick pulled her closer to him, burying his face in her neck. ''We have done this before. And if you don't want to do this just say so, he won't be back for a few minutes.''  
''I don't think we should do this,'' she told him.  
''He won't be back for a few minutes,'' Nick repeated. ''Take all of them to think about it.''

''Nick…''  
''Trust me, you'll love it,'' he said. ''He knows what he's doing. We can always just try and if you decide you want to stop just say so.'' He sat up against the headboard and pulled her into his lap, he could see the hesitation on her face, ''just say the word and I'll tell him to leave as soon as he comes back.''

She didn't say anything. She was nervous but intrigued, having never done this before. She had never been particularly close with Nick nor Peter, but she trusted them with her life. Peter was the definition of a kind spirit who would never hurt a fly, and she had no doubt she was safe with him. If she was ever going to do this, was there really a better time than the present?

Nick smiled at her, drawing her in for another kiss. ''You know the codeword system, right?''  
''Huh?'' She could feel him grow hard again under her.  
''Y'know, say 'orange' to stop and change things, and 'red' to stop altogether,'' he said. She nodded. ''So…?''

She took a deep breath, ''okay.''  
''Yes?'' He asked. She hesitantly nodded, which wasn't entirely satisfactory for him, ''if you have doubts-''  
''No, let's do this.'' She sounded more sure of herself than she was, and she was nervous as all hell, but she was excited to give it a try. ''What now?''

Nick grabbed his dick, rubbing it against her slit a few times before lining it up against her entrance. She sank down on him. Following his lead seemed like the wisest thing to do. With one hand she held onto the headboard, needing it for balance, her other hand moving down to her clit. She had just begun rocking against Nick when the door opened again, and she couldn't go on.

It was easier in theory, when she was just talking about it with Nick, now seeing Peter stand there- naked- it was a different story. She couldn't help but stop in her tracks. She swallowed hard at the sight of him, there was still water dripping off of him, his washboard abs more impressive than they had been in certain dreams she had had, his dick standing at full attention.

He looked back and forth between her and Nick. ''We doing this?''  
She was aware they were both looking at her, her eyes glued to Peter. ''Yeah,'' was all she managed to get out. It took a few seconds before she realized she had been staring at his dick. She could feel the heat coming up to her cheeks, looking away embarrassed.

Her eyes met Nick's and he smirked at her. He leaned in, his lips near her ear, ''you seem to be enjoying yourself,'' he said.  
She gave him a look, but was secretly glad for it. Nick talking to her made it easier for her to focus on him, instead of the bed dipping down behind her as Peter climbed in. Her knees were on either side of Nick's stretched out legs, and it looked like Peter was going to assume the same position behind her.

She could feel her heart racing and thought about how just 15 minutes earlier she could have never imagined anything like this happening. She was married to Les for 20 years, and it wasn't that she was a prude or anything but just being with the one guy had always been fine with her. She had never felt like she was missing out on anything, never wondered what it would be like with someone else.

Now she had had a long term relationship with Milo, she had had a purely sexual relationship with Lu for months- over a year actually if you counted the first time- and now she was about to be a part of her first three-way.

She could feel Peter's hands on her back, softly stroking before massaging her shoulders. Her eyes were glued to Nick's, scared to move and do the wrong thing. Two of her fingers were still on her clit but no longer moving. Her whole body seemed frozen under his touch.

''Dr. C….'' Peter started and Nick laughed. ''Andy,'' he corrected himself, ''I can call you Andy right? Just tonight?'' He asked and she gave a slight nod. ''You need to breathe.'' He told her, she hadn't even realized she had been holding it in until then, but wasn't surprised.

Forcing herself to take a few deep breaths she could feel her body begin to relax. He reached over to the bedside table, getting a small bottle of massage oil from it; she didn't want to know how he knew it was there. She knew the two were best friends but she had never thought about how close their relationship might be.

His hands seemed to be all over her, massaging every single part of her back, she could feel a part of him press up against her as he brought his lips to her ear, ''kiss him,'' he told her. Nick looked at her expectantly; he hadn't heard what Peter had said. She leaned in, their lips connecting. Where before she had shied away from deepening their kisses all that much, she decided not to hold back this time.

Their tongues battled with each other. Peter moved his hands around her, touching her belly. The unexpected hand there caused her body to twitch; a small groan came from Nick. Her hand was resting against his pubic bone and she softly stroked the base of his dick, too afraid to move much else of herself.

Peter's hand clasped over her wrist, pulling her hand away and putting it down on Nick's shoulder instead. She looked at him; his eyes confirmed that the way Peter was taking control was normal for him. He took one of his Nick's hands and put it down on her breast, where he immediately began to play with her nipple, his other hand seemingly automatically coming up to her face, drawing her face in to resume kissing.

She could feel Peter's hands on her hips, softly kneading at the flesh there- making her feel even more self-conscious- before guiding her to move. Her hand gripped the headboard even tighter. Her body was shaking with the sensation of it all, shaking in anticipation of what more was to come. One of his hands kept guiding his movement as the other one snuck around and started rubbing her clit.

She moaned into Nick's mouth. She knew what she liked, she knew some of what Nick liked, but the pace Peter was setting wasn't it. It was agonizingly slow. She let out a frustrated groan, trying to get him to let go. He didn't. He pushed her forward a bit, changing the angle of penetration, and on the next stroke she could feel Nick hit just the right spot. Her head rested against the side of Nick's head, her face scrunched up.

She could feel the orgasm start to build inside her, and apparently Peter could too as he withdrew his hand. She could feel him press up against her more as he kissed Nick. She had learned not to be surprised by the two of them anymore. She could feel the orgasm disappear again, slipping away from her, and Peter continued slowly rubbing circles around her clit again.

He continued this act for a while. Building her up until she could almost taste how close she was, and then stop again. Only to start back up when it had completely disappeared. Each time the heat seemed to be hotter, and when he once again took his hand away she spoke up. ''Could you not?'' She asked between groans.

He chuckled at her. ''Be patient,'' he said. She could hear him kiss Nick again and she snuck her own hand down between her legs. He grabbed her wrist, moving her hand away without another word. She felt like a little kid being scolded for playing with its favorite toy.

He moved her hand to her breast, ''play with that,'' he whispered to her. It's not that she had never come from nipple play; it was more that it wasn't as good. Still, it was better than nothing. After a little while she could feel him move his hand down again, and she almost had the urge to just push him away. It was torture when he stopped. Every time he started again she seemed to be more sensitive, it was bordering on too sensitive now.

She tried to push herself against his hand, but his grip on her hip was too tight. ''Riggs…'' it came out like a moan. She could feel the heat start in her belly before taking over her whole body. Her nails dug into Nick's shoulder and if she had been able to form a coherent thought she would've wished for him to drag his nails over her as well. The pain would've mixed with the pleasure well.

This time he didn't stop. He had set a good tempo, his lips were sucking on her neck, one of Nick's hands was still playing with her nipple. It was a lethal combination. Her entire body came apart, wave after wave crashing down over her. She couldn't even moan anymore. For a brief moment she forgot where she was, couldn't even remember Peter and Nick. The way she clenched around Nick only added to the sensations.

It seemed like an eternity before she started to come down. She picked her head up from Nick's shoulder, looking at him through hooded eyes. She could feel Peter drag a finger up from her clit- leaving a trail of wetness- to her throat, wrapping his hand around it. He pulled her towards himself- her body flush against his- kissing her hard.

His lips were chapped, not nearly as soft as Nick's. She kissed him hungrily; now that she knew what he could do she wanted more. He bit her lip; the feeling of pain wasn't entirely unwelcome. He had let go of her hip and she gently tried to move against Nick, but even slight movement seemed too much.

Peter dragged his nails over her ass, slightly harder than he would if he was just teasing her. She tried not to pay mind to how good it felt. He started at the underside, dragging his nails up until he was almost at her back, and then slapped the cheek roughly. She let out a shriek, not expecting it. She wanted to turn around, look at Peter, ask him what the hell he was doing; but Nick turned her head towards himself. She stared at him, a look of disbelief on her face.

''I talked to Milo a little while ago,'' Peter told her as he dragged his nails up the other ass-cheek, giving it a slap as well. ''He was very drunk, lamenting about how he missed you. Talked about how good you were. Talked about how you apparently don't mind a good spanking.'' Another slap. She whimpered, but could feel the wetness dripping down her inner thigh. Even if she wanted to pretend she didn't like it, her body was betraying her.

''He told me,'' Peter said, his nails dragging over the other cheek again. She involuntarily angled her ass towards him, waiting for the next slap and moaning when it came. ''That a good spanking, combined with some good fucking,'' again repeating it on the other cheek, ''can even make you squirt.''

She could feel her entire body getting warm, redness creeping up. She had never expected Milo to share such personal details. He was all about discreteness, keeping a secret had never been a problem, and she had assumed their sex-life was no different.

He pulled her closer to him, his fingers pulled at her nipple a few times before he again moved his hand to her neck, this time squeezing slightly before he continued speaking. ''I want you,'' she could feel Nick run his hands over her, causing goose bumps to form all over, ''to drench this bed.'' She could still feel the sting on her ass. Even though they had so far made this entirely about her she still wanted to please them, but she had only squirted once, and didn't expect it to ever happen again.

Tears were forming in her eyes, but no matter how much she tried to hold them back they fell anyway. It took a few seconds for Nick to notice. He looked at her alarmed. ''Stop,'' he said, his eyes remaining on her even though the words were meant for Peter.

''Hmm?'' Peter asked. He could only assume Andy had done something that he had missed.  
Nick looked over at Peter, repeating the word stop before quickly looking back at Andy, ''are you okay?'' He asked, trying to make eye contact.

''I'm fine,'' she managed to get out.  
''Is it something I said?'' Peter asked, he had already taken his hand off her throat.  
Andy shook her head, ''no, it's fine.'' Truly, she didn't know what had caused her tears and she wanted to continue.

''Is it because he mentioned Milo?'' Nick asked, knowing that their break-up hadn't been easy. ''Do you want to talk about him?''

Andy took a deep breath. She looked up, blinking her tears away before looking back at Nick, dead in the eye. ''I want you to make me forget he exists.''


	13. The Claiming

A/N: Thanks to whoever reviewed, it's greatly appreciated!

* * *

 **—The Claiming** —

* * *

It seemed like forever before anyone moved. She was aware that Nick and Peter had been taken aback by what had just happened, but she just wanted to move on. She pushed her hair away from her face. One of her hands was on Nick's chest and she softly grinded against him, trying to spur him into action.

Peter had taken control before and she missed it now. She was about to look back at him when his lips landed on her neck, his hands stroked her belly before moving up, cupping one breast in each hand.

The slow pace they had now set had become somewhat foreign to her.

It hadn't been as if she and Milo had been in the habit of 'making love' whatever that might entail. It was usually too rough to call it that, and it had become even more like that after he had watched her and Lu together. With Lu it was usually them both saying that it was the last time they were going to do this, only for it to build up for a while until they were frantically pulling at each other's clothes rushing through the whole thing.

The last few times with her had been almost loving though, and that had partially been why Andy had decided to call it off. It had never been the intention to be more than a friendship kind of love. It's why she enjoyed Nick so much; neither of them cared to go into the emotional side of things. Every few weeks- sometimes a bit more often- they just used each other for release. She didn't spend the night, he didn't make her breakfast.

They went at it for a while, he smoked him metaphorical cigarette, and she slipped out in time to chastise her youngest daughter for sneaking a comic book and flashlight into bed. It was perfect.

But now. The slow pace, the way they held eye-contact, Peter's lips on her neck, Nick softly touching her... It wasn't exactly what she had bargained for, but it felt good enough that it was difficult to form the words to tell them to change things up.

Peter moved his hands away- she immediately missed the sensation but feeling his hands on her ass wasn't bad either. She already gritted her teeth, expecting another slap. He massaged the red skin there and she could see the look on Nick's face change. She frowned at him, unsure of what his face was trying to tell her.

She could see Peter going for the bedside table again but Nick was quick to intervene, turning her head away to look back at him. He pulled her closer, his lips close to her ear- his hot breathe tickling her- ''just remember, if you want us to stop you can say so at anytime,'' he whispered.

Feeling his warm body pressed up against her own made her head fuzzy. It didn't happen enough that they were this close and she had missed the sensation. There was no reason not to trust them. They had stopped to question if she was okay even when she wanted them to continue, if she hadn't trusted them before that she certainly did now. She swallowed hard, ''I know.''

* * *

She had been dreading this moment since the wedding. The moment Milo had seen her and Nick being flirty with each other—the exact moment he had seen actual proof that she was moving on from him, she had started dreading the moment they'd be face to face again.

It was early morning; the clinic wasn't even officially open yet. Lu and Lana had yet to come in, although Peter was around somewhere. Andy had decided to come back in early to catch up on some paperwork and get a head start on her patient load for the day—starting with one of her patients in the ICU. And now she was face-to-face with Milo, once again.

He had just come back from his honeymoon, and the fact that he had a nice tan told Andy that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't spent his whole honeymoon holed up in some hotel room with Sandra. It wasn't something she would admit to herself, and she would never admit to anyone else that that was her first thought upon seeing him again, but there it was.

Technically, she wasn't even the reason why he was in her office now—okay, yes because of her, but only because she had asked for a consult for one of her patients and Milo was simply the cardiologist who got the case. He had seemed cool and collected as he had walked up to her office- she didn't care if he knew that she watched him through the window- but all that had disappeared the moment he stepped foot in her office and the door swung close behind him.

''You and Biancavilla?'' He asked. His eyebrows were raised, one of his hands on his hip as he leaned against the door with is other hand.  
''Excuse me?'' She asked. She had seen this coming from miles away, and had mentally prepared herself for a million questions, but that didn't mean she wanted to talk about this.

''Don't pretend like I didn't see you two making out,'' he said, finding her absolutely insufferable when she feigned not knowing what he was talking about. ''At my wedding...''  
''First of all, we weren't making out, barely kissing,'' she argued, ignoring the fact that he was rolling his eyes at her- skipping the point completely, ''and second of all, you are married now so why do you-''

''Are you two sleeping together?'' He asked, ignoring her little rant.  
She looked at him in shock, both appalled by the fact that he would ask that and for having doubt about the fact that they were, ''that is, definitely, none of your business.''

''So, yes?'' He asked, watching her intently.  
She stood up from her desk chair, shuffling the files on her desk around, looking for Lydia Patterson's- the patient she had referred- file. They both knew what her silence meant.

''I can't believe you,'' he said. She looked back at him for a second but didn't bother to voice her confusion. ''You know, you can sleep with all of Philly- and it sounds like you're attempting to- but it doesn't change the facts.''

Her disbelief was evident on her face; Andy hadn't expected him to ever speak to her like that. ''I don't want you to speak to me like that,'' she said, grabbing the file and getting ready to leave with him to his department. ''Besides, what facts?''

Milo could see her firm steps- the most confident aspect of her demeanor at the moment- coming towards him, but he kept his position, effectively blocking the door. ''You're mine,'' he said.  
Andy took a step back, sure she had misheard him. ''Excuse me?''

''You're mine.''  
''I'm yours?''  
He took a step towards her, prompting her to do the same, until the moment she bumped into her desk. He stood not a foot away from her, his hands in his pockets. ''Don't act like you don't remember that night in the car.''

''That was over a year and a half ago,'' Andy reminded him, although she was sure he remembered the exact date. ''Plus, we broke up—plus, you married someone else... need I go on?'' She was both surprised by his words, as well as a little turned on. His possessiveness of her had always been a bit of a turn on.

''I don't care,'' he said. ''You'll always be mine.''  
He was closer than she had wanted to him, and she was starting to get ticked off. ''I'm not,'' she repeated. ''If you want to go be weird and possessive with someone, why not do it with your wife?''

He shrugged, ''she's not really into this, she's a bit of a bore when it comes to sex,'' he said simply.  
She raised her eyebrows at him, ''you wouldn't ever cheat on her, right?'' There was a hesitation before he responded affirmatively. ''But when you can't get your rocks off at home, you decide to go to me, criticize who I am and am not sleeping with, and then claim ownership over me?''

''I'm not here to criticize anyone,'' he said.  
''Well, then why are you here? What do you want from me?'' She looked at him expectantly. ''Do you want me to talk about how I couldn't sit comfortably for weeks after our last time together? Do you want me to tell you all the stuff Lu and I did?'' She took the smallest step closer to him; effectively eliminating the distance there was between them. ''Do you want me to tell you how many times Nick made me come last week?''

''Andy…''  
''Seven times,'' she said.  
Milo scoffed, ''we both know I could shatter that record.''

''I'm sure you could,'' Andy said, ''but you married someone else, so looks like we'll never find out.''

The door swung open, revealing Peter Riggs' face. ''Dr. C., here are those test results you asked for,'' he said, handing her a manila file, trying to ignore the energy in the room, trying to ignore how close Andy and Milo were standing to each other. It wasn't hard to guess what they'd been talking about. ''Dr. Morton,'' he acknowledged before slipping out.

Andy took one quick glance at the name on the file, and threw it on the desk behind her. ''He joined us,'' she said.  
Milo looked back at Peter through the window before back at Andy, ''Peter Riggs?''

''Peter, Nick, and I, together,'' she said, seeing that it got a rise out of him. ''Touching everywhere,'' her hands roamed over his chest, ignoring the look in his eyes. ''Me moaning their names,'' she whispered in his ear as she undid the top-button on his shirt, ignoring the tent forming in his slacks. ''Looks like you're not the only one that got laid on your wedding night,'' she said, pushing him away the slightest bit.

She turned her back towards him, somewhat pleased that her words had had the desired effect. His face said he was pissed off, but his dick was telling a different story. ''One could argue they're better in bed than you,'' she said.

Andy couldn't say that this had been her goal, or even that she had expected this, but when it happened she wasn't completely surprised. His hand on her back, pushing her face-down on the desk, kicking her legs trying to get her to part them—which she did, seemingly automatically. Her hair was tangled in his hand as he kept it on the back of her neck, keeping her down. His other hand was trying to simultaneously hike her skirt up and pull his zipper down.

She would never say he was anything less than brilliant, but horniness didn't help his case. She could feel him push against her, and though she was trying to enjoy it, logic got the better of her. ''Milo, stop,'' it was quietly enough that she wasn't sure he would hear her, ''red.''

And just like that his hands were gone. She turned around, sitting down on the desk, trying to regain her composure. He was standing a few feet away, his back turned towards her as he ran his hands over his head. His usually calm demeanor had completely disappeared.

Andy crossed her legs, trying to let what had just happened sink in. Milo turned around to look at her, but she couldn't meet his gaze. ''I'm sorry,'' they said for completely different reasons at the exact same time. Milo was the first to elaborate, ''I shouldn't have done that, it was completely inappropriate.''

She nodded in agreement, ''I shouldn't have said those things about… Nick, and Peter…'' She truly was sorry, but she was too shaken up for it to sound genuine. ''I didn't think you would react like that,'' she said, ''think of how it would affect Sandra if she found out.''

He let out a sigh, ''I didn't think it through. I mean, you didn't seem to have a problem when it came to Lu, I guess I just thought…''  
Andy chose her words carefully, ''I'd like to think I'm not the kind of person who would cheat, although that has become kind of a weak standpoint considering everything that has happened. But you are not,'' she said, ''the kind of person who cheats, Milo.''

He nodded slowly, ''Sandra and I haven't had sex since we got engaged.''  
Andy looked at him confused, ''you're newlyweds, you were just on your honeymoon, what have you been doing all week?''

''We hiked a lot,'' Milo said as he sat down. ''We were going to wait until we got married, then on our wedding night we were both exhausted, and ever since she keeps blowing me off.''  
''Not the kind of blowing you were expecting, eh?'' Andy asked jokingly- before cringing- as she sat down as well. ''Maybe you should talk to her about it before…'' she motioned to her desk, referring to what had happened minutes before.

''Don't you think I tried that?'' He asked. He looked exasperated. ''Even before we got engaged, when we did have sex, I mean, it wasn't spectacular or anything but it was good—it was fine,'' he said.  
''From good to just fine in not a second,'' Andy commented.  
''It wasn't anything like what we had,'' Milo said, pausing. ''And now she doesn't want anything at all.''

Andy bit her lip, ''I don't know what to tell you.''  
''Don't get me wrong,'' Milo- the man she never expected to see ramble- rambled on, ''I wish I could say it wasn't important to me, and I'm giving her all the space she wants, but I can't lie and say that I don't care about that aspect of our relationship.''

Andy frowned, ''you're not going to leave her over this are you?'' Sure that he wasn't that shallow.  
''Of course not,'' Milo said, shocked she'd even ask. ''I'm committed to her, I'm not going to leave her, and especially not over something like this.''

''Would you have left me?'' She asked. ''If I hadn't slept with you, or if it wasn't good.''  
''Don't be ridiculous,'' Milo said, ''it's you. Plus, there were never any complains in that area between us, at least not coming from me, not until there was someone else in bed with us.''

She didn't need the reminder, but she noticed that Milo didn't seem hurt when he brought it up this time. ''Do you ever think about that?''  
''Now that I'm not getting any at home I think about it a lot,'' Milo said honestly.  
''Do you think you could ever forgive me?''

''Maybe one day you'll find a way to make it up to me,'' he said with a wink.  
She could see a small grin on his face, mostly obscured by the fact that he was now looking down. ''I don't think I want to know what you have in mind,'' she said and he chuckled. ''I'm just glad things aren't as weird between us anymore.''

''And that we never ended up throwing sponges at each other across the OR?'' He asked, recalling what she had said when they first started dating. He stood up, getting ready to leave. He had come in early to get work done, and now he'd been in Andy's office for almost half an hour without getting any work done.  
''That too,'' she said, getting up as well. ''Although there's still time for that.''

''Not a lot,'' Milo said under his breath, opening the door for her.  
''What's that?'' Andy asked.

He looked at her, wanting to see her face one more time before he would ruin their relationship again—just as he had done when they had broken up, when he had started dating Sandra, when he had gotten engaged, when he had gotten married. ''Sandra's company is transferring her to Seattle, we're moving in three weeks.''


	14. The Goodbye

**—The Goodbye—**

* * *

''You're Anna, aren't you?''

Andy looked up from the file in front of her. Sandra was standing in the doorway, looking slightly dishevelled which wasn't at all like her. Andy waved her in as she got up, motioning for Sandra to sit down. ''What are you talking about?''

''Milo's ex-girlfriend, Anna. It's you, isn't it?'' Sandra said. She sat down in one of the chairs, looking up at Andy who was leaning against her desk. She had prepared all these questions, had intended to tell Andy off for not telling her, but now her mind was drawing a blank. Tears had welled up in her eyes and all she wanted to do was leave.

Andy hesitated for a moment; she knew that Milo didn't want Sandra to know. ''I am,'' she said. If Sandra had already figured it out there was no point in hiding it anymore.

''How come you didn't tell me?'' Sandra asked. ''When we were alone at Dr. Jackson's cabin, you could have told me.''  
''It wasn't on me to tell you,'' Andy said. ''Milo and I broke up a long time ago; I didn't want to interfere in your relationship.'' She sat down next to Sandra, ''is it really that big a deal?''

''It wouldn't be if he had just told me, I just don't understand why he felt the need to lie,'' Sandra said. She took a deep breath, ''you don't know all the things he has told me about you guys' relationship. It sounded like he still had feelings, but since I thought he never saw her—you, anymore, it wasn't a problem.''

Andy wasn't sure what to say. On the one hand Milo still sometimes displayed feelings for her, but she had heard him talk about Sandra. It sounded like he really did love her, and the last thing she wanted to do was make him unhappy- even if that did mean ruining any possibility of them ever getting back together. Besides, that ship had sailed when he had gotten married.

''He has also told me about your relationship,'' Andy said. Sandra looked at her intently, wanting to know what he could have possibly said. ''He loves you, I can tell. He told me about how great he thinks you are, and when he talks about you he's constantly smiling.'' She didn't know if this kind of damage control was enough, but at the very least it was leaving out the times they had made out and the situation in her office three weeks prior.

And she wasn't even lying. As much as it hurt to admit, he really was constantly smiling when talking about Sandra and Andy knew he didn't take marriage lightly. Sandra seemed a bit calmer now. ''How did you find out?'' Andy asked.

Sandra shrugged. ''He has always talked about you a lot, during our whole relationship. And then he spent half our honeymoon talking about how he saw you and some other doctor together at our wedding... Not to mention he's been talking about you in his sleep,'' Sandra said, letting it all spill out.

Andy nodded, trying to encourage Sandra to go on. Milo had never been anything else than discrete but apparently he was slipping now.

''The similarity between your name and 'Anna'... it wasn't a difficult puzzle to solve.'' Sandra looked at Andy, unsure of what to say. ''Why didn't he just tell me?'' She asked. ''We didn't even talk to each other until we met at Dr. Jackson's cabin... it's not like we were going to gossip about him, or because it would be awkward for us to be together because you and I were friends or anything... I just don't understand.''

Andy shrugged, ''only he knows his reasoning.'' She said, ''Why didn't you ask him?''  
''If he goes through all these lengths—he even changed your name, why would I believe what he might say about your relationship?'' She looked away, ''so tell me.''

''What do you want to know?'' Andy asked, figuring it was too late to hide any of the mess anyway.  
''How long were you two together?'' Sandra asked. Andy opened her mouth to speak but Sandra didn't notice. ''Why did you break up? Do you guys still talk to each other? Is there still something there?... Is that why he hid it?''

Andy took a deep breath. ''We were together for 2 and a half years, and he broke up with me after I slept with someone else. We barely talk, except he told me that you two are moving to Seattle pretty soon?''

''Yes, we're leaving tomorrow actually,'' Sandra said. Andy nodded. ''So... the fourth question?''  
Andy frowned at her. ''Hmm?''

''Is there still something between you two?''

* * *

Andy ultimately decided not to go see Milo. It was his last day of work and despite knowing that there was a good chance they'd never see each other again once he got on that plane, she figured it was best to let it go. Milo hadn't reached out to her since their talk three weeks ago.

She knew that he had work until 6 and in her mind she was counting down the hours. At 7 pm all she could do was sit and try to ignore the hollow feeling in her chest. He was gone. She didn't know how long she sat there, just that it was getting late and she felt like she couldn't move. She never thought it would come to this. She didn't think he'd get married and she didn't think he'd actually move away.

There was a knock at the door. ''I thought I'd find you here,'' Lu said, stepping in and closing the door behind her. She knew what today was, it had been a few hours since she had said goodbye to Milo. She had seen him, watched him try to hide the fact that he was hurt that Andy hadn't come to say goodbye to him.

''He's really leaving isn't he?'' Andy asked, her arms folded across her chest.  
''Looks like it,'' Lu said, slipping into one of the chairs, watching Andy. ''He said you didn't come by.''  
''Why would I?''

Lu wasn't sure what to answer. ''He was packing his stuff when I came by, did you know he still had a picture of you and the girls in his office?''  
Andy looked at her, not sure if she believed it. It seemed to go against everything Milo had told her over the past year. ''He does?'' Lu nodded. ''This isn't helping.''

Lu smiled at her. She got up from her chair, getting Andy's coat off the hanger and taking her by the hand—pulling her out of the chair. ''I think I can find a way to take your mind off of this.''  
Andy looked down at their hands, now entwined. She thought she had noticed something different, and feeling the cold metal against her own finger confirmed it. Looking down at the ring she swallowed hard. ''What is that?''

Lu looked down as well; it wasn't what she wanted to talk about. ''It's nothing.'' Andy raised an eyebrow at her. ''Jonas slipped it on my finger while I was sleeping.''

''Which finger?'' Andy asked, trying to hide her feelings. Lu held up her left hand, showing her ring finger. ''What'd you say?'' She was happy for her, truly, but considering what Lu had just said it seemed like strange timing.

''He said to give my answer when he comes back from his business trip to Rio.'' She said. ''He's not coming back until Sunday.''  
Andy's mind raced, thinking back to the things that had happened between them previously when Jonas was away on business trips. ''You are going to say yes, aren't you?'' She asked, slipping her arms into her coat. She was glad to have her mind off Milo for a bit, even if she did still have somewhat conflicting feelings towards Lu.

''Ehh, I don't know,'' Lu said, walking ahead out of Andy's office. Andy threw her a look. ''We're from different worlds. I'm me… I prefer the little diner in the neighborhood, he goes to 1,000 dollar plate fundraisers…''

''You love him…'' Andy said.  
''I do,'' Lu said, clearly unsure of what she was going to say. ''I'll figure it out; let's not talk about this anymore.''

Andy put her hands up, ''okay.''  
''Why don't we get our minds off all this and have a girls' night?'' Lu suggested. She was following Andy out of the clinic, locking up behind them before leading them to the parking lot.

Andy could feel Lu's hand on the small of her back; it reminded her of the past. ''Lu…''  
''Andy?''  
''Are you sure you want to do that?'' She asked, leaning against her car. Lu was standing awfully close and Andy couldn't help but wonder what had happened to all the progress they had made over the past few months. Their friendship was back to normal, neither awkward silences nor stares.

''What Jonas doesn't know won't hurt him,'' Lu argued.

''He proposed to you, Lu. He knows what we did and he still proposed, I don't want you to put your marriage in jeopardy before it has even begun,'' Andy said.  
Lu stepped closer, putting her hand on Andy's cheek. ''Nobody will know.'' She leaned in, her lips brushing against Andy's.

Andy pushed Lu away ever so slightly. She didn't want to reject her but now wasn't the time. ''I need to clear my mind,'' she said. ''I'll call you later.''

* * *

Her car was winding up the road. She wasn't sure this was the right road at all, but it looked close enough. Her mind was racing, about Milo leaving, what had happened between her and Lu not twenty minutes before, and finally about what she and Milo had done a year and a half ago at the top of the mountain she was driving up on.

She pulled into the parking lot, and even though she was surprised to see Milo's car there she couldn't say it was an unwelcome surprise. She pulled up right next to him, but hesitated a moment before getting out of the car. ''Fancy seeing you here,'' she said, walking up to Milo who was sitting on the hood of his Benz.

He got up, surprised to see her there. ''What are you doing here?''  
She shrugged. ''Was thinking about you, and… I don't know. Being here makes me feel close to you,'' she said. There was a faint smile on his face. ''What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be home packing?''

''Probably.'' He said. He looked at her, surprised by her showing up at his favorite spot in Philly. ''I got to thinking about you,'' he said. ''Wishing I could go back to that night I took you here, I would've changed everything.''  
Andy took a deep breath. She had often wished for the same thing, especially since he had married Sandra. Speaking of Sandra… ''Sandra came to see me today,'' she said, Milo looked surprised. ''She knows we used to be together.''

''You told her?'' Milo asked, sounding not the least bit surprised.  
She shook her head. ''She figured it out herself. Something about the similarity between the name Anna and my name, plus some stuff you said apparently.''

''That does explain why she was mad at me when I got home…'' Milo said, leaning against the car. Sandra hadn't wanted to talk to him about what had made her so upset, but he hadn't cared. They were going to leave for Seattle in less than 24 hours, and he couldn't believe he was leaving his home behind.  
''She isn't particularly thrilled about the fact that you lied to her,'' Andy concurred. ''She just wanted to know if there was still something between us,'' Milo looked like he was going to say something but ultimately remained quiet. ''Probably glad that you guys are moving, that way we won't be around each other anymore.''

Milo let out a sigh, ''yeah, probably. What'd you tell her?''

''Nothing. Just reminded her that you're in love with her and that what happened between us is in the past,'' she said, ''that we have both moved on.''  
''Are you still…'' he hesitated, not knowing how to phrase his question, ''moving on—with Nick? And Peter.''  
Andy chuckled, surprised by the fact that she was surprised Milo would want to know. ''It's not as if I'm actually dating him, and what happened with Peter was a onetime thing, I didn't plan that. And I certainly never meant for you to find out.''

''Then why did you tell me?'' Milo asked.  
''I wanted to see how you would react after what you said, about me being yours,'' Andy said, recalling his actual response. ''I didn't think you'd push me against my desk or-'' Milo coughed, clearly uncomfortably. ''And I know you only did that because of how things were between you and Sandra then.''

''Right.''

They both remained quiet for a while. Andy walked over to him, leaning against the car next to him. ''I'm going to miss you,'' she said quietly. ''It's going to be weird not seeing you at the hospital.''  
''It's going to be weird not going there every day,'' Milo said, ''and not seeing you, and everybody else.''

They looked at each other, both wondering how much they should actually reveal—toeing the line.  
''I do hope that you find someone,'' Milo said, ''and I don't mean Biancavilla, he's not the guy for you.''  
''He's a good guy,'' Andy said, and she meant it. He wasn't actually marriage potential, at least not for her, but he was reliable. If she ever actually needed him there was no doubt in her mind he'd come through for her.

''He is. But Lu would be the right person for you before Biancavilla will ever be,'' Milo said.  
''Lu?''  
''Yes. I wasn't happy that you were together but I've seen worse matches.''

Andy nodded. She thought back to earlier that evening but decided it was best not to tell Milo. She crossed her arms. ''I hope that no matter what happens with Sandra you're happy,'' she said.

He looked surprised but tried to hide it, ''you do?''  
''Yeah. I've seen the way you look at her,'' Andy said. ''And it sounds like you really love her.'' With every word her voice got quieter.  
Milo smiled at her, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. She looked away from him and he hesitated a moment before reaching out to her.

She could feel him wrap his arms around her and in return did the same. She could feel his hot breath on her neck, breathing her in. Her heart was racing. It had been too long since they had been this close to each other.

It was different from what it was with Lu, as always. It wasn't the urge to kiss him, jump his bones. Not that she didn't want to do that. It was more wanting to stay in his arms forever. Have him tell her that he wasn't leaving, that this wasn't the last time she would feel him this close to her. She could feel him pull her closer and she wanted to always remain right there.

She didn't know how long they stood there. It wasn't until the sound of his cell phone ringing brought her out of her trance that she realized she maybe shouldn't be doing this.

He kissed her softly on the neck, and a small kiss on the cheek before pulling away. ''Morton,'' he picked up the phone. He had pulled away somewhat but still had an arm around her. Her head was leaning against his chest; his quick paced heartbeat matched her own. ''Yeah, I'll be home in a bit,'' he said before putting his phone away again. ''That was Sandra.''

''Figures.''  
''I have to go,'' he said, but made no effort to leave. He squeezed her tight one last time before letting go. He opened the car door but didn't get in just yet. He looked through the ground for a second, trying to gather his thoughts. ''I don't know what to say.''

She bit her lip, holding back her tears. She put one of her hands on his cheek, ''I love you,'' she said. If this was going to be her last chance then she needed to be honest with him. He opened his mouth but she cut him off. ''Don't say anything.''  
He stared at her for a few seconds before looking away. His eyes were on the view off the mountain as her eyes were on him.

The not even dozen seconds in which he got in his car and drove off were a blur to her. She stumbled back and sat down on the hood of her own car, letting the tears fall. It was a while before she got in and left as well, not even thinking about where she was going until she pulled up into Lu's driveway.

Her mind was telling her not to do this as she walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. She didn't even know what time it was but she was sure it was late. The sun had set a long time ago and the street was quiet, just some crickets making their presence known.

The door opened, revealing Lu in sweatpants and a shirt that was probably Jonas'. ''Andy?'' She sounded half asleep and yawned before opening the door a little further without further questioning. No words were exchanged between the two as they made their way upstairs and into the guestroom, lying down together.

There was no hint that what had happened earlier had actually transpired. There was no kissing, no hands underneath clothes. Lu handed Andy some random shirt and she threw it on before laying down next to Lu. Andy was wide awake, Lu's arms around her holding her close, with her fast asleep, but Andy couldn't seem to force her mind to go blank and drift off like she did so many other nights.

There was a faint green light coming from the alarm clock, some light coming in through the curtains. She didn't know what time it was when she finally drifted off, only remembering the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs waking her up. Andy looked over at the alarm clock; it was almost 3:30 in the morning.

Her mind raced, realizing it was probably Jonas. Jonas who would find that Lu wasn't asleep in their bed and would undoubtedly come looking for her. She had her fingers crossed hoping that Jonas would assume Lu had been paged to the hospital and just go to bed. The footsteps didn't head to their bedroom though; they headed straight to the door to the guestroom.

The door cracked open, and Andy could just barely make out a silhouette as it slipped into the room, light from the hallway falling on her face.

''Dr. Campbell?''

Andy let out a sigh of relief before reality sunk in. She recognized Marc's voice. She was sure that in a way it was better than Jonas finding them, but she wasn't sure how. She lifted Lu's arm off of herself and got up from under the covers, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

''What're you doing in bed with my mom?'' He asked, whispering. Lu seemed undisturbed by the whole thing.  
''I was just about to head out,'' Andy said, wanting nothing more than to change the topic. ''What brings you here?''

''I flew in from Arizona yesterday, went out with some of my boys. Figured I'd crash here,'' Marc said, ''ma gave me the key a while ago.''  
Andy nodded. She gathered her clothes from the chair in the corner of the room, heading to the bathroom. ''I'm going to go change,'' she said, noticing the confused look on his face, ''and then I'm heading out. Tell Lu I'll see her at work tomorrow.''

* * *

Andy was struggling to stay awake. Yawning while with patients wasn't the most professional look she aspired to achieve, and so for lunch a nap seemed like a better idea than heading to the cafeteria for a quick bite.

She hadn't spoken to Lu yet about Marc, although she was sure that their exchange had led to plenty of awkwardness this morning.

Her arms were folded on her desk, her head leaning on them. It wasn't nearly as a comfortable as an actual pillow but she was too tired to care. There was a knock at the door. It could only be Lana, whom she had firmly instructed to keep everybody out of her office until the very last second of her lunch break, after which she would be flooded with patients once again.

''Go away,'' she said, immediately chastising herself for sounding so annoyed. It was always her goal to keep her professional life separated from her personal life, but lately this seemed harder and harder to do. Still, Lana didn't deserve this.

Andy lifted her head from her desk, looking over at the secretary standing in the doorway. She ran a hand through her hair, sure she looked a mess. ''What is it?''  
''You said to keep everybody away from your office for another,'' Lana glanced at her watch, ''thirteen minutes.''

Andy nodded, ''if you could, please.''  
Lana gave her a sympathetic look, ''he insisted.'' She opened the door a little wider, revealing who was standing next to her.

Andy was sure that she was still dreaming. She stood up. ''What are you doing here?''


	15. The Concession

How did one little plot bunny turn into 50k+ words?! Also, thanks for the reviews!

* * *

 **—The Concession—**

* * *

Jonas closed the door behind him as he walked in.

''Please, take a seat,'' Andy said as she sat back down. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out why he would possible want to come see her. She doubted Marc had told him about finding her and Lu asleep together, he had always been fiercely loyal to Lu although Andy didn't know what his relationship with Jonas was like.

He remained standing, holding onto the back of one of the chairs as he looked at some of the pictures she had in her office. He picked up a picture of Les, Jesse, and Lizzy and held it up, ''this is what I want.'' He said. ''A family.''

Andy walked over to him and took the picture out of his hands—looking at it for a moment before putting it back.

''I asked Luisa to marry me.''

''I know,'' Andy said, ''slipping the ring on her finger while she was sleeping, she told me.'' She looked at Jonas who seemed agitated, and wondered if Lu knew he was here. Probably not.

''I want to have a family with her,'' Jonas said. ''I want to marry her, have kids with her, grow old with her. But every time it looks like that might be possible, there's something that happens between the two of you.''

''Nothing happened between us,'' Andy said, walking back to behind her desk. It's not that she thought Jonas would lash out, but she was sure he wasn't the biggest fan of her right now. ''Nothing's happened in a long time.'' They both knew that he knew about them sleeping together, but there was no need to get specific about when or why it ended.

''Did you or did you not sleep at my house last night?'' Jonas asked, finally making eye contact with Andy. He already knew the answer. He had overheard Marc and Lu talking about it- the former filled to the brim with questions- and had asked her about it. He wanted to know if Andy would be honest with him though.

Andy swallowed hard. It was a coin toss whether he knew or not, but she was sick of hiding it. With Milo now gone there was no reason for her to lie anymore, except to possibly protect Lu. ''In your guest bedroom,'' she admitted.

Jonas nodded. ''Lu told me.'' He looked at Andy, not wanting to say what he was about to say as it seemed like a terrible idea, but he couldn't find another way. ''I love her, and want to be with her.'' He took a deep breath, ''but she loves you-''

''She loves you,'' Andy interrupted.

Jonas put a hand up, effectively shutting her up. ''She loves me.'' He concurred. ''But she also loves you, and there's nothing I can do to change that—believe me, I've tried.'' He paused for a second, ''I don't care anymore.''

Andy's jaw dropped slightly, sure she misunderstood. ''About?'' She asked with a frown. ''About her?''

He shook his head, hating the fact that her misunderstanding this meant that he had to spell it out for her. ''I've never cared more about her. I love her with my whole heart,'' Jonas said. ''I don't care about you and her together, or what you two might be doing when I'm not around. I want to be with her, and if that means that from time to time she prefers to spend the night with you then that is her prerogative.''

Andy was stunned, ''you honestly don't care if she and I-''

''I don't want to know about it. I don't want to see anything, hear about it,'' Jonas said. ''Just…-'' he looked away for a second, letting it all sink in that he was actually agreeing to this. ''Just don't hurt her,'' he said.

* * *

Lu rushed into Andy's office. It was getting late and she couldn't help but wonder why Andy was still here. She said as much. ''Don't you have to get home to the girls?'' She asked, trying to sound casual.

''Jesse is away at college, Lizzy is sleeping over at a friend's house,'' Andy answered. ''I'd much rather stay here, catch up on some work.'' She had barely even looked up at Lu, preferring to focus on the patient files in front of her. Facing the loneliness at home wasn't her idea of a good Friday evening, although paper work wasn't either.

''Wouldn't you be more comfortable working at home?'' Lu hinted.

''Why're you trying to get me to leave?'' Andy asked, glancing at Lu. Lu had never been bothered by her working late except for when she had tried to get her to go home with her—and despite her talk with Jonas, those days were long over. Lu opened her mouth to answer, protest, say that that wasn't what she meant, but Andy interrupted her before she could utter a single word. ''Have you talked to Jonas today?''

Lu frowned, ''no. I mean, he came back from Rio earlier than expected but he said not to give my answer until our dinner date Sunday. He wanted to give me space to think about it.''

Andy looked up, licked her lips. ''He came by here today,'' she said, ''to talk about us.'' She put her pen down and leaned back. She had thought that after their talk he would've talked to Lu.

Lu sat down. ''What'd he say?''

''That he loves you, wants to be with you,'' Andy said. ''And that he doesn't care if we're together, as long as you come home to him.'' She looked at Lu, who had a stunned look on her face. ''Why does everyone seem to think that we're still together? That we still have feelings for each other?'' She genuinely didn't know, although it had been a recurring issue.

''You don't?''  
''I don't what?''  
''Have feelings for me,'' Lu said, she seemed to almost shrink down a bit, unsure of what the answer was going to be.

Andy cocked her head to the side. If Lu could wonder about this then it was no wonder that Jonas would too. ''You think I still have feelings for you?'' She asked. The main reason why she and Lu had split up was because of her feelings for Milo—with him now gone, did they really have to revisit this?

''I don't know. Sometimes it looks like it, other times you're distant,'' Lu said. ''It just looks like you're longing for that, for a relationship. And I don't know if you want that to be with me, or with someone else… I just- I think you need to figure out what you want before we even discuss this, again.''

Andy was quiet for a while, mulling over what Lu had said. It had been a somewhat conscious decision, every time she felt she and Lu were getting too close again she pushed her away, not paying too much mind to how it would make Lu feel. Selfish, really. ''You want to be with me?'' She asked, realizing she hadn't even asked Lu how she felt.

She stood up from her desk chair, circling the desk until she was standing opposite Lu, who was looking up from her chair. Lu stood up, taking a few tentative steps closer to Andy, wiping a strand of hair away from her face. They were close to each other, their bodies pressed together in areas. Lu leaned in; she had brought her lips close to Andy's ear before changing her mind on what she was going to say. ''You should go home,'' she whispered.

Andy pulled back, looking Lu in the eye. ''Excuse me?''

Lu took a few steps back, putting one hand on the door. ''You really should go home,'' there was a faint, almost sad smile on her face.

* * *

She spent the drive home wondering what Lu had meant—her mind racing. There was only one reason she could think of. As Andy pulled up into the driveway she was sure her eyes were tricking her. He was actually here. Sitting on her front doorstep, looking absolutely defeated. His arms were dangling off his knees, his eyes following her car.

Andy took a deep breath as she shut off the engine. Yes, he was here. But she didn't have a clue as to what he would say, she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel—gathering up the courage to possibly face his rejection once again, and jumped out of the car.

Her gait was fast, progressively getting slower and slower as she got closer to him, before coming completely to a halt a few feet away from him.

''I love Sandra.''  
''Okay.''  
''You said that you love me,'' Milo said, looking up at her and meeting her eye, ''and I love Sandra.''

Andy nodded slowly, ''yes, I know.'' She sat down next to him on the front door step.  
He stood up, took a couple of paces away from her. He ran a hand over his head, trying to force out the words. ''She is amazing, she's kind,'' he took a deep breath, ''she's beautiful, she's always there for me, she's smart...''

Andy looked at him confused. She already knew what he thought of her—so why was he here instead of on his plane to Seattle with this amazing, kind, beautiful woman? She stood up as well, grabbing his hands into her own and forcing him to look at her. ''Okay,'' she said slowly.

''She is the one for me,'' Milo reiterated, looking away.  
''Okay.''  
''Okay?''

''Yes, okay. If she makes you happy then go be with her,'' Andy said, confused by his confusion—she wasn't crazy about the fact that he seemed to have come back for reassurance but if that was what he needed then she would give it. ''You said it yourself, 'when you know you know'. If-''

''Yes,'' Milo said, cutting her off. She nodded at him. ''When you know you know…'' he repeated quietly, mostly to himself. ''But then I look at you and I don't know anything...''

She could see the emotions in his eyes as she tried to contain her own.

Milo started pacing up and down the gravel walkway. ''She and I had been together for months and everything was perfect, and then that night at the bachelor auction, when you came onto me... I had been trying to ignore my feelings for you since the moment we broke up, but I couldn't anymore.

''And then it started to fade and Sandra and I got engaged, and then that night at Bob's cabin... You were at my wedding and all I could think was that it was you I wanted to marry...'' Milo took a deep breath, sat down again and buried his face in his hands.

''Then why did you marry her?'' Andy asked. She sat down, rubbing circles on his back.

Milo shook his head, looking down at the ground, ''I don't know. All I know is that all through the night as Sandra and I were packing and she was so excited about moving, all I could think about was how I couldn't leave Rittenhouse, how I couldn't leave Philly.'' He looked back at Andy. ''My home is here, my _real_ wife is here, my daughters are here, my future is _here_.''

They were silent, letting his words sink in. ''All these months I've been so cold to you, trying to ignore my feelings, and still you just wanted me to be happy,'' Milo said, taking Andy's hand into his own. ''You encouraged me to be with Sandra because you thought she made me happy.''

''That's all I want for you,'' Andy said, ''to just be happy.''

Milo shook his head slightly, ''I thought you were so selfish, that you would throw away what we had to go explore this new side of you with _her_. And now I don't know what to feel. I want to be with you, but since you're gay-''

''I'm not gay,'' Andy said, ''I don't know what I am. I just know that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.'' She looked down at their two hands entwined. ''I had feelings for Lu. I was attracted to her and then in love with her and now I don't know how I feel about her… but, it doesn't compare to what I have with you.''

''It doesn't?''  
''It doesn't.'' She smiled at him.

''She loves you, and you love her,'' Milo said, ''what does that mean for us? If we do get back together, who's to say that we won't end up right where we left off? That I won't wake up in the middle of the night again to you going down on her.''

Andy bit her lip. She could promise that that wouldn't happen, but there had been no trust between them for a long time. ''I don't know,'' she said, honestly. She noticed the surprised look on his face. ''I don't know that that's not going to happen,'' she didn't want to think about Lu at all at the moment, but she knew she had to do something to appease Milo's doubts.

She tried to find the words, any words, to convince Milo that he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Sandra for her. She looked at Milo, who was looking away, her hand on his cheek, softly stroking it and through his hair. His eyes told her that even if they didn't work out he wasn't going back to Sandra. Her eyes moved down his face, landing on his lips.

She bit her lip, trying to refrain from kissing him. He looked back at her, noticing her dark eyes, noticing how close their faces were to each other. He looked back and forth between her eyes; he leaned in, feeling her breath on his face. He took a second to savor the moment before finally kissing her, his eyes closing as if on cue.

It was exactly how it had been before—as if her lips on his awoke something inside him. Milo couldn't believe how much time he had let pass without doing this. It started slow. A few short kisses, their lips barely brushing against each other. His hand on her back moved up, pulling her closer to him and their kiss deepened. He parted his lips slightly and that was all it took to dissolve the last bit of restraint they had. Andy was almost on top of him- both breathing fast- before he remembered they were still on the front step of her house.

He pushed her away slightly, his head following hers as she pulled away. She kissed him again before getting up, holding out a hand to him and pulling him up. She fumbled in her pocket for her keys and could feel him behind her, pushing up against her as his lips were on her neck. She could feel his already hard dick against the top of her ass and pushed back against him, trying to restrain from pulling up her skirt and letting him fuck her right up against the front door.

It made it hard to focus on finding the right key, and her shaking hands had trouble opening the door when she finally located the right one. They almost toppled over as the door finally opened. He held her up, closing the door by pushing her up against it.

His lips were on hers, then on her neck, her throat, moving down, as if trying to find new places to taste her. His hands pulled up her skirt, landing on her butt and giving one of the cheeks a squeeze. She pulled his face back to her own, one of her legs wrapped around his, as she started to unbutton his shirt, wanting to feel his bare skin against her own.

He pulled away, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to the side. Her hand snuck inside his pants, feeling how hard he was and a moan came out as the memory of how good he felt inside of her came flooding back to her. They moved into the living room, pulling off their clothes on their way before falling down on the couch together.

He kissed down her throat before landing on her breasts, his lips closing over one of her nipples trough the thin fabric of her bra. She arched against him, pushing him away for a second so she could sit up and undo the clasp, letting it fall down her arms and to the floor. He looked down at her body, ''fuck, Andy…''

Where normally anyone looking at her like this, naked, vulnerable would make her feel uncomfortable, she didn't care right now. ''I want you inside of me so bad.''

Her breathy voice only served to make him harder. It had been too long for him, and all the times in the past year where he had been alone and thinking of her, his hand bringing himself to completion, it all came flooding back to his mind. She was underneath him, all of her, and she wanted him as bad as he wanted her.

Her legs hooked behind him, pulling him closer to her. He looked down between the two of them, his hand against her centre, brushing against her clit before pushing two fingers inside. ''Milo, please…'' she had waited for this moment for over a year and could feel a knot in her stomach, ''I'm so wet.'' She said, pulling him closer to her. If at all possible she could see his eyes darken even more in response to her words.

His hand closer around his dick, running it up and down her slit a few times before finally pushing in, slowly. He groaned and almost came right there and then. She gasped and her jaw dropped, her face already scrunched up. It felt even better than she had remembered, and in that moment every time with Nick suddenly paled in comparison. She let out a shaky breath. Her nails were running down Milo's shoulder and she could already feel the heat forming in her lower belly.

His face came to rest next to hers, picking up the pace. Her heat around him, her nails on his back, her moaning in his ear, he was trying with all his might to make it last as long as possible. He had even missed the noises.

He could hear her breath quicken and he moved one of his hands under her, cupping her butt cheek and trying to pull her closer to him, trying to go deeper inside of her. He wanted to do something, anything—kiss her neck, roll her nipple between his fingers, rub her clit, _anything_. His mind was foggy as he could hear her repeat his name over and over again in his ear. Moans becoming louder, whimpering as his pace felt just perfect- his dick feeling just perfect inside of her.

That's what she wanted to tell him. Tell him that she wanted him to always make her feel this way, that he could fuck her day and night- fast, slow, rough, gentle- whichever way he wanted. That he hit all the right spots and that if his dick wasn't absolutely perfect at turning her brain into mush she would tell him that all the time.

He bit her on the neck, his hand clasping over her throat ever so slightly squeezing. ''I want you to come all over my dick,'' he breathed into her ear.

It was the last push she needed. She was pretty sure she screamed as she finally fell over the edge, pulsating around him for what seemed like forever. Her whole body was hot, every nerve ending standing on high alert. It was as if she could feel every fiber of her being all at once, every single one sending pleasure signals to her brain.

Andy didn't know how long it took her before she came down somewhat, Milo never slowing down- but when she finally managed to open her eyes again she could see the sweat on his forehead. His face scrunched up in much the same way as hers had been, although in his case it was to keep from coming.

She forced herself to breathe more slowly, putting her hands on Milo's shoulders to slow him down. Their eyes met as he settled into a slow but steady rhythm. ''You're so beautiful when you come,'' he said, kissing her.

He leaned on one of his hands as the other one ran all over her torso, feeling everywhere as if for the first time. His face was hovering over hers, their eyes fixed on each other. He ran his hands through her hair. ''I love you so much,'' he whispered to her.

She blinked her tears away, ''I love you too,'' she said, her hand stroking his back, not wanting to take her eyes off of him. It felt as if they were alone in the world and she wanted it to never end. In that moment it was as if all the pain and hurt that had transpired faded out of existence. They would deal with all the messy stuff later, for now all that was important was that she had him and he had her. She could feel a tear roll down her cheek, ''I don't want you to ever leave again.''

She could feel his lips on her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, before finally connecting with her lips again. Their kiss deepening as they savored the feeling of the other against them—maintaining the same steady rhythm until they came together.


	16. The Conflict

**—The Conflict—**

* * *

Andy sat up against the headboard, pulling the sheets up to cover herself. They had eventually made their way up to her bedroom—figuring that it would be best to not leave a trail of clothing on the living room floor in case Lizzy came back from her sleepover sooner than expected.

She was sure it was late but didn't care what time it was. Her whole body was shaking, probably from the excitement. Upstairs they had continued right where they had left off downstairs. They had sex again, showered together after he had come all over her chest. Had continued in the shower. Now that she could she wanted nothing more than to have him close at all times. Feel his skin on her own.

He walked back in from the bathroom, wearing nothing other than a black pair of boxer shorts. Milo slid back underneath the covers, pulling Andy close to him and burying his face in her neck. He could feel a bit of tenseness on her part, it hadn't been there before and his mind immediately started racing as to why.

Andy pulled away slightly, looking at Milo. She wanted nothing more than to surrender herself to him, but just because they were unofficially back together now didn't mean that all of their issues were resolved. She took a deep breath. ''So, what's going to happen with you and Sandra now?'' She asked.

His eyebrows were raised, clearly not expecting her to be this direct. ''She wants to annul our marriage,'' he said. ''It's not like we consummated it anyway.'' He looked away. Despite his firm belief that Andy was the one for him he had still loved Sandra, and he couldn't and wouldn't pretend that their relationship hadn't meant anything to him. ''I think she knew I wasn't going to leave Philly before I did.''

He looked back at her. She was patiently listening to his story. ''I think that's why she came to see you, to see if we were truly over. The fact that I lied about us being together, and kept talking about you… it was just adding nails to the coffin.'' He sighed. ''We checked into our flight and right before boarding she asked me if I was ready and I said 'of course, I married you didn't I?' and…'' he shook his head, fighting the emotions coming up, ''she told me to think about it a few seconds more and I started thinking about you and that was it. I couldn't leave.''

''I'm glad you came back,'' she said, wiping a tear from his cheek.  
''Me too,'' he said, turning his head to her cupped hand on his cheek and kissing her hand softly. Since she had brought up his relationship with Sandra it seemed to be as good a time as any to bring up what she had been up to. ''So… Nick?'' Andy groaned, looking away. Milo turned to her a bit more. ''I guess I should be gracious and say it's none of my business, but it is.''

''He doesn't hold a candle to you,'' Andy said. ''He and I are as good as done.''  
''And Peter?'' He asked. She buried her head in his armpit seemingly embarrassed. ''I can't believe you had a threesome—without me.'''

''What? You would've preferred it if I had called you over that night?'' She asked.  
''I would've preferred it if you had never slept with either of them at all,'' he said. Her smile at him made it even more difficult to bring this up. He lowered his eyes, ''how about Lu?''

''I should've called her over?'' She asked jokingly. He gave her a look. She cleared her throat, unsure of what more she could say about the subject. ''You're friends with her now, and I know she told you that she and I haven't… done anything, in a long time.''

Milo frowned at her. ''When's the last time you two kissed?''  
She was about to answer before she remembered what had happened not even a day and a half before. Having to jeopardize her future with Milo was too big a risk, but already having secrets from each other wasn't a great option either. ''Milo…''

''When?''  
She took a deep breath. ''When I left the hospital, before we saw each other at the mountain last night,'' she could see the tense look on his face, ''she kissed me.'' She watched him look away. ''After we talked I went over to her house and we slept in the same bed, but didn't do anything.''

''You slept in the same bed?''  
Andy could feel Milo pull away a bit, ''we just slept.'' She didn't know how to make it less concerning to Milo, ''I thought you had left for good-''

''So if I wasn't here you'd go right back to her?'' He asked, getting up from the bed. ''I can't believe you Andy,'' he was shaking his head, trying to gather his thoughts. ''What're we doing here then?''

She sat on her knees, watching him pace. ''Milo, I love you.'' She didn't know how many times she'd have to repeat those four words to make him believe them, but she would do it however many times necessary.

''Do you love her?''

Andy bit her lip. ''I told you last night that I don't know how I feel about her, and that I'm not going to make any promises regarding her and me.'' She could see in his eyes that he just wanted to leave. ''I wish I could tell you that nothing will ever happen but I honestly didn't plan for everything that has happened up to now to happen either—I'm not the same me around her as when I am alone with you.''

* * *

It had been a long night, and the following day hadn't been much better. There was fighting and then make-up sex, and that over and over again. Her bed had broken somewhere during the third round, and she had decided to retreat to the guestroom as Milo had booked a room at a hotel.

When Lizzy had finally come home on Sunday morning it had been a welcome distraction from everything. From Milo deciding to come back, their fighting, the fact that for all she knew he could be on a flight to Seattle and never come back. For all she knew he could've come back to have sex with her, frustrated after months of not getting anything from his _wife_.

She knew he wouldn't actually do that, but for months she had pictured what their reconciliation would look like and this wasn't it. Still, he had come back, and he had said that he loved her. And every moment he had been at her house he had made it clear how much he wanted her.

For most of the afternoon she replayed what he had said in her mind. However, when she finally settled in for dinner with her youngest daughter her mind turned to something else. It was Sunday evening. Tonight Lu would tell Jonas her answer.

* * *

Andy had avoided Lu all of Monday, sure that she would get a visit from her partner at the end of the day as was becoming more and more common lately. Through the grapevine she had found out that Milo had booked an appointment with Dr. Jackson in the afternoon. Probably to get his job back.

All Andy had cared about was that this meant he was intending to stay in Philadelphia.

She could hear familiar footsteps in the hallway and didn't have to look up from the computer screen to know who it was. ''Delgado,'' she called out, ''come take a look at this.'' She could hear some footsteps coming closer as Lu tentatively made her way into her office.

Lu frowned at her partner, ''what happened to calling me Lu? You've had your whole fist inside of me, not to mention some of the other stuff we've done, and you still won't call me by my first name?'' She asked, making her way over to the desk.

Andy could feel the heat creeping up, her cheeks turning crimson as she ignored Lu's questions. She never could get used to Lu's bluntness regarding the sexual side of their relationship—as if she was trying to make Andy uncomfortable. Andy had been too shocked by the slew of pro-anorexia sites she had come across to remember she was trying to avoid Lu. She swallowed hard, and the feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that maybe she did still have feelings for Lu. ''I guess congratulations are in order?'' She asked, noticing the diamond ring Lu had been so reluctant to put on not a few days before.

Lu had a small smile on her face. ''I guess I can say the same to you.''  
Andy hesitated, ''only if you mean it,'' she said. Lu looked away and that was all she needed to know. ''And maybe not.''

Lu looked at her with furrowed brows, ''how come?'' When Andy didn't answer she could only make assumptions. ''Did you two have a fight?'' Silence was the only answer she got, although Andy's face spoke volumes. ''What about?''

Andy gave her a look. ''What else? You.''

Neither of them knew what to say about this, and neither of them could look away from the other, their eyes fixed on each other. It was only interrupted when there was a knock on Andy's open office door and Milo stepped inside. He looked back and forth between the two, ''I hope I am not interrupting anything,'' he said.

Andy smiled at him, not wanting to start anything whilst at work, well aware of his appreciation of discreteness. ''Lu and Jonas got engaged last night,'' she told him, trying to push past the awkwardness.

She could swear Milo looked relieved. ''That's great, congratulations,'' Milo told Lu, he could only assume that Jonas wouldn't stand for them continuing a romantic- or even a purely sexual- relationship now that they were getting married. Lu thanked him with a smile and he returned his attention to Andy, ''I talked to Bob Jackson, got my job back.''

''You're here to stay?'' Lu asked.  
He nodded. ''Nowhere else I'd want to be,'' he said, his eyes on Andy even though he didn't look genuinely happy. ''Was hoping I could take you out for dinner, so we could talk.''

Andy agreed, ''I'm almost done here,'' she said, reminded of why she had called Lu in at all. ''Come take a look at this,'' she said, directing her attention back to her partner. Andy's head was propped up on her hand, scrolling through the sites in front of her.

Lu threw Milo a look—aware he was watching her—as she made her way to the other side of the desk, standing behind Andy. As her eyes fell on the sites she immediately forgot about him though. ''Pro-anorexia sites?'' She asked, shocked.

''Dozens of them,'' Andy said, clicking through the various tabs to show Lu.  
Lu shook her head with pursed lips, ''this is sick.'' Milo's movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, he had his arms crossed and his eyes were tracking her every move.

''No, people with anorexia are sick, this is evil,'' Andy said, clearly pissed. She had had one too many patients with eating disorders to not have this affect her. She was brought back to reality when Lu's hand rubbed her shoulder a bit, and she froze under the touch, swallowing hard. Lu's fingers brushed against her neck, leaving goose bumps, as she wiped a strand of hair away from Andy's face and behind her ear.

Andy swallowed hard, trying to remember what they had been talking about. She wasn't sure if Lu was still touching her but she knew she wouldn't able to shake the feeling she had when the other woman had touched her for a long time. She was frozen, not even breathing, unable to move no matter how badly she wanted to get up and crash her lips against Lu's, push her up against the wall and claim her as her own.

Lu looked up from her fingers slowly raking through Andy's hair and back at Milo. His face was flushed, his lips a tight line and his eyes wide. His jaw was clenched and she knew that she had betrayed their friendship- that in that moment he wanted to push her away from Andy and make sure they never saw each other again.

Lu felt conflicted. She wanted Andy to be happy, with Milo. She had been supportive of them as a couple before they ever actually got together, and she had been witness to how happy they made each other. But she also felt a sense of triumph, knowing that she could still get to Andy like this, even after the latter woman had pushed her away the Thursday before. It hadn't even been a conscious decision to do this—it just felt natural to be this affectionate towards Andy. She finally took her hand away, ''I should go.''

Andy didn't hear her, it wasn't until the door closed that she realized Lu had left. She drew in a shaky breath and looked up at Milo.

* * *

She was glad he was still willing to go out for dinner after what had happened. The whole thing had not lasted 10 seconds but she knew it had gotten to him, just like it had to her. On their way back from the restaurant her eyes had tracked the road, trying not to start a fight in the car. In her mind she had been replaying that afternoon's events over and over again, but now that she was alone with Milo she couldn't help but be drawn to him. It was she who had suggested they go back to his hotel room, taking in the surprised look he had given her.

It had happened during dinner. She had said something that she couldn't even remember now and he had looked up from the menu in his hands and given her his signature smile that made her melt inside. It had made her remember just how right Sandra was, that he really could fuck the paint off the walls. It had given her that twitch in her lower belly, the same one she had had when Lu had touched her, the one that had made her push Lu up against the wall and smash her lips into hers.

He had agreed without a word.

Their tongues were battling with each other—she was pressed up against the hotel room door, feeling his hands roaming over her body. Her hands moved down his torso before finally finding their way to his zipper, pulling it down. She could feel him do the same thing, her hand making its way into his underwear as his did into hers. She rubbed her fingers together, spreading his precum on them to use as lubrication as his fingers dipped inside of her, pumping in and out as she got wetter by the second, his palm rubbing against her clit. She moaned into his open mouth.

She moved her hand up and down his length, feeling him grow hard. His fingers circled around her clit and she arched into his body, kissing down his neck, her eyes were closed, relishing in the feeling of having him so close, almost too aware of how fragile their relationship was right now. One of her hands moved up to his shoulder, turning them around. With his back now against the door she started kissing her way down his torso, undoing the belt he had around his slacks. She took it off and let it drop to the floor, not particularly concerned with where it ended up.

He looked down at her on her knees in front of him, his eyes landing on her pink swollen lips and his dick twitched. Milo swallowed hard, remembering how talented she was at this specific act. He could feel her hot breath blowing against the tip and groaned. ''Andy…''

She looked up at him through hooded eyes, shushing him.

She licked her lips and pushed his dick up against his stomach, licking it from base to tip- adding pressure at the end- before taking it into her mouth. She hollowed her cheeks around him, using her hand to pump at the base. His hand made her way into her hair. The next few minutes were spent alternating between licking and sucking, steadily increasing her speed as curses fell from Milo's lips.

His hand snuck around her neck, brushing her hair to the side in the exact same way Lu had down that afternoon, and Andy didn't have to question whether it was deliberate or not. A shiver rolled down her spine and she moaned around him.

''Fuck… Andy…'' his head rolled back before looking back down at her, the sight of his dick disappearing into her eager mouth almost being too much for him. ''You're so hot when you're sucking my cock…'' He could feel tightness in his lower belly and knew that he was close. His hand pulled her head away, his dick falling out with a pop.

She looked up at him, not yet getting up, her hand still on him, swiping her thumb over the tip. He pulled her up to him, their lips meeting as he pushed her jeans further down. He pushed her backwards, her hips hitting the dresser and she winced at the pain. Her fingers were quickly unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and running up and down his body- she pulled away and pulled off her own shirt as well.

Milo stepped back, looking her up and down, his eyes landing on her still bra-clad chest. She could see the lust in his eyes and reached behind her, letting the bra fall down her arms and unto the floor. If at all possible his pupils dilated even more. He reached out a hand to her, flicking her nipple with one hand while the other one attempted to draw her closer. Her lips were close to his ear, ''I want you to fuck me,'' she whispered in his ear, hearing a groan escape his mouth, ''so. hard.'' Pushing his hand away she pulled off her jeans and turned around, leaning over the dresser- looking at Milo in the mirror above the dresser.

His warm hand started on her ass before running up her spine, keeping her in place. His other hand snuck down between her legs, first one finger and then another moving inside of her. She looked up at him in the mirror, watched him as he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked her juices off of them. The wicked smile that spreads on his face made her swallow hard, made her want him even more.

He pumped his finger into her a few more times before circling her swollen clit, and she couldn't help but push back against him, feeling his hard dick against her. Her eyes were closed, face scrunched up as she waited impatiently for him to finally fill her up the way she has been wanting him to since her eyes met his that afternoon. Still, his fingers weren't a terrible alternative.

Their eyes met in the mirror again, her face flushed as she kept moaning. ''I want you inside of me,'' she managed to utter between moans.

Not having to be told twice he withdrew his fingers again, lining himself up against her opening and pushed inside- filling her up to the hilt in one swift motion. Her hands were looking for something to hold on to, eventually digging her nails into the edge of the wooden dresser, wishing she could scratch her nails down Milo's back instead. With his hands on her hips he waited before moving, wanting to give her a moment to adjust. She was too impatient though, bouncing back against him in a steady rhythm.

He looked down at where their bodies were joined. The sight of himself disappearing into her, her ass bouncing against his upper thighs… He swallowed hard. This was new. Usually he was the one to set the rhythm, moving in a way that worked best for the both of them as she managed to meet him halfway. It was not exactly unwelcome though. He could feel her clench around him every time he almost slipped out of her, and it made something inside him twitch. Nothing had ever felt better.

His eyes fell on her face in the mirror. A concentrated look had crossed her face, her mouth slightly open as she failed to hold back noise after noise. Watching her like this was fascinating to him. Knowing that he could make her feel like this was enough to make him forget all the worries in the world.

''You feel so good,'' she said, her back arching slightly.

His breathing was becoming faster, sweat dripping down. ''I want to make you feel so damn good,'' he said. He could feel her start to lose her rhythm, moving faster and faster and more erratic by the moment and he could feel her twitch around him. He grabbed the edge of the dresser, his body half covering hers, and taking over.

His hand reached around her, pulling on her taut nipple and eliciting another whimper from her. Deciding to abandon her breasts for a second he grabbed one of her hands, moving it down to her clit before continuing his attack against the hard peak.

Every part of her body was on fire, every muscle tightening and relaxing over and over again, her legs were shaking but she knew Milo would keep her up. She was not exactly keen on cursing but she couldn't help herself, her brain in complete overdrive whilst at the same time completely unable to form a single coherent thought. Every single orgasm she had seemed to roll right into the next one and she bit so hard on her lip she could taste blood in her mouth. Her eyes were already closed but her vision became even darker before simply completely disappearing. She knew that if she was able to produce any sound she would be screaming, but even her voice seemed to have given out.

His cock was still slamming into her in that perfect rhythm which he managed to keep steady even as he came undone. His sweaty body fell onto hers, and she could feel his warmness filling her, her twitching around him milking every last drop from him.

Neither of them knew how long they stood there before Milo was the first one to somewhat regain his senses. He pulled away and watched Andy slip to the floor, her legs unable to keep her up. He slipped down to the floor next to her and pulled her close to him, his face buried in her hair. He moved his hand down to between her legs and rubbed her clit a few more times, her whole body shaking underneath his touch.

''Oh my god,'' she finally managed to get out.

He nodded in agreement before getting up and making his way into the bathroom, taking a leak and getting warm washcloths for the both of them. She gratefully accepted it from him and looked up at his naked form in front of her. He was still half hard and she has to resist the urge to lean forward and taste him again.

Milo sat down on the bed and after a few minutes she made her way over to him, sitting down as well. ''Do you want something to eat?'' He asked. ''Maybe some room service.'' His suggestion hung in the air as he picked up the phone. He looked over to Andy who was still quiet. ''Andy?''

She swallowed hard. ''I should be heading home,'' she said as she got up and started gathering her clothes. ''Corrina gets off at 10; I need to be home before then.''

He shook his head with a smile, ''pulling guard duty, huh?''

She put on her jeans, ignoring the fact that he was staring at her unclad chest unabashedly. ''Well, after all Dr. Mom needs to tuck her girl in tonight.''

''You are a wonder Andy,'' he said, watching her look for her bra. A groan came from her. ''No, no, I marvel how you do it all, the patients, the clinic, Jesse, Lizzy… me.''

She turned to him. ''Doing you makes the other things a lot easier,'' she said with a grin as she reached for her shirt. She slid into his lap, glad that he hadn't bothered to put anything on yet. ''Going through my day knowing that at the end I'll have your hard, hot cock inside of me…'' she was sucking on his neck and could feel his hand coming up to cup her boob over her shirt, ignoring his groaning.

Her lips were on his again, sucking on his bottom lip, trying to tear herself away to go home at last. The only thing that was important in that moment was feeling Milo against her; surely Lizzy was old enough to tuck herself in now? She shook her head and got up. She walked over to the mirror, running a hand through her hair and trying to ignore the hickey forming on her neck.

''Will I see you tomorrow?'' Milo asked, coming up behind her and pulling her against him, kissing her neck.

She sighed. ''You know what happened tonight, it doesn't solve anything,'' she said, pushing him away slightly.

He frowned at her. He was only half listening to what she said, really just wanting to tear her clothes off and throw her down onto the bed. ''Hmm?''

''Lu.''

That got his attention. He finally looked back up at her eyes, already looking for the words to describe his feelings about the matter. His memory of that afternoon's events came bubbling to the surface, the jealousy he had felt in that moment, the claiming look in Lu's eyes. It all looked so natural; the two of them so close together. And it killed him.

''I don't want to keep having the same fight over and over again,'' Andy said. She could see in his eyes that his post-orgasm glow was quickly fading. She hated that they kept having to have this discussion but the only alternative was ignoring it until it broke them up again.

''So what do you want to do?'' He asked, slightly turning away from her. After a moment he opted to sit back down again, trying to create some distance between them without making it obvious to her.

She grabbed her jacket. She had been anticipating this question all evening. ''How about you take the next couple of days to figure out what you want? Decide if you can live in a world where I have feelings for someone else… Decide under what circumstances you can be with me,'' she said. She lifted his chin up with a single finger, ''with our combined brain power we oughtta be able to figure something out.''

Andy walked over to the door, opening it before looking back at him. ''I love you,'' she said, closing the door and leaving before he could respond. She didn't want to know.


	17. The Disengagement

Thanks for the review! And don't worry, I like 'em long :)

* * *

 __ **—The Disengagement—**

* * *

 _''I love you.'' The words came out before he had time to process them. He was panting as he collapsed on top of her, his hands massaging her boob as he could feel her hand still moving between the two of them. He looked at her face, all scrunched up as she was nearing the edge._

 _She could feel his mouth move to her neck, kissing her there in all the right places. It only took a second before she fell over the edge, clenching around him, loving the way he filled her up. Her hips were raised off the bed, resting on a pillow, and the new angle was just perfect. Her nails were digging into his skin, ''I love,'' she moaned out, trying to form a correct sentence, ''your dick.'' She was aware he was chuckling but didn't care._

 _It took a little while for her moaning to stop and for her brain to start functioning again. She could feel his warmness inside of her and frowned, ''did you use a condom?'' She asked, feeling his cum start to leak out._

 _He looked at her, ''yeah, of course I did.'' They always did, just as a precaution. They were both clean- they had gone to be tested pretty quickly after their arrangement had started- and she had made it clear that she didn't expect to still be able to get pregnant—but better safe than sorry. He was still buried deep inside of her and didn't want to disengage just yet._

 _''I think it broke,'' she said, silently groaning. With Milo she never cared about condoms. The feeling of his seed spilling inside of her was something that she loved; it made her feel connected to him in a strange way. She didn't mind it with him. But in this situation, with this arrangement that was just about getting each other off—not about love or anything messy like that, condoms just made the whole clean up a lot simpler._

 _She could feel Nick roll off of her and immediately missed him being inside of her. She turned her head towards him as it sunk in what he had said. She quietly accepted the tissue he handed her and cleaned herself up best as she could._

 _''I didn't mean that,'' he said, feeling like he owed her an explanation. This was a casual situation, they had both made it clear from the get-go that they didn't have feelings for each other and that they were never going to be romantically involved. ''It's just something that sometimes slips out when the sex is really good.'' He said. They had been doing this for a while now but this was the first time he had let the L word slip out._

 _She took a deep breath, ''it's okay, it happens. For what it's worth, I meant every word.''_

''I did mean every word, it's not about that,'' Andy said as she leaned against the gurney. Nick was standing in front of her, awfully close, confused as to why for the first time since they had started sleeping together almost 7 months before she was pushing him away. ''Your dick really is amazing, and the sex was great.'' She was keeping her voice down, not wanting anyone else to hear her words.

''But?'' Nick asked, his hands on her hips, wanting to pull her close. They saw each other in a professional manner but when he looked at her now all he could think about was how great she felt around him, how much he loved looking down and seeing her red-painted lips around him. Their arrangement had been perfect for him. He wasn't in a relationship, he didn't have to take her out for fancy meals or be her +1 to anything, whilst he still got laid pretty much as often as he wanted.

''Milo and I are getting back together,'' Andy said. ''He decided not to go to Seattle, he and Sandra have separated.'' She wasn't going to deny how good it felt to finally say those words; she had been waiting for this to happen for so long. Still, it felt strange that Nick hadn't heard yet. So much had happened between her and Milo in the few days since he had gotten back that she had almost forgotten that to Nick they were still… together, or whatever he wanted to call it.

''Oh,'' Nick said, taking his hands off of her and taking a step back. ''Okay. Not how I expected this would end, but okay.'' He ran a hand through his hair, looking away.

Andy frowned at him. ''We both knew this wasn't going to last,'' she said. ''How did you think it would end?'' She sat down.

Nick shrugged, ''I honestly thought it would be you, I don't know, accepting your feelings for Lu and you two getting together.'' He saw the look on her face. ''It's obvious that you have feelings for her, everyone can see it.''

''You didn't seriously think she and I would become a couple, did you?'' She asked. She had asked Milo to think about in what way she and Lu could be together that he would be okay with, and she certainly hoped that he would accept them being _something_ to each other, but there was a big difference between being something and being couple.

''Why not? Milo moving away just seemed like the push you needed,'' he said, watching her become just the slightest bit uncomfortable. ''Look, I'm going to miss being with you, but I want you to do what makes you happy, and I seriously thought that Lu was it. I'm not trying to upset you,'' he put his hand on her shoulder, ''I just want you to choose Milo because he makes you happy- truly happy-, not because he's a man and Lu's a woman so he might seem like the more obvious choice.''

''It's not about that,'' Andy said. ''I don't care that Lu is a woman, and I'm not going to deny that I was in love with her, or maybe still am. But, Milo is the one. He is my one.''

''Are you sure?''

''Yes. He's the 'reach for the stars, over the fence, world series' kinda thing,'' Andy said, recalling the movie Jesse had made her watch dozens of time when she was still little. ''No matter how I feel about Lu, it doesn't change that.''

* * *

It had been a few days since she had broken it off with Nick, and even longer since she had seen or heard from Milo. She knew that she had told him that he should take his time to figure out what he wanted, and what he would be okay with in regards to her relationship with Lu. But now all she wanted was to have him near, feel his hands on her, and be able to feel him.

Almost just as bad she wanted to go over to Lu and be able to give into her feelings. She had missed Lu somewhat during the time since they had broken up, but her talk with Jonas had reignited the feelings and brought back the memories of how good it had been.

The realization that she actually was in love had been a big one, but she hadn't acted on her feelings even once since then. Their relationship was mostly normal. They discussed patients and Lu would blow up every once in a while when she felt she or her patients were being treated unfairly. All very standard coming from her.

Except nowadays normal included off-hand sexual remarks and looks that would stop anyone in their tracks. Their kiss last week, as well as the sleeping together- no matter how platonic that had been- only served to create more tension.

Knowing that Lu was off limits, at least for the time being, made it even harder to be around her and not do anything. Andy was usually very good at following the rules, and for the most part Milo telling her what she could and couldn't do when they were in bed together only made her more turned on—his dominant tendencies were a big part of why they worked so well together.

It was what had made being with Lu so good, she loved taking control as well. Just like with Milo, outside the bedroom they were equal as could be, no one was ordering anyone else around—but as soon as the door to the bedroom closed it was a different story.

Maybe that was part of the reason why- for probably the first time- she didn't mind Lu storming into her office ranting about one thing or the other. Those perfect lips yelling at her whilst waving around some patient file.

Andy didn't even hear what it was about, too distracted by her mere presence.

* * *

''What if I said no?''

Andy looked up from the chart in front of her, seeing Milo standing in the doorway. ''Huh?''

He took a few steps into the room- letting the door fall shut- resting his hands on the back of one of the chairs so that if he wanted he could leave within seconds. ''What if I said no to you and Lu being together? What would happen then?'' He seemed somewhat nervous for the answer.

She put her pen down, contemplating it for a second. It wasn't that it hadn't crossed her mind- truth be told, she had not a clue as to what Milo's answer would be- but she didn't want to think about it. ''Then nothing,'' she said, ''if you say no then- if you want to- we stay together and Lu and I will… just be friends.'' There was no doubt in her mind that this would be easier said than done, and that she truly could not promise that nothing would happen—but her talk with Nick had made things clearer to her. Milo really was the one. And Lu was with Jonas anyway.

Milo noticed the hesitation towards the end of her answer and he knew that it wasn't what Andy wanted. ''You would be okay with that? Just me for, hopefully, the rest of your life?'' He asked.

After a few seconds she nodded and got up, taking his hands into her own. ''I love you, and you're plenty-''

''Then why do I have to make this choice?'' He asked, interrupting her. ''If I'm plenty then why do you even want to be with her?'' She didn't answer, and he knew exactly what that meant. ''Why can't I be enough for you?''

''It's not like that. Milo, you're a lot of things; you're sweet, and funny, you're kind, you're sexy…'' Her hands were on his chest and her words combined with the feeling of his muscles under his shirt made it hard to think for a second. She swallowed hard. ''It's not that I want more, I like going out with you and having sex with you and we do those things often enough—Lu is just different. The things she and I do are different, our whole dynamic is nothing like yours and mine is.''

He had taken three days to think about it, it was Thursday now, and it had only led to more questions. Having her this close to him though, it made it hard not to give in and give her whatever she wanted, and it reminded him of why it had taken him so long to break up last time round. He shrugged, ''it's fine with me if you have feelings for her, I just don't want you to act on them. I want you to myself.''

She gave a slight nod and took a step back. ''Okay.''

''You would be okay with that?'' Milo asked. He hadn't been blind, he recognized the look Andy had in her eyes when she looked at Lu, had seen how hard they found it to resist each other—but no matter how much of a turn on it had been to watch them together, and have Lu watch the two of them together, he was too possessive to risk losing her, again.

She wanted to nod, smile at him; tell him with full confidence that it was indeed okay. That she could really give this up for him, but it was hard. ''For you, yes.'' She did actually mean it, she would do just about anything in this world for him, but that didn't mean it was what she truly wanted. She could hear Lu and Lana talking to each other as they walked past her office and could feel a knot forming in her stomach.

Andy turned away from a Milo, focusing on work had always been her preferred method for dealing with personal issues. She could feel his hand moving down her spine and a shiver ran through her. This conversation with Milo was like breaking up with Lu, and she couldn't pretend it didn't sadden her, but Milo's hands on her were distracting. His hand softly brushing against her ass went straight to her core.

His lips moved to her neck and she leaned her head back, leaning against his body. His hands came up to her breasts, playing with them for a second before one hand made its way down, sneaking into her skirt, rubbing her through her underwear.

She could feel a quiet moan coming out and for a second forgot that she was in her office. The blinds were open, the door unlocked, lots of people outside. She wanted to turn around, push Milo up against the wall and let herself lose control—but Lu's laugh echoed through the hallways and it brought her back down to reality.

She turned ever so slightly and pushed Milo away. ''We can't do that. Not here, not now.'' She said, walking back to the other side of her desk and looking down at the files in front of her, shuffling them around with no particular purpose other than not wanting to look at Milo.

Milo hesitated, not used to getting rejected by her. ''Are you okay?''

Andy swallowed hard, not wanting to have everything spill out. She knew that he knew how she was feeling. That even though she had made her choice, and she would never call being with Milo settling, she still had lost something. ''I'm fine,'' she said, ''I just need to get back to work, there are a lot of patients waiting.''

''Andy, come on, it's me,'' Milo said, ''you can talk to me.''

She looked up, straight into those eyes that she usually couldn't help but get lost in but now didn't want to see for a while. ''I said I'm fine.''

* * *

She had her face buried in her hands. She had set a timer to make sure she didn't check the test prematurely, but it had long gone off and she couldn't look. There was no doubt in her mind that it would be positive. What she had told Nick was true, but since that condom had broken almost a month and a half earlier she had known instinctually that she had been wrong.

Finally lifting up her head she picked up the test. For a second the two clear as day lines didn't sink in. Her mind went blank. She had known what the result would be, but actually seeing it was a different thing completely.

Nothing was going according to what she wanted. Not with Milo, not with Lu. And now little Biancavilla junior was on its way.


	18. The Possessiveness

**—The Possessiveness—**

* * *

This had been a huge mistake.

At almost the exact moment the two lines had appeared clear as day on the test she had made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. It hadn't been planned, it wasn't something she wanted, and she was sure Nick didn't want to co-parent a child with her for the rest of their lives. It was a simple decision really. She had always been a huge proponent of a woman's right to choose, even if she had never considered the possibility that she would one day have to go through it herself.

There had been no doubt whatsoever. But now, lying back on the exam table in her office, hearing the rapid heartbeat echo in the room, it made it real. This was an actual fetus. If she didn't do anything then in almost seven-and-a-half months she would have a baby. A human being who would grow up and one day maybe have their own children.

She had already filled her prescription for mifepristone and misoprostol, all she had to do was take them both and she would be done. The baby would be gone. No baby she would have to raise for the next eighteen years, after Lizzy moved out in a couple of years her child-rearing years would be behind her. And she had been looking forward to that time for a long time now.

It's just that damn heartbeat. She didn't know what had propelled her to listen to it all; she had known it would fill her with doubts. And the worst part was that she couldn't even tell anyone about it. It made sense to tell Milo but she knew that they wouldn't stay together if she kept it. Telling Nick was certainly out of the question, it was a difficult enough decision without him weighing in.

She could tell Lu, but undoubtedly Milo would somehow eventually find out and be hurt by the fact that she had shared it with Lu but not with him. Andy buried her face in her hands, putting the wand down. Even as the loud thumping sound stopped she could still hear it, unrelentingly reminding her that she was pregnant.

* * *

''We need to talk,'' she said, closing the door to Milo's hotel room behind her. From what he had told her he had not even started to look for a new place to live yet, perfectly comfortable with room service and a maid coming in every day to change his sheets.

''That sounds serious,'' he said, sitting down on the bed. He pulled her a bit closer to him, ''are we okay?'' He asked. Sure, they had been fighting a lot and she had rejected all of his advances since he had told her he wanted her to stop seeing Lu, but he still wanted them to be together, and still very much wanted her in bed with him.

''We're fine,'' Andy said. She had fully intended to tell him about her pregnancy, explain that that was part of the reason why she had been so off lately. Yes, it was mostly because of Lu but this certainly played a part too.

''Good,'' he said, pulling her into his lap and nuzzling her neck.

She could feel his hand on her belly, under her shirt, and for a second wondered if he knew. His lips were on her ear, nibbling on it ever so slightly and she softly pushed him away. ''No,'' she said quietly, ''I don't want to have sex with you, not tonight.''

He groaned, ''okay. Can you sleep here though?''

She sighed, ''I have to get home, Lizzy-''

''Kayla is there,'' he reminded her. ''And Corrina will be there first thing in the morning to wake her up and get her to school. Please, I sleep better when you're next to me.''

She looked into his eyes. The same was true for her, and even though she had been pushing him away she still wanted to be close to him. Just for a little while she wanted to forget everything else that was going on and just stare at him as he slept. ''Okay.''

* * *

Her face was scrunched up, her hand gripping the pillow, her body going through the motions. Her soft moans had woken him up and now he couldn't help but stare—he was equal parts turned on and pissed off from the moment Lu's name had left her mouth.

Milo knew she didn't have control over this, over her dreams or even over her feelings for her partner, but it still got to him. He could feel that familiar pangs of jealousy, that feeling of wanting to claim her as his own, completely. It wasn't healthy, he knew that, but just like she couldn't change her feelings for Lu he couldn't change how he felt either.

He was lying on his side, his hand moving down from tangled in her hair, down her spine, to her ass. He gave it a slight slap and could feel her push back against his hand, his hand moved down to her underwear clad centre, surprised how wet she felt. Her hips rolled against his hand and for a second he debated on what to do, wanting to take this further but the knowledge that it wasn't him who was making her this way was killing him.

He couldn't deny that seeing Andy and Lu together had turned him on, as did the thought of them together—he had had many a dream about the very scenario, but then there were moments like this where he just wanted to claim her for himself.

Her hand released the pillow, moving down into her underwear instead. Milo swallowed hard. Her breathing was becoming faster and he knew that she was close to coming. Another orgasm that could be claimed by Lu, another one that he had nothing to do with.

Andy could feel Lu's lips on her neck; their hands in the other person's underwear as they approached the edge together, feeling the heat built in her lower belly and spread throughout her whole body. She could hear her own moans but Lu's were sounding further and further away. And then, right before she came, the feeling of tugging at her underwear woke her up.

She was lying on her stomach on the bed, her hand slick with her juices as someone-presumably Milo- was on top of her, pulling down her underwear and throwing it beside the bed. Still half asleep she raised her hips slightly, pushing back against him- silently giving her consent-, feeling him poke against her.

This was new for them. They usually didn't initiate sex while the other person was still asleep but they had set their safe word- red- a long time ago and trusted each other enough, knowing that they would both respect it. And besides, Andy had more than once woken Milo up for sex after dreaming about Lu, she had no doubt now that he knew what she had been dreaming about just seconds earlier.

The moment he slipped inside of her she came, hard. Her face was buried in the pillow, her hand gripping the sheet tightly as she could feel him move inside of her, his balls slapping against the sensitive skin on her inner thighs. His hands moved up her torso, pulling him up against her as he stilled inside of her. She leaned back against him as much as she could, sitting on his bent knees below her with her legs on either side of his'.

She could feel his hand on her throat and it brought her right back to his wedding night, to being in bed with both Nick and Peter. Being with Nick. Being pregnant with his baby. If anything could crash an orgasm that would be it. However, she didn't get the time to contemplate this as she could feel the oxygen getting cut off. Another new thing for them. Not exactly unwelcome.

His lips were close to her ear, as Lu's had been a minute before. She grinded against his lap, wanting friction.

''You are mine,'' Milo growled. ''I don't care if we're broken up, if you're sleeping with Lu,'' he thrust up against her as he said the name, eliciting a moan from Andy, ''or if you're lying next to me dreaming about someone else, _you are mine_. I'll decide whether you can come or not, not Peter, not Nick, and not Lu. Just me.''

The grip on her throat relented slightly and she gasped for air, ever so slightly feeling like she was floating. His words echoed in her ears and she could feel her own wetness run down her thigh, it wasn't as if she could hide from Milo how much he turned her on. ''I'm yours,'' she said. She meant it. She had said it before, and it hadn't changed the fact that she had still developed feelings for Lu, she and Milo had still broken up. But through it all, she had remained his.

When she stared at Lu's lips, not listening to her, she was Milo's. When she was alone in the shower and her hand seemed to automatically travel downward, she was Milo's. Even when dreaming about the beautiful Latina, an action that was beyond her control, she was still Milo's.

Milo was thrusting up into her and she could feel herself start climbing again, her head leaning back against Milo's shoulder as his hands held onto her hips. Her hand moved down to his thigh, trying to keep her balance. Her breathing was fast and her other hand moved down to her clit, Milo was close and she wanted to make sure they made it there at the same time.

''No,'' he breathed into her ear. ''Not yet. I'll tell you when you can.''

She had always considered her sensitivity to be a blessing. She usually came at least once, often twice or thrice, when she was with Milo. It wasn't particularly hard for her to get there and they weren't even weak orgasms either. But now, to be denied the permission to come… This was a challenge.

He came inside of her but his pace never even slowed down, he kept going and Andy was amazed that somehow he was still hard. No matter how hard she tried not to come she couldn't help but rock against him, moaning because of how good it felt. She had meant what she had said to Nick, that his dick was amazing, but somehow Milo's was even better.

His dick, his hands, his lips, the way his eyes bore into her soul, his words… Nothing turned her on more. She could feel his hands move to her breasts, playing with her nipples and it just about pushed her over the edge. A tear ran down her cheek. ''Fuck.'' She said under her breath. ''Please let me…''

A vague memory of trying to push Milo's buttons by telling him that Lu had made her- Andy- beg her-Lu- to make her come came back to her, and she was sure this was some kind of punishment. Payback for hurting his feelings. She knew that Milo held on to those moments, making use of them when the time was right.

She could practically hear him grin, loving the fact that even though they had been fighting a lot and despite the fact that she had feelings for someone else, she had still told him she was his, still listened to him when he had denied her her orgasm. ''Not yet.''

Her legs were shaking and she was biting on her lip so hard- trying to hold back the expletives- that she was close to drawing blood. He was pulling on her taut nipples and it hurt just the slightest bit, but in a good way. She was trying to draw in a full breath, trying to regain her composure and some control over her body, but there was no use. She was entirely in Milo's hands, and even though with every passing second she was starting to care less and less about whether he had granted her permission or not, she couldn't come. She was so close that it hurt, but physically she just couldn't do it.

He had told her no and even if her mind didn't care, her body had been listening. ''Please…'' without conscious effort she repeated the word what seemed like a thousand times. She involuntarily pushed her chest against his hand, and if her mind wasn't being flooded by chemicals she would've been embarrassed by how desperate she was for his touch.

Desperate for him to touch her in all the right places and just let her-

''Okay. Now.''

* * *

Her eyes opened ever so slightly, the bright light coming from the lamp on the bedside table hurting her eyes. She frowned, looking up into Milo's eyes. He had a wicked smile on his face and the memory of what had happened came flooding back to her. She sat up a bit, trying to remember what had happened _after_. She asked him as much.

''You passed out,'' he said. ''You actually came so hard that you passed out.'' He seemed proud of himself and she couldn't bear to break the news to him that Lu had already achieved that once before.

Her whole body was slick with sweat, a wet spot had formed under her and she moved closer to Milo, not wanting to spend the rest of the night sleeping on it. ''That was really good,'' she told him, ''even if it only happened because of…'' She didn't want to say it, knowing how he would react.

He groaned, unhappy that she had felt the need to bring it up. ''Seems like your relationship with her was good for something,'' he said, wrapping his arm around her.

She looked up at him, ''I meant what I said, you know. Even when I was with her I was still yours. No matter what happens I always will be. But I can't help how I feel about her, clearly, or I wouldn't be dreaming about her.'' She could feel her eyes fill with tears when he looked away. ''I love you, you know that, but you have to accept how I feel.''

He hesitated for a second. ''I'm glad you're not acting on those feelings, I know that that is difficult for you, but… it is difficult for me to accept that you have feelings for someone else, the same kind of feelings as the one you have for me,'' he said, ''although I suppose it is my own fault.'' He saw a frown form on her face. ''I'm the one who brought it up.''

She lightly traced patterns on his stomach as she remembered what he had said that night, and the effect it had almost immediately had on her.

''Did you have feelings for her before I brought it up?'' He asked, having never considered that possibility. It had surprised him how willing Andy had been to go along with Lu's actions the first time they were together, especially since he had been there with them, but at the time he hadn't thought it possible they were in love.

''I don't know,'' Andy admitted. ''I mean, I certainly thought she was attractive but I never considered acting on that, especially since she gave no indication that she felt the same way. I think it was only when we had sex that I realized I wanted to do that with her, and then when we started sleeping together after you and I broke up I quickly developed feelings for her—even if it did take a long time for me to admit that to myself.''

He stared at her for a few seconds. ''You really do love her, don't you?''

She swallowed hard, ''yeah, I do.''

''So why did you pick me?'' He asked, pulling away ever so slightly so he could face her more. ''If you love her so much then why did you pick me over her?''

Her hand was on his chest as she tried to find the right words to tell him how she felt. ''Because from the beginning of our relationship I've known that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,'' she said. ''You make me feel so happy, so loved, you care about me and my children, I just can't imagine anyone as amazing as you.''

He felt the same way, but there was a more pressing issue on his mind. ''So then how do you feel about Lu?'' He asked. He could see on her face that she hadn't expected that question and didn't know how to answer it right away. ''From everything that you've told me that's how you feel about her as well.''

Andy stared at him, wide-eyed. She stumbled, trying to look for words but failing. ''I don't-''

''You say that I make you happy, but you haven't looked happy since I told you I don't want you to date Lu.'' Milo said. ''You've been pulling away from me; you're staring at her… Do you honestly, whole-heartedly, believe that I could be enough for you? That you won't continue to want her?''

There was so much she wanted to say; that she loved him more, that he was actually enough, but with every passing second she started to believe those words less and less.

''You'll always be mine?''

''Always.'' She didn't skip a beat—didn't have to think twice about this answer.

''Even if you're with her?'' Milo asked. ''Even then you'll be mine.''

''Always, even then,'' Andy said, squeezing him a bit tighter. She could see him mulling things over in his head and though she desperately wanted to know what he was thinking- where he was going with this- she couldn't disturb him.

He seemed to form some kind of conclusion in his head. ''Okay.'' He said, looking Andy back in the eyes. ''Then let's discuss it. Let's talk about you and her.''


	19. The Fiddle

For some reason this took absolutely forever, very sorry for that. Had to delete a bunch of shit because I wasn't happy with this and hopefully it's better for it.

Also, *SCREAMING*, I died fangirling over the picture of Rosa and Patricia on instagram today, RIP to me :))))

* * *

 **—The Fiddle—**

* * *

Andy was leaning over a patient file at Lana's desk—pretending to be busy. In her mind she was replaying her conversation with Milo earlier that day. He hadn't exactly said yes to her being with Lu but he sounded a lot more open to it now than he had in the past—the only problem was that he wanted to know what exactly their relationship would entail and Andy had no idea how to answer that.

She didn't even know what she wanted out of their relationship, all she knew was that she had feelings for her partner—feelings that would not go away no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. Even now, whilst trying to figure out how to approach Lu about this she had somehow ended up staring at the Latina.

She had told Milo so casually that she would talk to Lu but now that the moment was here she couldn't find her words, not a problem she usually dealt with despite Lu's ability to make her that way.

''Deep thoughts huh?'' Peter asked as he slipped her the autopsy report of one of her patients. He could see the startled look on her face. ''You've been staring at that file for the past 10 minutes,'' he added. Following Andy's eye-line he ended up looking straight into Lu's office and that was all he needed to know. He had been more than once guilty of staring at attractive women and he had watched both Andy and Lu do plenty of staring for a long time now.

She could see the knowing look and grin on his face and huffed, ''I don't know what you're thinking but I'm sure it isn't it.'' She said, sure that he could never fathom what she was trying to get the courage for. He raised his eyebrows at her and she shook her head—walking over to Lu's office to prove her point. It wasn't until after her knock- whilst throwing Peter a look over her shoulder- and getting waved in that she remembered why she had been avoiding this.

How do you bring up to a woman you used to sleep with that your boyfriend might be okay with it if you started doing that again? Andy didn't even know if Lu still had feelings for her, or wanted anything to happen between them. The affectionate lingering touches certainly seemed to indicate that but knowing Lu they could be innocent as well.

Plus, all of that whilst being pregnant with another guy's baby. She couldn't believe what a mess her life had become.

Lu looked at Andy- who had her head poked through the slightly opened door- somewhat impatiently, her head propped up on her hand, ''yeah?''

Andy could see the exhaustion on Lu's face and didn't have to wonder why. It was Thursday; Lu had been up for 36 hours because of Wednesday night clinic. She stumbled looking for words, ''I can come back at another time,'' she suggested.

Lu let out a sigh and put down her pen, ''only if you come back with a 6'0'' Swedish masseur.'' She ran her hands through her hair and suppressed a yawn. All she wanted was to go home and go to sleep, but talking with Andy wasn't a terrible alternative, even if she had been pushing away her feelings since the little incident in front of Milo not too long ago.

Andy smiled, ''if I find him I'm keeping him myself,'' she answered, closing the door behind her. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out a way to naturally broach the subject. She had been pushing Lu away for so long now that it made it difficult to talk about it. ''How's the wedding planning going?'' She asked, figuring it was easier to first start out a bit more casual as opposed to immediately jumping in the deep end.

Lu groaned, ''very slowly,'' she said, ''Jonas isn't home all that often, and when he is home he's very distant…'' Considering how Andy had seemed to be distancing herself as well it made it even harder to talk about it, ''ever since he came to talk to you a few weeks ago… he said he was okay with us being together as long as he didn't know about it, but he's been asking about it a lot.''

Andy nodded as she sat down, ''he just wants you to himself,'' she said.

''He's not nearly as bad as Morton,'' Lu said. She had gained way more insight into Andy and Milo's relationship than she had ever intended, and seeing the amount of control Milo seemed to have over Andy at times was somewhat concerning. ''He is way too jealous and possessive.''

''He's different when you are around,'' Andy argued back. ''You guys are friends, you know what he was like when we weren't together,'' she said, ''you just happened to catch him during some bad moments.'' The memory of the night she and Milo had broken up—when Lu had come over and slept over—came to mind.

''I don't think he likes me very much at the moment,'' Lu said. They had been relatively good friends for quite a long time but their dynamic had shifted since he had come back. ''I don't think he and I can be friends as long as you two are together.'' She could see Andy start to protest but was quick to interrupt her, ''you've seen the way he acts when I'm around.''

Andy hesitated, ''that's only because he knows how I feel about you,'' she said.

Lu frowned, ''he knows we aren't together anymore, and haven't been for a long time,'' she said. ''When I just stand next to you he starts to get pissed off, even when I just look at you,'' she pursed her lips, ''I'm surprised he hasn't hit Nick to be honest.''

Andy wasn't surprised. Nick wasn't deemed a threat to their relationship, whereas Lu was an entirely different story. ''It's because he knows how I feel about you,'' she repeated, ''how I feel about you despite us not… being together.'' She had a straight face, in slight disbelief that she was actually doing this, waiting patiently for Lu to respond.

''What are you saying?'' Lu asked, her voice ever so slight thick. At first glance it sounded like Andy was admitting romantic feelings, but she had been burned too many times to take anything at face value.

Feeling like she might have to spell it out made Andy instinctually want to back-peddle a bit. ''You know I love you,'' she said, she had said it plenty of times before. ''As more than just a friend.''

Lu could feel a rush of emotions going through her and she didn't know right away how to respond. ''Does Milo know?'' Immediately remembering that Andy had just said that Milo knew.

''He came to me about this,'' Andy said. ''I told him how I feel about you and he said that he thinks I'm happier when I'm with you.''

''Are you two breaking up?'' Lu asked, very confused by it all. She knew how happy Andy had been when Milo decided to split up with Sandra, and she didn't quite understand what was happening between them now.

''We're not.''

''Then what are you saying?'' Lu asked. She could see Andy struggling to find the right words and it slowly dawned on her what was going on. ''You want to date both of us?'' Andy was looking down at her hands, not responding. ''And you think Milo would be okay with that? A week ago I touched your hair and he looked like he wanted to attack me,'' Lu said, ''I really don't think he's okay with this.''

''I don't know why he changed his mind,'' Andy said. Technically she wasn't even sure he had, he had only spoken about the possibility of Lu and her being maybe something that was yet to be determined. ''He just said that if that's what we both wanted then maybe we should discuss the logistics of what that would look like.''

''…Okay…''

''I guess I just want to know if that's something you'd be interested in.''

* * *

Her eyes were on the patient file, her pen in her hand, her brain desperately trying to focus on the task at hand, but her mind was pre-occupied. ''Let me think about it.'' That's all Lu had said. That had been the end of their conversation an hour earlier, and every second since then had passed by agonizingly slow.

She had phoned home to let Lizzy know she wouldn't be home for dinner. She had ignored every one of Milo's calls. She had filed and re-filed patient files, trying to keep herself busy and not let every possible answer Lu could possibly have consume her.

''I can't spend the rest of my life playing second fiddle to Milo.''

Andy looked up, confused. For over 60 minutes now every single one of her thoughts had been focused on what Lu could possibly say, and yet she hadn't noticed her standing in the doorway. ''Huh?''

Lu walked over to Andy, sitting down on the edge of the desk in front of Andy's office chair. ''I love you, and I want to be with you, but you're with Milo. You two are actually together, will probably get married one day. No matter how much I like you, and miss what we had, I can't go back to what we had. The sneaking around…'' she took Andy's hands into her own. ''If we are going to be together, I want us to actually be together.''

''Like an actual couple?'' Andy asked. Milo had said that he was open to listening to what they wanted, but she couldn't imagine him ever going for this.

Lu gave a slight nod. ''I want it to be more than sex,'' she said, ''I want to be able to hold your hand and have Milo be okay with that, I want to be able to go out for dinner, and actually have breakfast in the morning instead of having sex and immediately going our separate ways.''

''You know that I can't go public with our relationship,'' Andy said, figuring it was obvious. ''I have my daughters to consider, my career… I want to one day be surgeon general, I can't do that if I'm with you, that's just a scandal waiting to happen.''

Lu let go of Andy's hands and ran them through her hair, making up her mind. ''Then I guess you have some thinking to do.''

* * *

''The girls will be spending Christmas with their father so we'll have the whole house to ourselves,'' Andy said as she stirred the spaghetti. ''You'll be pleased to know I bought a new bed,'' she said with a smile.

Lizzy was already in bed, and Milo had decided to come over to keep her company as she made dinner at 10 in the evening. She was trying to enjoy her time with Milo—knowing that he was going to be very busy at work the next couple of weeks—and tried to push her conversation with Lu to the back of her mind. She had always known they could never actually work, she just hadn't expected herself to be the reason why.

''I can't wait,'' Milo said as he tasted some of the sauce. It sounded like Andy was telling him that they weren't going to spend any nights together until then—Christmas was over a month away—and he couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with Lu. She had told him that she was going to talk to Lu that day and he was dying to hear how it had gone. He wrapped his arms around Andy as he stood behind her, and buried his face in her neck.

Andy laughed at the ticklish sensation and tried to duck away from him. She didn't want to be loud and wake up Lizzy but Milo was making it difficult. She turned around and faced him, burying her face in his chest. ''I talked to Lu today,'' she said, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room.

By the tone of her voice he could already guess how it had gone, but he held out hope that he was wrong. ''How did it go?'' He asked.

Andy swallowed hard, ''she said that she loves me,'' she said. She could feel him start to pull away but held on to him even closer. She knew that the moment she looked into his eyes she was going to burst into tears. In her head she blamed it on the pregnancy.

Milo frowned, ''isn't that what you wanted?'' He asked her, rubbing circles on her back. Every single, touch, glance, smile… every single thing that happened between Andy and Lu made it evident that they wanted to be together, even he—who had been deeply in denial about it for a long time—could see it. He didn't understand Andy's reaction.

Andy finally pulled away, leaning back against the counter and looking at Milo, ''she wants us to be a couple, to have it be more than just sex,'' she said. ''She said that she doesn't want to feel like our relationship is secondary to what you and I have.'' She recapped the rest of her and Lu's conversation for Milo.

''It's too bad,'' Milo said as he watched her drain the spaghetti.

Andy threw him a look, ''what? You'd be okay with it?'' She asked him. ''With her and I going on dates and doing all the stuff you and I usually do together.''

Milo took a deep breath, ''I could do without that,'' he said. Andy nodded, that was the reaction she had expected in the first place. ''I just mean you two being together,'' he could see the confused look on Andy's face. ''You could go spend an evening with her and then come home and I could punish you,'' he said, a grin on his face as he rubbed her ass. ''Could be kind of fun.''

''You're gross,'' Andy said with a smile. ''Is that all you think about it?''

He kissed her softly, pushing her up against the wall. ''It is when I'm alone with you,'' he said.

Her smile quickly faded. ''Lizzy is upstairs,'' Andy said, she could feel him start to unbutton her shirt and softly pushed him away. He made it difficult to think straight, which was exactly what she needed to do with everything that was going on.

''If we're quiet she'll never find out,'' Milo said, still touching her as she scooped her dinner onto her plate.

''She could walk in on us,'' Andy said. Lizzy was a restless sleeper who found a million excuses each night to get up, it wasn't out of the question that she could wander downstairs.

''Oh come on,'' Milo said, ''you've been pushing me away so much lately, what is going on?'' He watched her as she walked around the kitchen and eventually settled down at the table to eat, all the while avoiding his eyes. ''Is it something I did? Is it to do with Lu?''

Andy swallowed her first bite and listened to his questions. This was unfair. She was making him feel bad and it didn't even have anything to do with him. She looked up and could feel tears burn her eyes; she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by him.

''Just tell me what I did and I'll try to fix it,'' Milo said. He had hoped that allowing her to with Lu would be enough but evidently not. ''Talk to me.''

''Milo, I'm pregnant.''


	20. The Decision

So.. wrote two versions of this chapter, and only decided just now that I was going to post this version. I'm sure the decision I made won't be popular but whatever.

Anyways, **wishing everybody a happy 2019!** May it be everyone's best year yet, and I hope to regale you all with my stories this new year :)

* * *

 **—The Decision—**

* * *

Andy was sitting in the bathroom, pill in one hand, glass of water in the other. She had been staring down at them for the past couple of minutes, trying to get herself to actually take them. It had been a little over an hour since she had told Milo she was pregnant, how it was Nick's and how she didn't intend to keep it.

She knew Milo had always been a bit iffy about having kids. After much debate he and his ex-wife had decided not to have any—which in the end was clearly for the best. She had seen the relief on his face when he found out he _wasn't_ going to be a father, the relief he had had that she was turning him down because of this baby as opposed to something he had done.

His reaction was exactly the kind of push she needed. It had been two weeks since she had found out, she had had the pills all that time, but she had been unable to force herself to take them. She didn't want this baby; she didn't want to co-parent with Nick of all people, but since hearing the heartbeat…

''Milo, could you come in here?'' She asked, leaning over and unlocking the door.

''What's going on?'' He asked, closing the door behind him quietly. Lizzy was still asleep in her bed and they didn't want to risk her walking in on anything.

She looked up at him, ''I can't do it.'' She put the water down on the edge of the sink next to her. ''I don't want this baby, at all, but I can't do this.'' He looked away from her and it made her stomach sink a little. She would choose Milo over just about anyone and anything—she had made that more than clear—but that didn't mean she didn't sometimes need an extra push in the right direction. ''Tell me what to do.''

''I can't tell you what to do, you know that.'' Milo said.

''You love telling me what to do,'' Andy said, knowing that she was taking his controlling tendencies completely out of context.

''There is a difference between telling you to hike up your skirt and lean over my desk, and telling you to abort your unborn child,'' Milo said dryly. ''I can't make this decision for you, and I don't want to.'' He could see the conflicting emotions in Andy's eyes. ''I should go home, give you room to think about this.''

Andy watched him leave the bathroom, could hear the front door downstairs shut not a minute later. She paced around the bathroom for a little while longer before sitting down with a sigh. For a second she turned her mind off, downing the pill and the glass of water before her mind could protest. She had made her decision, she just wasn't sure she'd still feel the same way in the morning.

* * *

As always her alarm went off at 5 on the dot. Rolling over she found her youngest daughter fast asleep next to her, blonde hair covering her face as she was snoring quietly. Sliding out from under the covers, Andy ignored the November cold.

Slowly the memories of the night before started coming back to her. In the bathroom she took the second of the two pills, a painkiller, and a shower. Abortion or not, there were patients waiting for her at the hospital.

* * *

''What's going on with you?'' Nick asked as he gently escorted her into one of the exam rooms. It had been not two minutes since one of Andy's patients had been admitted following a heart attack, but now that she had been he could focus on Andy. From the moment she had entered the ER he had known something was wrong. He watched her as she sat down. Her face was pale, she was sweating, and she was slightly hunched over clutching her stomach.

Andy raised her head up, ''it's nothing, I'm fine.'' If it had been anyone else asking her she might have told them, but not Nick. ''I just need to go home, lie down for a bit and then I'll be good as new. I'm sure it's just a 24 hour thing.'' Her whole day had been hell, but she had gotten through it. It was almost the end of her shift—close to 9 at night—and even though she had been able to avoid Nick most of the day, she knew he wouldn't just let her feeling sick go.

The cramps had been stronger than the painkillers, and there was almost too much blood to keep up with it. It had been within the first two hours of being at the hospital that Andy got used to people asking her if she was sick and asking if she needed to lie down or go home. All day she dreamt about the moment her shift was up and she could go home and curl up with a hot water bottle. It was a nice change of pace from thinking about Lu.

Nick didn't believe her for a second. ''Just let me check you out real quick, it'll take five minutes.'' He said. He could see Andy start to protest but was quick to nip it in the bud. ''Do it for me, give me some peace of mind.'' He gave her his signature smile, but it didn't seem to do much for her now like it had in the past.

She knew that he wasn't going to let this go, and that her refusing an examination would only make him more insistent. Reluctantly she grabbed onto his hand and sat back on the exam table, all the while her mind racing trying to figure out how to tell him about the medication she had taken, wondering how he would respond to it. He knew that he had broken up with her predecessor Dr Stowe because he didn't want to have children yet, but she had no idea how he felt about it now.

He wasn't lying when he said he just needed five minutes. ''Fever of a 102.7,'' he whistled softly, ''heart rate 76, BP 120/82, distended abdomen,'' he looked down at her chart. He had just started the examination to check if there was anything wrong that he could find, he hadn't bothered taking her background yet. ''Do you know when this started?''

Andy hesitated, ''this morning.'' She said. She wasn't exactly being forthcoming with all of this, but she was stalling.

''Did you eat anything out of the ordinary?'' He asked, '' any medication maybe? Anything at all.'' He looked up from his chart and immediately knew that she knew exactly what was causing this. ''Andy? What's going on?''

She looked at him quietly for a minute, ''I had an abortion. I took the second pill this morning,'' she told him.

Nick seemed to take a few minutes to process this. He had expected her to have the flu or possibly food poisoning. ''Was it…'' he started, motioning towards himself as he backed away from her.

For a second she contemplated lying to him and telling him that it had been Milo's baby, but given the fact that he had never been anything but honest with her that seemed unfair. ''It was yours, ''she confirmed.

Nick ran his hands through his hair, ''why didn't you tell me?'' He asked. He tried to figure out how this could've happened. They were always so careful, always used protection… His mind slowly drifted back to the one time that the condom broke… 8 or 9 weeks ago now. He tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

''I knew I wasn't going to keep it,'' Andy said, grabbing his hand in an effort to get him to stop pacing around, ''I didn't think you'd ever find out, me telling you wasn't going to do either of us any good.''

Up until this point having a child eventually had just been a concept, but the thought that there had almost been one running around, it threw him off his game a bit. ''You didn't even ask me if I wanted it,'' he said.

''Nick, no offense, but I do not want to raise a child with you,'' Andy said. ''What we had was wonderful while it lasted but it's not as if we had feelings for each other, we certainly never planned to have children together…'' She could see him start to get a bit mad and she honestly hadn't counted on that happening. ''I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just did what I thought was best—for both of us.''

Nick shook his head and stood back, he opened his mouth to argue back but nothing came out. ''I'll get Matt Lin in here to finish the exam,'' he said, leaving the exam room before Andy could protest.

After a moment of doubt she decided not to chase after him. If there was anything she had learnt about him it was that sometimes he just needed to be alone, even if his version of being alone often included a woman whose name he probably wouldn't remember the next morning.

That was his prerogative.

* * *

Andy could see how exhausted Milo was the moment she stepped into his office—still, his face lit up when he saw her. She usually immediately made her way over to him as soon as the door had closed behind her, but this time she hung back, leaning against the solid oak. She could see in his eyes that it raised some questions.

''It's gone.''

''The baby?'' Milo asked. He walked over to her and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her down onto the couch. He had had back-to-back surgeries all day, and his shift was far from over, but as always he found time to spend with Andy. ''Why are you so warm?'' He asked as he pulled her close to him.

''Yes, the baby,'' Andy said, burying her face in his chest. ''I got an infection from the abortion—endometritis—, hence the fever. Matt prescribed antibiotics I have to take, it'll be fine,'' she said, knowing how much Milo worried over her.

Milo sighed with relief, ''so how do you feel about it now?'' He asked. He had seen how doubtful she had been of her decision to terminate the night before.

Andy shrugged though she could feel tears burn in her eyes, ''it was the right decision.'' She could feel Milo looking intently at her, and swallowed back her thoughts. It had been weird when Matt did the sonogram and there was no heartbeat, and she hadn't expected it to affect her as much as it did, but part of her didn't want to tell Milo that. ''It was the best decision,'' she said, forcing a small smile. She looked down at her hands, twisting her ring around a few times, ''Nick found out. He is mad that I didn't tell him, that I didn't include him in the decision.''

''You had to make this decision yourself,'' Milo said, ''I'm sure he'll come around once he has had some time to process it.'' Andy nodded slowly in response and he could sense how uncomfortable she was. ''Speaking of children,'' he could tell that got her attention, ''do you think you and I will…?'' He asked. He had been thinking about it all day, since she had told him the night before. Somehow it had only come up once during their whole relationship—when his mother had told them that if he had stayed with his ex-wife then at least his kids wouldn't be `all mixed up`.

Still, since being with Andy and meeting her daughters and spending time with them, he had slowly warmed up to the idea. He knew this probably wasn't the best time to bring it up but it seemed to at least somewhat distract her from what was going on.

Andy hesitated, ''are we sure that's an option?'' She could see the confusion on his face. ''With Nick the condom only broke once and I got pregnant… you and I never use protection and nothing ever happened,'' she said. She could see realization slowly start to set in. She took a deep breath. ''If you're serious about this then maybe you should get tested.''

* * *

Andy wasn't entirely sure how she had ended up here—as in, she knew how, she just didn't know _how_. She had left the hospital after her talk with Milo, gotten in her car, and without a second thought had driven here. There hadn't even been a decision, only a fleeting thought of how she was happy that Lizzy had started sleeping over at a friend's house every Friday.

She had been standing outside for a few minutes, doubting her decision to come here at all, but she felt too sick to keep standing here all night. Her hand hovered over the doorbell but the door swung open before she rang it. Seeing Marc's tired face in front of hers took her aback, she had no idea he was home from college again.

''Dr. Campbell?'' He asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he had seen her standing in front of the door when he had gone down to get some water, half expecting it to be Jonas looking for his keys when he opened the door, although his mother's fiancé wasn't due home for another couple of days.

''Marc,'' Andy acknowledged, ''is your mom here?'' She asked. Andy knew that Jonas was out of town—as he often was—and had hoped for some time alone with Lu.

''Yeah, she's upstairs,'' Marc said, opening the door a little further to let Andy in. He had a confused look on his face but ultimately decided not to bother. It was too late and he was too tired to question her being there, especially after he had found her and Lu asleep together a few weeks earlier. He figured his mom would tell him if there was anything he needed to know.

Andy watched him head off towards the kitchen and closed the front door quietly behind her. She had expected Lu to open the door and fire off a million questions, especially after what she had said the day before about their relationship, now she didn't know what to do.

After another glance to the kitchen she headed up the stairs, there was no use in standing in the hallway all evening, plus that would most likely mean bumping into Marc again which she liked to avoid at all cost. Going up the stairs and down to the end of the hall, she paused in front of the door, taking a deep breath.

She had gone into Lu and Jonas' bedroom before, but they had always been brief moments. The sound of the door closing behind Andy seemed to wake Lu the tiniest bit and she rolled over.

''Marc?'' Lu asked, burying her face into the pillow again as she tried to wake herself up a bit. It was taking some getting used to, to have someone else in the house again, though she couldn't say she wasn't glad her son was coming over more often nowadays.

''Lu,'' Andy said quietly, tentatively taking a step closer to the bed.

Lu sat up a bit and turned on the light on the bedside table, her eyes focusing on the pale woman on the other side of the room. ''Ands? What are you doing here?'' Andy was just about the last person she had expected to show up, especially after their talk the day before and how Andy had been avoiding her all day today. The latter of which she had taken as an answer to the first part.

Andy swallowed hard, unsure of the answer herself. ''I just needed to see you,'' she said, the very simple truth. She could hear Lu groan, and almost turned around and left right there and then. ''I can leave if you want me to.''

Lu looked at her partner with one eye, contemplating it for a second. Andy had made it clear how she felt the day before, and after that—if Lu was being honest—she wanted nothing more than to just stay away from her for however long it took for her feelings to fade, but she couldn't lie and say she didn't miss Andy falling asleep next to her. Even if that had even been rare when they _were_ together.

Watching Lu lift up the covers, Andy kicked off her shoes and slid in beside her, not caring that she still had her work clothes on. She could feel Lu put her arms around her and it was the safest she had felt in a long time. Her head was buried below Lu's, their bodies pressed firmly together, both having missed this for too long.

Andy sighed. She wasn't sure if Lu was still awake—knowing how little time it took her to doze off—but it didn't matter. She was biting her lip to keep from crying as all the emotions she had been pushing down came bubbling up, finally feeling safe enough to let them out, even if she didn't want this precious moment alone to be spent crying.

Through all her emotions and despite all her feelings, Andy couldn't think of anywhere else she'd want to be.


	21. The Date

Sorry for the late update this week, it's a difficult week for me and personal shit always affects my writing -_-

Also, living for instagram now! So excited to see a Strong Medicine post on Rosa's insta! Also, I started a discord chat group for Strong Medicine fans, if you want to join, the link is on my profile :)))

* * *

 **—The Date—**

* * *

''I slept over at Lu's house, last Friday,'' Andy said. She would be lying if she said she wasn't getting sick of Milo's hotel room, but the bed was comfier than the one she had at home. She was lying down next to Milo, his arm around her as he held her close. She wasn't there for anything more—despite her going through with the abortion she still didn't feel like having sex with Milo, or anyone else for that matter.

The lack of audible response coming from Milo was the only part she had expected. He hadn't stiffened up next to her like she had expected, he didn't hold his breath for a few seconds and then sigh, like he usually did. She rolled onto her stomach so she could actually face him, ''did you hear me?'' She asked, trying not to make it sound like she was provoking him.

After a second he nodded. ''I heard you,'' was his curt response. He looked into her eyes, knowing that she wanted to know what he thought of that. ''Did you and she talk about…'' he tried to find the right words, ''your… arrangement.''

''It's not a business deal,'' Andy said, chuckling at his word-choice. ''And no, we didn't. We didn't talk at all, in fact, just slept.'' Despite the lack of response, which she knew was Milo's default choice; she knew it at least bothered him somewhat. ''I'm not telling you this to upset you, or make you jealous; I just want to be honest with you, like I said I would.''

Milo pulled away from her, hesitating for a second before getting off the bed completely, pacing around the room for a second. ''I want to propose something,'' he said, the look on her face urged him to continue. ''Next Monday I have to go to California for almost a week, for a medical conference,'' he said, knowing that she already knew this, ''and I'm going to be swamped afterwards with surgeries.''

He looked at her, making up his mind on this. ''What do you say you take this month just to see where this thing you and she have is going. You don't have to check-in with me at all, you won't have to tell me what you guys are doing and I won't ask; you just take this time to figure out what you want with her, what you want with me… and then we'll regroup at Christmas.'' He figured throwing in a military term for her in there wouldn't hurt.

Andy hesitated, mulling it over. ''Are you sure about this?'' She asked. Even though they weren't being intimate she still couldn't imagine not getting to see him for almost a whole month. She shared everything with him; and if there was one thing she had been certain about throughout everything that had happened, it was that she wanted to be with him.

''I just feel like it would be best for now,'' Milo said, holding Andy's hands in his own as she sat on the edge of the bed. ''You'll go live it up here, with or without Lu, whatever you want. And I'll go to California, give a lecture, attend some lectures, sleep a lot, and…'' He didn't continue, he hadn't actually made any plans other than that just yet.

''Visit Leslie,'' Andy suggested with a chuckle, referring to her ex-husband. It was the only thing she could think of in California; Milo didn't exactly have a lot of ties to that particular state. Even though she was joking, Milo had actually developed somewhat of a friendship with Leslie before Milo had broken up with her over a year ago.

''Maybe I will,'' Milo said, ''it doesn't matter.'' He got down on his knees in front of her, ''just figure out what it is you want.''

* * *

Andy's hands were on Lu's shoulders, softly pushing her up against the wall. Their lips were inches from the others, their eyes staring at each other. Andy wasn't entirely sure how she had ended up here—again. They were talking about a patient, being each other's sounding board as always, and suddenly she just had the urge to kiss her.

Lu looked back and forth between Andy's green eyes, she was tempted to lean forward and press their lips together, but it wasn't what she truly wanted. She had made it abundantly clear to Andy what she wanted, what her conditions were for even attempting to be together in any way. Giving in now—as tempted as she was—it wasn't the deal she had made with herself. She was going to stay away, wait for her feelings to die out and then rebuild their friendship from there.

She had had a plan. A plan that was quickly fading from her memory. She took a deep breath and licked her lips, ''I haven't changed my mind,'' she said, trying to control her breathing. Where before it had looked like Andy was trying to fight the urge to kiss her, she now seemed to back off a little. But just a little. Her hands were still on Lu's shoulders, parts of their bodies still pressed together.

Andy was trying to remember what Lu had said. She had been so caught up in her own mind that Lu's words had failed to register. ''What?'' She asked, trying to refocus her brain, not focusing on Lu's lips as much, not focusing on how she was at the mercy of her hormones.

She had spent the previous Friday night at Lu's house, sleeping curled up next to her. It had only added fuel to the fire, made Lu somehow even more irresistible. The pain from her abortion had ended on Saturday night, though she was still on antibiotics for the infection. She had stayed away from both Lu and Milo—just like she had when she was pregnant—but it was becoming more and more difficult every day.

Milo she didn't really have to see if she didn't want to—although he hadn't left for California yet—, but Lu was right there; they ran into each other dozens of times every single day. They hadn't spoken about Andy coming over, both somewhat avoiding the other.

''I haven't changed my mind,'' Lu repeated, ''I don't want us to just fool around and call it a night. Just because I let you sleep over at my house, just because I'm not pushing you away right now… it doesn't mean I changed my mind about that.''

Andy nodded slowly. Lu slipped away from beneath Andy's hands and walked to behind her desk, trying to create some kind of distance between them. It made it easier to breathe, to think clearly. Andy put her hand on the door handle, doubting between straight up leaving and forcing out the words that she wanted to say badly.

''What're you doing Friday evening?'' Andy asked, pushing the door handle down, her hand shaking just the tiniest bit.

Lu looked up from the mess of patient files in front of her on her desk, trying to gather her thoughts. A frown crossed her face, ''nothing, far as I know.'' She sat down, going over her schedule of the week in her head. Jonas might come home at the end of the week, but she wasn't sure.

''Okay. Friday night, we'll go out for dinner… I'll pick you up at 8.''

* * *

She'd be lying if she said it wasn't awkward. Andy had decided to take Lu to a small diner downtown, knowing that Lu would feel more comfortable there than in the kind of restaurants she and Milo frequented. It wasn't as if they didn't have anything to say to each other—it was actually the exact opposite, there was so much that neither of them really knew where to begin.

''So… what about Jonas?'' Andy asked, finally looking up from her plate, back at the brown eyes in front of her. It was a question that had been plaguing her for a while now and there seemed to be no better time than the present to ask it.

''I don't think he's coming back until Sunday,'' Lu said between bites. She wasn't sure what to make of this night—she had simply thrown on the dress she usually wore on first dates and decided to go with whatever happened. She had left her engagement ring home; she didn't think Andy would mind that.

Andy shook her head, ''no, I mean, if we were to be together then how would he fit into that equation?''

''He wouldn't,'' Lu said. She had thought about this a lot, and this was the only logical conclusion. She couldn't imagine breaking it off with him, but even less so she couldn't imagine staying with him. Not forever. It had taken her a long time to fall in love with him, but she had fallen hard. It had taken her equally as long to fall out of love with him. It had been a gradual process, set in motion by him pulling away after she told him about what she and Andy had done after their first time together.

He had become increasingly distant and—even though she knew his job was very demanding and he worked very hard to built his company—he spent more time at the office than he had to. He spent more time away on business trip than necessary.

Their relationship had never quite recovered, and Lu couldn't imagine that ever changing.

Lu could see the slight confusion on Andy's face. Even though they did discuss their relationships from time to time, Lu had never really brought up just how often Jonas was away from home. She said as much, ''and I don't want to spend the rest of my life married to a man who is never there,'' she added. She reached across the table to Andy's hand, ''if you're serious about this, and Milo is too, then… I've made my decision.''

''I can't ask you to do that,'' Andy said. She wasn't sure what she had expected Lu to say but she knew it wasn't this.

''You're not asking me.'' Lu reminded her. She didn't know what to make of Andy's face in that moment, ''what's the problem?''

Andy almost stuttered, ''I just feel like you would be giving up a lot,'' she said. She could see Lu wasn't particularly worried about it. ''Getting married, having kids… not to mention him, as a person…'' It was left unspoken but they both knew that his money had also been taken into consideration.

''You know I don't care about his money.'' Andy couldn't argue with that. ''As for kids, I have Marc. Look, Andy… I lived my life for 34 years without him, and I have no problem living the rest of my life without him.'' She could see Andy still had doubts. ''The whole picket fence thing, married with two-and-a-half kids… I've never fit that mold and lately I've been thinking that maybe it's just not for me. And I'm okay with that.''

Andy stared at Lu. The reason why it had been so difficult to admit her romantic feelings for Lu was exactly because the 'white picket fence, married with two-and-a-half kids' had always been her ideal. It was what her parents had modeled to her and it is what she had tried to hold onto up until the moment her marriage to Les crumbled. She had internalized that ideal, and to hear Lu just wave it away like this…

''Point is, I want to see where this is going,'' Lu said, referring to their relationship. ''I know it doesn't exactly fit societal standards, and it isn't what either of us imagined our life to be like, but I have feelings for you and I want to be with you. I want to give this a real shot.''

Andy didn't know where she'd be twenty-five years from now, but she knew that if she didn't take this chance she'd regret it forever. And why wouldn't she take this chance? It sounded like Milo was opening up to the idea, and it was giving her hope that all the other worries she had had about pursuing this relationship would prove to be unfounded as well.

With a smile she squeezed Lu's hand, ''okay.''

* * *

They didn't discuss the relationship any further. Lu's house was closer and Marc had announced earlier that day that he'd be gone for the weekend, and that was all they had needed to know.

Closing the door behind her, Andy could feel butterflies in her stomach. It had been a while since they had done this, and she had never felt particularly confident in her skills when it came to having sex with Lu. She knew how to make Milo putty in her hands, but Lu was a different story.

Lu flicked the light switch, illuminating the hallway and she slipped out of her coat. ''Do you want something to drink?'' She asked. She was well aware that Andy liked to talk things over, and for her Lu was perfectly willing to do just that. She turned to her and immediately recognized the look Andy had on her face.

With just a few steps she closed the distance between them, lips crashing into each other as Andy's back hit the front door. Some soft moans came from Andy and they were like music to Lu's ears. Her hands somehow landed in Andy's hair and only moved down from there, caressing every piece of bare skin she came across. She grabbed the hem of Andy's dress, dipping her hand under it and into Andy's panties. The slickness of it covered her hand, but she wasn't complaining. She circled Andy's clit only a few times before withdrawing her hand—raising her thigh up to between Andy's legs instead—, just to give her a taste of what they could have, reminding her how good they were at this together.

They both knew that sleeping with each other would greatly influence their perspective on their relationship and whether or not it was working, but neither of them particularly cared. Lu's hands were on Andy's cheeks, she was kissing her deeply as they were pushing back against each other. They had both missed this and it made them all the more eager to hurry on up.

Andy could feel Lu massage her breast, flicking the nipple, and she sucked Lu's bottom lip into her mouth. It felt like Lu's hands were everywhere, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend a Friday evening. She both wanted to hurry up and get to the main—and best—part as quickly as possible, as well as drag it out and show Lu just how much she loved her.

With a lot of effort Andy managed to pull herself away from Lu, feeling like she was addicted and needed to go in for another fix. No matter how much she loved making out with Lu, she was ready to move on. Ready to taste her after what had felt like an eternity. She grabbed the hem of Lu's black dress as she spun them around— Lu's back hitting the door—and she sunk to her knees. She appreciated Lu dressing up, truly she did, and the black lace underwear had been a nice touch, but now she just wanted it all off.

She pulled off the panties, flinging them somewhere behind her without caring where. One of Lu's legs was slung over Andy's shoulder as she dove in. The sour juices were somehow the best thing she had ever had. She flattened her tongue against Lu's clit; applying pressure and setting a rhythm as the memory of exactly what Lu liked came flooding back to her.

It wasn't as if she had ever actually forgotten this. Since their breakup she had had many dreams about doing it, and especially lately she had been daydreaming about exactly this. Having Lu pushed up against the wall, and burying her face under Lu's dress and making her come over and over again with her tongue and fingers.

Her fingers were digging into Lu's thighs as she darted her tongue into Lu, eliciting a moan. Lu wasn't always the most vocal but when she was it was like music to Andy's ears. Knowing that she could make her feel that good made her proud.

She brought her hand up and pushed a finger in, waiting a minute before adding another one. Pumping in and out of her she could feel herself get wetter as well. Now that she could, all she wanted to do was fuck Lu into oblivion. To go up into the bedroom and not come out for a couple of days. Feeling Lu clamp her walls around Andy's fingers, her body arching away from the door, a couple of curses hanging in the air… Andy couldn't believe how much she had missed this.

Lu looked down at Andy on her knees in front of her, she had a fistful of Andy's hair clutched in her hand and it reminded her of how Milo had been in charge when they slept together—or at least he had been the one time Lu had walked in on them.

She pulled Andy back up and dragged her up the stairs behind her. They used to always go into the guestroom—Lu had always felt more comfortable with that—but now that Marc was staying in there it wasn't an option anymore, and she didn't care that much about her and Jonas' bed anymore that she wouldn't use it in a situation like this.

Lu pushed Andy backwards onto the bed before straddling her. She looked down at the woman under her, not believing her luck that this was finally happening. She pushed Andy's hair away from her face, softly stroking her cheek and just taking a moment to make sure she'd never forget this.

''Are you okay?'' Andy asked, reaching up to Lu.

Lu pushed Andy's hand away, determined to at least be somewhat in charge. She lifted her dress over her head and tossed it to the side before looking back at Andy, trying to figure out what approach she should take. She reached behind her to undo her bra clasp and let it fall down her arms and flinging it across the room.

It took a few seconds for Andy to realize she was staring. She had dealt with plenty of sexist men in her day—the army was full of them—and had never quite gotten why you would stare at a woman's chest. What could possibly be so amazing about boobs? But in this moment, she suddenly got it.

Lu scooted up Andy's body before turning around—facing away from Andy—and straddling her face.

Andy could feel Lu's juices dripping down into her mouth, and it made her mouth water all the more. She put her arms around Lu's thighs—holding her in place—and her hands landed on Lu's ass. The round cheeks filled her hands. She sucked Lu's swollen clit into her mouth, feeling her partner almost jump off when she lightly grazed it with her teeth.

Andy lapped up all of Lu's juices, alternating between licking and sucking and quickly finding a good balance between the two.

She could feel Lu's hands on her boobs, playing with the nipples through the fabric of her dress and bra. She pushed her chest up against Lu's hands, wishing she had taken her dress off before getting onto the bed. Andy had known this had been a possibility for tonight, and had prepared well. She had taken a long shower, shaved all the hair that needed shaving and trimmed her curls. She had worn the red dress that looked so good on her that Milo had more than once torn it off of her.

She had been excited to get into that dress—hoping that it would do to Lu what it had done to Milo—she mostly just wanted to get out of it.

The garment didn't seem to stop Lu though. She pushed up Andy's dress, her eyes falling on the moist cotton panties Andy was wearing. That was a good sign. She palmed Andy through her panties, needing her focus so as to not lose her balance as she could feel her orgasm approaching.

Lu's legs were shaking, moans falling out of her mouth. The whole room went black for a second and all she could think about was getting Andy to that same place as quickly as possible. She was still riding her orgasm as she pushed Andy's panties down to her knees and dove in headfirst. She was copying Andy's movements; mindless repetition seemed easier than figuring out a pattern herself.

She could hear Andy moan, feelings her lips vibrate against her clit and it almost send her over the edge again. She could feel Andy's leg already shaking and was glad for how quickly Andy seemed to be able to reach orgasm. It made her want to keep her in bed all weekend and try to see to how many they could get; in that moment reminding herself of Milo. That seemed like something he would be up for as well.

Andy's head was spinning. All she wanted to do was to get Lu to the edge again, but her mind was getting foggy. She was trying to control her breathing, attempting to focus more on Lu than her own orgasm.

Downstairs she could hear the front door open, but it barely registered. She was moaning against Lu's centre and could feel Lu's thighs shaking. Andy's hand dropped to her side, gripping the sheet tightly until her knuckles turned white, she was so close but could feel something holding her back.

Her mind went completely blank, she was so close to cumming she could almost taste it and she couldn't help but shut her eyes and try to force herself over the edge—failing miserably. It wasn't long before she gave up, deciding she'd much rather focus on Lu for once. As she did the memory of what she had heard came back to her, and she wasn't too surprised when she opened her eyes only to see Jonas standing in the doorway.


	22. The Loyalty

**—The Loyalty—**

* * *

Andy's wide eyes were on Jonas, who was looking at them in shock. He had come home early from his business trip to surprise Lu, determined to once again make their relationship a priority after months of things being strained. He had expected to walk in on her being vast asleep, needing to catch up on some zzzs after a long week of long days at the clinic—as always.

Lu had not noticed he had walked in, her vision being shielded by Andy's thighs, the sound of the doors and footsteps being overshadowed by the sounds Andy had been making. Andy, who was now pulling away for reasons Lu didn't quite understand. She somewhat turned around to check, to make sure Andy was alright, when her eyes fell on Jonas.

Her jaw dropped just as his had, and she stumbled, trying to look for words. They were in a rather compromising position, and she tried to find a way to elegantly disengage without accidentally crushing any of Andy's body parts—she glanced over at Andy, hoping that she had some idea as to what to do. ''J, what are you doing home?'' She asked, sitting back on the bed and pulling the covers over her body. She watched Andy scurry off whilst adjusting her clothes, getting everything back in place on her way down the stairs before leaving via the front door.

Jonas' eyes followed Andy out the door before focusing back on his fiancée. His hands were on his hips, looking at her expectantly, waiting for any kind of explanation. He had told Andy that he was okay with them being together, it was the only way he still got to be with Lu, he knew that. But he had hoped they would be more discrete about it. He certainly didn't expect them to share the bed he and Lu also shared, didn't expect them to take any kind of risk—risk him walking in on them.

''We finished the deal this morning, I thought I'd come home and surprise you,'' Jonas explained, trying to figure out how to deal with this. He had _technically_ given his blessing, but even then he had already known that he had meant it as more of a gesture—it wasn't that he wanted them to be… together. At that time he had already been somewhat iffy about them merely being friends after everything that happened, to know that they had continued their relationship…

Lu couldn't argue that she was surprised. She spent night after night alone in their bed, wishing he—or anyone, especially Andy—was there, and the one night he had decided to come home early was one of the very few nights that she wasn't alone. They had their eyes on each other but were both silent. Lu had decided only a few hours earlier that their relationship was over, but she had trouble actually saying the words.

''In our bed?!'' Jonas asked in absolute disbelief. ''Of all places, why here?'' He asked, knowing that he was focusing on just a minute detail. It had always been at their house, from his understanding, but it had been the guest bedroom, he hadn't even thought about that now being occupied by Marc.

Lu knew why—Lizzy was at Andy's house most of the time, and when they had started sleeping together Marc was still away in Arizona for college. It had been the logical solution. It was also the explanation that she knew Jonas didn't really care about, it was the bigger picture. ''Jonas, I-''

''You sleep with her in _our_ bed, she spends the night here, Marc knows that there's something going on between you two… the whole of Rittenhouse knows that there is something going on between you two,'' Jonas said, ''what is going to happen at our wedding? We have our first dance and then you spend the rest of the night with her?'' He waited for a response but Lu simply looked away silently. ''What has become of our relationship?''

Lu cocked her head slightly, ''you can't blame for all of it. In the past month you've been home for not even a week-''

''I've been busy.''

''We both are. Before, even when you were busy, you still found time for us to spend together. We made time for each other, but now…'' Lu sighed, ''how can we be together when you're never even here? I don't want to marry you if this is how it's going to be.'' She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. This is what she had been wanting to say for a long time now, what she would've said much sooner if he had been willing to listen.

''Do you even still want to be with me at all?'' Jonas asked, afraid for the answer. He could see the hurt in Lu's eyes and it killed him to know that he had caused it. He remembered the first time he saw her, how he had leaned over to his mother and said that Lu was the woman he was going to marry. He had spent so much time wooing her, making her fall in love with him. She might've caused the first crack in their relationship by being intimate with Andy, but his reaction was what caused the whole thing to break.

He knew he wasn't entirely blameless in this situation, and he was willing to admit that if it meant getting Lu back. Despite everything he still wanted to be with her—everything he had told Andy was true; he wanted to marry her, have children with her, grow old with her. But the longer she waited with responding the more doubt filled his mind, the more dread he felt in his lower belly. He swallowed hard before repeating his question, ''do you still want to be with me?'' He asked, '''cause I'm willing to try anything; I'll be home more often, I'll-''

Lu interrupted him mid-sentence, wrapping the sheet more tightly around herself and wishing she didn't have to see his face during this. ''it's not that I don't want to be with you, per se,'' she told him and a second of relief flashed in his eyes, ''it's that I'm in love with her, and I want to be with her. I think that she and I can make a relationship work, and I want to try.''

She got up off the bed, dragging the sheet with her and she started to look for her clothes, picking her dress up off the floor. Jonas had his arms crossed, not wanting to look at her. She softly gave his arm a squeeze as she walked past him on her way to the en-suite bathroom, ''I'll move my stuff out as soon as I find a new place.''

* * *

Andy hadn't heard anything from Lu all of Saturday but decided to let it go, she couldn't imagine what Lu was going through now and the least she could do was give her some space to deal with it all. That didn't mean she wasn't curious though. She had listened to Milo's request, she needed to figure this out on her own, and she hadn't called him.

He was still in Philly, checking out apartments if she remembered correctly. The thought of not getting to see him, not getting to talk to him and hear his voice; it sounded unbearable. To now not have Lu around either… It promised to be a very long weekend.

She was lying in bed, her book resting face-down on her chest as she tried to stay awake. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before after getting home from Lu and Jonas' place, but now she needed to go back into her normal sleeping pattern. Andy didn't realize how close she was to falling asleep until the phone rang and woke her back up.

''Campbell.'' She picked it up after the first ring in the same stern voice she always used, for all she knew it could be her service calling about an emergency, despite her personal life she would never sound anything but professional in case Rittenhouse called.

''Andy?'' Lu's voice came through from the other side of the line, sounding rather flat—as if she was all cried out and didn't have any energy left for emotions. Lu could hear Andy ask about what had happened after she had left the previous night and she took a deep breath. ''I checked into a hotel, called some movers and got all my stuff into storage… still haven't figured out how I'm going to tell Marc that he doesn't have a house to come home to. Been calling around looking for a place all day and am going to check something out tomorrow, can you come with?''

''Yes, of course, whatever you need,'' Andy said. From what Lu had said it sounded like she was doing what she always did, full steam ahead; just keep going and going despite whatever was going on. But the sound of her voice betrayed her true feelings, and Andy wished she could be there with her right now. There was a moment of silence, ''are you okay?''

''I don't really wanna talk about it,'' Lu said after a second. ''Jonas is going to move to Rio like he had planned before our relationship kept him here, he said that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, I gave him back my engagement ring and left…'' she swallowed hard, ''Andy, tell me everything is going to be okay.'' She had been so sure of her decision before she had talked to Jonas, saying the actual words to him just made everything so final and now she was over-thinking everything leading up to this very moment.

''It's going to be alright,'' Andy said, ''you're Luisa Delgado, you can survive anything. And I'll be there with you, you know that, right?''

Lu nodded before realizing that Andy couldn't see her. She wiped away the small tears that had formed in her eyes. ''Let's just change the subject,'' she said as she slipped between the covers of the hotel bed. She was done with talking about Jonas, they were over and whilst she had been second-guessing all the decisions she had made she knew that choosing Andy over him had been the right one. Lu could hear Andy hum in agreement and a small smile crept up Lu's lips, flipping a switch in her brain and focusing completely on the woman on the other end of the line, ''so, what are you wearing?'' She asked, sliding down the bed a bit and getting more comfortable. If it was up to her they'd find a way to continue where they had left of the previous evening, but with Lizzy home that was impossible; she'd settle for this second best thing though.

Andy laughed, ''are you serious?'' She asked with a giggle, looking down at her nightgown as she waited for a reply. When none came she cleared her throat, ''just a nightgown... you?''

Lu closed her eyes. She knew it probably wasn't what Andy was wearing but she was picturing something made of silk, preferably in the same red shade that Andy had worn the previous night. She ignored Andy's question, ''that red dress you wore last night, you should wear that the next time we go out, I'll have fun taking it off of you.''

Andy could feel a blush creep up her face, ''you will, hmm?''

A wicked smile crossed Lu's face. Things had been cut short the night before and now she just wanted to pick up where they had left off, wanting to take things from 0 to 100 as quickly as possible. ''Yeah, tear it off of you, throw you down onto the bed, push my fingers inside your cunt,'' she could feel her heart beating faster and faster, trying to listen for any sign coming from Andy that showed she wasn't enjoying this as much as Lu was, ''make you beg me to make you cum, drawing it out as long as possible before making you cum over and over again. Make you moan so loud the neighbors will complain.'' Lu could hear Andy trying to breathe normally, trying to hide how much Lu's words were affecting her. ''I'll tie you up; make you lie there helplessly as I do whatever I want with your body.''

Andy swallowed hard, she couldn't help but picture what Lu was describing and it turned her on more than she cared to admit. Her mind was racing, thinking of a way to respond. ''I wish you were here right now,'' she said honestly, ''wish I could kiss you and-''

''Touch yourself,'' Lu said, interrupting her. ''Take off everything you're wearing,'' she could hear rustling and smiled, pleased that Andy was doing exactly as she was being told. ''Now lie down and touch yourself, are you wet for me yet?'' She was playing with the cord with her fingers, listening to all the little sounds coming from the other end of the line.

Andy could feel her juices on her fingers, and moaned slightly as her fingers brushed against her clit, ''always. Just thinking about you makes me this way.'' It was the truth although she hadn't thought she would ever admit to Lu how much her mere presence affected her; it was easier over the phone though. She was imagining Lu touching her, that it were her fingers instead of Andy's own ones.

Lu had her hands down her underwear as well, stroking lazily as she could hear Andy's moans drifting through the phone. ''Close your eyes,'' she instructed, no doubt in her mind that Andy would do exactly as she was told, ''what are you picturing?''

''You, the way you were last night,'' Andy said, thinking back to how Lu had straddled her, the almost loving moment between them before Lu had taken back the reins, ''thinking of you on top of me, taking off your dress, your juices dripping into my mouth…'' Telling Lu this was making the memory all the more vivid. It also brought her back to just how close she had gotten to cumming the night before when Jonas walked in.

Lu smiled to herself. She could hear soft moans coming from Andy and it only turned her on more, biting her lip as she finally touched her clit. In her head she was already planning their next time together, hoping it would be sooner rather than later. Andy wouldn't even be able to walk in a straight line when she was done with her. ''Tell me what you want to do to me, what you want me to do to you.''

Trying to think of a scenario to tell Lu only served to arouse her more, but Andy was feeling the same mental block as the night before. ''I want you to fuck me,'' she said breathlessly. ''Take me however you want me.'' Her head was spinning as a memory from a few weeks earlier came back to her, Milo's words echoing in her head.

 _''I don't care if we're broken up, if you're sleeping with Lu,'' he thrust up against her as he said the name, eliciting a moan from Andy, ''or if you're lying next to me dreaming about someone else, you are_ mine _. I'll decide whether you can come or not, not Peter, not Nick, and not Lu._ Just me _.''_

Even though she had been so close just moments before, she could feel her orgasm ebbing away before it had even begun. With a groan she gave up. After a few seconds she could hear Lu call her name through the phone and brought it back to her ear—she was tempted to just fake it, not wanting to discourage Lu from doing things like this, but she knew Lu would be able to tell.

''What's wrong?'' Lu asked, taking her hand out of her underwear—it wasn't nearly as much fun doing it by herself. She worried she had pushed Andy too far, it was always fun to see just how far she could push her partner but she always knew she'd risk this. ''I'm sorry,'' she added when Andy didn't answer.

Andy shook her head, ''don't be. This was nice, really, it's just not happening tonight,'' she said. She could hear Lu say something but only mumbled the words ''I'm sorry,'' before she hung up the phone without another word.

* * *

''Sorry I'm late,'' Andy said as she closed the door behind her. Lu and the landlord were standing in the living room, turning around when they heard Andy come in. All night she hadn't been able to stop thinking about everything Lu had said, and the memory of Milo telling her what to do. From day 1 they had both been trying to get the upper hand and it was messing with her head.

She walked over to Lu who turned away from her. Andy had half expected her to blow up as soon as they saw each other, it was what she expected from Lu who never shied away from sharing her feelings—especially anger. Getting the cold shoulder was much worse.

Andy watched Lu as they made their way around the apartment, checking out the kitchen and the two bedrooms. Lu for the most part didn't acknowledge her presence. She knew it had been wrong to just hang up without explaining what was going on, but just like Lu was very open about her feelings, Andy wasn't at all.

''I'll give you and your friend a moment, feel free to take a look around, I'll be right back,'' the landlord said, already making his way to the door.

''Girlfriend,'' Lu corrected him quietly, although she didn't seem too happy about it. With her arms crossed she turned back to Andy, waiting for an explanation for the previous evening. Things had been going so well when Andy suddenly hung up, Lu expected more from her and after breaking up with Jonas for Andy she certainly deserved more.

''I'm sorry,'' Andy said.

Lu raised her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation but none came. She leaned back against the counter behind her, ''what happened? Why did you hang up on me?'' She asked.

Andy noticed that Lu sounded calmer than she usually did, sounding more hurt than angry. She didn't know how to communicate what exactly was going on though, knowing that Lu didn't quite seem to understand her and Milo's dynamic. She shook her head, ''I just couldn't…''

''Cum?'' Lu asked. It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed that Andy was having trouble with that two nights prior. Over time she had picked up all kinds of little clues that gave her insight of what was going on inside Andy's head, no matter how closed off she could be. She had been racking her brains trying to figure out what was going on. A slight nod from Andy was all she needed to confirm it, ''what is it? Is it something I did, or…?''

''No,'' Andy walked over to Lu, her hands on Lu's folded arms, ''no, of course not. You're kind, you're sweet, and… so incredibly sexy, you're amazing,'' Lu looked rather unimpressed by Andy's words, as Andy was all too conscious of how close together they were now and how badly she had wanted to be this close to Lu the previous night, ''it's just… you and Milo both like taking control—which is great, I love that—it's just messing with my head to both have you do that.'' Lu looked back at her and Andy suppressed the urge to kiss her, knowing that she owed Lu more than that. ''A few weeks ago I had a dream about you and I, and Milo overheard me saying your name while I was sleeping, and he…'' Andy swallowed hard, not about to tell Lu that he then fucked her until she passed out.

''He got weird about it?'' Lu filled in, her demeanor relaxing just the slightest bit. She had known that there would be some clashing between how she was with Andy and how Milo was with Andy, but she had hoped that his interference would stay out of their sex-life.

''Possessive as always,'' Andy said, ''he said that he would decide when I come, not Nick, not Peter… not you. I tried not to let that stop me but even if my brain didn't care my body still listens to him.''

Lu looked up at Andy, a confused look crossing her face, ''not Peter?'' She asked, wondering what she had missed as an embarrassed look crossed Andy's face.

Andy could feel the dread in her stomach; she had completely forgotten that she had never told Lu about that particular night. She looked away and took a step back without thinking about it, ''I-it doesn't matter,'' she said, stumbling over the words.

''It matters to me, just tell me,'' Lu said, surprised that she was just hearing about this. From what she knew it must at the least have been a few months ago, and considering how open Andy had been about her relationship with Nick it was strange that she hadn't brought this up since it must've been at around the same time.

Andy wiped her hair behind her ears, looking for anything to possibly change the subject to. ''Lu…''

''Andy,'' Lu said, looking intently at her. ''What's going on? Why haven't you told me about this?'' She had so many questions but Andy didn't seem keen on answering any of them. She took a step closer to Andy, ''if we are doing this, if we are going to be in a relationship, I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me these kinds of things.''

A small, almost, laugh came from Andy, ''it's just… a lot,'' she said, having trouble even drawing a full breathe.

Lu looked at her confused, not sure what Andy was referring to or where this all was even coming from. ''What are you talking about?''

Andy hesitated. ''Just a few weeks ago Milo asked me to think about what our relationship would even entail, he wanted me to talk to you about it, and now I'm… your girlfriend,'' Andy said, ''it just all happened so fast and-''

''You've gotta be kidding me, Andy,'' Lu said, getting more pissed off with each word out of Andy's mouth. ''Don't make it sound like this all just happened to you. _You_ came to me, _you_ asked me out,'' she ran her hands through her head as if what had happened the past few weeks was just finally sinking in, ''I left Jonas for you…''

''I didn't ask you to do that,'' Andy said defensively.

Lu put up her hand, wanting to stop Andy from saying anything further. ''So what are you saying?'' She asked, she took a deep breath to calm down. ''Do you want to take a step back? Do you wanna break-up, what?''

They were both quiet for a moment, simply looking at each other. Andy felt conflicted; Lu only wanted the truth from her but in this moment that would just hurt their relationship. Still, it was what Lu deserved. ''I just need a moment.''

The words hadn't completely left Andy's mouth before Lu stormed past her and out the door.

* * *

Lu swung the hotel room door open, wanting to tell whoever had just knocked—who she had been ignoring for the past five minutes as they completely undeterred continued their disturbance—to just go away. Seeing Andy on the other side of the door she felt conflicted, it was both what she wanted as well as the last thing she wanted.

Andy leaned her head against the doorframe, she had half-expected Lu to blow up at her the moment she opened the door. ''I'm an idiot.'' She was great with patients, as well as the staff working at the hospital, and Milo had assured her many times that she was a good mother even if she didn't always feel it, but when it came to her relationship with Lu she was, indeed, an idiot. ''I'm sorry for what I said,'' she added, Lu gave her a nod, urging her to go on. ''I think that I need to take more responsibility for the part that I play in our relationship.''

Andy remembered a conversation with Lu a long time ago where Lu had accused her of spinning situations in such a way that the responsibility ultimately fell on Lu's shoulders, and she had never felt more that that was true than she did in this moment.

''I thought that I knew myself pretty well,'' she continued, ''and I never thought I would fall in love with another woman, but I stand at Lana's desk and I stare at you through the window and suddenly I'm fifteen years old again, waiting desperately for Archie Steelman to ask me to dance at the junior prom,'' Andy said, glad that it seemed to get a chuckle out of Lu, ''it's downright embarrassing, but I've never been happier.''

Lu could feel tears burning her eyes. No matter how sweet Andy was being now—and she seemed more than genuine—she couldn't forget what Andy had said that morning, and it made her hesitant to show any kind of forgiveness. ''We keep having the same argument though. You say that you don't have feelings for me, that this isn't completely real to you because we happen to both be women...'' Her mind drifted back to their first fight, back when they were just sleeping together when Milo was dating Sandra. ''I need you to stop thinking about the fact that I'm a woman... All that matters is how you feel, gender has nothing to do with that.''

Andy nodded slowly, ''Lu, I am madly and deeply in love with you, and I don't know what that means for my relationship with Milo, I just know that I want to be with you, not despite you being a woman,'' Andy said, taking Lu's hands in her own and glad that her partner was letting her, ''being a woman is one of the things that make you who you are, and you are amazing. I can't say that I have it all figured out, that I know what our relationship would even look like long term, all I can say is that I want our relationship to work, no matter what it looks like.

''I can't promise that I'll be perfect, and that you won't have to call me out on my shit every once in a while,'' Andy said, realizing that she sounded just like Lu, ''all I can promise is that I love you, and that I can't even remember my life without you anymore and I don't want to either.''

Lu took a deep breath, pushing all of the memories from their fight to the back of her head despite her better judgment. ''If you really love me, if you really wanna be with me,'' she said, ''then prove it.''


	23. The Reins

As always, thank you so much for the reviews! They're great inspirators and motivators for me to continue this story!

* * *

 **—The Reins—**

* * *

''I do want to be with you,'' Andy said, ''I wouldn't be here if I didn't. It just wasn't until you referred to me as your girlfriend that it fully sank in that we're doing this. I have wanted you for so long… it doesn't seem quite real yet, and so I didn't think about the fact that I now have to actually tell you about things like…''

''Like your boyfriend ordering you that I can't make you come? About how you've apparently slept with Peter?'' Lu asked, still in disbelief about the latter. ''Andy, we've been friends for years and you always shared things with me—when Les hit you you came to me, when you first started dating Milo and felt insecure you came to me, when Milo talked to you about his fantasies… you came to me. Why is it that now that we're together you suddenly feel you can't tell me stuff?''

''I don't know,'' Andy admitted, sitting down on the bed next to Lu, resisting the urge to scoot closer. ''This is uncharted territory, and I'm trying to figure out how to be a good girlfriend to both you and Milo. I have no idea how to do that, I just know that I want to.''

Lu was pretty much done with the conversation. ''Then prove to me that you do,'' she said. After the things Andy had said to her earlier that day she didn't feel comfortable continuing their relationship until Andy gave her the feeling that _she_ wanted to, like she was willing to make any kind of commitment to Lu instead of making her feel like they were just messing around…

''Prove it to you how?'' Andy asked, willing to do anything. ''What do I have to do?''

Lu shrugged. ''Figure it out.'' She could tell this took Andy by surprise. ''From the first moment you came to me talking about how Milo was talking about fantasies he had about you and me, I have taken the reins. But I'm done taking control-''

''You love taking control,'' Andy reminded her.

''I'm done calling the shots, for now,'' Lu said, ignoring Andy's words. ''I told you that I want us to be in an actual relationship, an actual couple, and I need you to show me that you want that as well.'' She leaned in closer to Andy, she hadn't been oblivious to the fact that Andy had been restraining herself, and Lu knew just how important the physical side of their relationship was to Andy. She brought her lips close to Andy's ear, ''I'll make it worth your while,'' she whispered.

* * *

''What're you doing?'' Lizzy asked as she watched her mom—who was readjusting the plate setting for the umpteenth time—with a confused look on her face. Jesse was finally home from college for the first time since the semester started, their mom had been fidgeting around all day long, and Lizzy had been trying—and failing—to get her assigned reading done all day long.

''We're expecting guests, I want everything to be perfect,'' Andy told her daughter. It was the first day of Christmas break and she and her daughters had planned an early Christmas dinner since Jesse and Lizzy were going to go to Les' house for the holidays. She had invited Lu and Marc to come over as well, which was a surefire way to make this Christmas particularly memorable. The doorbell rang and she wiped her slightly sweaty hands on her black skirt, ''oh lord,'' she said under her breath.

She had been a nervous wreck all week. She had left Lu's hotel room soon after their talk, after Lu had told her to figure out how she could possibly prove to her that she was serious about their relationship. Andy had sent flowers, had tried to talk to Lu multiple times, and had ultimately decided that actually coming out of the closet about their relationship to the two most important people in her life would be the best way to show just how serious she was.

Andy knew her daughters were confused about why Lu and Marc were joining them for Christmas; it was usually just the three of them and Milo, just their little family.

Andy opened the door with a smile, ignoring her first instinct to greet Lu with a kiss—a pretty girlfriend thing to do, but not with the kids around and not while she and Lu were fighting. ''Come on in,'' she said, opening the door a bit wider. She took their coats and after not too long—a half an hour of awkward conversation—they sat down for dinner.

If anything, dinner was even more uncomfortable. Andy knew that her daughters had felt the tension and were waiting for an explanation as to why Lu was there instead of Milo, and they were almost done with dinner by the time she mustered up the courage to actually tell them. She shot a look at Marc who was looking at his plate; she assumed Lu hadn't told him anything yet.

Jesse looked at her mom and saw just how close she and Lu were sitting to each other. ''So what's going on?'' She asked when there was a lull in the conversation. ''Why isn't Milo here?'' Despite how upset she had been about her parents' divorce and—in the beginning—that her mom was dating Milo, she had grown to like him and missed him being there.

''Milo had to go to California for a medical conference,'' Andy told her daughter. She looked over at Lu, ''Lu and I wanted to talk to you guys about…something that's been going on,'' she said, looking for the right words to explain this to her girls. She had had trouble introducing Milo to them, and this was infinitely more difficult than that. Her daughters, along with Marc, looked at her expectantly. She could feel Lu reach for her hand underneath the table and gave it a squeeze. ''We have been seeing each other… in a romantic way… for a while now-''

''Wait; are you not with Milo anymore?'' Jesse asked, interrupting her mother. She had been wondering the whole meal what could possibly be going on but she hadn't expected this.

''No, I am,'' Andy said quickly, ''I'm just also with Lu.'' These words came out slowly. This was the first time they had told anyone about their relationship and she had no idea what the reactions were going to be, especially from Jesse and Lizzy who she was sure never saw it coming. At least Marc had found out somewhat organically, had been introduced to the idea a bit slower.

''Is this why you and Jonas broke up?'' Marc asked his mom. He knew there was something going on between his mom and Andy, she had vaguely talked to him about it—he just didn't expect it to turn into an actual thing.

''It's part of it, yes,'' Lu said. She knew Marc had liked Jonas and had been confused about why they had broken up. She hadn't planned on telling him quite yet, despite the fact that he had found them asleep together and had been asking more than just a few questions. She reached across the table for him but he waved her away, ''Marc, I can't help how I feel…''

He threw his napkin down on the table, ''I have to go,'' he mumbled, grabbing his coat off the rack and making his way out the door as he started calling one of his friends to come pick him up.

The four remaining at the table grew quiet. Andy turned to Lizzy. The thirteen-year-old had been quiet the entire time and Andy couldn't help but wonder how she felt about this. ''Lizzy, what do you think?'' She asked.

Lizzy finally looked up from her plate, silently processing her feelings. She looked at her mother with open mouth, trying to force out anything at all, but when none came she took Marc's example and bolted upstairs. She threw herself down onto the covers of her bed, burying her face in her pillow as her mother came in and closed the door behind her. Andy sat down on the bed next to Lizzy, rubbing circles on her back. It took a little while but Lizzy sat up, facing her mother. ''Mom…''

''What is it, sweetie? You can ask me anything.'' Andy said, ''what is it? Do you not like Lu?''

''I like her,'' Lizzy said quietly, ''but why do you have to be with her? Why do you have to be with a woman? Or with two people? Why couldn't you just have stayed with dad?'' She asked, remembering how much easier it had been when her father still lived with them, when he would tuck her in at night instead of a long-distance phone call when he had the time.

Andy tried to look for the right words, ''you can't control who you fall in love with,'' she told her youngest daughter. ''We didn't plan for this to happen, it just did and we've been waiting to tell you guys because we wanted to see where it would go, but we want to be with each other. And whether I am with Lu or not, or with Milo, daddy and I aren't getting back together.''

''But you're with Milo,'' Lizzy argued, ''how can you be with both of them? What if the people at school find out?'' She could see her mother starting to dismiss that, ''why don't you just tattoo 'freak' on my forehead and completely ruin my life?''

''Lizzy, I know that it's not easy for you that daddy and I aren't together, but I have to move on. Nobody at your school will find out if you don't want them too,'' Andy said. ''I just happened to fall in love with two people, and we're trying to make this work, can you try to be supportive? Just wait a little while until the dust settles and see how you feel then?''

* * *

''I'm a terrible mother,'' Andy said as she sat down on the edge of the porch that Les had finished building right before their divorce, next to Lu. After getting Lizzy somewhat settled down and fielding questions from Jesse about if she was gay, if she was trying to ruin her daughters' lives, and what the hell this meant long-term, she was exhausted. Lu was still calling Marc's cell phone over and over again, trying to get a hold of him.

''You're not,'' Lu said as she got Marc's voicemail again. ''They just need some time to adjust, just like you.'' She smiled at Andy as she put her phone down. ''I'm glad that you told them, it means a lot to me.''

''Am I forgiven yet?'' Andy asked. ''I mean, that's not why I did this, but-''

''It's a start,'' Lu said, interrupting Andy. Lately it seemed that letting Andy ramble on just led to getting hurt and she was not in the mood for that right now. She had been wanting Andy to make their relationship real to herself so that she could actually get used to it, so she wouldn't come with a spiel about how she didn't know who she was and how could she have possibly fallen in love with a woman? Telling Lizzy and Jesse made it about as real as it would ever be.

She could see Andy look down at the ground. Lu head butted her softly. ''Why don't you come over tomorrow night? We can have some fun, spend the night together before Milo comes back and gets involved in everything again.''

''What did you have in mind?'' Andy asked, knowing that she would say yes no matter what Lu had planned. At this point she would do just about anything for the Latina, hoping to somehow get back what they had. Undo the damage she had done.

Lu got up, getting ready to leave. She gave Andy a smile as she thought about what she had in mind, ''just a little fantasy of mine.''

* * *

Andy sat down her glass of wine on the coffee table, looking around Lu's new apartment. It was similar to her old one—from before she moved in with Jonas—and Andy wasn't sure why but she felt right at home there. Lu seemed the slightest bit calmer now, and Andy wanted to ask her if things between them were okay now, but it didn't look like Lu would appreciate that very much.

She was trying to figure out a way to shift the focus of their conversation back to their relationship when a pause fell. She smoothed out her dress—the red one that she had worn on their date—and looked up at Lu. ''So… I talked to Milo,'' she said. This was how it had all begun. Milo had asked her to figure out what their relationship was going to look like, and now that she had it somewhat figured out she had decided to discuss it with him.

''No,'' Lu said, shushing her before she could say anything else. ''Don't mention Milo, not now.'' She said, sounding like she was getting the slightest bit pissed off. ''I know that you're in a relationship with him as well, and that you love him and his feelings about us matter, but not now. Right now I just want you to be _mine_ , to be _my_ girlfriend, and focus on our relationship with each other instead of what he thinks our relationship should be.'' Andy fell silent upon hearing this. Lu grabbed Andy's hand and pulled her up off the couch and through the beaded curtain into her bedroom where Andy looked around, ''take off your dress.'' She ordered.

She had made dinner for the two of them, they had sat down to drink some wine and talk, but now she just wanted to actually do what she had invited Andy over for. All day she had been excited by the prospect of finally doing this and if she waited any longer she would undoubtedly ruin Andy's dress by ripping it off of her.

''I thought you said you were done calling the shots?'' Andy said, turning away from the mirror and to Lu, who seemed to be not in the mood for jokes—at all. She narrowed her eyes at Lu. Lu was always the one taking the more dominant role but the look in her eyes was more than Andy had seen before, darker than Andy had expected, ''do I want to know what your fantasy is?'' It was only half-jokingly.

''Andy, I swear to God, just take off your dress and get on the bed,'' Lu said, taking off her shirt and flinging it onto the back of a chair. She watched Andy kick off her shoes and reach behind her to slowly unzip the back of the dress, making Lu impatient. She quickly took her jeans off and pushed Andy face down onto the bed, sitting on the back of her thighs. She pushed Andy's dress up to her waist, pulling down her black, lace panties as well.

Lu leaned down, wiping Andy's hair away from her neck and pulling it—forcing Andy's head to bend back, making her just the slightest bit uncomfortable—and softly biting her on the side of her neck. She could hear a moan coming from Andy and smiled to herself. ''Do you like that?'' She asked, biting a little harder, almost breaking skin. She reached down between them, pushing two fingers between Andy's folds, softly brushing against her clit—feeling Andy push back against her—before slipping a finger inside. Andy was wet, as she always seemed to be for Lu, but Lu thought they surely could do better.

Lu got up off of Andy, looking around the room searching for what she needed. ''Don't move,'' she told Andy as she slipped into the bathroom real quick, coming back out with a paddle brush. ''Say a number,'' she ordered, staring at Andy's uncovered ass. She had watched Milo do this and Andy's reaction had been like nothing she had ever seen before.

''Six,'' Andy said hesitantly, confused by the need for it. She lifted her head up to look at Lu and saw her hide something behind her back.

Lu looked at Andy disappointedly, ''I told you not to move,'' she said. She was looking to recreate a dream she had had, one that had turned into a fantasy that had gotten her off more than once. Andy questioning what she was doing hadn't been a part of that. She saw Andy bury her head back into the pillow like it had been seconds before. ''If you do as I tell you, I'll make you hurt in all the right ways and places.'' She could see goose bumps forming on Andy's skin. ''Now, because you didn't listen, I'll double your number. I want you to count them down as we go.''

Andy frowned, wondering what she was talking about but knowing that it was best to just go along with it. Her wonder was soon answered though as the first stinging blow landed on her right cheek. She let out a whimper, ''oh my god…'' She pushed her legs tightly together, making the pleasure she felt there even more intense as Lu massaged the area where the blow had just landed. Andy took a deep breath, ''one.''

Lu brought the paddle brush down on the other cheek, continuing this alternating as Andy counted off every single one of the blows, her moans only growing louder and longer with each one. By the time they finally got to twelve she was putty. Lu put the brush down on the vanity, staring at Andy who was lying on the bed processing what had just happened, happy but in disbelief that Lu had been willing to do this. Without needing prompting from Andy.

Lu bit her lip as she thought of how to proceed, ''now, will you be a good little slut and listen to me?'' She asked, hoping that Andy wasn't turned off by her language, as well as hoping that she sounded stern enough to make her language effective. She considered what Milo had done—spanking her with his belt—to be more extreme, but she knew that they didn't use a lot of dirty talk from what she had heard and seen, and didn't know how Andy would respond to this.

Andy nodded, she wanted to ask what to do next but it sounded like it would be best not to speak unless Lu asked her a question. She could hear Lu tell her to get up off the bed and did as she was told—a little unsteady on her feet—, letting Lu unzip the back of the dress further than she had been able to and take it off completely. She could feel her juices roll down her inner thighs just the slightest bit and was embarrassed, but decided not to show it.

Lu knelt down, pulling Andy's panties off as well. She could see the glistening and smiled up at Andy, glad that her plan had had the desired effect. After unhooking Andy's bra and throwing it on the floor behind her she ordered Andy to get back on the bed—on her back this time—and opened her bedside table drawer. ''Put your hands above your head,'' she ordered. She could see the nervousness in Andy's eyes but appreciated that she didn't protest, ''do you trust me?'' She asked; glad when Andy nodded right away.

She had thought about this moment more than once, had even mentioned to Andy during their phone call. Pinning her down wasn't an option because they both knew that Andy was stronger than Lu, this was simply the best alternative. She put the handcuffs around Andy's wrists and around one of the bars that was part of her bed. She had needed a new bed when she moved out of Jonas' house and the fact that this had been the only bed with bars had been a huge selling point.

She took off her own underwear as well before straddling Andy again, raking her nails over Andy's soft skin, making Andy whimper when they went over her nipples. Lu pinched them softly, waiting for Andy's reaction and disappointed when the moan wasn't as loud as she had liked it. She pinched them again, harder this time and twisting just the slightest bit.

Andy looked at Lu, her mouth hanging open, a small groan escaping. Without meaning to she pushed her chest up against Lu's torturous hands, the latter woman smirking down at her. Part of her wanted to tell Lu to stop, ashamed that Lu's actions had this kind of effect on her, but her mouth had a different idea, ''harder,'' she whispered between moans.

Lu leaned down, sucking one of Andy's nipples into her mouth as her hand continued its attack on the other one, pinching it harder and pulling on it. She gently scraped her teeth against the hard bud and Andy's reaction was immediate. She brought her hand down to Andy's mound, scraping her nails over her skin on the way down. She could feel Andy bring her knees up a bit, pushing her centre against Lu's thigh, needing some kind of friction.

Lu pulled away, ''I told you not to move,'' she said. For a second she considered threatening that if Andy moved again she would spank her again, but that would just be an incentive for her. Andy straightened her legs on the bed again and Lu scooted down her body. She rubbed Andy's clit and could feel her buck beneath her, before pushing in her finger again, quickly joined by another one. It was easier now that Andy was so wet the sheets beneath her had a spot on them. Pushing in a third finger, Lu switched from pumping them in and out to curling them up—looking for Andy's g-spot and quickly finding it.

Andy's whole body tensed up before she pushed up against Lu's hand. She had been low-key turned on for the past 24 hours, ever since Lu had told her to come over so they could re-enact one of her fantasies. To finally get that sweet, sweet touch… Curses fell from her lips and she could feel herself getting close, the only thing holding her back was Milo's voice in the back of her head.

Lu could see how close she was and withdrew her hand. She was determined to in one way or another get Andy to come tonight, but not quite yet. The longer she drew it out the better it would be. She brought her hand up to Andy's mouth, pushing the wet fingers in. Andy sucked them quite enthusiastically as they held eye-contact, and Lu pushed her fingers in further, trying to see how far Andy would let her go. ''No gag reflex, huh?'' Lu asked, thinking how pleased Milo probably was about that. ''That's good to know,'' she added quietly, mostly to herself.

Andy smiled; glad that at least up until this point she seemed to be living up to Lu's expectations. She was almost disappointed when Lu took her hand back, at least for a few seconds she got to do something other than simply lie there. She remembered back to Lu telling her that she wanted to tie her up and do whatever she wanted to Andy's body, but beyond that she had no idea what was in store for her. They had never really progressed beyond simple manual and oral stimulation, never feeling the need to get more creative than that.

Andy stared up at the ceiling and sucked in a deep breath as she could feel Lu push something inside of her, filling her up to the hilt. She could feel Lu move it in and out of her, every small movement sending pleasure signals to her brain. It had been too long since she had had something that big inside of her, a few weeks had passed since she and Milo had had sex. ''Fuck… Lu…'' her head was tilted back as her hips rolled against the dildo. She could feel Lu still it and she looked up at her partner, a pleading look for more in her eyes.

She could see Lu insert the other end into herself, one of her legs over, and the other one under Andy's legs, their pelvises pushed together. Lu sat up a bit more, preferring this angle. She rolled her hips against Andy's. She had purposefully chosen a shorter one so that their clits could rub against each other and she bit her lip as Andy's fluids mixed with her own.

Their hips were rocking together and it wasn't long before they got in sync. Lu looked down at Andy lying in front of her, her body arching up off of the bed as her legs tightened behind Lu, trying to pull her closer. Lu grabbed Andy's leg that was resting on top of Lu's thigh and set her own pace, picking up the speed for a bit. Her hand moved up to Andy's mound, resting on it as her thumb moved down to Andy's clit, rubbing circles there which seemed to almost push Andy's over the edge.

Andy could feel Milo slipping from her mind and she watched Lu in fascination. She pulled on the handcuffs, wanting to reach out for Lu and pull her close, wanting to make her feel as good as she was making Andy feel. Through hooded eyes her gaze wandered up and down Lu's torso, Lu's scrunched up eyebrows proving how much she was enjoying this turning Andy on even more. ''You look so beautiful right now,'' she said between moans.

Andy's words brought Lu somewhat back to reality. It was rare for them to speak much at all during sex, mostly just to tell the other to get off their hair or switch positions. She smiled down at Andy, her thumb rubbing faster and faster, ''I want you to come for me,'' she panted. She could see how close Andy was and she hoped that Andy could forget about Milo just long enough that their night didn't have to end early tonight.

She kept rolling their hips together, giving Andy all the friction she needed, but stilled her upper body, looking Andy right in the eye. She could hear moans and curses falling from Andy's lips and she knew that the former colonel only needed a small push to get her over the edge—probably for the first time in weeks. Andy had always responded well to instructions, it had been ingrained in her when she was raised by a U.S. army general and army nurse, it had been what she had to do for most of her career, and it had been an increasingly large part of her sex-life.

''Come for me,'' Lu ordered her.

With a gasp and a small scream she finally did, her muscles contracting and releasing over and over again, forcing the dildo out of her pussy by the sheer force of it—her juices squirting out of her as she bit so hard on her lip it bled into her mouth. Her vision blacked out as Lu continued her assault on Andy's clit, forcing her into a minutes long continuous orgasm. Andy whimpered as she somewhat came back down, feeling aftershocks through her entire body as Lu never stopped.

Lu's hand continued to do its thing without her even thinking about it, her other hand moving down to her own clit to push herself over the edge. She collapsed on top of Andy, burying her face in Andy's hair as she came, her moans only somewhat muffled as she rode Andy's thigh. Her hand moved down to Andy's boob, massaging it, something that did something for both of them.

Their sweaty, sticky skin stuck together and neither of them really wanted to move. Andy moved her head and softly kissed Lu's cheek. Lu sat back up, looking down at Andy in front of her and staring unabashedly for a minute. There were some small bruises forming on Andy's boobs, red tracks leading down her belly where Lu had scraped her nails. Lu could only imagine what Andy's ass must look like at that moment. She smiled to herself knowing that Andy would have these little reminders of what they had done for the next couple of days. She reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the small key and unlocking the handcuffs.

Andy rubbed her wrists, seeing the red marks on them proving to her how hard she had pulled on them. She put her hands on Lu's shoulders, moving them down over Lu's nipples down to Lu's hips, softly stroking the skin everywhere. Finally she cupped Lu's face in her hands, bringing her face down to her own and softly kissing her lips, ''you're amazing.''

Lu could see in Andy's eyes that despite the many reservations she had voiced during the past week, she did very much mean this. A grin formed on Lu's lips, ''I'm not done with you yet.''


	24. The Selfishness

Sorry this took so long, college is kicking my behind. Also, don't ask me about the flashback in this chapter. It made sense when I wrote it when I was sleepdrunk.

* * *

 **—The Selfishness—**

* * *

''That's actually kinda hot,'' Lu said as she lazily drew patterns on Andy's bare skin. They were lying in bed together and had been talking throughout most of the night and their conversation had eventually circled back to Andy having slept with Peter. After getting over her initial feelings of jealousy Lu couldn't deny that imagining Andy with both Peter and Nick got her juices flowing.

Andy was kissing Lu's neck. Even though she didn't regret the three-way she had had and she was glad that she had now finally told Lu about it, she really just wanted to take her mind off of it. Her relationship with Nick was in the past and she was ready to focus on being the best possible girlfriend to Lu she could be—and to Milo. She started to kiss down Lu's chest, slipping her hand under the thin fabric of Lu's top.

''So… is that all?'' Lu asked as she looked down at Andy. After a second Andy lifted her head up to look back at Lu, a frown crossing her face. ''Is that the only thing you didn't tell me?'' She could feel Andy start to pull away and immediately missed her warmth. Lu watched Andy sit up—in just her black knickers, grabbing a sheet to wrap around herself for warmth, her legs folded under her—and sat up a bit as well.

''I had an abortion,'' Andy said, it wasn't easy to talk about but at the moment it was the only thing she could think of that she hadn't told Lu yet, and she wanted to do whatever she could to be as upfront and honest as she could be. Especially since Lu had left Jonas, Andy felt like they could actually make their relationship work and if Lu wanted to know about all the skeletons hidden in the closet then so be it. Andy could see the surprise on Lu's face. ''It was a few weeks ago,'' she added, knowing that Lu was probably thinking it had happened much earlier.

Lu stared back at Andy, her jaw slacked. Andy had always come to her with any kind of problem she had had, shared the good, the bad, and the ugly… why she hadn't come to Lu right away with this was beyond her. She didn't know what to think of it, hadn't expected Andy to do this kind of thing.

''It was Nick's,'' Andy said, ''he knows about it, he's mad at me because of it…'' She swallowed hard; despite them working together she hadn't seen much of him and knew that it was because he had been avoiding her. They had developed a bond between the two of them during their short-lived relationship and she had hoped that they would be able to maintain that after, but at the moment it didn't seem likely.

Lu reached out to grab Andy's hand, could see in her eyes that this was difficult for her. ''How do you feel about it now?'' She asked, pulling Andy close to her until her head was in Lu's lap. She looked down into Andy's green eyes, stroking her hair away from her face.

''It was the right decision,'' Andy said. The moment when Matt did the sonogram and there was no heartbeat had replayed over and over again in her head, but despite that she was still sure that it had been the right choice. Not just for herself, but for her daughters as well as Milo and Lu too. ''Milo asked me a few weeks ago if I want to have a baby with him,'' she said. With Milo giving her space they hadn't talked about since he had mentioned it, but she had been thinking about it somewhat.

Lu looked away. She had thought plenty of times about what Andy and Milo's future would entail, for the longest time she had been the biggest supporter of their relationship, but if they had a baby… how would she fit into that picture? ''Do you want to have a baby with him?''

Andy hesitated, ''I think that as long as you and I are together, we shouldn't,'' she said honestly. She could see Lu thinking about it, ''it would be too confusing for any child to deal with, I mean, what would you be? Mom as well?'' She shook her head, ''plus, in a few years Lizzy will move out and I can just be done with having kids at home.''

Lu bit her lip, ''would you have a baby with Milo if I wasn't in the picture?'' She asked. ''I don't want to be the reason for you to not to do things; I don't want you to have regrets in a few years if this doesn't work out…''

''Do you ever think about that?'' Andy asked, ''this not working out?''

Lu cocked her head, ''it's not as if that's impossible,'' she said. She hoped that they would stay together; she hoped that her actions had made that clear, but she had never been in a relationship that had actually worked out long-term. The closest to that would be Jonas, and now that that had ended… despite Lu being the reason why it had ended, it still made it difficult for her to be too optimistic when it came to love. ''What do you think?''

''I can't imagine it not working out,'' Andy said honestly. She pulled away from Lu to sit up next to her, ''but I also can't imagine what things would be like if it did work out. What that would look like with both you and Milo around.''

Lu pulled Andy closer to her, burying her face in her neck. ''Then maybe he shouldn't be around,'' she said. She could feel Andy start to pull away but didn't relent. ''I'm kidding,'' she said, although she wouldn't be against the idea. She pulled away the slightest bit to look at Andy, ''I already told you that I don't think he and I could be friends as long as you and I are together…''

Andy felt conflicted. She loved both of them and as far as she knew they both loved her, and she had been trying her hardest not to make Lu feel like their relationship was merely secondary to her relationship with Milo… she didn't think she would be able to choose if it ever came down to that.

* * *

 _''Why don't you let me buy you a drink?''_

 _Lu hadn't caught the guy's name and didn't care enough to ask. She had a beer in each hand and was already making her way back to the booth where she and Andy had been sitting. They had been sleeping together on occasion for a few months now, and after hearing Andy lament about her and Milo being broken up and about how Milo was dating some new woman Lu thought it was the perfect time for them to have some semblance of a first date._

 _She slid in the booth next to Andy, slipping her hand into hers under the table as she watched the guy from the bar sit down across from her. ''You can buy me all the drinks you want but I'm taken,'' Lu told him, stroking Andy's hand with her thumb. She never minded guys buying drinks for her, but right now she just wanted to focus all her attention on Andy and be left alone._

 _The guy sat back, disappointed that he was being blown off. He turned to Andy, ''what about you? You wanna have a drink with me?'' He asked, downing the beer that was left in his glass._

 _''She's taken,'' Lu interjected before Andy could answer, ''by me.'' Even though they had been sleeping together for a few months, and despite Lu technically being with Jonas, and despite this technically not being a date, Lu was sure that Andy wouldn't Lu trying to get rid of the guy. Even if that did include implying that Andy was her girlfriend no matter how many times she had protested being called that and outright refusing to admit she had feelings for Lu at all._

 _Andy looked at the guy who seemed to be trying to come up with some clever comeback. She looked down at her and Lu's hands intertwined. She still very much missed Milo—even more so since their making out at the bachelor's auction—and she had very much appreciated Lu trying to take her mind off of it by taking her out for drinks, but Lu's affectionate touches were messing with her head. She wasn't usually like this, always had her head screwed on straight._

 _''Okay, I get it,'' the guy put his hands up, ''you're blowing me off. That's fine. Just don't think I'm falling for this charade, there's no way you two are together,'' he said, getting ready to get up and leave. ''Don't think you're fooling anyone.''_

 _Lu gave him a small smile before turning to Andy, taking her hand out of hers and taking her face into her hands instead, softly kissing her. It always happened that they let their lust for each other build up until it became too much and they basically ripped each other clothes off, this was the first time that their kiss had been this calm. It didn't last long though, they weren't sure which one of them deepened the kiss but it quickly became inappropriate to stay at the bar. Lu pulled away a bit, noticing that the guy had left but she didn't care. ''Come home with me,'' she whispered._

 _The cab ride back to Lu's house was uneventful. They sat on opposite sides of the back seat, looking out the window instead of at each other, not even touching one another the entire way. Silent the whole time._

 _When they got to Lu's house, Lu opened the door for Andy, pulling her by the hand up to the front door and inside. It was dark and quiet inside and Andy didn't have to ask to know that Jonas was most likely out of town, or at the very least not home. Before Andy had fully processed what was happening, that she was giving into this again, they were up in the guestroom. Andy could feel Lu's warm skin underneath her touch._

 _Every brain cell was yelling at her to go away and leave. She was still madly in love with Milo and even though he was with someone else, her being with Lu would only hurt their relationship. Would make it impossible for him to even consider them getting back together. She shouldn't be here… she should leave… it was just that when Lu's lips were on hers again that all the brain cells got drowned out. All she wanted was Milo, and all she wanted was to hear Lu moan louder and louder._

 _She spun Lu around, pushing her back onto the bed, legs dangling off as Andy got on her knees between them. She pushed Lu's skirt up, reaching the hem of the panties and pulling them down, trying to ignore Lu's intoxicating scent but failing. She hooked her arms around Lu's thighs, pulling her closer to Andy herself._

 _Andy dove in headfirst, needing to feel Lu all around her. The juices coating her tongue as she flicked Lu's clit with it. She could feel Lu's heel dig into her back and it was all she needed to know. She sucked Lu's clit into her mouth and hummed, knowing from experience how good that felt. Lu moved underneath Andy's hands and when Andy looked back up she looked right into Lu's dark eyes, immediately pulling away._

 _''Don't stop,'' Lu said breathlessly._

 _''You're watching me,'' Andy said. Without Lu watching she could pretend that this didn't mean anything, didn't even have to acknowledge the existence of the other woman. It made it less real somehow, didn't make her feel as if she was cheating on Milo despite not being with him._

 _Lu nodded, ''I like watching you,'' she said, ignoring the blush on Andy's face. No matter how many times Andy claimed to not have feelings for Lu, her enthusiasm when they got down to business was unparalleled by any of the guys Lu had slept with who did have feelings for her. Andy had the ability to make Lu feel more wanted than she had ever felt in her whole life, whilst rejecting her romantically. She put her hand on the back of Andy's head, guiding her back to where Lu wanted her most as she fell back onto the bed. If Andy didn't want her to watch then that was fine, as long as she continued what she had been doing._

 _After a moment of hesitation Andy continued. Two of her fingers pushed their way inside Lu and it wasn't long before what had just happened was already erased from her memory. It was what always happened, when she was with Lu it was as if the rest of the world stopped existing. It made her feel as if she could cocoon herself inside with Lu and nothing would matter, it's what she thought about when she saw Milo and was reminded that she couldn't be with him._

 _It wasn't long before Lu pulled Andy up onto the bed, rolling them over so that she was on top. She looked down at Andy, trying to make it look like she knew what she was doing. They both had plenty of experience when it came to sex, with men that was, when it came to them being together they were still very much into the exploring phase. And Lu had a big enough imagination to make things happen, knowing that Andy was more than happy that Lu was keen on taking charge._

 _Andy could feel Lu riding her thigh but had trouble keeping her head in the game. Usually as soon as she kissed Lu Milo would completely erase from existence as far as her brain was concerned, but now he kept coming back to her. She could feel Lu's juices leaving a trail on her thigh and was aware that Lu's movements were becoming more and more frantic, and Andy's hand traveled down as well._

 _She could see Lu on top of her, her skirt around her waist was the only thing she was wearing. She leaned forward, taking one of Lu's nipples in her mouth, Lu's moans only fueling her arousal. She grabbed one of Lu's legs behind the knee and pulled it towards her own centre, Lu got the memo and within seconds they were back in sync with each other. Both riding themselves towards orgasm._

 _Her other hand found its way to Lu's other boob, playing with the nipple, eliciting more moans. Andy knew instinctually that if it wasn't for Lu keeping her mouth busy, she would be moaning Milo's name over and over again._

 _''I shouldn't be here,'' Andy whispered when they were done, lying next to each other panting._

 _Lu smiled a bit, ''don't you want to be though?'' They both knew that they weren't supposed to be doing this, especially since Lu was with Jonas, but Lu didn't care about that fact nearly as much as Andy did. She looked over at the woman next to her, her face falling when she saw the look in Andy's eyes, ''are you okay?''_

 _Andy looked back at Lu, ''what are we doing?'' She asked. ''Why do we keep doing this? We're not together, we don't even have feelings for each other, and yet… why do I keep ending up here?'' She sat back on her knees, partially wanting to just leave and once again swear to herself that she's never going to do this again, but she wanted to know what it was. What made Lu so irresistible to her._

 _''Ands…'' Lu reached out for her, wanting to pull her closer. She wanted Andy to forget about Milo… if she did then maybe this could actually turn into something. If Andy could put Milo out of her brain for just five seconds then maybe she could see what was right in front of her, then she could see that she was right where she needed to be and if she wanted to she could stay there forever._

 _Andy bit her lip. They had been through this whole spiel before. She shook her head at Lu, ''I'm in love with Milo; it's always been him…''_

 _Lu got up off the bed. She was completely through with Andy coming to her for sex and then leaving her to want to get back together with Milo. ''Fine, then go be with him. Call him up and tell him that you want to get back together,'' she said, throwing various items of clothing at Andy, unsure that they were even hers at all. She could see the hurt in Andy's eyes and she felt the same way. ''Choose whoever you want to be with, that's all I'm asking; that you make a choice.''_

 _''Or what?'' Andy asked, pulling her shirt over her head. They had been through this so many times, and she knew how Lu felt about the fact that she wanted to get back together with Milo, but she couldn't help it. She needed to be honest about this, despite how Lu felt about the truth she still deserved it. ''Lu, I don't have feelings for you.''_

 _''Stop lying to yourself,'' Lu said. She inched closer to Andy, knowing that the closer she was the more irresistible she became. ''If you didn't have feelings for me at all then you wouldn't keep coming back to me, you wouldn't keep kissing me… I don't know if you've noticed but you always come to me, and I—like an idiot—am there waiting for you every time.'' She was done with Andy's constant back-peddling. She had gotten what she had come for: she had gotten off, and now it was time for her to leave._

 _''It's not as if you don't want it,'' Andy said, gathering her clothes in her arms. ''Maybe if you weren't so willing I wouldn't keep coming back. Keep coming back and continuing this stupid cycle that isn't going to go anywhere-''_

 _''I have feelings for you,'' Lu interjected, ''there you have it. I have feelings for you. It may not be what you want to hear but there it is, and even if you won't say it you have feelings for me too. Maybe if you stopped staring at Milo for a few minutes then you could be honest with yourself and this 'stupid cycle' could actually go somewhere.'' She could see Andy start to argue back and was reminded of the argument Andy had used so many times, ''No, don't say anything,'' her voice was calmer now. ''Stop thinking about the fact that I'm a woman, it doesn't matter.''_

 _''It matters to me,'' Andy said quietly, wishing that it didn't matter. Her clothes were gathered in her arms and she looked down at it, wondering what to do. After a few seconds she tentatively took a step towards the other side of the bed, hating the fact that she had to walk past Lu to leave. She could feel tears burn in her eyes as she came to a halt in front of the beautiful Latina. She looked up into Lu's eyes, not even a foot away from her own. She tried to think of something to say, something to make it all alright, because she knew that sooner or later she'd be back here if Lu let her._

 _Trying to find the right words, her gaze fell to Lu's lips. The clothes fell from her arms and she cupped Lu's face into her hands, pushing them backwards until Lu hit the wall. They kissed, hungry for each other despite having just had sex. After a few seconds Andy could feel Lu start to push her away and she opened her eyes, looking into Lu's dark ones, ''what is it?'' Her hand was on Lu's hip, still trying to pull her close._

 _''I need you to choose,'' Lu said, hating this but knowing that she needed to for her own sanity. ''You can choose Milo even though he is with someone else, you can try to win him back… or choose me.''_

 _''You're with Jonas,'' Andy reminded her._

 _Lu looked into Andy's eyes, disappointed that she still didn't get it. Didn't know how intense the feelings Lu had for her were. Lu rested their foreheads together, wanting to be close to her before certainly having to push her away. ''Choose me.''_

* * *

Okay, yes, the first thing he thought about when he saw her was to take her back to his hotel room, throw her down onto the bed and not have either of them leave the confines of it for the next 48 hours. But his curiosity was getting the better of him. ''So what happened with Lu?'' Milo asked as he sat down on one of the chairs in her office.

Andy felt disappointed that he had chosen to sit so far away from her, even if it did make it more difficult to think when he was near her. ''She and Jonas broke up,'' she said, forgoing the information as to what exactly had happened. There had been stuff leading up to their break-up, and stuff that had happened afterwards, but starting with the headline seemed smart.

Milo hid his surprise fairly well. ''They did?''

Andy recounted what had lead up to it, her asking Lu how Jonas would fit into the picture if they were together, the only thing she left out was him finding them in bed together. ''Milo, you told me to figure out what it is I want… my feelings for Lu aren't going anywhere,'' she said. ''I told Jesse and Lizzy that she and I are together,'' she could see his jaw tighten and knew that even if he could eventually get himself to agree to their relationship, he wasn't ready for the girls to know about it, ''she's here to stay, and I need you to be okay with that.''

''And if I'm not?'' Milo asked, scared for the answer. Andy looked away and that was all he needed to know. ''It's not as if I'm against it, I want you to be happy and I know how important she is to you, but with the way our friendship is right now…'' he said, trailing off, ''Dr. Delgado and I don't get along, and-''

The way he said 'Dr. Delgado' pissed Andy off just the slightest bit, even if up until recently she had called Lu by her last name as well. ''Can't you just try to get along?'' She asked, interrupting Milo. ''She and you used to be friends, obviously it's possible… can't you just try? For me?''

''You know I would do anything for you,'' Milo said. In his mind he was going over how to even approach Lu about this, knowing that she felt the same way about him as he did about her.

Andy looked at him sitting in front of her; the look in his eyes broke her heart. ''I'm sorry,'' she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. He looked up at her and she grabbed his hands, holding them firmly in her own. ''I'm being so selfish. You say you love me and in return I sleep with someone else, and then not only ask you to just accept that but to try to get along with her. This isn't fair, I shouldn't be asking you to do this.''

''I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be,'' Milo reminded her. ''I just need some time to think about… everything. To decide if I can live with you being with her, _for the rest of our lives_. To figure out if I can do this.'' He looked up at Andy and he could read her like a book. ''I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, there's not a doubt in my mind about that, I just need to figure out if I can spend the rest of my life with Lu.''

Andy nodded, ''that's fair.'' She would give him all the time and space he needed, and she would accept his decision either way, but she wanted to know sooner rather than later.

* * *

Andy took the Chinese takeout she had ordered out of the microwave. It was a few days before Christmas and she had once again been reminded that she still needed to clean out her closets. Still needed to unpack the moving boxes that were stowed away in the attic.

Lately all her time was spent on either Lu or Milo, trying to make both relationships work and feelings like she was failing at both of them. One of the two always seemed to suffer and having the realization of what she was doing to Milo certainly wasn't helping. It made her want to retreat from both relationships, needing a moment to herself to figure out what it was she wanted. Truly wanted. Not hearing her parents' voices in the back of her head telling her what she should want. That had hurt her relationship with Lu too many times.

She had wanted to talk to both Milo and Lu together, figure out how this was going to work. But both had blown her off and part of her was glad. Glad that she could now postpone this and maybe get an idea for herself for what she even wanted. Not the selfish version, but one that would actually make all three of them happy.

Andy had only taken one bite of her food when the doorbell rang. She pulled her blanket around her closer as she made her way to the front door, looking through the peephole for who it could be. She opened the door with her frown, surprised that both Milo and Lu were on the other side, absolutely freezing in the snow outside. ''What're you guys doing here?'' She asked as she let them in. It wasn't unusual for either of them to be at her house—even if they weren't usually intimate there—but it was strange for the both of them to be there.

Milo hung up his coat and took Lu's from her as well. They shared a look, ''we went out for dinner,'' Milo explained, ''talked about some stuff.''

Andy started to turn to him, already filled to the brim with questions, but Lu stopped her. ''What's going on?'' Andy asked, feeling the energy it the room. She was used to some unusual behaviour from both Lu and Milo but nothing like this. She could feel Milo take the blanket off her shoulders and felt his hands moving down her back.

Lu smiled, ''we just want to try something,'' she said, closing the gap between her and Andy and kissing her.


	25. The Ménage-À-Trois

I've got so many things to say. 1) sorry this took so long, between new anti-depressants making it impossible to write sex scenes as well as my computer crashing, this whole chapter took a lot of time. 2) I've still got many things planned for this story but if you have any suggestions please let me know, I would be happy to incorporate it in! 3) And as always, thanks a bunch for the review! 3

* * *

 **—The Ménage-À-Trois—**

* * *

Andy could feel Milo's hands drop down her arms, clasping her hand and pulling her up the stairs behind him. She half-turned around, looking at Lu who was smiling. She could feel butterflies in her stomach and had a pretty damn good idea of what was about to go down—something that she didn't expect would ever happen. She had hoped that Milo and Lu would try to get along but she didn't think it would lead to anything like this.

She could hear her bedroom door close behind her and turned back to Lu—somewhat nervously. She was standing between Lu and Milo and was waiting for one of them to take the lead, as they were so keen to do, but it took a second.

Milo locked eyes with Lu, checking to see if she was still on board with this. Their dinner had been friendly enough, and they hadn't even talked about their relationships with Andy all that much which was a surprise to both of them. He wasn't sure which one of them had brought up their talk during seven-minutes-in-heaven at Bob's cabin and how Lu had suggested a threesome back then, but that memory certainly got them talking.

They hadn't exactly gone in depth with their plan, only briefly talking about what they each wanted out of it and what was strictly off limits, this with their fingers crossed that they knew Andy well enough to fill in those answers for her. He had his arm around Andy's waist, holding her close to him. He leaned in and kissed her softly, pulling away after a second to find Lu with a small smile still on her face, which was the most he would've hoped for. With a nod from Lu he reached for the hem of Andy's sweater, pulling it over her head and tossing it to the side.

He kissed down to her collarbones, only coming up after a second to look at her. ''Are you okay with this?'' He asked, not wanting to be presumptuous. He knew that she was into both of them, but she hadn't expressed interest in wanting to be with both of them at the same time.

Andy licked her lips before nodding. She wasn't exactly sure what 'this' entailed but so far it seemed to be heading in a pretty good direction. She could only imagine how much they had discussed what was about to go down, and even though part of her wished she had been there, right now she was just eager to find out what they wanted to do.

Andy could feel Milo's hands on her through her thin tank top, turning her slightly towards Lu. She reached a hand out to pull Lu closer and kissed her deeply, only pulling away for a second to let Milo pull her tank top off, and she could feel Lu tugging at the strings of her sweatpants. It was only when those had come off as well that she realized both Lu and Milo were still completely dressed, and she had no doubt in her mind that that was completely intentional.

She could feel Lu's slightly cold hands on her warm skin, touching around her stomach and waist—Milo's lips were on the back of her neck and she could feel his hands moving towards her front, closer and closer to her underwear. She could feel his hand slide in, part her lips and touch her, and she moaned into Lu's mouth. It had been too long since she had felt Milo's hands on her and she had missed it a lot, even despite having Lu around. Despite her many attempts over time the two were incomparable.

Andy wasn't sure what they expected of her, what they wanted her to do, but more importantly she had no idea what they were going to do. The part of her that craved to be in control was rearing its ugly head but she decided to ignore it. She trusted Lu and Milo enough to ignore it.

The bulge in Milo's pants pushing against her ass was distracting Andy from Lu and she pulled away from her slightly. Lu's face was a bit flushed, she had almost forgotten Milo was there and when she looked at him she immediately regretted not more thoroughly discussing what they were going to do. With them both wanting to take control she knew that Andy already expected a power struggle between them and the last thing Lu wanted to do now was make her feel uncomfortable.

As soon as Andy had pulled away from Lu she expected one of them to guide her to whatever they had decided to do, but when neither of them did she turned back to Milo. She kissed him on the lips as her hands travelled down to his belt buckle. As she undid it she could see the reaction on his face every time she 'accidentally' brushed her hand against his erection. His hand was on the back of her head, tangled in her hair, as he pulled her face to his own.

She could feel their tongues battling with each other as his belt finally came undone, she drew out unbuttoning and unzipping his pants and she smiled against his mouth when he groaned. Andy could feel Lu unclasping her bra and she let it take it off of her before sinking to the floor, coming face to face with Milo's crotch. She looked up at him and licked her lips as he watched her with hooded eyes.

It was moments like these—not that she had had them before—that Andy knew she could never give up Milo nor Lu. When it was just her and Milo together she felt such a longing for Lu, was absolutely infatuated with her and had even ended up cheating on Milo with her because of it. But now that she hadn't been with Milo in a few weeks, she had missed him. Had missed being with him, had missed tasting him and having him inside of her. Knowing that both those issues would soon be resolved only served to arouse her more.

She looked up at Milo as her hand circled around the base of his dick, her tongue darting out to push against the head. His eyes were fixed on her as he watched her breathlessly. Just like with Lu she felt a bit uncomfortable, almost insecure, by being watched, but she wouldn't let that deter her. As she took him in her mouth she could feel Lu get on her knees behind her, pressing herself up against Andy.

Lu watched Andy get to work and for a second pondered what to do next. She had no sexual interest in Milo and he didn't have any in her far as she knew, they had both agreed that it would mostly just revolve around Andy, but she wanted to find a way to still include herself in this part. Lu regretted that they hadn't gone more in depth about this; they both knew about the other that they liked to be in charge but it hadn't come up in their discussion.

Lu pushed some of Andy's hair to the side, careful not to control her head movements, and started kissing her neck. Her hand snuck around Andy's waist and down, rubbing her through her underwear. She could hear a soft moan coming from Andy and apparently the vibrations coming from that were very much welcomed by Milo. She knew without looking up that he was watching the both of them. He may not be interested in her sexually but he was very much interested in her sex life pertaining to Andy. She couldn't blame him.

Andy's hand found its way to Milo's thigh, needing something to hold onto for stability. Even though she had never come from giving a blowjob she had gotten awfully close and couldn't deny that she very much enjoyed it, to now have Lu touch her during it… It made it difficult to focus on the task at hand… and mouth. Her moans became louder, longer, faster, and just as Lu picked up on how close Andy was and sped up her movement, Andy followed suit. Her hand sped up its movements as well and she could feel Milo's hand brush against her head.

It was rare for him not to grab a handful of her hair, his silent way of telling her 'don't stop', but with how close Lu was to her now she knew right away he didn't feel comfortable doing that. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and even though it was Lu that was bringing her to orgasm, for a few seconds it was as though Lu wasn't there, like Andy and Milo were alone together. Their eyes were on each other as Milo came first, Andy swallowed his load without a second thought, never slowing down her movements and she could see in his eyes that she once again didn't disappoint.

Andy didn't stop stroking him but took her mouth off of him, a satisfying 'plop' as he left her lips. Her body relaxed against Lu's curves for a second before her back arched away from Lu, and even though she knew they didn't mind her moans she couldn't help but bite her lip and try to hold back, knowing that there were two pairs of eyes on her. It was a rather futile attempt though.

She could feel Lu's arm around her waist, holding her close to Lu's body as her other hand finally slipped inside Andy's underwear. Two fingers were inside of her as Lu's palm rubbed against her clit, and it proved to be a lethal combination. Andy remembered looking at Milo's cock with lust before her vision went black for a second, and she fell back against Lu's body as she rode Lu's hands.

As she finally came back to her body, her moans turning into whimpers as she grew almost too sensitive under Lu's touch, Milo pulled her up to her feet. She kissed him hard, glad that he wasn't grossed out by kissing her after coming in her mouth. She could feel Lu's hands on her body and pulled away from Milo, wanting to make sure she didn't forget her.

Lu kissed Andy, guiding her back towards the bed and pushing her down on it. She vaguely noticed Milo disappearing into the bathroom but didn't pay mind to it. She grabbed the hem of Andy's underwear and pulled it off of her, glad to have it finally out of the way. Andy reached out for her and she lay down on the bed, half next to Andy, half on top of her. They were kissing each other and Lu could feel Andy's hand slip between her legs, after a second Lu did the same to her hoping that she wasn't too sensitive.

Andy could feel Lu rub her clit and she pushed her legs together. Her other hand was on Lu's cheek but it wasn't long before she moved it down, stroking Lu's soft skin, feeling every curve under her hand, getting wetter as she took every inch of Lu's body in, feeling incredibly lucky to be with her.

Milo walked back into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of the two women lying next to each other on the bed—clearly both enjoying themselves and each other immensely. The time he had spent away from Andy had not only given her the opportunity to figure out what it was _she_ wanted, it had also allowed _him_ to spend some time getting used to the idea. Whilst he still felt possessive over Andy, he felt more comfortable sharing her with Lu now. And he had to admit that watching them together was an incredible turn-on for him.

He watched them stare into each other's eyes as they came together. After coming down from her high, Andy's eyes met Milo's. He smiled at her, giving her a nod to encourage her to keep going. More than anything he just wanted her to be happy.

He didn't know how long he stood there as he watched them continually switch positions, their hands and mouths never stopping—too eager to please one another. He could hear them speak quietly with each other from time to time, to both guide as well as love. It was continuously clear though that Lu was in charge, through the subtlest of looks they gave each other, as well as the way they touched. It was what he had known from day 1, and it was what made him the most hesitant to have her around when he was with Andy.

The more he watched them the more turned on he got, but it wasn't until Lu was going down on Andy that he decided to jump back in. He knew that Andy didn't mind him telling her what to do during sex—the opposite actually—and he hoped Lu would respond as well. She hadn't seemed too pleased about it the last time he had done that, which now seemed like a lifetime ago.

''Switch.'' It came out softer than he had intended to, but it got Lu's attention. Andy seemed too into what Lu had been doing to notice Milo at all; when with either of them it was easy to forget about the other one unless they made their presence well-known. Milo could see Lu looking back at him, one eyebrow lifted. ''Switch around,'' he said, hand gesturing at them. Lu didn't question it, but Andy looked confused, wondering why Lu was suddenly pulling away.

Lu moved up Andy's body, kissing her a few times before rolling them over, pulling Andy on top of her, hoping she'd get the message. Andy looked at Lu hungrily with dark eyes, she could feel Lu's chest against her own and moved her hand up to massage one of Lu's boobs, feeling the hard peak against her hand made her smile. She moved down a bit and could feel Milo's hands land on her hips, pulling her closer to him.

She could feel him rub against her slit with his dick and she softly pushed back against him, wanting to feel him inside of her again. He slipped the tiniest bit inside before pulling back out again and they both groaned, Andy's head leaning down on the mattress between Lu's parted legs, her hands—which were shaking just a bit—pulled Lu closer to her. She started kissing the inside of Lu's thighs, sucking on the skin, dragging it out before turning to the center.

Lu was practically dripping wet, and Andy darted her tongue inside of her, lapping up all the juices. Her mind was foggy from how Milo was teasing her, but she tried to focus on Lu. Just as her tongue finally made contact with Lu's clit she could feel Milo slipping inside of her, and almost came right there and then. She was still so close from what Lu had been doing just a minute before, and having Milo inside of her—setting a torturous tempo—had her moaning over and over again. She sucked Lu's clit inside her mouth, her moans vibrating against the sensitive knob. Her hands were clenched from trying not to be too loud, grabbing the flesh on Lu's legs and surely leaving bruises.

Milo quickly set a good pace, watching his dick disappear into Andy—thinking about how much he had missed that when he was away. His gaze eventually moved up, watching Andy's body as a link between him and Lu, whose face his eyes landed on next. Her eyebrows were scrunched up, and she was watching Andy's ministrations. Her hand was on Andy's head, but not in the way his hand was usually there. It was in a more loving manner. Showing that despite the power dynamic between them, and despite how eager they were, it was still making love that they were doing.

Milo's hands were on Andy's ass, massaging the cheeks. For a second he considered giving one a firm slap but quickly decided against it. Now was not the time for him to show how much he liked to be dominant, it was about showing Andy that he and Lu could be happy with all three of them together—even if in the future that didn't just pertain to their sex life. Plus, it wouldn't mix well with how loving Andy and Lu were being to each other. Despite Andy loving it when he spanked her, he wanted it to be a completely loving and positive experience. No mixing pain with pleasure.

Milo's gaze moved up Andy's body. Her hand dropped to the bed and gripped the sheet tightly, her back was arching into the bed, her mind going blank. She pulled away from Lu a bit and her moans quickly turned to whimpers as Milo never even slowed down.

When she looked up at Lu she could see that she was looking up at Milo with a smile, happy that so far this experiment was working out. Eventually Lu's gaze fell back to Andy who was staring back at her with a jaw slightly slacked, trying to catch her breath. Her pupils were large, her face flushed and slightly sweaty. Lu reached out a hand and wiped a few strands of hair away from Andy's face before guiding her back to Lu's centre.

She never quite came down from her first orgasm, immediately on the cusp of the next one. She tried to find the right rhythm for Lu and could immediately tell when she found the right one, Lu's back arching up and her hold on Andy's hair strengthening. A few curses came from Lu and Andy smiled against her centre, it was the last thing she heard before Lu's thighs squeezing against her head—as the sensations almost became too much—cut off her hearing.

Feeling Milo's seed spill into her made Andy become undone again. Her moans made her lips vibrate against Lu's clit, pushing her over the edge as well. It was as if fireworks were going off in her head, her whole body shaking. She tried to remain focused, to stay on the task at hand and let Lu ride her whole orgasm out but it became harder by the second.

She didn't know how long it was before Milo withdrew from her, before Lu's hold on Andy with her legs lessened and she could actually pull away. Andy felt tired and when she looked at the alarm clock she realized they had been at it for at least two hours now. She could feel Milo pull her up the bed with him to lie down, and it wasn't long before she was nestled comfortably between Milo and Lu.

* * *

 _''It's never going to happen, is it?'' Lu asked as she watched Andy get up from her desk chair. She could see a confused look cross Andy's face, ''us. Nothing's going to happen between us.''_

 _Andy hesitated. She considered Lu one of her closest friends and she didn't want to put that in jeopardy, but she had to be honest. ''Lu, you're one of the best friends I've ever had, and I love spending time with you, I like… being intimate with you, but it's never going to be more than what it has been these past few months. I just don't feel that way about you.''_

 _Lu knew Andy was lying to her as well as herself—probably to the point where she believed her own lies—, but was tired of questioning it. She nodded slowly, trying to accept it. ''Okay,'' she said, ''guess you made your choice.''_

 _Andy looked down, ''now you have to make a choice,'' she said. On Lu's face she could see that she didn't quite follow, ''either we go back to the way it was before and pretend that none of it ever happened, or we go on the way we have been for a while now and have that be all it'll ever be.'' She looked back and forth between Lu's eyes and knew that even though the knowledge that Lu wanted more would always be hanging over her head, she couldn't be more than this to her right now. That didn't mean that she wanted to give up what they had though, she enjoyed it far too much for that._

 _Lu was hoping for a third option but knew there wasn't one. She also knew that it didn't matter which option she chose, sooner or later Andy would find her way back into Lu's arms—she always did. And just like she had said, she'd be there like an idiot waiting for her._

* * *

Lu watched on from the doorway to the bathroom, ''you're insatiable,'' she said, surprised to see Andy… enjoying herself in the bathtub not even an hour after they had had a threesome with Milo.

Andy opened her eyes with a blush, ''I got bored,'' she said, motioning for Lu to come closer. It was rare that she had the time or energy to draw herself a bath, but after Milo had gotten paged back to the hospital and Lu had dozed off, it was as good a time as any. As she had sank down in the warm water it wasn't long before the memories from their threesome came back to her, her hand travelling down south hadn't been a conscious decision.

Lu sat down on the edge of the tub, ''so what'd you think of tonight?'' She asked. She had heard the version Andy had told when Milo was there and was curious to see if it would change now that they were alone together. ''You sounded like you had a good time.''

''I did,'' Andy said, ''I didn't expect it though. Didn't expect you two to go out for dinner, let alone everything else. I'm glad that you two are getting along, even if it was a bit weird to be with both of you at the same time.''

''We figured it was something we should try sometimes,'' Lu said, ''plus Milo mentioned about you having a threesome with Nick and Peter and brought up how I jokingly mentioned we should have one like a year ago, and there's no better time than the present… his words, not mine.'' She looked at Andy, ''we just felt that if this is going to work we need to find a way to share you, instead of you going back and forth between us with both of us trying to control your sex life.''

''He agreed to that?'' Andy asked, somewhat surprised. She could never see Milo stop being the dominant one when they had sex with each other, and she could only imagine his reluctance when it came to being hands off about her sexual relationship with Lu. He had been there with them—literally—since day 1, it almost felt natural to have him exert some of his own will onto them.

''He did, and if I want to make you come neither of us needs his permission for that,'' Lu said, in slight disbelief that it needed to be said. She hesitated to continue, ''do you ever worry that he might be too controlling?'' She asked Andy, looking away from her, sure that Andy wouldn't take kindly to the almost accusation coming from Lu.

''What do you mean?'' Andy asked, not sure what Lu was trying to get at. She could feel herself start getting defensive but suppressed that natural instinct. If she and Lu were going to make this work then it was important that they could communicate about everything, and say things even if the other person might not like it.

''He almost coaxed us into having sex with each other,'' Lu said, no doubt in her mind that Milo had told Andy his fantasies to plant the idea of her and Lu together in her mind. ''The second time we were together he literally stood there and told us what to do, I walked in on him spanking you with his belt-''

''I'm not complaining about that, trust me,'' Andy said, putting her hand on Lu's arms.

''Your sexual perversions aside,'' Lu said, ignoring the chuckle that elicited from Andy, ''our first time together I felt like he was constantly daring me to continue, to push the limits further.'' She could see that Andy wasn't totally getting the point. ''I'm just worried that him pushing past boundaries might eventually hurt you,'' she said, ''I mean, today it's just telling us to switch positions, but who knows what might come next.''

''He doesn't force me to do anything I'm uncomfortable with,'' Andy said. Her body was tense and she couldn't believe Lu had been carrying this around with her. ''I like it when he takes control, when he wants to try new things, and I wanted him to spank me,'' she rubbed Lu's arm softly, trying to comfort her. ''He's only this controlling when we're in bed together, and even then he still listens to me. We have a safe word, I've only used it once and he listened immediately. I know that it might look strange from the outside—as does you and me being together—but he respects my boundaries and I feel safe with him. He has never hurt me in a way I didn't want to be hurt.''

Lu nodded slowly, ''if you say so,'' she said. She was only concerned about Andy's well-being. She could see Andy mulling things over in her head but decided it was time to change the subject. Lu dragged her hand through the water, splashing some against Andy in a playful manner, ''I should've gotten a place with a tub,'' she said, mostly to herself. She had rushed to find a place after leaving Jonas, hadn't though too much about what her new apartment offered. A cramped bathroom with a leaky showerhead, that's what it offered.

Andy could see the steam droplets that had settled on Lu's skin, soaking her pajama top. ''You can take a bath here sometimes, you're always welcome here,'' she said, not realizing until the second _after_ the sentence had left her mouth just how much she meant it. She liked having Lu near. Andy grabbed the back of Lu's shirts, pulling her in the tub with her, water spilling over the edge of the tub onto the white tiles beneath.

Lu shrieked Andy's name, ''oh my God,'' she added quietly as she looked down at her soaked clothing, her legs still dangling over the edge. She looked at Andy, too surprised to form words. The smile on Andy's face was contagious though and Lu couldn't help but return it. After a second she relaxed, putting her arms around Andy and snuggling close to her in the hot water. She already knew getting out of the tub would be a drag, but for now she just wanted to forget about everything else for a second and just focus on Andy's skin against her own.

''About Milo,'' Andy said, not quite finished with that subject just yet. She could hear Lu groan but decided to ignore it. ''Even though he and I are together, it doesn't mean that he has anything to do with what happens between us. If you don't want him to be a part of our sex life then he doesn't have to be. What we did today doesn't have to happen again, he doesn't have to ever be around when we have sex.'' She didn't see what Lu saw between her and Milo, but she knew Lu wouldn't bring it up unless she felt really serious about it.

Lu shook her head, ''it's not that I feel unsafe around him or anything, and I really enjoyed what we did today… I just want you to make sure that you're safe, I needed to hear about the safe word and all that,'' she said. There was a moment of silence between them, ''let's just see how it goes, we don't have to decide right now what role he's going to play.'' She relaxed back into Andy's embrace.

Andy looked at Lu and felt as if he heart was growing 10 sizes, ''why did I fight this for so long?'' She asked quietly. She could feel Lu start to pull away so she could look at her, but Andy held her close. ''I knew I had feelings for you, and no matter how many times I lied you saw right through it… why didn't I just accept it? We wouldn't have had to wait so long to do this.''

''I'm just glad you finally came to your senses,'' Lu said. Andy was one of the most sensible people she knew, but when it came to love she had a lot to learn. She could feel Andy put her head on her shoulder and rested her head against hers, softly scratching Andy's back as they lay there together.

* * *

''Hi,'' Andy said quietly as she walked up next to Nick. He was standing at the tall desk in the ER going over patient charts and it was the first time in weeks that she'd been able to be somewhat alone with him. There were patients in several bays but everyone was too busy minding their own business to bother them. He shot her a quick glance before looking away, ''are you going to be mad at me forever?''

Nick had been able to somewhat let it go, and he wasn't an idiot, he knew that he and Andy co-parenting a child would've never worked. But still, to abort it without even mentioning it to him… ''You killed our-''

''Our clump of cells?'' Andy asked, interrupting him, knowing that she wasn't doing the whole thing justice. She knew that it had been wrong not to consult him at all, but even if she had the end result would've been the same; he wouldn't have been able to change her mind. The moment the two lines had showed up clear as day her decision had been made.

''That 'clump of cells' had a heartbeat,'' Nick said. That is what pissed him off the most, how callous she was about the whole thing. He knew she could be selfish at times—even if she had good intentions—but she had been selfless during their whole relationship and he had hoped for the same courtesy afterwards.

''I know,'' Andy said, ''believe me, I know.'' The heartbeat, and later the lack of one, had replayed in her mind a thousand times now. ''And I'm sorry I didn't tell you, you deserve more than that, but I genuinely thought telling you would only hurt you more,'' even if he wasn't ready to listen—and she was pretty sure he wasn't—it was the truth and she was sticking with it.

Nick looked back at her, ''I do deserve more than that,'' he concurred. They looked at each other in silence for a few moments before he sighed, ''I get that our relationship wasn't anything significant, and that us becoming parents together would not have worked, but I expected more from you. I had hoped that you wouldn't just cut me out the moment someone else came along.''

Andy looked back on the times she talked with Nick while they were sleeping together, how close to him she had felt and how much she had confided in him, versus how many times she had bothered to spend time with him since then. She had dropped him like a hot brick—emphasis on the hot. ''I'm sorry,'' she said, ''and in case it matters, it wasn't insignificant for me.'' She bit her lip, ''the night we conceived our… little clump was the first—and only—time you told me you loved me, even if you didn't mean it.''

''I think it was because the condom broke, not because of the 'I love you'—our relationship was more about the lack of love,'' he reminded her, thinking back to that night and a sly smile formed on his face. ''I mean, I told you I loved you and your reply was, and I quote: ''I love your-''

Andy shushed him with an embarrassed chuckle as a blush crept across her face, ignoring the grin on his face as he enjoyed teasing her. Him not only reminding her of her choice of words but also doing a terrible impression of her voice and throwing in some soft moans as well as imitate what she could only guess was the face she made when she came, it was rather inappropriate in an ER where two bays over someone was literally dying. ''Trust me, you don't have to remind me,'' she said as memories of how he had felt inside of her came flooding back to her. ''But it's not just that; you made me come to grips with who I really am, made me realize that I do have feelings for Lu.''

Nick smiled. ''Glad to be of service,'' he said, ''so what's going on between you two now? Is it appropriate again to refer to you two as lesbian lovers?'' There was a small grin on his face, thinking back to the first time he had ever used that nickname around Andy. He remembered how embarrassed she was, which was the exact moment he realized just how deep her feelings for Lu really were.

''That never was and never will be appropriate,'' Andy said surprisingly sternly. She took a deep breath, ''but yes, we are… involved, with each other.'' They had told Marc as well as her daughters but weren't quite open about their relationship just yet. Not only because it was in many ways still in the early stages, but also because they didn't know what the social and professional consequences of their relationship would be. Nick, however, had been a cheerleader for their relationship long before it took actual shape, and Andy had no doubt in her mind that soon it would be an open secret among their small circle of friends.

A frown crossed Nick's face. ''Are you and Morton no longer…?'' He asked, sure that he would've hurt something about that if that were the case. Also, he couldn't imagine Andy breaking up with Milo after he had broken up his marriage for her, even if Nick was sure that she was madly in love with a certain partner of hers.

''Milo and I are still very much together,'' Andy assured him, ''as are Lu and I.'' She knew she didn't have to say anything else, he was old and experienced enough to fill in the blanks she was sure.

''You're having your cake and eating it too, huh?'' Nick asked, a small smile on his face as he thought about how lucky Milo was. He had never made it a secret to Andy that he was more than a little interested in what her and Lu's sexual endeavors entailed, and this only added fuel to that particular fire. ''You dog,'' he said and he could see Andy blush. Nick put his hand on her shoulder, ''I'm happy for you,'' he said. No matter how hurt he was by her recent actions, this was genuine, and he was glad she had told him about it. He could see a gurney being brought into the ER, and with just another nod he walked off.

Andy followed him with her eyes as he switched back into doctor mode. She was happy that she had told him, and that it seemed like one day he might forgive her for aborting their little clump with a heartbeat.

* * *

Andy had finally been able to break away from delivering the first baby of the New Year and made her way to the hospital's rooftop. From there you could see the firework show in the distance, and she and Milo had agreed to meet up there as early as they possibly could. As she walked out the door she could already see him standing there in the snow and a smile crossed her face. It was softly snowing and with winter being her favorite time of year she couldn't think of anything better to walk into.

She needed to remember to find Lu later to wish her a happy new year and to toast champagne to the first babies of the year born, as had become somewhat of a tradition between them. She snuck up behind Milo, linking arms with him before giving him a peck on the lips. They both looked back at the firework in the distance. ''Happy new year,'' she said, and after hearing him say it back she cocked her head, ''any new year's resolutions?'' She asked, knowing he didn't believe in that.

''Spend more time with you,'' he said, knowing that the fact that he had an answer surprised her. ''Maybe have a baby…?'' He added, pulling a snowflake out of her hair.

Andy pulled away a bit, ''we talked about this. I'm not sure it's even an option, we would have to-''

Milo put his finger to her lips, needing to get back on track before his nerves got the best of him. ''I said 'maybe have a baby', the emphasis on 'maybe','' he swallowed hard. ''I feel like a lot of aspects of our future are uncertain right now, not just whether or not to have kids but also what adding Lu to our relationship will look like…'' he could see the confusion on Andy's face and pulled away. He turned so he stood in front of her, taking her hands into his own.

''I know that we haven't been back together all that long, and that we have a lot to figure out, but I know without a doubt in my mind that whatever the future holds, I want to find out with you,'' he said, getting down on one knee. He could hear a small gasp come from Andy and he looked up into her eyes, finding a mix of disbelief and small tears. ''I left the ring at home because I didn't plan on doing this right now, but if our relationship has taught me one thing it's that no matter how much you plan, things can always take a different turn.

''And so, right now, there's no one I'd rather be with, nowhere I'd rather be,'' he thought back to how he had almost moved to Seattle, something that seemed a lifetime ago, ''then be right here with you. I want every moment to be this moment; I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Andy Campbell, will you marry me?''

It took a second for Andy to open her mouth, left speechless by Milo words. Just as her mind seemed to process what had just happened and she opened her mouth to say 'yes', the door to the rooftop opened and she turned around to find Lu standing there with a shocked look on her face.


	26. The Answer

A slightly shorter (but still plenty sweet) chapter. Guest (I still don't know who you are :( ), thank you as always for the review! They never fail to brighten my day and I want you to know that they inspire me a lot. I don't know you but I love you and I loved the suggestion that you put in the one for last chapter and I want you to know that I do keep that in consideration, everything in due time :)

* * *

 **—The Answer—**

* * *

Andy turned back to Milo, suddenly conflicted on what to do. Just seconds ago she had been about to say yes to his proposal but now she wasn't so sure. Lu had been so insistent on their relationship with each other being equal to the one Andy had with Milo, being married to the latter wasn't anything close to being equal.

Milo quickly looked back from Lu to Andy. He knew that Andy would never marry him if it meant hurting Lu and he suddenly regretted not asking Lu's permission like he had asked Jesse and Lizzy's permission—whilst at the same time feeling like he shouldn't have to. Andy had made it very clear that her relationship with Lu was completely separate from their own relationship, but as he waited for her to answer he started to doubt if that was true.

Andy looked over her shoulder back at Lu who had her hand over her mouth, silently waiting for anything to happen. They made eye contact and Andy could see her nod slightly, as if to urge Andy to just say yes. With tears in her eyes she nodded at Milo and she could feel him lightly squeeze her hand, she was too choked up to actually say the word 'yes'.

A small smile spread on his face but he didn't want to be presumptuous. ''Yes?''

''Yes, I'll marry you Milo Morton,'' Andy said, pulling him up to his feet and kissing him on the lips. After they broke apart she looked in his eyes for a few seconds, smiling at him, wanting to remember that moment forever. When she finally looked away, and turned to the door to see Lu she found that Lu had vanished.

''She slipped out,'' Milo told her, holding Andy tight. He wasn't entirely sure why Lu had been there in the first place—as he hadn't planned to do this right now and he couldn't imagine Andy making plans to meet Lu up on the roof as well as him, but he was glad she had been. Increasingly more she was an integral part of their relationship—despite how separate they claimed their relationship was from his and Andy's— and he knew Andy needed her reassurance that it was okay. He appreciated that Lu had slipped out relatively quick though; he still wanted time alone with Andy, especially during important moments like these.

Andy put her arms around Milo, looking off into the distance at the firework. She could hear his heartbeat through his chest and it was soothing in a way. She was looking for the right words to say, wanting to tell Milo how much she loved him, but her mind was occupied with Lu. Yes, she had nodded, she had looked okay with it, but Andy couldn't be sure. Even though it hadn't dawned on her initially to ask Lu if she was okay with it, now all she wanted to do was find Lu and ask her.

''I asked Jesse and Lizzy a long time ago, before we even broke up, but checked with them again a few days ago. They were hesitant since they now know about you and Lu but were ultimately fine with it.'' He knew that even though he had neglected to ask Lu for permission, it was very important to Andy that he had asked her daughters.

''I'm glad.'' Andy knew that it was customary for the man to ask the woman's father but this was better. Despite how much she loved her father they were very different people, her daughters were much more important when it came to this decision. Not her father who still didn't understand why she had chosen to divorce Les, she had never disclosed the abuse to him or her mother, nor did she want to. It was now pretty much irrelevant and she'd worry for Les' safety if her father did know.

* * *

Andy could see Lu walking down the hall ahead of her and sped up to catch up with her. A smile crossed Lu's face when she found Andy walking next to her, knowing that Andy wanted to ask her if she was okay with the proposal but not sure if she should.

''I really am okay with it,'' Lu said, reiterating what she had already told Andy with just a simple look, she focused back on the file in her hands. Bob Jackson had sent over loads of paperwork for her to go through, needing to dot the Is and cross the Ts.

''I didn't say anything,'' Andy said, keeping her eyes half on Lu as they slowly made her way down the hall. There was so much she wanted to say but wasn't sure where to begin, and Lu seemed a bit distracted by the files. ''Are you though? Okay with it, I mean.''

''Don't worry about it,'' Lu said, ''I had been expecting it for a while to be honest.'' She had half expected him to propose the moment he decided not to get on the plane with Sandra, but had been pleasantly surprised when he didn't—she couldn't even imagine what her relationship with Andy would be like if he had asked her right away.

''I just know that it's important to you that both relationships are equal and they really won't be if I marry him,'' Andy said, watching Lu for a reaction. There wasn't much of a reaction but she did sense something, ''I need to know that you're one hundred percent okay with it, if you're not then I won't marry him.''

Lu threw her a look, ''you would've said yes without a second thought if I hadn't showed up.'' She immediately wished she could take back the accusation but knew that it would have haunted her if she hadn't said it. It had just been a hunch but the look on Andy's face confirmed it. She had expected it and even though she was okay with them getting married she was somewhat bothered by that. She saw an empty exam room up ahead and grabbed Andy's hand, pulling her in there with her. ''Look, of course I want there to be a balance between both relationships and I hope that you keep that in mind but I really am okay with this.'' She could see on Andy's face that she didn't quite believe her. ''I would love to marry you but that isn't an option. You and Milo have been together a lot longer and you can actually officially get married.''

Andy gave her a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, ''that's true,'' she said, disappointed that their relationship could never be equal to her and Milo's in this regard. She gave Lu a peck on the lips, ''I wish we could have that one day,'' she added quietly.

A small blush appeared on Lu's face as she leaned into Andy's body somewhat, ''are you saying you want to marry me one day?'' She asked. It had taken her way too long to get Andy to admit that she even had feelings for her, but now that they were an actual couple their relationship seemed to move quite quickly. And even though Lu hoped they'd stay together she also knew that most of their relationship had been more so based on lust than love.

''It's a bit soon to tell,'' Andy said, but couldn't help the grin that was on her face. Her hand was on Lu's cheek, ''I just wish we had the option.'' It was the first time she had actually come close to voicing this wish despite having thought about it more than once. ''But…''

''We don't,'' Lu finished for her. ''We'll see what the future brings,'' she said, knowing that it was never going to happen. She could see a bit of disappointment on Andy's face and was quick to ease her concern, ''I'm okay with the fact that we'll never have that, okay? I'm a realist and no matter how much I want to shout from the rooftop that I love you-'' she had actually shouted it from the rooftops when Marc graduated high school so the idea wasn't too farfetched in her mind- ''I know that our relationship will always have to be somewhat of a secret.''

''Maybe one day that'll change,'' Andy said, hopeful she was right.

Lu cocked her head, ''I'm not holding my breath,'' she joked. She put her arms around Andy's waist, ''if us remaining a secret means that our jobs won't be in jeopardy and you can still one day become surgeon general, then that's a small price to pay. And I honestly never expected us to be out anyways, I don't expect you to introduce me to your parents as your girlfriend, I don't expect you to do that with anyone besides our friends.''

Andy hated that they had to be careful about this. Just being in a same sex relationship could mean trouble with a number of people, her also being with Milo eliminated 99% of the remaining people. All she cared about was that Milo and her children knew. ''I wish you didn't have to be, but I'm glad you're okay with it.''

Lu smiled. ''I know I said I wanted things to be equal but all that I care about is that things are equal in your eyes, that you give both of the relationships the same amount of priority. I don't care what it looks like to the outside world.''

* * *

''Why are we doing this again?'' Nick asked as he put his tray down on the table. Andy had asked him—actually not so much asked as informed—that they were going to have lunch together. They never had before just the two of them and he couldn't possibly imagine why, it wasn't as if she had to inform him she was pregnant or anything…

''I remembered what you said about the fact that we haven't talked much since we ended our… relationship?'' The last word came out as a question; she still wasn't sure how to refer to the whole thing.

''Our liaison,'' Nick 'corrected' jokingly. He was equally clueless.

''I felt that maybe we should talk from time to time, I miss that from our relationship,'' Andy said honestly. It hadn't been quite until he had mentioned it that she had taken a step back and realized just how much she had given up by practically cutting Nick out of her life. ''From our liaison.''

Nick laughed at her. ''You miss me asking you inappropriate questions, making crude jokes about you and Lu…?'' He could see it coming back to her in flashes and he chuckled, knowing that that wasn't what she had missed. ''Better that than anything else,'' he said. A look of confusion crossed her face, ''better you miss our talks than miss me fucking your brains out.'' He said, his voice getting quieter and quieter with every word. He appreciated what she was doing but he still loved making her just the slightest bit uncomfortable, replacing the flashes of his jokes and comments with completely different ones.

Andy was lost for words for a few seconds. ''I just don't want you to feel that I used you for a while and then… replaced you when Milo came back.''

''I've told you many times that I don't mind you using me,'' Nick said, thinking back to the beginning of their relationship. ''It's not as if I expected it go anywhere. Like I said about the baby, I was mad that you didn't tell me about it but I understand why you did it, and I know I'm not exactly marriage material-''

''Except that you are,'' Andy interrupted him. ''I mean, I never saw you as such and I never considered our relationship going in that direction. But I know you better now and you're a good person, a good man, and any girl would be lucky to marry you, I want you to have that some day.''

''I hope so,'' Nick said. ''Well, you've already taken one possibility of the market…''

''As if you and Delgado would have ended up together,'' Andy said, squinting at him, not being able to picture it. Over the years she had watched Nick chase every skirt that his gaze had landed on, but she had never seen him give Lu much of a second glance, though she couldn't imagine why not.

''Really, still with the last name?'' Nick said, somewhat surprised by how unsurprised he was.

''Old habits die hard,'' Andy shrugged. ''There is someone out there for you though.'' Her thinking about him with someone else reminded her of when Peter had joined in one day, she remembered how comfortable they were with each other and how at the time she had wondered just how extensive their relationship really was. ''Boy, girl, whoever it is, I just hope that you find them.''

''Boy?'' Nick asked, raising his eyebrows, a look of confusion mixed with amusement on his face.

''Just something I sensed between you and Riggs,'' Andy said, wanting to keep it vague enough as not to offend him. She didn't mean to imply anything but for some reason it wasn't difficult for her to imagine there actually being something between them and she wasn't sure if that's because there was something or if it was just because her relationship with Lu.

''Really?'' Nick asked, growing curious. He scooted a bit closer to her, not wanting the whole cafeteria to hear every little detail. ''What did you sense while you were sandwiched between him and me, with both of us inside you, touching you everywhere, making you come over and over and over again… What did you sense then?''

Being with Milo and Lu who were both fond of making offhand sexually charged comments, making her feel uncomfortable in the best way possible, had made her immune to these kinds of comments. ''I'm just saying that you two seemed awfully comfortable with each other,'' she said, smiling at the fact that he hadn't elicited the response he had hoped for—whilst wondering why he would try to make her feel that way—''I'm not saying there was anything between you two, just simple curiosity.''

''Well, despite what his mother seems to think, Peter's very much straight,'' Nick said. He remembered how much he had teased Peter over the years because of what his mother thought. He couldn't blame her though, Peter was quite different from most men and Nick could certainly picture him with another man, although he wasn't sure that wasn't just him being hopeful. The fact that Peter had been more than willing over the years to share women with him, and how that always seemed to include their lips locking at one moment or another, Nick could pretend that meant nothing for the sake of his own sanity.

Andy squinted at Nick, ''how about you?'' She asked, noticing how he had conveniently left that out. True, she had only seen him chase skirts but it wasn't as if she had ever paid much attention to him until they started their relationship.

Nick looked down at his drink for a second, ''I'm about as straight as you,'' he answered, avoiding her gaze even when he did finally look up. ''I guess Peter is my Lu in that analogy, except he and I are never going to go anywhere,'' he added, desperate to change the subject, ''besides, last he told me has feelings for Kayla.''

Andy cringed internally for a second. Kayla had become like a daughter to her since having moved in almost three years earlier; Andy had already felt a bit strange to sleep with Peter because Jesse had once had feelings for him, to now have someone who was like her own child actually get into a relationship with him… it made her just a little uncomfortable.

* * *

Milo plopped down on the bed next to Andy, handing her a manila envelope.

''What is this?'' Andy asked. She had gotten home from work at a reasonable time but Milo had only just come home—despite Lizzy being home he was still staying over, something that was rather rare for them. She looked over at him as he made himself comfortable next to her, wondering if she was intended to open it.

''The annulment papers,'' Milo said, ''received them in the mail yesterday and considering our plans for the future I want to take care of it as soon as possible.'' It had taken a while for Sandra to get her affairs in order in Seattle and actually get around to filing for an annulment of their marriage, Milo was glad it was finally happening though. ''So, with that in mind,'' he reached into his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box.

A broad smile crossed Andy's face as Milo grinned back at her. She didn't particularly care about what the ring looked like as just the prospect of marrying Milo was much more important, but was still curious as to what Milo had chosen. She tried to push Lu from her thoughts as Milo opened the box, revealing a simple gold band with a single diamond on it. It was simple but elegant and suited her tastes. Of course she had seen this coming and they both knew she had already said yes, but to make it official still meant a lot.

Milo still felt a sense of nervousness despite this merely being somewhat of a formality. He knew Andy had talked to Lu after he had initially proposed and had no idea what had been said as they hadn't talked since; he could only hope that Andy still felt the same way as she had the day before. ''Andy March-Campbell, will you do me the honor-''

''Yes,'' she answered, interrupting him, her voice thick with emotion. She took his face in her hands and kissed him, blinking the tears in her eyes away. What she had told him months before was true; she had known for a long time now that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and considering the fact that Lu had claimed to be okay with it all the last traces of doubt had been removed from Andy's mind. Whilst she still didn't know what exactly her future with Lu entailed, she now at the very least had some clarity about what the future held, for the first time in a very long time; she was glad to have it.

Milo happily kissed her back before pulling away so he could slip the ring on the appropriate finger. He held her hand in his own a few seconds longer, glad at the sight of it finally in its right place. It had been a long time since he had bought the ring, before their break-up even, and he had looked at it from time to time imagining finally marrying Andy. Even when he was with Sandra and had committed himself to her he still knew that she wasn't going to be the one he would ultimately end up with, it had always been and would always be Andy who was the one for him. To finally have the moment be here… all he could hope for was that nothing would throw a wrench in their plans.


	27. The Sacrifices

Oh drama galore! Lu is a bit mean, Andy is a bit misunderstanding, and Milo just wants to get his dick wet. This chapter pushes this ''little 3-shot'' into the 100k+ territory [unbelievable!], I hope you enjoy.

* * *

 **—The Sacrifices—**

* * *

''Come on, just come out and show me,'' Lu encouraged as she leaned against the changing room door. A smile was on her face, she knew that Andy would be too embarrassed to actually come out—despite there not being any other people in that area of the store—but was too excited to see it to care.

''I am not coming out,'' Andy said sternly as she looked in the mirror, turning from side to side so as to see every angle. The morning had started out fairly innocently. Now that Andy and Milo had been engaged for a month Lu had decided it was time they go shopping for a wedding dress, they found a little boutique that at first seemed promising but had ultimately proved to be a flop. Andy didn't know why she hadn't protested when Lu had then suggested to go lingerie shopping.

She never really bothered much with lingerie. Milo had voiced the fact that he much preferred to find nothing under her clothes over some lacey thing that didn't cover much anyway lots of times, and after he had ripped one of those very expensive lacey things she had decided it was easier to just not wear any at all. It was only at Lu's insistence that she was now standing here, trying to ignore how unflattering the lighting was.

She had half a mind to just change back and forget about this whole thing but Lu was knocking on the door and Andy knew that letting her see it was the easiest way to get her to shut up about it. With a sigh she opened the door, her head cocked to the side, ''this is ridiculous.''

Lu's smile quickly vanished as her jaw dropped. It took her a few seconds to regain her senses and she stepped inside and closed the door behind her, staring unabashedly. ''You should wear that all day every day,'' she said, looking over Andy's shoulder into the mirror. She had always known Andy looked good in red and this piece only solidified that.

''Delgado!'' Andy said, trying to get Lu's horny mind out of the gutter. Lu gave her a look, still not understanding why Andy had such a habit of still calling her by her surname. She turned to the mirror, trying to see what Lu saw, but it only served to make her more uncomfortable. ''I'm just going to change back and we can get some food,'' she said as she reached for the clasp on her back which was holding the one-piece in place.

''Even better,'' Lu said. She could see Andy's face in the mirror and knew that she was waiting for her to leave. She had every intention of staying though.

Andy turned to Lu, raising an eyebrow. Over time she had gotten a pretty good idea of how Lu's mind worked and it didn't bode well. ''No,'' she said softly and she could see Lu was starting to protest, ''we're in public…''

''We're alone in here,'' Lu said, ''the door is closed. And even though you can pretty loud at times I'm sure you could remain quiet if you tried.'' Her hands were on Andy's waist, stroking the soft lace. She softly kissed Andy's lips, one of her hands moving up and cupping Andy's breast. It was Andy who was the one to deepen the kiss and Lu couldn't help but smile internally.

It was the sound of people outside the dressing room that brought Andy back down to reality. She softly pushed Lu away, now wishing that she didn't have to. ''You're such a horndog,'' she muttered as she turned away and pulled the straps down her arms, still instinctually covering herself as more and more of her got exposed.

Lu took a break from mentally cursing the people outside for a second and focused her attention back on Andy, ''I'm just really into you.''

* * *

PDA wasn't exactly Andy's thing, nor was it Milo's, but Lu seemed to have different ideas. It was still relatively harmless but the thought that someone from the hospital could come in and see them together still made her uneasy about how close Lu was sitting next to her. They were sitting side-to-side, their thighs were touching but other than that they seemed to almost ignore each other.

Andy was too focused on the thought of someone seeing them; the only break she got from that paranoia was when Lu 'inadvertently' brushed her hand against Andy's body. Lu's mind was occupied with what Andy was wearing under her clothes. She had ultimately convinced Andy to buy the lingerie, only to then push her into a public bathroom to change into it. Knowing what was underneath Andy's conservative clothing was making it difficult to hold a conversation. It had been Lu's suggestion to just go back to her apartment and see what happened, but Andy had insisted on getting something to eat first.

As Lu finished her meal and wiped her mouth with her napkin she looked over at Andy who seemed deep in thought, ''what'ya thinking 'bout?'' Lu asked as she slipped her hand into Andy's under the table.

Andy pulled her hand away, quickly looking around them to see if anybody had noticed. ''Nothing,'' she answered quickly. A sigh escaped her as she tried to think of a way to change the topic, ''is it hot in here to you?''

It had been merely a minute since Lu had pulled her jacket closer around her for some warmth, ''you're making it hot,'' she said, leaning closer to Andy. The look on Andy's face made her roll her eyes, ''lighten up, nobody in here knows us.'' When the look on Andy's face didn't change she pulled away, running her hands over her jeans, ''I'm gonna get some coffee, do you want anything?''

After shaking her head Andy watched Lu make her way over to the bar. She didn't quite know why she was suddenly feeling so paranoid, just a sense of impending doom that had suddenly washed over her. For a second she was lost, staring mindlessly into her tea as she stirred it before fishing out the tea bag. When she looked back up she didn't like what she saw, some guy standing just a bit too close to Lu, his smile just a bit too wide, a bit too eager to make small talk with the beautiful Latina.

It took her back to the time some random guy had tried to talk Lu into having a drink with him, before Lu made it known that she was taken by Andy. What happened later was some of the best sex they had ever had, but it didn't quite make up for the pangs of jealousy. It didn't help that Lu didn't seemed too bothered by the guy.

Andy watched them as Lu ordered, then the guy ordered, then they hung around just a little while longer standing and chatting with each other. She couldn't look away. With how well she now knew Lu it had become easy to pick up on her subtle ways of flirting. Her eyes were fixed on the two of them until Lu made her way back over to their table.

With her eyes still on the man—who was following Lu's every move with his gaze as he smiled—Andy pulled Lu closer to her, intertwining their hands and pulling her close.

Lu watched Andy send death glares at the guy and chuckled, ''I thought Milo and I were the jealous ones,'' she commented as she blew on her cup of coffee, impatient for it to cool down.

''I'm not jealous,'' Andy argued back as she finally looked back at Lu, immediately feeling her heart soften. ''I just like having you all to myself,'' she said, leaning closer to her. They were still far apart from each other that it wouldn't look suspicious to unsuspecting eyes, but Andy didn't care as much anymore. A strange look crossed Lu's face for a split second and Andy frowned, ''what?''

Lu shrugged dismissively, ''it's not as if I have you to myself,'' she said, looking down at her coffee.

Andy was taken aback by this. ''Are you saying you want to see other people?'' She asked, wondering when this new development had taken place. Before what had just happened Lu had never expressed interest in seeing anyone else, and though Andy had to admit that the guy was _very_ handsome she knew that Lu didn't believe in love at first sight and doubted that there had been that many sparks. Even from a distance she had been able to see how much of a smooth-talker he was, something that she knew turned Lu off.

''No,'' Lu answered immediately. The thought had never even crossed her mind. Never minding the fact that she and Andy had really only been together for a few months at best and it was too soon to figure out what exactly she wanted from their relationship in the future—whether that meant adding more people or not—it was not as if she had time to maintain another relationship even despite sharing Andy with Milo. Her work kept het plenty busy which had been one of the pitfalls in her relationship with Jonas—aside from her sleeping with Andy.

Andy frowned, ''then what are you saying?'' It would be so easy to just dismiss Lu's words but that was not in Andy's nature. It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed that Lu seemed different since Milo had proposed to Andy—one moment really excited about the wedding and the next moment seemingly pulling away—and she wondered what was at the root of it. Lu had verbally expressed nothing but delight over it but her attitude contradicted that.

Lu waved it away with her hand, ''I'm not saying anything.'' She maintained. On Andy's face she could see that she wouldn't so easily shrugged it off so decided to try the right words to convey what she was feeling without pushing Andy away, ''we've been saying for forever now that we're just going to play it by ear, that neither of us knows what the future looks like so why plan for it…''

Andy gave her a strange look, ''yeah?''

Lu took a deep breath, ''I guess I just need to know that we're in heading in some direction, any direction at all. Your relationship with Milo is progressing, you're going to get married and are going to be living together… and we're… dating? Just doing our thing and seeing where it's gonna go?''

Andy hesitated to respond, knowing that Lu would never fully see it from her perspective. ''I know it might not seem like it to you but that… dating, that's a huge step for me.'' She sighed as the frustration on Lu's face seemed to grow, ''what do you expect me to say? We can't get married… we can't have kids together, we can't even move in together-''

''Why not?''

''You said you were okay with us keeping this a secret,'' Andy said, reminding Lu of her words. It had been one of the prerequisites that Andy had needed to give their relationship a chance—Lu had promised that that would be okay in order to secure their careers, but now she seemed to completely blow that off.

''I said that I was okay with us keeping it quiet, I didn't mean tell nobody of us,'' Lu argued back, ignoring Andy trying to get her to lower her voice as they were still in the diner. ''Do you know what I gave up for you? I lost my relationship with Jonas, my home, even my relationship with Marc isn't what it was anymore… I gave up too much for you to just sit here and say that we're just going to date in secret forever.''

''You think I didn't give anything up?'' Andy asked, now raising her voice as well and Lu trying to shush her a bit. ''I nearly lost Milo over this, Jesse and Lizzy are still mad at me because of this… I'm risking my lifelong dream to be with you.''

''Except you're not… you want us to date in secret, which in no way impacts you becoming surgeon general. And you didn't lose Milo, and your daughters still talk to you-''

Andy interrupted her, ''but I could have lost him, and I risked that for you, just because it worked out in the end okay doesn't take away from that,'' she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. ''I hate that you lost Jonas and your house and I hate that Marc isn't talking to you, okay? I love you and I want you to have everything… but you can't blame us for all of that, I didn't ask you to give all that up. Jonas was okay with us sleeping together, you could've stayed with him but you decided not to.''

''That's a crock and you know it,'' Lu said plainly. ''And besides, that's not the point.'' She turned away a little bit but saw in the corner of her eyes that Andy raised her eyebrows, silently asking what the point was then. ''The point is that I would risk all of that for you, and give all that up, and you haven't had to sacrifice anything. It's a lot easier to take things lightly when it doesn't cost you anything.''

''Doesn't cost me anything? You know what would happen if the news that I'm dating two people came out? How do you think our co-workers would react… my family, my friends… the military, my shot at becoming surgeon general. We could both lose our jobs, lose all our money-''

''Well as long as it's about money.'' Lu said, shaking her head.

''It's not,'' Andy said, quickly cutting in. ''It's about the fact that this is not a traditional relationship, which doesn't fare well with pretty much everybody who isn't in a relationship like this themselves. What do you think they're going to say when they find out about their relationship? They have their own ideas of what makes a good candidate and what doesn't-''

Lu narrowed her eyes, getting sick of listening to Andy's little rant. There wasn't even talk of Andy being nominated for the post of surgeon general, nor was there anyone who had found out who had thought it was amoral or anything like Andy seemed to be suggesting. She interrupted, ''if you pulled the self righteous stick out of your butt you'd see that life isn't so black and white.''

Andy took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and keep herself from putting Lu's attitude in check as she was wanting to do. ''You're angry in your heart, and you have every right to be,'' despite their conflict she could still see that Lu indeed had given up a lot, ''so I'm going to let that pass.''

* * *

Andy was still fuming from her brunch with Lu when she closed her bedroom door behind her. Milo was half passed out on the bed. He had worked a long shift and had asked if he could crash at her place, since the nanny had off it actually worked out perfect for her since Lizzy wouldn't be home alone.

Milo propped himself up on his elbow, his smile which had formed when Andy walked in was quickly fading. ''Are you okay?'' He asked, watching her pace around. He knew that she had gone shopping with Lu so he had thought she'd be in a good mood when she came home. He pulled her towards himself and after a moment of resistance she relented, letting him pull her into his arms. ''What happened?''

''We had a fight,'' Andy mumbled, unsure if she wanted to talk about it at all. She had promised Milo she would avoid intermingling their relationships and she wanted to be true to that, but if she couldn't blow off steam to him then to whom? Despite Milo's words she knew that he was still invested in her relationship with Lu, and even just the fact that he wanted Andy to be happy meant that she knew he still wanted to know what was going on. ''I think she wants to see other people.'' Andy said, knowing that was not at all the point Lu had been trying to make but not feeling like getting into the second half of their fight; knowing that she was to blame for a lot of it.

''Well why shouldn't she?'' Milo asked honestly, knowing that Andy wouldn't like it. He had always heard that happy wife equals a happy life, and if being with Lu made Andy happy then so be it, but he also knew that their relationship caused Andy quite some stress and he didn't know if it would be worth it in the long run. He could see Andy frown at him, ''you have both me and her, why shouldn't she be allowed to have someone else as well?''

''Are you serious right now?'' Andy asked. She twisted in his lap to face him more, ''are you saying that you should get to see other women because I'm with Lu?'' Her mind was already made up that she would never be okay with that, but thinking about it logically she couldn't think of any reason she should be allowed to date them both but they couldn't.

''I won't but I think I should be allowed to,'' Milo said. To him marriage was sacred even if the other person didn't abide to it, he would never step out on Andy and he had come to see her relationship with Lu as something other than cheating, but he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else. ''I'm marrying you,'' he said, ''it's different than your relationship with her.''

''I'm as committed to her as I am to you,'' Andy countered, ''and just because we won't have some piece of paper doesn't mean our relationship is any less legitimate.'' She stood up from his lap, needing some room to breathe.

''Some piece of paper?'' Milo asked, sounding a bit offended, ''if we're going to get married I'd like you to think of it as more than signing 'some piece of paper'.'' He couldn't imagine Andy having ever called marriage that before she had gotten with Lu, but he wanted to know that their relationship wouldn't be any less significant or less of a priority to her just because of Lu.

''You know I didn't mean it like that,'' Andy said with a sigh. She couldn't believe that not only had she had a fight with Lu but now she had managed to get Milo upset with her as well. ''I love you and I can't wait to marry you, I just don't want Lu to feel left behind. You know how important that is to her but I can't marry her, I can't have her move in-''

Milo spoke before he truly thought about what he was saying, ''why can't she move in?'' He interrupted. He had never pictured his married life with Andy involving another woman in her life, but now that he was slowly getting used to the idea he couldn't imagine that Lu wouldn't someday move in with them. Even though he was advocating for her right to be with someone else if she would like to so that maybe she'd fall in love with some guy and break it off between her and Andy, he had seen the way they were together and knew that Lu mentioning dating someone else was merely an idle threat. ''Jesse is off to college, Kayla will probably move out at one point or another, it's not like there's no room at the inn.''

Andy took a few steps towards Milo again, ''you would be okay with that?'' She asked, ''I mean, it wouldn't happen anytime soon,'' definitely not before she and Milo had gotten settled into married life together, and their marriage was still a few months away, ''but one day…?''

''I'm not saying you wouldn't have to make it up to me,'' Milo said, putting his hand on her hip to pull her closer. He could see a knowing smile form on her face, ''but I'm sure we can come to some agreement.''

''Make it up to you how?'' Andy asked, feigning innocence, as she took a few steps backwards, out of his reach. The memory of what she was wearing underneath came bubbling up and she reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it off over her head. She could see his eyes go wide, taking a deep breath as he stared at her, a muttered ''oh fuck'' under his breath… she kept backing away from him, kicking off her shoes, unbuttoning her pants.

It happened in a flash that her jeans came off and Milo had pushed her up against the door to the bathroom—her front leaning against the cold wood, his body leaning into her back—, slipping the bottom of the teddy to the side for access. She could feel him push his fingers inside of her and gasped, she was more than a little turned on but the sudden shift between fighting and this meant that her body had no time to catch up. It didn't usually happen between them like this, no kissing nor touching before getting down to business wasn't their style.

The feeling of his leg pushing between hers made her realize that she had been trying to close them. She didn't want to but her body had different ideas. After he had pumped his fingers inside her a few times, and he could feel her wetness spreading on them, he unzipped his pants—not bothering to take them, or his underwear for that matter, completely off.

Andy could feel him slip inside her and leaned her forehead against the door, needing something to hold onto as he would inevitably make her weak in the knees. She could feel him run his hands all over her torso, rubbing the lace against her soft skin and causing goose bumps to form all over. His teeth scraped against the side of her neck and caused her to moan quietly.

He set a quick tempo, making her pussy ache. While it didn't usually happen she could come from penetration alone, and he was hitting all the right spots, but it just wasn't quite enough. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the feeling of him inside her, trying to nudge herself closer to the edge with mere mind control.

His dick twitched inside of her and she knew he was already close, knowing that when he took her like this it was because he was more horny than usual and wouldn't last as long.

When she started to move her hand down to between her legs he grabbed her wrist, planting her hand firmly against the door. She could hear him growl ''no'' and whimpered in frustration as she tried to close her legs just a little bit to get some friction. She could only imagine that it was because of their fight that he was being like this, and though she hated that she now couldn't come she still somewhat got off in a completely different way on him asserting dominance.

His arm snuck around her waist, pulling her close to him and despite there being no skin-on-skin contact she still loved the feel of him against herself. With one hand he softly yanked her hair back, giving him access to her throat and kissing her there, breathing in her perfume.

The sound of his labored breathing drifted into her ear, signaling that he was getting closer. She thrusted back against him, clenching every time he was on an 'out-stroke', which pushed him over the edge. He thrusted into her a few more times as his seed spilled inside of her, drawing out his orgasm as long as he possibly could, his hand was cupping one of her breast and the feeling of the weight in his hand only made his mind foggier.

They both groaned as he finally slipped out of her. Milo immediately missing her warmness around him, Andy because she had gotten really turned on but had no alleviation. Still, she was as weak in the knees as she expected and she sank to the floor, trying to gather her thoughts. Usually Milo only withheld orgasms from her when she 'needed to be punished', as he had so eloquently put it. She couldn't imagine what she had done this time that would make him deny her this even though it turned him on as well when she came.

By the time she looked up to ask him he had already disappeared into the bathroom to clean himself up, leaving her alone, his seed spilling out of her and onto the floor.


	28. The Punishment

Even though I'm slow with uploading I'm still far from done with this story, however, if any of you have any ideas for this story [just stuff that you want to see happen] let me know and I'll try to incorporate it to the best of my abilities!

* * *

 **—The Punishment—**

* * *

Lu dropped her medical journal on the coffee table and got off the couch, it was getting pretty late and the journal was boring her to death. Countless cups of coffee had done nothing to combat her exhaustion and she figured she might as well go to bed and get a fresh start in the morning, only changing her mind when there was a knock at her door.

Part of her wished that it was just Marc who had forgotten his keys; both because she hadn't seen him that much since she and Andy had told him about their relationship, as well as because she would be able to kiss him goodnight and go to bed anyway.

Opening the door revealed Andy though. A very tired Andy, wearing a long dark coat as it had been cold lately, her hair being held up with a claw hair clip, heels that Lu knew would be considered by Andy to be ''ridiculously high''. Lu knew that she had plenty to apologize for after their brunch earlier that day, but also knew that Andy had even more to apologize for and didn't feel like giving her the time of day.

Andy put her hand on the door to keep Lu from closing it, ''I'm sorry,'' she said. After a moment she could see Lu relax the slightest bit as she walked away from the open door, allowing Andy to invite herself in. ''I know that you have sacrificed a lot and—while I wish you didn't have to—I know that I should be more grateful for that.''

Lu sighed. ''Look, it's not as if I would want Jonas back even if we weren't together, and while our house was nice I'm just as comfortable here… I just wish that our relationship was going somewhere, that we didn't have to leave a foot of distance between us out of fear that someone will see us together. I know that you'll never tell your family about us and that's fine, we can be selective with the people we tell at work, but when we're out and no one there knows us I need you to relax and not be so paranoid.''

''I know I can go a bit overboard,'' Andy concurred, ''and I'll try to be calmer in the future. In the meantime,'' she fished a key out of her pocket and held it up for Lu, ''even though I can't marry you, I do want to think about other ways I can commit to you, I'm not asking you to move in but…''

''Is that a key to your house?'' Lu asked, a smile widening on her face. She took they key from Andy before her face fell a bit, ''so, with making more commitments to each other, what're you going to do if you get nominated for surgeon general?''

Andy took a deep breath, ''we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.'' She knew that with everything Lu had given up the least she could do was give something up that she technically didn't even have, even if it had been her lifelong goal. ''I think that at the moment it's more important that you and Marc get back the relationship you used to have.'' She knew how difficult it had been for Lu to not have Marc around right after getting used to him being around again.

Lu shifted uncomfortably, ''he'll talk to me when he's ready,'' she said, not fully believing it. Yes, it was important to Marc that his mother was happy, and as far as she knew he wasn't homophobic, but he seemed to have quite some difficulty with this. ''What about Jesse and Lizzy, do you think they'll get over it?''

''They're slowly getting used to it,'' Andy said, ''they've always liked you better than me anyway,'' she added with a laugh. There were many times Jesse had asked her why she couldn't be more like Lu when she and Andy were having arguments. They had been a bit distant since she had told them about the relationship but that had somewhat died down over time, and now when Lu's name came up they only seemed a little uncomfortable.

''Oh I'm sure that's not true,'' Lu said as she put her arms around Andy. They shared a look and Lu shrugged, ''okay, maybe it is true—but you're a great mom and they're lucky to have you,'' she added. Andy had shared plenty over the years about how difficult Jesse had been when she was still in high school and Lu could easily see how her and Jesse might get along easier than the mother daughter duo.

Andy chuckled but then decided to get serious again, ''and about you dating other people-''

''I don't want to,'' Lu was quick to butt in. She couldn't promise that she would never want to but at the moment no one else seemed to pique her interest. ''Although Brian is pretty cute…'' she turned away from Andy with a smile, not wanting to make it too obvious that it was mere innocent teasing. She was not intending to do anything with him, hadn't even given him her phone number, but a part of her liked seeing Andy's jealousy.

''Well, if you ever get bored with him, I'll be here,'' Andy said as she untied the sash that held her coat together, and let the whole thing drop to the floor.

Lu turned back to Andy to respond, but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Andy only wearing the lingerie Lu had convinced her to buy earlier. She had enjoyed making Andy just the little bit jealous—especially after she had made Milo and Lu feel that way—but Lu knew that her face at the sight of Andy like this completely betrayed how she felt. All her life she had been fairly boy crazy but since being with Andy none of them got as much as a second look from her anymore. Her talk with Brian had been a mere charade to get Andy's attention. And boy had it worked.

Andy could see Lu make her way over to her. No words were said but Lu's pupils had widened and Andy recognized the look on her face. No matter how much she had protested against buying lingerie—or even going to try it on—she couldn't deny that it was very helpful now; a good addition to her apology.

Whilst Lu knew that she had had just as much to apologize for, and they were pretty even now, she still wanted to take the opportunity to try some new things with Andy. Maybe she'd be more eager to comply now. ''So, what are you willing to do to make it up to me?'' She asked as she reached to the back of Andy's head, taking the clip out and letting Andy's hair fall down. Even though she could think of a million things she preferred for Andy to come with ideas for once.

Andy could feel Lu's hands stroking her hair before moving down to her face, cupping her cheeks, one thumb softly stroking Andy's lips. Andy rested her head a bit more against Lu's hand, looking into her eyes, ''anything.'' She really did mean she would do anything; and without intention flashes of what they had done and what they could do crossed her mind. The lingerie was supposed to turn Lu on, but now Andy was putty in Lu's hands.

Lu knelt down in front of Andy, her hands feeling down Andy's sides on the way down, stroking down her inner thigh when she got to it. Her hand reached for the heel of Andy's heel, pulling it off and tossing it to the side before moving over to the other one. For a brief second she nuzzled Andy's center, which was at perfect eye-level for Lu. Her hands were on Andy's hips which shifted the lace enough that she knew Andy would feel it. She knew Andy was turned on, and that she could indeed get her to agree to almost anything when she was this horny, but she wanted to make her wait.

Lu led her into the bedroom, secretly needing a minute to figure out a plan but that didn't fit with the in-control persona she was trying to show Andy. ''Get on your knees,'' she ordered, surprised by how stern she sounded. She knew that Andy had expected the sight of her in the red lingerie to get Lu to forgive everything—and she was very tempted to do so—, and so the second of hesitation and confusion in Andy's eyes didn't surprise her. ''I'm not asking you again, colonel.'' Reminding Andy of her military background certainly wouldn't hurt the odds of getting her to follow orders.

Andy lowered herself down onto her knees, keeping her eyes on Lu. She was a bit surprised by how quick they had moved from just talking to making their way into the bedroom. Lu had taken more and more to taking control—not unlike Milo—and it made Andy just a bit nervous. So far everything she and Milo and she and Lu had done had panned out okay, but they could only push their luck for so long. She shifted uncomfortably, she had never before noticed how rough the carpeting in Lu's bedroom was, and it was starting to hurt her knees. She noticed Lu was watching her with a raised eyebrow, clearly wanting her to sit still. ''The carpeting is just a bit uncomfortable,'' she told Lu as an explanation.

Lu was close enough to Andy that she could actually look down at her, silently cursing the fact that she was shorter than Andy. ''Are you complaining?'' She asked, her head cocked to the side, using intense eye contact to hopefully intimidate just a little bit.

Andy lowered her eyes, needing something else to look at then Lu's face. ''No,'' she answered. Because they hadn't discussed any of this beforehand she wasn't entirely sure what Lu expected from her, but she knew her well enough that she was sure she could figure it out. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to ignore how uncomfortable she was, sure that this too fell under the ''anything'' she would do. Her eyes eventually met Lu's again and she could see that Lu expected more. ''No, ma'am.''

Lu gave her a pleased look at this answer—ignoring Andy's slightly sarcastic tone—whilst racking her brain trying to decide on what to do next. There was something she wanted to try, and with how uncomfortable Andy sometimes felt Lu didn't think she could get her to agree to it under normal circumstances, but today was different… ''Touch yourself.'' She said quietly but firmly, standing just a foot away from Andy. She could see Andy look back up at her, clearly unsure about this. ''And tell me what you're thinking of while you're doing it; tell me what you fantasize about.''

Andy could feel a blush creep its way up to her face. A lot had changed since that conversation with Milo in which he had admitted his fantasy about her and Lu. Her fantasies had evolved from just being about Milo to including Lu which had eventually turned into including lots of other scenarios and people as well.

She couldn't help but shut down; sitting on the floor in just piece of flimsy lingerie which didn't leave particularly much to the imagination, having to share her inner desires… she felt too exposed and it left her lost for words. Her mind was racing trying to form the scenes playing in her head into coherent sentences.

''If you're going to wait much longer I'm gonna have to punish you,'' Lu said with a slight chuckle as she looked away. ''I mean, I would spank you but I don't think that's much of a punishment for you.'' She was balancing on one foot, her arms crossed in front of her chest. She didn't think it possible but when she looked back at Andy she seemed even more turned on than she had a ten seconds earlier, but other than that looked very uncomfortable. When Andy remained quiet Lu stared down at her, ''Andy?''

Andy shook her head, her hand resting on her thigh, only very very slowly making its way closer to her center. She closed her eyes, trying to tune Lu out, knowing that might make it easier. A deep breath calmed her down the slightest bit, she licked her lips. ''I fantasize about you, you are over at my house and we are talking about… random stuff,'' she waved it away with her hand, ''we are not together but for some reason you start to kiss me.'' There was a slight frown on her face, her hand resting on her lower belly, ''we are kissing, Milo walks in and that's it,'' she said, rushing the last part, not wanting to elaborate on it too much.

Andy opened her eyes again, looking at Lu. ''That's usually it.''

Lu cocked her head, ''you can't get a bit more specific?'' She asked. When Andy didn't respond she sighed, ''make it a little story. Turn me on with your words.'' She smiled, hoping Andy was up to the challenge.

''This isn't enough?'' Andy asked, motioning down to the lingerie she was wearing. Lu's face was telling her it wasn't. ''There's a reason I became a scientist and not a poet,'' Andy said, ''I'm not much for stories.'' Sure, she liked reading books from time to time—even if most of her reading material consisted of various medical journals—but that didn't change the fact that despite being well-spoken she wasn't a great writer. She could still recall how frustrating it had been to write a blurb for a book a friend had written about heart-healthy diets.

Lu watched Andy roll her shoulders, trying to get back in the mood. ''Close your eyes again,'' she suggested and watched Andy do it immediately. ''We are talking at your house…'' she started, trying to spur Andy to fill in the rest.

The details varied from time to time but it remained broadly the same. ''We are talking,'' she started, ''you make a joke about something and we both start laughing.'' With her eyes closed she could see the events unfold in her mind, just with the audio missing. She's laughing, looking away to try to regain her composure, when she looks back at Lu she's met with only a faint smile. ''When our eyes meet again you're smiling, I start to ask you something but before I can… you kiss me…''

Trying to keep herself from doing just that, Lu took a step back as quietly as possible. This was supposed to be a sort of punishment for Andy, but her words—which were not even remotely sexual [yet]—were already starting to turn Lu on and she had to remind herself to just let Andy do her thing for a while, to make herself disappear from Andy's mind as much as possible.

''I can feel your hand on my cheek,'' Andy said, her own hand brushing softly against her cheek, losing herself into the story whilst barely trying to, ''your tongue is in my mouth, and I can feel your body pushing back against mine, my back hits the wall behind me and… I try to stop you because I'm with Milo-''

Lu—who had started to get really into the story, trying to play it out in her head—felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her head. Milo. It was always Milo. Somehow he seemed to get brought up time and time again and even though she could never tell Andy, it did bother Lu. Mostly because she couldn't imagine Andy bringing her up in the same way when she was with Milo. Part of her wanted to kiss Andy, grab her by the hand and drag her onto the bed and not let her leave until she had forgotten who Milo even was. Not let her leave until she would promise just about anything for some kind of release. It was Andy's words that brought her back to reality.

''You turn me around roughly, you have my arm twisted behind my back to keep me in place, your right hand comes up and pushes the hair away from my ear as you lean in and start whispering that I have to do as you say… I try to push you away…''

Lu wished she could ask Andy to tell her some examples of the things she whispered in the fantasy, but she didn't want to break Andy's concentration. Just as Andy had touched her own cheek, she now had her arm behind her back as she had described, and Lu was watching every single one of her movements.

''I struggle against you for a while and finally you let me go, I face you and I talk about how Milo is going to be home soon and that I don't want him to know about this,'' her arm fell forward from behind her back and she leaned forward on the knuckles of it, needing something—anything—to hold her steady. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, ''you strike me across the face to-''

''Andy?!'' Lu couldn't help but let out Andy's name, too surprised by what she was saying to refrain from it. From their first time together she had been continually trying to push Andy's boundaries further and further but she had never struck her, it had only been a recent thing that she would even spank Andy from time to time. She knew that though it wasn't the full story, Les hitting Andy was the catalyst for what would ultimately doom their relationship to fail and the last thing Lu wanted to do was remind her of that. She couldn't possibly fathom how that would be part of Andy's fantasy and she wanted nothing more than to find out.

Andy shook her head; it was easier to share if she could tell the whole story as opposed to being interrupted in the middle and being asked to explain something as she knew Lu wanted to do. ''You strike me,'' she punctuated, ''across the face so I stop talking. You say that if I want you can leave and we never have to discuss it again, but I tell you to stay, I want you to stay… You grab my hand and drag me over to the bed, pushing me back onto it, and you tell me that if you stay we're going to do things your way. You unzip my pants and pull them off of me. You lie down on top of me and kiss me…''

Lu noticed Andy's breathing getting heavier, the hand that had previously been resting on her stomach was travelling inch by inch downwards and without meaning to Lu held her breath until the moment Andy finally did what she had been told to do: touch herself. It didn't last long though.

Andy tried not to get ahead of herself, her hand automatically moving up to her throat. ''Your hand moves downward,'' each word came out more slowly than the previous one. She mimicked the events of the story without thinking about it, providing Lu with a clear picture. Her hand moved down her chest, down her stomach, until finally—ignoring the lace covering her—she rubbed herself, and bit down on her lower lip. ''I can feel your hand in my underwear, and I- I try to push you away—it's- it's too much—but you won't let me.''

Lu was incredibly turned on and just the slightest bit disturbed by Andy's fantasy. There were so many questions she had but as she had vowed to herself to do, she remained quiet. Her jaw was just the slightest bit slacked, the frown on Andy's face mirrored Lu's own.

As Andy's fingers finally made contact with her swollen clit she bucked away, as always seemed to happen when she replayed this in her mind, it turning her on enough that she needed barely any touching to push her over the edge. ''You grab my wrists and move my arms up above my head, and tell me to keep them there. You push my shirt open and start to kiss your way down,'' despite it being January and not particularly warm in Lu's apartment, sweat droplets were starting to form on Andy's chest, her soft moans coming out between words as her hips rolled against her hand.

''You drag my underwear down my legs and throw them to the side…'' her labored breathing combined with her hand sending waves of pleasure coursing through her body made it hard to think let alone speak. ''You push my legs apart,'' she swallowed back a whimper as her hand seemed to have finally found a rhythm it liked, ''and kiss the inside of my thighs…''

Lu could tell Andy was just seconds away from coming, and decided it was as good a time as any to actually make this a punishment. ''Don't come.'' She ordered.

Andy's hand dropped to the floor as she pushed her legs together, even without touching herself she was pretty sure she could talk her way to an orgasm. She looked at Lu with pleading eyes—the first time she had opened her eyes since she had started talking—, silently begging her to just let her come. Often she had already come from her fantasy at this point; it was only the interruptions coming from Lu that had helped her hold out this long.

Lu shook her head, ''keep touching yourself,'' she told Andy, ''just don't come.''

Andy would be lying if she said that Milo not letting her come earlier was one of the reasons why she had come here in the first place, it was only with Lu that she didn't need Milo's permission, which, even though it had been a turn-on, could be pretty annoying at times like this. Her trembling hand made its way back to her core and even though she was tempted to just make it look like she was still masturbating without actually doing it, she knew she couldn't defy Lu's orders like that.

Lu watched Andy rock back and forth—trying to keep quiet—before falling forward. It was a fetus like position, the only difference being that Andy was still on her knees. The hand that she had previously been leaning on now laid out in front of her, her fingers stretching before gripping at the carpet. A small smile danced on Lu's lips, ''keep touching yourself,'' she encouraged Andy, ''and keep talking.''

Andy looked up at Lu for a second before allowing her eyelids to flutter shut again, ''okay, okay…'' she whispered, trying to remember where she was in the story.

Lu took a small step towards Andy, knowing that she couldn't see it but hoping that if Andy opened her eyes again it made it even more clear who was in control here. She decided to help Andy find her way back, ''I'm kissing the insides of your thighs,'' she reminded Andy in a low, seductive voice.

Andy's forehead was leaning on the floor, her thighs pushed tightly together as her hand between them was following Lu's orders whether Andy wanted it to or not. Her hips were rolling against her hand and her whole body was so focused on pushing itself over the edge that she almost didn't hear Lu—Lu, whose voice turned her on more than she would ever admit, Lu, who she was trying to pretend wasn't in the room. ''You're kissing my thighs,'' she managed to get out, her hips almost bucking away from her hand, it all being too much, ''and you're moving closer and closer and closer,'' the words were coming out slower and slower as her moaning took priority for her mouth it seemed, ''to the middle.''

''You pull away for a second and I think that you've changed your mind, that you want to leave, but then,'' her fingers finally found its way inside the lingerie, pushing it to the side so she finally had skin on skin contact with the most sensitive part of her body, ''you suck my clit into your mouth,'' she circled her clit with two fingers, pinching it between the two and moaning in response, ''you lick up and down the lips,'' her fingers ran over them, spreading the moisture from her soaked pussy over them, ''you- you bite them,'' she softly tugged on the lips before repeating it a bit harder, her whole body responding to her ministrations. Her back arched up, making her sit back on her calves for a second before falling forward again, her hand grasping at the spiked carpet as she tried and failed to control her breathing. She licks her lip but her mouth is dry, ''I hear the door open…''

Lu watched Andy quietly, her eyes glued to the other woman. One of her hands clutched her necklace as she stared wordlessly. She sat back on her bed and cursed quietly when it creaked, she could see it stirred Andy from her thoughts and she was quick to stop her. ''Don't open your eyes,'' Lu said softly. She wanted Andy to remain within her head, she had been sharing so openly and Lu knew that if she interrupted her again at this point then maybe she wouldn't start again. ''Just keep going.''

It took Andy a second to get back to where she had been just seconds before. ''I hear the door open,'' she repeated. Focusing on Milo instead of Lu for a second made it easier to talk. ''You don't seem to hear it but I lock eyes with Milo… he seems mad but doesn't say anything, just watches us as he closes the door behind him.'' In between the frames of the movie playing in her head there were flashes of previous encounters with Milo, making the memories of him being in charge of her, taking her however he wanted her, fresh in her mind.

Lu could hear Andy's moans coming faster, each one louder than the last. With her wanting her to not think about Milo but instead focus on Lu herself; she considered it the perfect time to finally jump in. She had been stopping herself the entire time and she needed a moment to calm herself down before she just pushed Andy down on her back and had her way with her, making this end way quicker than she had intended.

''You're ignoring him,'' Andy continued, her legs were pushed together to not give her hand as much room to do what she so desperately wanted to do, but it also intensified the pleasure she did feel there. ''But you notice me looking away in his direction and you grab me by the chin, forcing me to look back at you.''

Lu stood up from the bed as Andy was talking, finally crouching down in front of her, grabbing a fistful of Andy's hair and forcing her to sit back up straight, she stood up straight again, Andy's torso pushed against her legs. Taking inspiration from Andy's words, Lu took hold of Andy's chin—holding it just tight enough to hurt a little—and forced Andy to look up at her.

Even after Lu let go Andy kept looking up at her, ''I look down at you and we hold eye contact as you breathe in my scent,'' she finally looked away, her head rolling to the side before she buried her face in Lu's crotch, ''and you push your tongue inside of me…'' she wished she could do just that to Lu right now, but decided it was best to just do as she had been told, ''and lick up my slit…''

Lu couldn't be entirely sure that Andy didn't actually use her tongue to draw a line from Lu's pussy to her front, at least doing something that looked like it. She looked down at Andy, running her hands through the shoulder-length brown hair, stroking it away from Andy's face but not actually keeping it in place. She could see the sweat on Andy's brow and on her face Lu could see that she was beyond close; she could see that with just one word she could make Andy come undone, have her melt into a puddle of goo on Lu's floor.

Andy's hand traveled up the back of Lu's leg, coming to rest of her firm round ass. She was still humping her own hand, looking up at Lu, whimpering as she tried to stop herself from coming. There was only so much her brain could keep her from doing though, and only so far she could push her body before it finally decided that Lu's orders be damned, she was going to come no matter what. Her brain was foggy as she tried to push the words out, ''your teeth,'' looking up at Lu she could see those perfect teeth and in that moment she wished she could just do something with them, lick them for all she cared, anything besides this torture, ''your teeth scrape over my clit…''

Just as Lu opened her mouth to finally let Andy come, to finally let her have that sweet, sweet release, she was interrupted by her beeper. She stared down at Andy's pleading eyes, to just ignore the page and focus on what was happening right in front of her, but they both knew she couldn't do that. Andy's moans vibrated against Lu's crotch as she pulled her beeper out of her pants pocket, opening it up to see that she was being paged to the ER.

It had been her intention to not let Andy come at all tonight, before she knew just how intense Andy would get, her plan getting derailed by exactly that. This page though, it had come at exactly the right time.

Lu could see Andy shake her head, begging her to please say that she didn't have to leave, her grip on Lu's pants tightening as she needed something to hold her up. Lu leaned down, taking Andy's face into her hand and planting a kiss on Andy's slightly parted lips which were still failing at keeping her moans inside.

With one more caress of Andy's cheek Lu finally pulled away. ''I have to go, we'll continue this some other time.''


	29. The Story

The next chapter [ **which will be up Sunday 5/5** ] will bring us back to the actual plot a bit more and will feature Milo once again. This chapter... I always struggle to write Lana so excuse me if she's out of character. Also, I have no idea how far I should take the dominant/submissive aspect of Andy and Lu's relationship [or Andy and Milo's for that matter], if anyone has any input on that it's more than welcome!

* * *

 **—The Story—**

* * *

Lu ran her hands through her hair as she left chat room. After getting to the hospital on Saturday night she had assisted in an emergency surgery for one of her patients, deciding afterwards that being as tired as she was it probably wouldn't be safe to drive home, so opted to crash in her office instead. On Sunday it seemed as if her beeper had not stopped beeping for a single moment the entire morning, it had been early afternoon by the time she finally got home.

It didn't bother her too much, she knew Andy would be having dinner with Milo and his parents, breaking the news of the engagement to them; from what Andy had told her Lu couldn't imagine Milo's mother being too happy about that news. So, even if she had been able to find time Andy wouldn't have had time for her.

''Good morning, troops,'' Lu could hear Andy greet Lana and Peter and she smiled; old habits really do die hard. Lu watched Andy walk past Lana's desk and caught up to her as she was making her way to her office. ''Delgado,'' Andy acknowledged as she pushed open her office door.

''Mornin','' Lu greeted, ignoring the fact that Andy had addressed by her surname. Sure, she knew that Andy had done that for a long time, it was what she was used to, but considering the fact that they were dating… The only reason she could think of why Andy would address her like this was that nobody at work except for Nick knew. Andy seemed a bit more distant than usual though and Lu could only guess that it was because she had left her hanging two days earlier, she frowned ''Are you mad at me?''

Andy plopped down her briefcase on her desk and shrugged off her coat, ''Why would I be mad at you?'' She asked, seemingly softening a bit. Lu cocked her head at her and the message was clear, ''Patients come first, we both know that. It's not like I expected you to ignore a page.''

''Then what is it?'' Lu asked, leaning on the desk as Andy put on her white lab coat.

Andy had a look of confusion on her face though it wasn't entirely convincing, ''What is what?''

'' _''Delgado''_.'' Lu said, mimicking Andy's voice somewhat. ''I know that you're not comfortable being out to everyone, but you said you would be a little less paranoid. Nobody's going to think anything of it if you call me Lu; the most you'll get is Lana asking why you're still calling her Hawkins.''

''You mean she still doesn't know?'' Andy asked, actually somewhat surprised by that. Just because she and Lu hadn't announced their relationship to the whole world didn't mean they had been very subtle about it, and Andy knew that Lu had at least confirmed to Lana that something had happened between them. With how observant Lana was, with how much she pried into people's personal lives, Andy had just assumed that she knew.

''How would she?'' Lu asked, ''You wanted us to keep things private, and… I wanted you, so I listened.'' A smile danced on her lips. Yes, she had softened her voice somewhat for the latter part of that sentence but she would do that even if everybody knew about them. The door was closed but you never knew who was on the other side.

''She's your best friend,'' Andy reminded her. ''I just assumed you would share it with her.'' She sat down in her chair and moved her briefcase down the floor, casual as ever though inside she was nervous. She could only assume that now that Lu had been given the go-ahead she would actually tell Lana.

Lu narrowed her eyes at Andy, not quite believing that she would be okay with this. She walked over the door, opening it just a little bit, ''Lana?'' She called out, just loud enough for the receptionist to hear. She didn't want half the hospital to know that something was going on, suddenly feeling like she herself was being paranoid after accusing Andy of being paranoid.

After a minute Lana walked in, ''Yeah, kid?'' She asked, holding a patient file for Andy in her hand. She could see that Lu was a bit nervous; Andy was watching her which didn't seem to help. When neither of them said anything Lana dropped the file on Andy's desk.

''Andy and I are dating,'' Lu blurted out before holding her breath. Over the years she had shared so much with Lana, had asked for advice on boyfriend stuff more times than she could count. Lu had lost her mom when she was ten and since knowing Lana for so long she had almost assumed a mother position in a way, but she didn't know how Lana was going to react to this. The last thing she wanted was to lose the friendship they had shared for so long.

Lana looked back and forth between the two of them before turning back to Lu. Andy had remained awfully quiet and Lana could only conclude that this had been Lu's idea; Andy had never been all that willing to share the details of her personal life. ''I guess congrats are in order?'' She asked. She could see Lu and Andy share a look, ''You think Lana didn't notice there was something going on? Luisa, you told me you two slept together.''

''You what?'' Andy asked, in disbelief that Lu hadn't told her this. Lu seemed equally confused. Andy decided to ignore this, shaking her head to clear her mind, ''Thank you, Hawkins.''

Lana smiled at Andy, ''And you're still marrying Dr. Morton?'' She asked. When Andy confirmed with a nod, Lana took a second to let it all sink in before leaving the office, quickly followed by Lu. ''I guess when you wanted a partner you could get along with after Dana left you got your wish.'' She said, putting her arm around Lu's shoulder.

''So what do you think, really?'' Lu asked as they walked back to the front desk. So far Lana had taken it about as she had expected but Lu couldn't help but wonder if Lana wouldn't hide her true feelings to spare Lu's feelings.

''It's live and let live, kid,'' Lana said as she sat down. She could see that Lu didn't quite accept that as a full answer, ''whatever makes you happy, baby.'' Lana shared a look with Peter, wondering if he knew while he was wondering what she was talking about.

Lu knew she wouldn't get much more from Lana so decided to just accept it for what it was. ''Just Lana, please don't tell anyone,'' she was well aware of how much Lana gossiped, ''We're not ready for everybody to know.'' She was keeping her voice down so not everyone could hear her, ignoring the fact that Peter was not three feet away. She could see Lana glance over to him and then back at Lu with raised eyebrows. Lu sighed. ''Sure,'' was all she said before heading back to her office.

Peter looked at Lana with raised eyebrows, silently asking what was going on. Lana smiled, glad that Lu had finally opened up to her. ''Lu and Dr. Campbell are doing the dirty.''

* * *

''So how did it go with Milo's parents?'' Lu asked as she was getting ready to leave. Andy was standing in her office, coat on already, briefcase in hand. They were both going to their separate homes and Lu regretted not just asking Marc to go over to Andy's house so they could all have dinner together.

Andy yawned before sighing, ''About as well as could be expected,'' she said. Milo's mother, Eve, had never been a big fan of hers, even less so after Milo had left Sandra for her, and she had already assumed Eve wouldn't be too happy about the engagement. ''We ate apple pie in silence,'' Andy's apple pie was her only redeeming quality in Eve's eyes; she would use that to her advantage however she could.

''Sounds like fun,'' Lu said, ''How come you've never made me apple pie?'' She asked, she was stalling as much as possible until she got the guts to do what she wanted, ''Come here,'' she added after a second.

''We can make one together next weekend,'' Andy suggested as she absentmindedly dropped her briefcase into the chair, walking over to Lu, ''What's up?''

Lu pushed Andy's coat off her shoulders as she pushed her against the desk, ''We never finished what we started Saturday,'' she said, kissing Andy softly on the lips, giving her a suggestive look when she pulled away.

''We're at work,'' Andy reminded her, trying to ignore how good Lu smelled, how frustrated she had been since Saturday evening, she hadn't even had enough time with Milo to do anything. Despite that she let her coat fall onto the desk, her verbal protests had always been a lot stronger than her non-verbal ones, she could never hide how into Lu she really was.

''Come on Andy, there's no one here,'' Lu said. Aside from her office the whole clinic was dark, all the lights had been turned off almost an hour ago, even the cleaning crew had left.

''That's what we thought the first time we did this,'' Andy reminded her. It wasn't that she didn't want Lu; it was just that it was too risky at work. Telling Lana was one thing—even telling Peter as Lu had later hinted at had been okay, but risking having anyone walk in on them… At least Milo was still in surgery and wouldn't be out for hours, but who knew who else was still walking around? It's not as if the whole hospital shut down during the night.

''What? You don't feel like putting on a show for anyone?'' Lu asked jokingly between kisses.

''Well, while I'm sure Nick would love to catch a glimpse, exhibitionism isn't exactly my thing,'' Andy said as Lu unbuttoned her shirt. Her own hands travelled to the hem of Lu's shirt, pulling it over her head when she pulled away for a second.

''Oh come on, let a guy's dream come true,'' Lu said. She loved teasing Andy like this. Their entire relationship she had been pushing Andy's boundaries, while making sure she was never too uncomfortable, and it had always turned out well in the end. She had never fathomed having anyone but Milo—and she was even iffy about him—watching them, but she hoped Andy would trust her if she did ever make a suggestion that might be a bit outside her comfort zone.

Andy pulled away with a frown, ''Are you saying he's here?'' She asked, confused by Lu's wording. She was more than a little familiar with Nick's thoughts regarding her and Lu and could only imagine he would jump at the opportunity to be there in person.

''I'm saying relax, and let me give you my apology for Saturday,'' Lu said, after a second adding, ''He's not here.'' Just to ease Andy's mind and hopefully making her slightly more compliant than she would normally be at work. She sank down to her knees, looking up at Andy who was standing in front of her with her white button-up hanging open. She pulled Andy's shoes off, ''I'm sorry,'' she said, pushing Andy's skirt up over her hips, ''Even though I was right,'' she could hear Andy chuckle at her words as she pulled Andy's underwear off, ''I did say some things I shouldn't have.''

Despite being uncomfortable being this undressed at work, Andy couldn't help but laugh at Lu's words. She was right: last Saturday she had been right about a lot of things, but to have her apologize for what she had done still felt good. As did Lu's lips sucking on her skin.

''Now, continue Saturday's story,'' Lu said, still not wanting to let Andy off the hook. She could see the look in Andy's eyes asking her if she was serious, ''I want to hear the rest of it, you stopped at the best part.''

Andy cocked her head to the side, ''Do I have to?'' She asked, feeling too tired to get into it. Usually she used the weekend to recharge somewhat—even if, as a mom, she did have lots to do—but dinner with Milo's parents was never all that energizing, especially when the tensions rose high like they had.

Lu gave her a look, ''Humor me,'' she said, dryly.

Andy made up her mind to play along before looking away embarrassed, it had been one thing to let herself get lost in the moment and tell the whole story all at once, to now continue right where she had left off… it meant jumping in right at the sexiest part of the story. ''I don't even remember where I left off,'' she mumbled, looking for any excuse to not do this.

Lu could see the blush on Andy's face as she kissed her thigh. She had replayed Andy's words a million times in her head in the past two days and knew exactly the words that had been used, could picture Andy's face as she was telling the story perfectly, and knew exactly where she had left off. ''My teeth scrape over your clit,'' she reminded Andy and could see redness creeping up Andy's chest and up to her face.

It all came flooding back to Andy, ''Your teeth scrape over my clit,'' she repeated quietly, feeling awkward now that she wasn't as horny as when she had told the story before. ''Ehm…''

''I'm going down on you,'' Lu said, trying to prod her memory, ''Milo is watching us but isn't saying anything,'' she pried Andy's legs apart. She was hoping that if she could just get Andy to get lost in the moment then maybe she would relax a bit, giving herself the chance to come. Lu knew that if Andy stayed in her head too much then this was all a lost cause, ''Close your eyes.''

Andy swallowed hard before following Lu's orders. Flashes of the fantasy were going through her mind, ''You push your fingers inside of me,'' she said. Where seconds before she had felt a bit cold—it was still January after all and since it was after work hours the thermostat had been turned down—she was now already sweating.

''Like this?'' Lu asked as she pushed two fingers inside Andy, noticing that she was only a little wet and worrying that she hadn't given her enough time. She took her other hand to push one of Andy's legs over her shoulder for better access. She curled her fingers upward, feeling around a bit until she found Andy's g-spot. When she looked up at Andy she saw that she was biting down on her lower lip, nodding at Lu's question. As Andy didn't answer Lu pulled her fingers away, getting Andy's attention immediately, ''I'm only going to continue as long as you keep talking,'' she said, licking her fingers as she held eye-contact with Andy.

Andy's mind was foggy and after spending the whole weekend on edge because the memory kept replaying in her head, she finally just wanted to have that release, to finally have Lu's permission to come. No matter how much it had turned her on on Saturday she now just wanted it to be over, she was tired after a long day's work and didn't have the energy for this right now. She sighed, ''You already left me hanging once, can't you just let me-'' she shut up as Lu stood up, surprised by how intimidating Lu could be as Andy looked down at her.

''Do you really think I would let you off the hook just like that?'' Lu asked, surprised by how whiny Andy had sounded. She pushed Andy's hair back behind her shoulders before taking her shirt off, ''I asked you to tell me the whole fantasy, I'm not going to rush things now...'' she looked at the clock, ''I've got all the time in the world. If you don't want to, you can leave right now but I'm not going to make you come.''

Andy thought about this for a second, ''Fine,'' she said, giving attitude. She grabbed her shirt from Lu's hands and attempted to put it on before Lu stopped her, ''I'll just ask Milo-''

''No,'' Lu interrupted her quickly. Andy raised her eyebrows at her and it pissed Lu off just a little bit. ''First of all, I will just call Milo and tell him you're being a brat and to-''

''I'm not being a brat,'' Andy butted in, seemingly offended by it.

''You are being a brat,'' Lu said, pushing Andy back against the desk so she was sitting on the edge of it. ''I'm sure that Milo won't give in to you if I tell him what happened between us,'' she could see Andy was starting to talk back and was quick to stop her, ''Let me finish.'' She hid her surprise when this actually seemed to work and crossed her arms in front of her chest, trying to be a bit more serious, ''Second of all, you agreed to keep the relationships separate, you can't just go to the other person when one of us doesn't give you what you want.''

Andy would be lying if she said that Lu taking charge like this didn't turn her on, but she was still somewhat offended from being called a brat. For a split second she thought about firing back by telling Lu that the main reason she had gone over to her apartment on Saturday was just because of that: because Milo hadn't given her what she wanted, but that didn't seem like the smartest thing to do right now.

Lu was pleased that Andy didn't talk back anymore, ''So why are you being such a brat?'' She ignored Andy's reaction to that word, glad that it was somewhat getting a rise out of her, she was sure that all Andy could think about was how she would use that word to describe Jesse before she would ever use it to describe herself. ''Do you want me to slap you in the face like in your fantasy?'' She was still pretty shocked from that part of the story. She could see how uncomfortable Andy was and softened her demeanor a bit, ''What's going on there Andy?''

Andy sighed, ''I don't know,'' she said, refusing to look at Lu.

''You know that I would never hurt you,'' Lu said, quickly adding, ''Not in any way that you don't want to be hurt.'' When she didn't get a response from Andy she gently grabbed her by the chin—which had also been a part of her fantasy so it seemed fitting—''You do know that, don't you?'' She asked, needing verbal confirmation. She ran one of her hands through Andy's hair, cupping her cheek.

''Yeah, I know,'' Andy said, ''And I know Milo would never either,'' knowing that would be the next part of what Lu was going to say, ''I don't know how that snuck it's way in there, and I don't care, not all fantasies have to come true.''

''Would've been fun though,'' Lu said, backing away from Andy the slightest bit and looking her up and down; trying to decide if she wanted to finish what she had started. Andy's skirt had moved somewhat downward but not entirely, and she had never bothered to put her shirt back on. She took the shirt out of Andy's hands, tossing it to the side. ''Now, I may not hit you but I can still think of other ways to punish you if you're going to be difficult.''

It almost made it tempting to be difficult, and Andy had enjoyed Lu taking charge, ''You were the one being difficult,'' Andy said quietly, just loud enough for Lu to hear it.

''I just wanted you to hold up your end of the deal,'' Lu said, ignoring Andy's talking back, ''You tell me the whole story and then maybe I'll let you come.'' She played with Andy's hair for a second, ''But if you won't comply I could always ask Nick to join us, make his fantasy come true.'' She had long ago learned that spanking wasn't much of a punishment for Andy—and that was more Milo's thing anyway—but that didn't mean she couldn't punish her. Given what Andy had told her earlier this seemed like the best way to get her to listen.

Andy looked at Lu intensely, wondering if she would actually go through with that. They both knew that nothing would happen unless they were both okay with it, and that if Andy really didn't want it then Lu wouldn't punish her that way, but she was just comfortable enough with Nick and uncomfortable enough with the idea that it could work.

Lu could see the wheels spinning in Andy's head, ''Or I could just not let you come,'' Lu said, getting back down on her knees in front of Andy. She could hear a groan coming from Andy and grinned. ''I could force you to come so many times it hurts,'' she said, pinching Andy's clit between her fingers, a hiss from Andy was the only response she got. ''I could…'' her mind was racing, trying to come up with more ideas, ''I could make you wear vibrating panties and take you out to dinner.''

''Lu…'' Andy leaned back on her elbows. Imagining all these punishments just made her more hot and bothered. Her leg was shaking and Andy was pretty sure that if Lu kept talking she could talk her into an orgasm, that's how close she was.

''I could force you not to wear any underwear at all,'' Lu suggested, her lips sucking on Andy's lower lips. She sucked on Andy's clit, ''I could put a clothespin right here,'' she said, booping it with her tongue, pushing Andy's leg away when it twitched. ''Or… you could just tell me the whole story…''


	30. The Visitor

**—The Visitor—**

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Andy was awoken by Milo. Still drowsy she rolled herself over to watch him as he undressed and got into bed next to her. ''You're home late,'' she said, putting her arms around him and holding him close. She felt like she hadn't seen him in way too long, too long since she had had him this close—they had seen each other a few evenings prior at his parents' house but they hadn't been able to be this close—it made her all the more glad that she had given him a key to her house so that he could surprise her like this.

''Surgery ran long, complications,'' was his short answer. He kissed her before burying his face in her hair as he tried to get comfortable, he was on his stomach, half on top of her. ''I've missed you,'' he said, squeezing her tight for a second.

Andy pulled away from him to turn on the light on the bedside table. ''Still apartment hunting?'' She asked. It was becoming increasingly more common for him to spend the night at her house, but he was still living in the hotel he'd been staying at for months now. She could feel him nod against her shoulder and made a snap decision, ''Why don't you move in here?''

He sat up a bit so he could look her in the eye, ''I thought you wanted to wait until after we get married?'' He asked, wondering what had made her change her mind.

Andy shrugged, ''That won't be for a couple of months. Seems a bit pointless to move into one place and then move after a few months, we're going to move in together anyway, why wait?'' She could see him hesitate, not something she had expected, ''Is something wrong?''

''Does this have something to do with our talk about Lu moving in?'' He asked, pulling away from her even further. The last thing he had expected when he had showed up at her house at nearly two in the morning was a conversation like this. Despite her relationship with Lu, Andy was still quite traditional when it came to a lot of things and he hadn't expected this.

There was a frown on her face, ''It doesn't,'' she said. She and Lu had been spending a lot of time together, more even than her and Milo, but she still wasn't ready to live with her. With Milo on the other hand, it felt like a long time coming. ''We're both very busy and I think that if we live together we can at least see each other sometimes,'' she said, ''It would just be less of a hassle.'' She saw him look away and suddenly felt like this might've been a mistake, she had been pretty sure that he would agree but now wasn't so sure. ''What do you think?''

''I'm thinking of where I'm going to put my piano,'' he said before smiling at her, pretending to look around the bedroom for a place to put it before turning back to her when she laughed at him. He got pushed onto his back by Andy and felt her move on top of him. He couldn't pretend he wasn't curious though, ''Did you and Lu make up?'' He asked.

There was a blush on Andy's face which even in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand was very clear. She could see him cock his head, silently asking her what was going on. ''I ehh- I found a way to make it up to her,'' she said, trying to keep it vague enough. It had been a great night and it had been a long time since she had been that turned on, but she preferred not to get specific with Milo. She held his face in her hands as she kissed him, shutting him up before any words had left his mouth. When she pulled away she saw that he was going to ask her about it and decided to change the subject before he could, ''So why did you... punish me, last Saturday?''

''I figured it might be a good way to get you to make up with Lu,'' he said. The confusion in her eyes was evident, ''I figured if I left you wanting more you'd probably go to her, your horniness is the one thing I can always count on,'' he joked. It wasn't entirely untrue, just slightly exaggerated.

She chuckled, ''I think you're overestimating your abilities.''

''Am I though?'' He asked, pulling her face close to his own and kissing her. His hands ran down her back before cupping her ass, pulling her even closer to himself. He could feel her grind against him and groaned, suddenly forgetting what he had been wanting to say.

She kissed him deeply, feeling his tongue brushing against her own, her hand on his cheek, her thumb softly stroking the stubble. ''Yes, you are,'' she said, pulling away from him and moving back over to her side of the bed. It was just to make a point, she was already regretting letting it get this far. Every kiss from him made it more difficult to say no and she would be lying if she said she wasn't already wet for him.

He could see on her face that she was joking and laughed only to get shushed by Andy—who was ignoring the fact that she herself was laughing harder—because Lizzy was asleep in the next room. ''Oh come here woman,'' he said, grabbing her hip to pull her beneath him. Crashing their lips together he could feel her push down his boxer shorts. The smile on Andy's face faded and after a second so did his own.

Andy stared into his eyes before kissing him softly. Over time their lovemaking had increasingly started to look less and less like just that: lovemaking. Despite getting plenty from Milo and Lu it still sometimes felt like her needs were being fulfilled. The sex was passionate, soft, hard, fast, rarely slow, frenzied quite often; no matter how much love she felt for both of them it hardly ever felt like that was being reflected between the sheets. It was something that she missed from how it had been with Milo a few years ago.

She pulled on the hem of the nightgown. It was rather inconvenient considering how cold the Philadelphia winters could get, but for moments like these it was perfect that it was this short. Moving it up over her hip she could feel Milo grab her hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing it. She knew that she didn't have to say anything for him to get the message. His hands moved beneath her nightgown up to her waist, leaving goose bumps where his hands had been.

His slightly open mouth was the kind of invitation she needed to kiss him, her hands ran over his head—feeling his only millimeters long soft hair against her skin—before moving down his body. He wasn't inside of her but their hips were already rocking against each other and she could feel him grow hard against her thigh. She moved one of her hands between their bodies, stroking him softly before guiding him inside of her.

A soft moan left her lips and she had never been more grateful that there was a walk-in-closet as well as two bathrooms separating her and her daughter's rooms. Just as she had hoped Milo kept the same slow tempo, normally she'd find it torturously slow but right now it was just what she needed. She moved two of her fingers to her clit, rubbing it with the same rhythm as Milo's thrusts, hoping that he wouldn't find some reason to ''punish'' her again.

Milo's lips moved down to her neck and her hands were on his back, scratching softly. Feeling him thrusting into her started a slow burning fire. It wasn't like the usual race to the edge. It started slowly, barely noticeable. It wasn't that she didn't notice it felt good, it's just that she didn't realize how close she was getting. It was like the frog, getting boiled alive so slowly it didn't even notice it. It wasn't until her back was arching up against Milo chest that Andy realized she was breathing faster, that she noticed the sweat droplets that had formed on her chest.

His head was buried in the pillow next to hers and she could hear his fast breathing. His hands moved beneath her ass again, lifting her up a bit and changing the angle. It was slow and soft but steady.

''Oh god,'' she let out a deep breath as he hit her g-spot, having trouble breathing in—or even thinking—as he thrusted slightly harder. ''Milo…'' her nails had been softly scratching his back but were now leaving marks for sure. She could feel him pull away a bit to look at her and he opened his mouth to say something, but she shushed him before he could, ''Keep going.''

His tongue darted out, licking her lips and seeking entrance. She rocked against him, where he usually held her in place he now let her do whatever she wanted. Though she loved it when he took control this was a nice change of pace.

Her toes were curled up, a few moments where every single muscle in her body seemed to tighten, before everything releasing. It wasn't as explosive as it sometimes was—nor had she expected it to be after what had happened with Lu earlier that day—but it was just what she needed. He came seconds after she did, spilling his seed inside her.

Andy could feel Milo starting to pull away but tightened her arms around him, holding him close. After a second he gave in, melting into her body. She didn't want to let him go just yet, needing his skin against her own, breathe in his scent… She just needed him close for a minute.

* * *

''You're up early,'' Andy commented when Milo walked into the kitchen the following morning. She had figured he would sleep in somewhat considering they had only gone to sleep at three—it was only her six a.m. wake-up being ingrained in her that she was up already.

''Couldn't sleep anymore,'' Milo said as he grabbed a mug and poured himself some coffee. ''Plus, I wanted to talk to you about something,'' he said, getting distracted before he could continue, ''Apartment ads?'' He asked, holding up the paper which had been left on the counter.

''It's Kayla's,'' Andy said, ''She's been thinking about moving out.'' Despite Kayla rarely being home Andy would miss her, it had been a long time coming but Kayla had lived with them for so long now that it was difficult to imagine her not being there. She'd rather not think about it until she had to, ''What did you want to talk to me about?''

Milo pulled up a chair across from Andy, sitting down at the kitchen table to enjoy his coffee. ''I went to go see a fertility specialist last week,'' he said, deciding to wait for her reaction before saying anything else. He had mentioned them having kids together before but they had never made any concrete plans for when to have a baby or if they were even going to have a baby at all, with their marriage less than half a year away it seemed like a good moment to bring it up again.

''I'm a fertility specialist,'' Andy reminded him, wondering why he hadn't just come to her.

''I know,'' Milo said, ''But I'm marrying you, I don't want you to be my doctor.'' He grabbed her hand, ''Plus, I figured it might be a good idea to figure out what the deal is before bringing it up again, so that I could give you the full picture if or when we make up our mind on what we're going to do.''

''You mean if we are going to have kids or not?'' Andy asked, getting up to pour herself another cup. ''We've talked about this, I'm not sure yet and I don't want to commit to having a baby unless I'm one-hundred percent sure.'' She leaned against the counter, watching Milo who was remaining quiet, ''Wait, if you weren't going to bring this up until we made up our minds then why are you mentioning it now?''

Wanting to ease Andy's concerns as quickly as possible Milo stood up and walked over to her, ''Just for complete transparency, there's nothing to worry about.'' He said and could hear Andy sigh in relief.

''Okay,'' Andy took a moment to gather her thoughts and calm down, ''What did they say?''

''She did some tests and for the most part everything seems fine,'' Milo said, ''Apparently my sperm count is a little low but nothing abnormal, although she did give me a prescription for Letrozole, but other than that she said that if we were to pay attention to when you ovulate then everything should be fine and we should have no trouble conceiving.''

''Okay,'' Andy said again, starting to pace around a bit, ''So if we want to then at least we have the option,'' she came to a halt in front of Milo. ''I know that time isn't exactly on our time but I need more time to think about this,'' she said, ''Can you just give me a few months?''

Milo took her hands into his own, ''Take as much time as you need.''

Andy swallowed hard, ''What if I decide that I don't want to have any more kids?'' She asked. She had asked him that before and he had seemed to be okay with that at the time, but given the fact that he had had testing done now certainly seemed to point to him wanting to have kids at one point or another.

Milo took a deep breath, ''Then we won't have any kids.'' He said, hoping that that wouldn't be the case. He had never cared for children all that much except for when they were his patients, but after spending a lot of time with Jesse and Lizzy and having had the opportunity to teach them a lot of things, it sparked something inside of him. That had only been made stronger when he then hadn't seen them for months due to him and Andy being broken up. Now though? The more he thought about it the more he longed for them to have a baby.

''You would be okay with that?'' Andy asked. She heard what he was saying, but the look in his eyes was telling a different story; she wasn't even sure if he was aware of the conflicting feelings he seemed to be having. When he didn't answer right away she sighed, ''I just need to know that you're not going to leave me if I don't want to have a baby with you,'' she admitted. She wanted to make a decision based on what she wanted for the future, not based on any fears she had.

Milo looked surprised at her words. ''I left Sandra for you, I'm not going to leave you over this,'' he said, ''I love you and I'm never going to leave you,'' he reiterated, ''I just want you to think about it.''

* * *

Andy hurried her way down the stairs, wondering who could possibly have the nerve to incessantly keep ringing the doorbell this early in the morning. She and Lu had only just woken up, Andy had only just broken the news that Milo would be coming over for dinner that evening… there was so much more she wanted to discuss before getting interrupted.

Holding her bathrobe tightly closed with one hand she opened the front door, hoping it would just take a few seconds to blow off whoever was on the other side. She did not at all expect to see Liz March when she opened the door. ''Mom?!'' She took a deep breath, her mind racing, she knew her parents had no inkling that she and Lu had been together.

''Hi sweetheart,'' Liz said, making her way past her daughter into the house, dragging her heavy suitcase behind her. She parked the suitcase next to the stairs before turning back to her daughter—met with a look that she knew Andy had gotten from her father—and opened her arms for a hug.

''What are you doing here?'' Andy asked, closing the black front door slightly harder than she had too, hoping Lu would somehow gather from that that it was best to stay upstairs. She gave her mom a short hug before crossing her arms in front of her chest. It wasn't that she didn't like her mother, they spoke on the phone all the time, but to have her here in Philly was an entirely different story. Over the phone it was so easy to hide all the things she didn't want her parents to know, and if anything came up one way or another she could change the subject. Her mother wasn't as likely to let her do that in person.

''I wanted to see you,'' Liz said, pinching her daughter's cheek softly before turning around and making her way into the kitchen, making herself right at home. When her eyes met Andy's again she knew her daughter needed more than that. ''I missed my granddaughters,'' she added after a second, ''I thought the four us could go wedding dress shopping for you.''

Andy closed her eyes for a second before throwing a glance at the clock; it was only just barely after nine in the morning. ''You left at six in the morning, drove all that way, just to come dress shopping?'' She asked. It had been years since her parents had last made the trip up to Philadelphia, back when she was still married to Les and it had only been a few months since they had moved into the house.

''Well, your only daughter only gets married for the second time once,'' Liz said with a smile. ''Now where are my beautiful grandbabies?''

''Jesse is away at college,'' Andy reminded her, surprised that her mother hadn't remembered no matter how many times Andy had lamented over the phone about how much she missed her eldest daughter, ''and Lizzy is staying at a friend's house.'' She could hear some faint footsteps coming down the stairs, and thanked god that Lu was light on her feet and her mother was just the slightest bit deaf.

''Oh,'' Liz seemed disappointed; she walked over to the coffee maker and started a pot, ignoring the fact that this wasn't her house. ''Well, you and I can still go, right? And maybe Lizzy can join us later?''

Andy was slowly backing out of the kitchen, wanting to send Lu back upstairs before her mother saw anything. It was only when she heard the footsteps getting fainter that she realized Lu was going into the kitchen through the laundry room, she internally cursed the fact that her mother had a soft enough voice—which had been great when she was a kid, she could listen to her mother tell stories for hours—but it probably wouldn't be audible for Lu.

Lu had just finished buttoning up her pajama top when she walked into the laundry room, stopping dead in her tracks when her eyes landed on Andy's mom; who seemed to notice Lu at the exact same time. They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Lu took a step forward; hoping that it wouldn't be awkward if she pretended everything was perfectly normal. ''Mrs. March,'' she put out her hand.

Liz took a second longer. She finally put her hand in Lu's hand but couldn't remember to introduce herself. With a dropped jaw she looked over at Andy, who was by now standing in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, ''Andy?''


	31. The Dress

Thank you for the kind words!

* * *

 **—The Dress—**

* * *

''Andy?'' Liz asked again as she turned to her daughter. Lu was still standing next to her, holding her hand out.

''You remember Dr. Delgado,'' Andy said as she walked over to Lu. They had met for a brief moment when Andy's parents had showed up a few years earlier. She put her hand on the small of Lu's back, ''We had drinks last night and she decided to sleep over,'' she added, trying to keep it as vague as possible. She was well aware that adding too many details only made her mother more suspicious.

Liz didn't quite seem to believe Andy but accepted it nonetheless. She shook Lu's hand with a feigned smile which quickly faded. ''Dr. Delgado,'' she acknowledged. She watched Andy suspiciously, well aware that her daughter liked her privacy even though that didn't keep her from wanting to pry.

''Lu, call me Lu,'' Lu corrected as she always did. She tried to ignore the tension in the room but it was getting harder with every passing second. Liz' hand was cold in her own and after pulling away she instinctually took a step closer to Andy before stepping away. ''What brings you to Philly?'' She asked, trying to make small talk about anything—anything—other than what she was doing at Andy's house.

Andy quickly and somewhat under her breath recounted her conversation with Liz for Lu. ''How about we go get ready and then we can go?'' Andy suggested as she was already backing away. She was just looking for any way to get Lu and herself alone together. She could see her mother nod and tugged on Lu's pajama sleeve to drag her up the stairs behind her. The confused look on Liz' face made her stop dead in her tracks, ''We both need to get ready.''

Liz frowned, ''Are you coming with us?'' She asked. She could see that Andy was anxious to scurry on out of the kitchen and away from her mother and it made Liz wonder why.

Andy shook her head at her mother before quickly looking at Lu, ''No… she just needs to get ready to go back to her own place. Can't very well expect her to go home in her pajamas now can we?'' She asked with a laugh, feigning being comfortable. She felt inclined to just put her arm around Lu's shoulders and guide her out of the kitchen as quickly as possible, but Liz' presence made her want to keep her distance. ''We're going to go get ready,'' she informed her mother, pushing Lu back into the hallway towards the stairs.

''Let's hope you have better luck this time,'' Lu said about the dress shopping as they walked down the hallway. ''With your mother around you don't have the same back up option as you did last week,'' she said quietly, reminding Andy of how well that Saturday had panned out. No, they hadn't found a dress but it had still turned out rather amazing.

''You already went looking for one?'' Liz asked disappointedly as she followed the pair into the hallway without their knowledge. She had only caught the first part of what Lu had said though. It wasn't exactly rare for her to forget some of the things Andy told her but she was sure she would've remembered something like this. It seemed like too much of a mother-daughter thing to do, she didn't expect Andy to have already gone looking without her.

''Yeah,'' Andy said with hesitation as she turned around to look at Liz, ''Last weekend we decided to take a quick look to see if we could find something…'' She hadn't even thought about how her mother would feel about it, she didn't think that much about her parents at all to be honest. When she, Les, and the girls still lived in DC they saw each other almost weekly but their lives were becoming increasingly separated; Andy hadn't even thought about inviting her mother out for this.

Liz watched the two women slowly making their way to the stairs and she eyed the suspiciously. ''Would you like to come with us?'' She asked Lu. It was a snap-decision. A feeling in her gut told her that she should look a bit closer at what was going on whilst also feeling that perhaps she didn't want to know.

Andy turned to Lu wanting to tell her no. It felt a bit too much like a trap. She knew her mother too well to trust that she had completely innocent motives, Liz' suspicious nature had gotten her very far but Andy couldn't say she was a particularly big fan of that trait of her mother's. She couldn't say anything. Not without tipping her mother off at least. All she could do was watch as Lu nodded.

* * *

Most of the morning had been a blur for Andy. She knew that her mother knew her way too well and had expected Liz to try to get alone with Andy so she could grill her on what was going on, not expecting Liz to ask Lu to come dress shopping with them. She had seen her mother watch them with narrowed eyes, clearly not believing the lie—that Lu had merely stayed over—they had fed her. The disappointment on her mother's face when Lu let it slip that they had already gone looking for dresses… it caused Andy to let her guard down just the slightest bit. It wasn't that she wanted to be secretive towards her mother though, it was more the fact that she knew her mother wouldn't accept her relationship with Lu.

She looked into the mirror in front of her, watching the bridal consultant close the back of the dress. They had already gone to several different boutiques over the course of the morning but they seemed to have finally found one which had some decent options. This particular dress had been one of her mother's choices; the other two had already flopped. Despite how much Liz loved her daughter she was still quite critical and Andy could only imagine what she would say about this one.

Andy admired the dress in the mirror before exiting the changing room, showing it to her mother and Lu. She ran her hands down the sides of it. The dress was slightly tighter than she had wanted and she tried not to be too self-conscious about it. ''Okay, what do you think?'' She asked, barely having enough time to get it out before her mother made her way over to her, wanting to take a closer look at it.

Andy could hear her mother picking the dress apart, both mentioning that it wasn't the dress as well as detailing every single detail that would have to be adjusted. Liz was more so talking to the sales girl than Andy herself, clearly with a clear idea in her head of what kind of dress Andy should wear. The nitpicking wasn't something Andy particularly cared for and she quickly turned her attention to Lu, caring much more about her opinion than her mother's.

To Lu neither Liz nor the salesgirl existed anymore, it was just her and Andy in the shop. She had her hands over her mouth, tears in her eyes. A quiet voice in the back of her head was reminding her of Andy talking about the two of them getting married one day, and this was the dress she had envisioned back then. She slowly nodded to Andy.

Liz' critiques were drowned out by Lu's face, and Andy smiled at her. Since the proposal Andy had been wondering about what kind of dress to wear—it was part of what had made it so difficult to go looking for one, just aimlessly looking until something felt right. Until just a few seconds ago she hadn't even been sure about this dress, but Lu had—without a word—told her everything she needed to know.

Andy and Lu stared at each other for a few more minutes before she turned to her mother, ''This is the one.'' She caught her reflection in the mirror hanging behind Liz and it just reaffirmed her feelings. It drowned out her mother's ramblings as her eyes met Lu's eyes in the mirror.

''Oh honey, you don't have to settle,'' Liz reminded Andy, ''There are plenty more places we can go look for one, and I can come back any time to help you out.'' She put her hand on Andy's shoulder, aware that her daughter wasn't really listening to her anymore. Andy had barely had a rebellious phase as a teenager and Liz wasn't used to this kind of treatment from her daughter. ''Are you okay?''

Her mother's voice snapped Andy out her thoughts, ''I'm not settling. This is the dress.''

Liz knew her daughter well enough to know that once Andy made up her mind there was no changing it. ''Are you sure?'' She asked, looking Andy deep in the eyes. When Andy again affirmed her choice, Liz nodded. ''Okay,'' she walked over the couch she had been sat on to wait when Andy was putting the dress on and she picked up her purse, ''I'll go pay.''

''Mom, you don't have to…'' Andy was stopped by Liz with a single hand gesture that just said 'let me do this for you'; Andy being hard to argue with once she made up her mind was a trait she had gotten from both her parents. She watched Liz narrow her eyes at Lu—who was not paying attention to the older woman at all—and for a second Andy worried that Lu's reaction had been too much, that they had been found out. However, Liz followed the consultant to the front room without a word, leaving Andy and Lu alone.

Lu took a few steps closer to Andy, taking one of her hands into her own as she kept her eyes on the French doors through which Liz had just disappeared, the sound of the footsteps getting fainter and fainter. They were out of sight. ''You sure about this?'' She asked softly, wanting Andy to make the decision for herself, not just pick the dress Lu liked.

Andy turned back to the mirror, taking a second to take her eyes of Lu and back on the dress. She nodded, ''This is the one.'' She had barely heard any of her mother's criticism anyway and now she couldn't imagine what she could've possibly said. It was perfect.

One of Lu's hands brushed Andy's hair to the side before resting her head on Andy's shoulder, her arms around Andy's waist. She closed her eyes for a second in an attempt to forget that Liz could be back any second; when she opened her eyes again she took the sight in the mirror in. ''You look beautiful.''

* * *

''So what's going on between you and that woman?'' Liz asked as she put her hands around the steaming cup of coffee in front of her, trying to warm herself up somewhat. It was Sunday. The previous day had been rather uneventful after leaving the boutique: Lu had gone home and Andy and Liz had had a quiet evening with Lizzy. It had been Andy's idea for the two of them to get out of the house for a bit and get lunch together downtown before Liz had to go back to D.C. Dying for some alone time with her daughter Liz had accepted right away.

''That woman?'' Andy asked with a frown, ''Do you mean Lu?'' It had taken a second to sink in what her mother had meant. After spending most of Saturday together she would've thought her mother would at least refer to Lu by name, apparently not. She shrugged, ''We've gotten a lot closer over the years,'' she said, ''She's a good friend.'' She looked down at her own cup of coffee, wanting to change the conversation to any other topic but failing to come up with anything.

''A lot closer,'' Liz repeated her daughter, ''Don't you think maybe a bit too close?'' She asked, immediately being able to tell from her daughter's face that she disagreed, ''She's very affectionate,'' She argued and Andy agreed with a slight nod, ''Not to mention she went with us to go look at dresses. I thought that was something for a mother and daughter to do.''

''You invited her,'' Andy reminded her, wondering why her mother was being so strange about the whole situation all of a sudden.

''Common courtesy,'' Liz argued, ''Just because I was being polite doesn't mean she had to take me up on it.'' She had hoped to spend some time with her daughter and granddaughters, never had her plans consisted of swapping out her granddaughter for some random colleague of her daughter's and she had expected Lu to be able to tell that.

Andy sat back in her chair, looking at her mother who didn't look back at her. ''What is this about? Is it that weird that I could become friends with someone I work with?'' Close friendships in the military weren't quite the same as the ones made in civilian life, she knew that. She immediately regretted asking the questions, pushing her mother to look deeper at the events of the weekend in an effort to explain herself.

''I'm just saying that it looks like… she has feelings for you,'' Liz said, expecting Andy to get defensive but surprised by the lack of reaction coming from Andy, ''The amount of affection…'' She could see the look of disbelief on her daughter's face, ''I just think that maybe you should keep your distance, not give her any false hope.''

Andy was flabbergasted for a moment. She knew that it was difficult for herself to keep secrets from Liz and so she had expected her mother to guess that she had feelings for Lu, not the other way around. She stumbled for a second, trying to find a way to rebuke her mother's arguments and steer the conversation back into a more comfortable direction, ''She knows I'm marrying Milo,'' Andy said. It was the excuse she had prepared in case anyone asked about her and Lu's relationship. It didn't explicitly deny that there was anything between them but most people didn't seem to notice that.

''That doesn't change anything, honey,'' Liz said, surprised that her daughter was this naïve. ''You can marry Milo and she could still have feelings for you. Who knows… maybe she had feelings for you when you were still with Leslie and you two were married for 20 years…''

''She didn't,'' Andy countered, trying to build an argument in her head and not immediately realizing her mistake. She could see the confusion on her mother's face and after a second of replaying their conversation in her mind her error registered. She opened her mouth, ready to back-pedal but already getting interrupted by her mother.

''What makes you say that?'' Liz asked before taking a sip from her coffee, leaning forward in her chair and watching Andy expectedly. It made her think that perhaps what she had been sensing all weekend really was true. When Andy didn't respond she decided to ignore Andy's words in favor of getting her own point across, ''I just think that it's best to stay away from… those kinds of people,'' she said after hesitating on how to phrase it.

''''Those kinds of people''?'' Andy repeated, the disbelief evident in her voice. She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm. She knew that her mother wouldn't be okay with Andy herself being gay but she hadn't expected her to be this anti-gay. It reminded her a bit too much about how her parents had black friends but weren't exactly okay with her being with Milo at the beginning of their relationship.

''Not that there's anything wrong with it. People can decide for themselves what kind of lifestyle they want to live, it's not my place to judge them for that.'' Liz said before circling back to the observations she had made, ''I just think that Dr. Delgado likes to be close to you, likes to be affectionate, and you don't need that in your life.''

Andy looked away, making a split decision that she knew she would come to regret soon enough. ''Mom, I'm one of 'those kinds of people','' she said softly, holding her breath without realizing it, far too nervous for her mother's reaction to even make a sound or move. She had swore to herself that she would never let her parents find out about this since the moment she had asked Lu out on a date and had even thought about asking her daughters to not tell them. Looks like that wasn't necessary anymore.

Liz cocked her head, ''no honey, you're not,'' she dismissed Andy's words without a second thought, putting her hand on Andy's, ''You're marrying Milo,'' she reminded her.

''And just like how that probably won't change Lu's feelings for me, it probably won't change my feelings either,'' Andy said, being careful not to mention her own feelings for Lu. It was one thing to come out the closet about her attraction to women—or actually just one single woman—but she wasn't ready to tell her mother about her relationship with Lu. Besides, she was sure her mother had already drawn that conclusion for herself and didn't need any confirmation.

''But you're marrying Milo,'' Liz iterated. They sat in silence for a few moments before Liz' curiosity and confusion got the better of her. ''Andy, honey, what are you saying? You're not… a lesbian,'' she had to force the words out of her mouth, ''You've only ever been with men, not women. Now I don't know what Lu has tried to convince you of, what ideas she has planted in your brain, but-''

''Mom,'' it sounded almost like she pleading her mother to stop talking, ''Yes, I'm marrying Milo, but I do also have feelings for Lu…'' She took a deep breath, ''We've been seeing each other.''

''And Milo…?''

''He knows about it,'' Andy said, ''He's okay with it,'' he still seemed to have his moments of doubt but overall he seemed like he had accepted it. She watched her mother take all this new information in and wished that her mother had just not shown up at all that weekend. It didn't feel like a relief to have her mother know about it like she had thought it might be.

Liz bit her lip, wondering if she should ask what she wanted to ask. ''Is this some kind of phase?'' She asked, hoping that it didn't sound too belittling, hoping that it didn't sound too much like she was treating Andy as a teenager. ''Maybe you could grow out of it if you give it some time, if you don't spend as much time with Lu maybe?''

''It's not a phase,'' Andy said. The words, the tone of voice, the rhythm of the words… it was like Jesse was speaking through Andy's mouth and in that moment Andy regretted every time she had asked Jesse if something she was into was just a phase. ''I'm not going to grow out of this, and even if I could I wouldn't want to.'' She could see that her mother didn't get it. ''Would you grow out of your feelings for daddy if you didn't spend time with him?''

''I've spent lots of time without him,'' Liz said, remembering all the times he had been away to fight in wars while she was left at home taking care of the household. Andy's point seemed to somewhat sink in but she didn't look entirely convinced. ''I just think that your feelings are different.''

''Feelings are feelings,'' Andy said. ''You don't have to accept it,'' she said, knowing her mother probably wouldn't anyway, ''But this is who I am. You don't have to like it, you don't have to recognize that these feelings exist,'' she could feel a lump in her throat, she knew her mother wouldn't accept this side of her but to have to actually go through this now… Even though Liz' words hadn't been aimed at Andy specifically they still hurt.

Liz seemed uncomfortable. She could see how heartbroken Andy was and wished she could do something about it. She would do anything but she couldn't pretend she condoned her daughter's choices, ''Just…'' she patted Andy's hands, trying to find the right words, ''Just don't let your father find out.''


	32. The Son

Sorry this took a little while. And don't worry, I've got some more exciting chapters coming up :P

* * *

 **The Son**

* * *

Andy was walking down one of the many long hallways in the hospital, replaying the conversation she had had with her mother the previous day. She couldn't blame her mother for what she had said, in all honesty Liz had reacted much better than Andy could have ever expected. Still, she didn't want to talk about it.

Dinner with Milo, Lu, and Lizzy the previous evening had been tense. All three of them knew that Andy's mother had been in town and all three could sense that it hadn't ended all that well. After dinner Milo had gone back to his hotel—they hadn't yet gotten him moved in—Lu had gone back to her own apartment, Lizzy busied herself with homework until Andy tucked her in for bed, and Andy had spent the entire evening trying to distract herself with patient files that needed updating.

With how deep she was in thought life seemed to somewhat move on auto-pilot. Seeing Dr. Bob Jackson—chief of staff—walk down the hallway in the opposing direction all she gave was a nod and a, ''Doctor,'' acknowledgement, not slowing her stride for a single second. It was only after a few feet that she had recognized the tone in his voice as he acknowledged her in much the same way and turned back to him, watched him take his glasses off and pocket them as she waited patiently for whatever he wanted to bring up.

She had always considered the two of them friends since he had ''wined and dined her''—as he had described it to Lu—and had offered her the job as Lu's partner. They had always had friendly conversations, had lunch together from time to time if their schedules lined up, and had spent Christmas together a few years prior. Still, nothing ever got overly personal. He had been the first one she told about her and Les separating but he didn't know the specifics of why, he had been one of the first people to notice the attraction between her and Milo but hadn't been clued in on everything that had gone down over the years.

''Doctor,'' Bob repeated again. His hands were in his pocket and he was watching other staff stroll by whilst Andy was patiently waiting for him to get to his point—which he didn't know how to bring up. ''How have you been?'' He asked, trying a casual approach.

''Fine,'' Andy responded. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him; it was more that it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to know the specifics of her life. ''You?'' She knew that his life had been somewhat rocky lately. Years ago he had split up from his wife after her MS had progressed to a point where he felt he couldn't live with it anymore, but they had reconciled a few months later. Andy knew that with Susan's most recent setback he probably had issues dealing with that again.

She wasn't particularly interested but even though she didn't want to get too personal she still wanted to maintain the civil relationship they had established.

He didn't bother to answer her question. ''Do we need to talk about what's going on between you and Dr. Delgado? '' He asked. He could see that Andy hesitated before feigning confusion and he decided to butt in to clear up any confusion. ''Susan and I saw you two at Callowhill's café, you seemed… awfully cozy, around each other.''

Andy straightened her back, she was thinking back to the brunch Lu and she had had there not even a week and a half ago, how she had felt so paranoid about someone seeing them… She didn't remember Bob nor Susan being there though. She crossed her arms and looked at the ground for a second, needing to figure out if she was going to be honest or—

''I am just asking you as a friend,'' Bob said, putting his hand on her arm, ''Professionally I have no say in who you can and cannot see considering she isn't your subordinate.'' When she looked back up he immediately realized that he had thought them to be a lot closer than she did.

Andy had long made up her mind that even though she wouldn't shout it from the rooftops, it would be okay for her and Lu's work friends to know about their relationship, and no matter how many falling outs Bob and Lu had had, he was still a part of that group. And he was the only one who didn't know. With a nod she confirmed his suspicions and even though she wasn't sure why he didn't immediately question her relationship status in regards to Milo, she was glad that he didn't. Bob seemed to be the one who got it the quickest despite her prediction of him being the least understanding.

The single nod seemed to be all he needed, and with just another nod to each other they both went on their way.

* * *

''We should do this more often,'' Lu said as she pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet underneath the sink. She searched around the kitchen for a second, looking for a corkscrew, before pouring them both a glass. They had just gotten back from dinner downtown before they had decided to go back to Lu's apartment and spend the remainder of the evening there.

''Valentine's Day only comes around once a year,'' Andy reminded her as she took the glass from Lu, ''But yes, let's.'' Despite still trying—and failing—to find a balance between the time spend with Lu versus the time spend with Milo; she was always down to spend more time with the former. And even more so with Milo now preparing to move in with her. ''I propose a toast,'' she said, raising her glass, ''Let this be the first of many Valentine's Days spend together.''

Okay, technically it was only February 13th, and she was going to spend the 14th with Milo, but only because it was the first date that they both had enough time to move all his stuff from storage into her house. Lu and she had both decided to ignore that fact and pretend it was Valentine's already.

Lu watched Andy take a sip and put one of her arms around Andy's waist, pulling her down onto the couch next to her, ''So what happened with your mom?'' She asked. It hadn't been difficult to notice that Andy had been avoiding that subject and Lu couldn't help but wonder why, especially since Andy had been somewhat distant since Liz had left.

Andy tried to dismiss the question but knew Lu would insist on an answer, ''I told her about us,'' Andy said, immediately deciding that no matter what she wasn't going to go into detail about everything her mother had said. Liz' comments had hurt her too much; she didn't want Lu to experience that same pain.

Lu sank down a bit. She could only assume it hadn't gone well and she was glad that Andy hadn't completely blown off their relationship after the talk with her mother, but she couldn't imagine Liz' disapproval doing their relationship any good. No matter how much Andy had been keeping her mother at an arm lengths distance, Lu knew that her parents were still very important to Andy. ''What'd she say?'' She asked quietly.

''She doesn't exactly approve,'' Andy said. ''She wants to pretend that I never told her anything, like our whole relationship doesn't exist. The only thing she really seemed to care about is that I make sure my father doesn't find out.'' Her voice was getting thick with emotion and she decided to stop talking before her voice gave her away. She had left out the part where her mother usually called her several times a week, but hadn't reached out a single time in the week and a half since their brunch. It hurt too much to think about and she didn't want to end her first Valentine's Day with Lu upset.

Lu could see how difficult this was for Andy and figured it was best not to press for any more details. She took Andy's face in her hands and kissed her softly, ''For what it's worth, I'm proud of you.'' She got up off the couch to refill their glasses, ''I know it couldn't have been easy to tell her, but I'm glad you did.'' When Andy didn't respond she turned back to her; as she was about to question her silence Andy turned her head just the slightest bit and the tears in her eyes glistened in the faint light. ''Ands…?''

Andy shook her head and took a moment to gather herself before getting up off the couch and walked over to Lu, wiping her tears away. ''It's fine, really.'' She wasn't fond of lying to Lu—or to anyone really—but sometimes it felt like a necessary evil. It would be a shame to have their whole night get ruined just because her mother couldn't be accepting of this.

Lu wrapped her arms around Andy. She could tell Andy didn't want to talk about it anymore and decided it was best to drop it for now. This time when she kissed her she didn't immediately pull away afterwards. She could taste the wine on Andy's lips and it got her more intoxicated than wine ever had. After downing another glass she pulled Andy behind her through the beaded curtain which had taken the place of her bedroom door.

As Lu pushed her down on the bed Andy pushed her mother from her thoughts. She put her arms around Lu's waist, pulling her on top of her on the bed. Their lips crashed together and Andy made quick work of ridding Lu of the remainder of her clothes. She could hear Lu giggle as she kissed her neck and softly tickled her sights, feeling the goose bumps forming under her fingers.

In the distance she could hear church bells ringing and looked over at the alarm clock, it was midnight. She moved back to Lu's face, kissing her softly. ''Happy Valentine's Day,'' she said with a smile, ''I love you,'' she added softly after a second as she looked back and forth between Lu's dark brown eyes, feeling like she could get lost in them forever.

Hearing Lu say it back was the last thing she heard before burying her face in the apex of Lu's thighs.

* * *

Andy yawned and stretched her whole body as she rolled over. She loved sleeping snuggled up to Lu but her weekday habit of getting up at 5 in the morning made it impossible for her to sleep late during the weekend. Lu was still vast asleep next to her and Andy knew it would still be hours before she would wake up, but she also knew that no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to go back to sleep. The events of the previous evening were replaying in her head as she slipped out from underneath the warm covers.

After a quick cold shower and changing into the clothes she had brought along in an overnight bag she pondered what to do next. She and Lu still hadn't entirely gotten into the habit of sleeping over at each other's place and she didn't feel quite at home in the apartment.

Just as she was writing a note that she'd be back later she heard the door unlock and watched up as Marc tried to quietly make his way in. She watched him tiptoe around, seemingly oblivious to her presence. He stopped dead in his tracks when he finally blinked the sleep in his eyes away and saw her standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

Andy threw a quick look at the clock, almost 5:30 now. ''Where have you been all night?'' She asked, trying not to sound too much like she was mothering him. She didn't mind that he'd been out, if he hadn't been then Lu probably wouldn't have let her stay over, but she was still curious about his whereabouts.

Marc sighed. He was well aware that he didn't owe her an explanation, and he still wasn't exactly fond of her, but over the years he had gotten to know her well enough to know that she was not one to let things go. ''I was over at a friend's house,'' he lied, not feeling like opening up about his new girlfriend to his mother's… whatever she was.

Andy narrowed her eyes at him; her daughters had lied to her enough that she could recognize a poker face from a mile away. She nodded at him, knowing that it was useless to inquire any further. ''Feel like getting some breakfast with me?'' She asked, she knew how important it was to Lu that they get along, and this was a good an opportunity as any to try to get to know him better. ''My treat,'' she added, hoping the make the deal a bit more enticing.

He took a deep breath. ''Look, I'm really not interested in getting to know every single person ma decides to sleep with,'' he said. He could see her start to respond but was quicker, ''We both know this ain't gonna last so let's not pretend. You don't have to get to know me, I don't have to get to know you…''

''What makes you say that?'' Andy asked, wondering why he had such little hope for her and Lu's relationship... When he shook his head she gave him a small smile that was not at all genuine, ''Humor me.'' It came out even more dryly than expected.

''You're dating someone else, no?'' He asked as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He continued before she could respond, ''You have two kids who don't like you two being together… Plus, mom is allergic to rich people, so…''

Andy frowned at him, ''She almost married a multi-millionaire.''

''And that didn't last, did it?''

''That had nothing to do with his money,'' Andy said as she grabbed her coat. ''Now, I'm going to get breakfast, you can join me or not, just at least try to let your mother get some sleep.'' She spoke quickly; wanting to get it all out before he could butt in and say that she was the reason Lu and Jonas had broken up.

Marc looked over to his bedroom door, it still had the ''stay out'' sign on it despite his mom having moved house twice since he left for college. Truth was, he wasn't even the least bit sleepy anymore and he could feel his stomach quietly rumbling at the mere mention of breakfast. With a sigh he grabbed his coat and followed Andy out of the apartment. Part of him felt tempted to just wait in the apartment a few minutes so Andy could leave before he snuck out but he couldn't think of anyone else who would want to get breakfast with him at this time of day.

Andy was glad to have him along. The only place she knew to find in this neighborhood was Lu's former and current apartments so it ultimately fell on Marc' shoulders to find them a place to eat that wasn't as rat-infested as the other joints. It wasn't long before they sat down across from each other in a booth that had more stains than she was comfortable with but ultimately turned out to be comfortable nonetheless.

They checked the menu in silence, ordered, and then waited for their orders in silence again.

''Well, this is fun,'' Marc commented under his breath as he fiddled with his napkin. He knew it would be a drag but he had expected Andy to at least try to make conversation.

Andy cleared her throat, ''So, how is college?'' She knew that he was in his senior year but he had been home an awful lot the past couple of months and though she hadn't asked Lu about it she had wondered what was going on with that. Jesse was only in her sophomore year but seemed to never have any time to spend with Andy nor Lizzy.

''Fine,'' Marc responded curtly. ''I have to go back to Arizona in a few weeks, take some finals, hand some papers in… after that I'm done.''

''Do you know what you want to do after?'' Andy asked, happy that he wasn't giving her one word answers like she had somewhat expected him to do. She knew she wasn't his first choice to hang out with but it wasn't going as terribly as expected.

''Move back here, get a job, find an apartment,'' Marc rattled off. It had been plaguing his mind that he should probably figure out what to do with his life as he was so close to entering ''the real world''. The past few months that he had spent back in Philly had been nice, but he knew that he couldn't spend the rest of his life partying, only working part-time making just enough money for the bare essentials. No matter how much he looked up to his mother he more so envied his father who worked regular hours and had a house outside the hood where he lived with his family.

''If I can help with anything let me know,'' she told him as the waitress slipped a plate of pancakes in front of both of them. She was well-connected and desperate to get on his good side, a pretty good combination in this case.

''So what exactly is going on between you and ma?'' He asked as he poured a thick layer of maple syrup on his stack of pancakes. It was starting to slowly sink in that maybe this relationship wasn't just something that would end within a couple of months as he had slowly become accustomed to. Jonas had been the exception but other than that Lu had had quite a few relationships that hadn't lasted. Given the fact that Lu had broken up with Jonas over it had already given him some inkling that maybe their relationship wasn't nothing, but he couldn't see it last.

''We've been going out for about five months,'' Andy said as she started cutting her pancakes. She wasn't sure what to tell him. Despite how much she was trying to be more serious about her relationship with Lu since she had said that she didn't want them to just play it by ear and that she wanted them to be more than just ''something'', Andy hadn't made any concrete plans.

Marc could tell she was struggling. ''But you're with someone else, right?''

Andy nodded, ''Milo and I are getting married in a few months,'' she told him and she could see the surprise on his face. ''Your mom knew about that when we started going out.'' She could imagine he probably wondered about that. When he didn't ask any more questions she sighed, ''I know that our relationship hasn't been easy for you, and I get that,'' she didn't actually know the reason why but figured he wouldn't want to open up to her about it anyway, ''But I want you to know that it never was and never will be my intention to get between you two. Your mother loves you a lot and I know she misses you a great deal,'' she could see this had somewhat grabbed his attention though he tried not to show it, ''Maybe you could try to spend some time with her before you go back to Arizona? And if you need me to stay as far away from both of you for that to happen then that's fine.''

Marc finally looked up, ''I have nothing against you,'' he said. He wasn't exactly fond of her either, the only things he really knew about her seemed to point to her being a major stick-in-the-mud and like the exact opposite of his mom. He could see the wonder in her eyes, ''Jonas is a good guy.''

After a second Andy nodded in agreement, ''He is,'' she concurred. ''Is that the problem? That I'm not Jonas? I mean, sure, I don't have millions for you to inherit but your mother-''

''I don't care about the money,'' he said, pushing his plate away from him. Actually, he cared a little bit, but that wasn't the point. ''He is a good guy. A good guy who loved her and wasn't screwing someone else at the same time. He didn't deserve what you did to him… He didn't deserve to get cheated on.''

She ate the last few pieces of pancake in silence, trying to think of what to say. ''It was never my intention to hurt him,'' she said, ''Or you. I didn't plan to fall in love with your mom but I did. And just because I'm with someone else as well doesn't mean that I love her any less, or that I won't be there for her when she needs me… And even if it did—which it doesn't—it shouldn't keep you from spending time with her.''

She glanced at her watch, it was almost eight now. ''I have to go,'' she said, ''But I'm glad you went with me and that we got to talk.'' He remained silent, ''I hope that we can do this again some time, I really do want to get to know you better.''

She wished she could spend some more time with him now that he wasn't completely pushing her away but she had promised Milo to be at his storage locker bright and early so they could move everything in and then still make something of their Valentine's Day. They made small talk as they made their way over to the counter, ''How about you take some pancakes home to your mom and spend some time with her? I'm sure she'd appreciate that.''

He nodded and hung back waiting for the takeaway order as Andy got ready to leave. He still couldn't imagine their relationship working out but felt a bit better about it now, even just for her trying to get to know him. With a wave he said goodbye, after a second of hesitation adding, ''You're okay, y'know.''


	33. The Commander

Behold! The result of not sleeping for three days and then sleeping for three days straight, followed by a friend suggesting a new kink and you not having the brain power to come up with something else. This chapter is a mess. Did just want to take a moment to thank all my readers, and especially the one who never fails to leave a comment. You have a special place in my heart :* I might not know your name but I've told all my friends about you :)

 ***WARNING*** There is some more BDSM type stuff in this chapter. No part of this story is suitable for under 18 viewers, but I know what horny 13 year olds are like, so... yeah.

* * *

 **The Commander**

* * *

It was surprising how much you can fit inside a single storage box. It was surprising how much stuff some parents let their children store at their house.

Andy had expected them to finish moving all of Milo's stuff into her house before noon at the latest. Most of his stuff Sandra had taken with her to Seattle, so how much could there be left? The only reason she had even gotten a moving truck was because of the piano he had stored at his parents' house, but it had turned out very necessary.

It was almost four by the time they threw in the towel for the day. They had gotten everything inside and some of it unpacked, and that was enough for the time being. Andy still had some stuff she hadn't even unpacked since her and Les' move from Washington five years earlier and she knew that if they didn't get it done now then it would be a long before they would unpack, but every muscle in her body ached and _she was done_.

''That's the last of it,'' she said as she plopped down a surprisingly light box down on the floor in her bedroom. She watched Milo let himself fall face down onto her—no, strike that, _their_ bed and couldn't help but grin. He usually wasn't one to complain all that much and he worked out a fair amount but Andy knew it had taken the life out of him more than it had out of her. She pulled off his shoes one by one and could hear him groan, she knew that his feet probably hurt as bad as hers did.

Milo looked over at the clock on Andy's side of the bed, they still had a good while before their dinner reservations and he was glad for it. He needed some time to recharge. He tried to roll over to look at Andy but she pushed him back onto his stomach, moving up his body and eventually sitting down half on his ass, half on his lower back. ''Are you comfortable?'' He asked with a chuckle as he could feel her shift around.

Her hands snuck under his shirt, pulling it off of him. She could see goose bumps forming and softly stroked up and down his back. ''I'm glad you finally moved in,'' she said as she started to massage his shoulders. The strong muscles in his back moved as he slightly shifted positions and she couldn't help but stare; it certainly didn't hurt her attraction to him.

''I would've moved in months ago if you had let me,'' Milo said as he folded his arms and rested his head on top of them. The bed was very comfortable and just laying down had already relaxed him quite a bit, feeling Andy work out all the knots in his back left him feeling like putty.

''You should've asked,'' Andy said, ''I'm sure I would have agreed.'' She felt his soft skin and hard muscles beneath her hands and leaned forward, softly kissing his neck. Despite her being as tired as he looked she still wanted to take the opportunity to be intimate with him. She felt like she had been spending a lot of time with Lu lately and not so much with him and hoped that their living together would somewhat rectify that situation.

Milo shrugged and yawned. He hesitated to tell her this but decided that she probably already knew, ''You set the pace,'' he told her, ''Both with me and with Lu,'' this is one of the things they had talked about when they had gone out for dinner almost two months ago now. Especially Lu seemed to let Andy take the lead in that regard. Lu was the boss inside the bedroom but outside of that… she was letting Andy decide when they would take the next steps in their relationship—Milo knew that if it were up to Lu they would move a lot quicker but she seemed hesitant, not wanting to scary Andy off.

It was what had made Milo realize that by and large he did the same thing. It was one of the things that had spurred him to finally ask Andy to marry him, and to push a bit more for them having a baby together. He was sure that Andy would eventually want more but he didn't want to wait.

Over and over he in his mind replayed that moment in his head. The moment Sandra had asked him if he was really coming with her to Seattle. When Milo closed his eyes he could still see the look in her eyes, could conjure up the exact feeling he had felt in that moment. It was then that he had realized that he wanted forever with Andy and he didn't want to wait for that for one more second. Didn't want one more morning where he didn't wake up to her face, didn't want one more evening where her face wasn't the last thing he saw before he fell asleep.

That still didn't happen. Not most morning or evenings at least, but he was happy nonetheless. He had the girl. And he was increasingly becoming more comfortably with his girl having _her_ girl.

''What are you talking about?'' Andy asked as she sat back up. She had never expected him to speak on behalf of Lu as well, from what she could tell they didn't talk often enough to really be able to do that, so she hadn't seen this coming.

Milo rolled over beneath her, finally facing her. He could see that she was genuinely confused and wasn't all that surprised by that. ''I never want to push you to do something you aren't comfortable with so you set the pace; you're in charge, always.'' Milo said, worrying about how it would come off. It wasn't criticism as much as it was stating a fact. He was fine with it. For her he could be patient.

''Like when?'' Andy asked, surprised at the twist this conversation had taken. ''I didn't tell you to propose to me, and you were the one who brought up having kids…'' In the army she had always taken charge, it had been her job and she was good at making decisions under pressure. But she didn't want Milo or Lu thinking that she was too bossy, like they had to wait until she was the one bringing it—anything—up.

''I did propose to you,'' Milo concurred, ''And then I waited for you to set the date.'' He hadn't brought any of his own input into that decision, and even if he did feel like a ten month engagement was rather long, he had bitten his tongue. He would be okay with a ten year engagement if he was being perfectly honest, as long as it ended with her in a white dress—or whatever kind of dress she wanted to wear—and saying ''I do''. ''And you're the one deciding if or when we have kids.''

''Sorry but I don't think that's a decision to take lightly,'' Andy said, knowing perfectly well that if it were up to Milo they would already be trying. She opened her mouth to ramble but Milo cut her off before she could.

He ran his hands up and down her arms, seeing that she was getting a bit upset over this. ''Andy, honey, it's fine. I do want you to be sure when—or if—we have kids, take all the time you need. It's not a bad thing that you take charge.'' He figured framing it like that—as opposed to them _letting her_ take charge—would make Andy a bit more agreeable. ''You know what you're about, and you know what you do and don't want, if anything I'm glad for it.''

Andy looked away, trying to accept it as something other than critique. She didn't know what else to call it. ''And Delgado?'' She could see him start to answer before stopping himself and she cocked her head, ''What is it?''

''I shouldn't speak for her.''

''What did she tell you?''

''Don't you think you should just ask her? I don't want to make assumptions about what she told me.''

Andy shook her head at him, ''Just tell me what she said.'' It would probably a few days still until she would see Lu and she knew that it would plague her if she didn't know. She knew Milo knew it would plague her. All she wanted was to have a nice weekend with Milo, to celebrate Valentine's Day with him and preferably spend most of the weekend in bed. That meant not speaking to Lu until they were both at work on Monday, she didn't want to wait until then to find out.

Milo couldn't remember what Lu's exact words had been but knew the general sentiment. He sighed, ''Lu loves you a lot,'' he said straight up. In a way it was making assumptions about how Lu felt, but with what he had seen between Lu and Andy it wasn't exactly farfetched. ''I think that if it were up to her you two would be married by now-''

''We can't get married.''

''I know that,'' Milo said, ''And so does she. Trust me, _she knows_.'' They had been friends while he and Andy had been broken up but their friendship had soured quite a bit since then, nevertheless he knew Lu well enough and they had talked just enough since both getting back together with Andy that he knew exactly how she felt. ''I am just saying that she wants to make sure you're comfortable with everything you two do, it's why she didn't tell Lana about you two sooner.'' He hesitated to continue but ultimately decided to just spit it out, ''I honestly think she got engaged to Jonas and stayed with him as long as she did because she thought you would be more comfortable dating her if they were together.''

It wasn't anything Lu had told him, or anything she had even hinted at. It was more so just his assumptions. He had seen the spark go out between Lu and Jonas a long time before they broke up and had been surprised by how long they had stayed together. He had been glad when they got engaged because he figured it would help Andy move on but would be lying if he said that he thought they would have their happily ever after together. It was an assumption, but not a baseless assumption.

Andy backed away from Milo, sitting down next to him on the bed instead. ''I don't think that that's true,'' she said, not quite believing that Lu would or could ever do that.

''And I don't think you realize how crazy she is about you,'' Milo said as he pulled Andy close to him again. He softly scratched her back as they laid in silence.

''I know she loves me,'' Andy said, ''I love her too, but-''

''Andy,'' Milo said, interrupting her. He could tell she was starting to get upset and was quick to nip it in the bud. ''All I'm saying is that I think Lu is waiting for you to make any kind of commitment, maybe you should just let her know somehow that you think you'll still be together a couple of months from now.''

* * *

''I've got a present for you,'' Andy said, slipping the envelope to Lu across her desk.

Lu picked it up hesitantly. The last time she had gotten a present in an envelope it had been from Jonas for their one month anniversary, it had been stock in his company, not something she had been too impressed by. ''What for?'' She asked, not quite opening it yet. She could see a glimmer in Andy's eyes and it made her wonder. They hadn't seen each other since the previous Friday and something seemed different now.

''A belated Valentine's Day gift,'' Andy said as she sat on the armrest of the chair across from Lu.

Lu slumped down, ''You didn't need to get me anything for that,'' she said, putting down the envelope, ''And even if you did, you talking to Marc was more than I could've asked for.'' Marc surprising her with pancakes was one thing—a very welcome surprise—but the story that went along with it. Lu hadn't expected Andy to make such an effort to restore the mother-son relationship they had once shared, but had been glad for it.

''Still,'' Andy said as she pushed the envelope back in Lu's hands, ''Open it.'' She couldn't help but smile as she watched Lu do just that. She had listened to Milo's advice and—just like she had once told Lu she should—she was taking more responsibility for the part she played in their relationship. Reflecting back on it, what Milo had told her didn't seem so crazy. Yes, Lu usually wasn't hesitant to let her wishes known and could be very vocal when she felt that she or someone she cared about had been done wrong. But, during their relationship Lu did seem a little less eager to do that.

Lu frowned as she pulled the content from the envelope, ''Hotel reservations?''

''For two nights, next month in Atlantic City. I remembered you mentioning that you wanted to go there and I figured we could make a weekend out of it.'' It wasn't quite the same as the trips that she had taken with Milo to Cape June let alone Maui, but it was something. She felt she had to explain herself further as she slipped into the seat of the chair, ''I actually wanted to book a longer vacation this summer but I didn't know where you'd want to go so…''

Lu circled her way to the other side of the desk, slipping into Andy's lap, ''Thank you,'' she said, laying the envelope back down as she sat more squarely on Andy's knees, her own legs pulled up and tucked in next to Andy's thighs in the chair. One of her arms was draped around Andy's shoulders, ''Thank you for this as well as for talking to Marc, he… I think he's starting to come around.''

Andy looked back and forth between Lu's eyes; getting Marc to come around made her hopeful that maybe one day her daughters would be able to accept their relationship as well. ''I hope so.''

* * *

A few weeks had passed. Andy and Lizzy's birthdays had come and gone, and Kayla had—after months of looking—found an apartment that was both big enough and didn't cost as much as ''a four-bedroom house on 20 acres back home''. Andy knew that Milo moving on would only make Kayla more eager to move out but had hoped that she would have a bit longer with the intern. Over the years she had come to think of her as her own daughter and it was going to be strange not having her around.

Milo snuck up behind Andy who was leaning in the doorway, looking into the empty guestroom. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, ''So… she's really gone, isn't she?''

''Is it weird that I miss her already?'' Andy asked as she turned around in his arms. Since Jesse had started college she wasn't around nearly as much either, now it was just going to be her with Milo and Lizzy. The house was starting to feel a bit empty.

''You regularly spend fifteen hours a day at the hospital,'' Milo reminded her, ''You'll see her lots.''

Andy took a deep breath as she broke away from Milo, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind her to their bedroom, ''Come with me. I got something for you.'' Their conversation had reminded her of a gift she had bought him and figured it was now actually time to give it, even if the implication attached to it made her a bit nervous.

Milo followed her with his eyes as he sat down on the bed. Getting a plastic bag pushed into his hands he looked at her amused, wondering what she could have possibly gotten him. He pulled a small carton box from the bag and gave her a confused look before taking a closer look at it. ''Now what is this?'' For a second thinking it was a pregnancy test.

''Ovulation tests,'' Andy clarified, taking the box from him as he put his arms around her waist, holding her close. She looked in his eyes as he looked up at her in surprise, ''Like the fertility specialist told you last month, if we're going to try to have a baby then I should keep track of when I'm ovulating.'' The happy but speechless look on his face made her smile, ''You know I can't guarantee that we'll actually get pregnant but… let's give it our best shot.''

* * *

''Are you sure this is a good idea?'' Andy asked between kisses as Lu was pushing her up against the bedroom door.

It was March 18th, Milo's birthday. He and Lu had talked in his office over lunch, leaving Andy out of the loop. All she knew was that Milo was in charge today, Andy had given him full freedom to do whatever he pleased; any fantasy he might have she would fulfill. And despite his still somewhat lingering jealousy over her relationship with Lu, he had now fully embraced the latter woman for the time being to make it all come true.

Lu shushed Andy, spinning her around so she was facing the door. ''Don't say anything,'' she said in a firm tone. ''And don't move.'' Andy could hear Lu walking away from her, towards the bed, the sound of something scraping over the floor. She immediately recognized the sound; it was the plastic box Milo kept under their bed, filled to the brim with random items he used to kick their sex life up a notch. Not that it had needed that for quite a while now.

Lu ran the silk fabric through her hands as she checked out the content of the box, pleased to find everything in there that she could possibly need. She had a few hours which was more than plenty for what they had planned.

Andy could hear Lu approaching and her heart raced. Yes, she had agreed to let them do whatever and she was mostly excited, but what they did on a regular basis was already more extreme than most couples did on special occasions. She couldn't imagine what they could possibly have planned.

She could feel Lu slide the silk eye mask across her face and for a second it disoriented her. Having others take over control was somewhat liberating for her, it took the responsibility she felt on a daily basis—both for her children as well as her patients—away from her, but taking control was also something that came natural to her. Part of her still wanted to always be in charge, to not even be able to see was going to be a challenge.

Lu, for a second, contemplated what to do next. Using these kinds of items seemed to be more Milo's forte. Merely being with Andy had been experimentation enough for her, and if it wasn't for Milo asking her to do this she would have never brought it up. Picking her next item up, she turned back to Andy. ''Take off your clothes.''

Andy had already kicked off her shoes when they had first entered the apartment, but was still in her work clothes. Trying not to think too much about this as she was sure it would ruin the mood, she pulled off her clothes as quickly as possible.

Trying to just tune out her mind and go with the flow, Andy didn't even hear Lu grab anything else, just her suddenly grabbing both of Andy's wrists, pulling them close together and closing the handcuffs around them. Andy pulled against the restrain for a second, wondering what the hell she had agreed to. ''Do I want to know what you have planned?'' She asked as she turned to Lu, knowing that the deal was that she wasn't going to ask questions.

Lu knew that as well, and decided not to answer anything—actually, this gave her an idea. She hadn't cleared it with Milo but since it was amongst the items he had laid out for her it must be fine. ''Open your mouth,'' she ordered, reaching behind her and grabbing it.

Andy frowned behind the mask even though she knew Lu couldn't see it. She was trying to remember the items Milo had put in the box but was coming up empty. ''What?''

Lu licked her lips, ''Turn around.'' This was something she _had_ discussed with Milo, any kind of punishment she was allowed to give. After a moment of hesitation Andy did as she was told, turning away from Lu and wondering if she still had to open her mouth. Not giving herself a moment to doubt her doing this, Lu landed a quick blow on Andy's ass.

A yelp left her mouth, surprised by this. Though Lu had over time grown fonder of giving Andy the occasional slap on the ass, it was still a bit of a rarity and Andy hadn't seen it coming. When after a few seconds there was no second slap, she turned back around.

''There's more where that came from,'' Lu said, holding back a smile. She knew Andy couldn't see her but her smile was almost audible to Andy it seemed.

''Is that supposed to stop me?'' Andy asked, holding back a chuckle. Spanking was a good kind of punishment, on more than one occasion she had pretty much come from just that, not much extra stimulation necessary. If Milo wanted to do just that all night long, she would probably agree to it.

''Next time I won't use my hand,'' Lu said, realizing that Andy probably didn't care that much. ''Now, open your mouth,'' she repeated. After a second, Andy did. Pushing the ball into her mouth and then securing the ball gag behind Andy's head, she could hear her start to argue despite the sounds being muffled. ''That'll teach you to question me,'' Lu said, staring at the image in front of her.

It had never been her thing, but seeing Andy standing there—buck naked and helpless—it wasn't the worst thing in the world. ''Now, since you can't talk anymore…'' Lu was looking around, trying to find something before realizing that would be helpless since Andy couldn't see, ''The new safe word is just tapping out. Tap the ground with your foot a couple of times or something, okay?''

Andy nodded, balancing from one foot to the other as she waited impatiently for Lu to continue. They were doing exactly what Milo wanted, and he had never hesitated to push past what he thought her boundaries were—and though it had always worked out fine, she was sure that sooner or later something was going to end disastrously.

Lu grabbed Andy by the arm, guiding her to the edge of the bed. ''Bend over,'' she said, pushing the box to the side to make room. This is the part she was the most nervous about, but she was determined not to let that show. Andy had always been more than willing to take on the submissive role and that's exactly how she wanted her, have her be ready for anything when Milo came home. He hadn't been exactly clear on what he had planned, and Lu had decided against asking.

She could feel a certain amount of hesitancy coming from Andy as she leaned over the bed and whilst normally that would make her take a step back and reaffirm her consent, she knew that that wasn't what was expected tonight. Ignoring Andy for a second she lifted up the box and set it down on the bed, rummaging through it.

As she ran her hand over Andy's back, Andy straightened her legs, pushing her ass up in the air even more. Lu ran her eyes over the long toned legs. She didn't need to rush. She could take her time taking in the sight in front of her, making Andy's anticipation grow stronger. Only Lu knew exactly what she had planned, not even Milo was privy to all the details.

She took a deep breath as she picked up the next item she wanted to use, the one she was the most nervous for. It was purple. Not too big, not too small. It had been in the box Milo had but she couldn't recall Andy ever mentioning them using it. It felt sturdy enough in her hands, the wide base fit perfectly in her slender hand. Wanting to make Andy more curious she put it down on the small of Andy's back which dipped down just perfectly.

Despite Andy not being able to say a word, or even just give Lu a look, Lu could still sense her wondering. Grabbing a small bottle of lube Lu squirted some of it into her hand before running her hand over Andy's ass. She had never been much for anal play. Had never suggested it to any of her boyfriends and had never responded much when they brought it up, but doing it to someone else was a completely different story.

She pushed one of her legs between Andy's legs before getting down on her knees. With a bit of maneuvering she could still go down on Andy from behind, and it made it much easier to now push further than she had before and find her intended target with her tongue. One of her hands had sneaked around Andy's hips and her fingers had in no time found Andy's clit. There had been enough encounters between them now that she could map out all of Andy's body without even looking.

Really, it tasted just like any other piece of skin. The only big difference from going down on Andy's pussy was that there was no natural lubricant—no sour juices coating her tongue. The temporary stiffening in Andy's legs told her that this had taken her by surprise, and frankly it had taken Lu by surprise as well. She hadn't planned on doing this. It wasn't until she saw the butt plug in the box that she had made up her mind to finally cross this new boundary.

There was nothing inherently dirty about it, and as she heard how much Andy was enjoying it after overcoming the shock she regretted not trying it before. After a minute or so she pulled away, switching her tongue out for first one finger, then two. She heard how shaky Andy's breathing was, which could mean one of two things: either she was so into this that she was trying not to moan and it caused her to breathe funny, or she hated this enough that she was trying so hard to restrain herself from jumping away that she forgot to breathe and was now trying not to make her need for oxygen STAT too obvious.

Lu got up and leaned over, bringing her lips close to Andy's ear, ''You remember the safe word, right?'' Realizing a second too late that it wasn't a word at all, but she knew Andy would understand her. After Andy gave her a quick nod she pulled back a bit. With the reaffirmation that if anything was amiss Andy would let her know, she picked up the plug again, pulling her fingers away and softly pushing the lubed up plug in. She could hear Andy gasp and watched her go weak in the knees for a second. ''Is this okay?'' She asked quietly.

Yes, she was in charge. And tonight was all about new things. But when it came to new stuff she always felt the need to be a bit more careful. Andy nodded into the comforter below her face and Lu pulled it out the slightest bit before thrusting it back in. One of her hands looped back around to the front and she started to slowly rub Andy's clit.

Andy couldn't deny that she was just a bit uncomfortable in her current position; nor could she deny that this just felt really good. Her usually method of biting down on her lip to keep herself from making noise wasn't working at the moment and even though every sound came out quite twisted, the message was all the same. She was nearing the edge embarrassingly fast and when Lu pulled out the plug yet again it was Andy who pushed back against it, not willing to wait until Lu pushed it back in—knowing that if only she were allowed to set the tempo herself she could reach completion in no time at all. After which she knew she would let herself be at Lu's mercy, would let her do whatever she wanted.

Lu looked down at Andy thrusting back against the plug and moved her hips in the same motion, pretending for a second that she was fucking Andy like this. She knew that Andy would never need this from her since she had Milo but it was something fun to fantasize about anyway. She watched Andy arch into the bed and with her hips pushed her closer up against the edge of the bed, needing something to hold Andy up as she came undone.

With a shudder Andy could feel her knees buckle under her and was glad for Lu holding her up. In that moment she didn't have the brain power to focus on not falling to the floor as her nervous system was flooded with endorphins.

Lu pushed the butt plug all the way in, deciding to just let it stay in for now as she rolled Andy onto her back. She was sitting on Andy's upper legs, her knees digging into the mattress. Lu leaned over, kissing Andy's neck as she slowly made her way down, trying to figure out her next move as she ignored the fact that Andy still hadn't completely come down from her orgasm. She dragged her teeth over Andy's nipples, her hands stroking any soft skin it could find. For a second she ignored that Andy had been made unable to speak and half expected an answer when she asked—with one eye on the box still on the bed next to them—, ''We've still got a few hours until Milo will be here, what else should we try?''


	34. The Stall

Sorry this took soooo long! I had initially intended for it to be quite different but ultimately decided that sounded to much like some kind of porno which [despite what it may look like at time...] is not what I intend this story to be. I promise though that I'm working on new chapters and that some more exciting stuff is coming up!

* * *

 **The Stall**

* * *

When Milo finally walked into the house the first thing he noticed was complete silence. He wasn't surprised. It had been two in the morning when he had finally been able to leave the hospital. He had known he was going to be home late but after one of his long time patients had been brought into the emergency room he knew that there would be no hope left of having any romantic time alone with Andy.

As he made his way upstairs he made sure to be as quiet as possible not wanting to wake anybody up. He had his fingers crossed that it would just be Andy who was home—even though he had asked Lu to ''participate'' that evening it was late enough that he wanted her to have already left—when he walked into the bedroom he was disappointed though. Not only was Lu still at their house, she was sleeping curled up next to Andy. For a second he hesitated what to do before realizing there was no other option than to sleep next to them. The only other two beds in the house belonged to Jesse and Lizzy and that just wouldn't be right.

Milo could hear Andy groan as his face hit the cold pillow, ''Are you awake?'' He whispered as he tried to make himself comfortable. He could feel her hand on his stomach and it reminded him of just how much he had wanted to be home with her all day. All day, his whole birthday, he had spent away from her.

''No,'' Andy groaned into her pillow as she tried to wake herself up. She couldn't quite recall how long she had spent waiting for him that evening, and she could tell Lu had been waiting too, quickly running out of ideas on how they could spend their night. It wasn't until Lu had found a vibrator and some rope that she had found a way to waste a lot of time, Andy wasn't entirely sure how long she had been left alone like that. All she knew was that she had lost count of the amount of times she came, and that she was now sore in the best possible way.

Under any other circumstances she would've been fine with not having sex for quite a while, but truth be told she would never say no to Milo. She had missed him. She still wanted to make sure he celebrated his birthday in some way, and she had promised him that she would do whatever he wanted and had no intention of now coming back on that.

Andy rolled herself over so that she was cuddled up against him, trying to forget Lu who was asleep behind her. ''How was work?''

Milo's eyes were slowly adjusting to the dark and he could see Andy's dark eyes staring up at him, her bare skin pressed against his. He swallowed hard as he could feel her hand slowly making its way down, but nothing on her face gave it away. ''Fine,'' he said, his mouth dry. ''They brought Mona Jeffers in.''

Andy's face turned to surprise, surprised that she hadn't been paged even despite being off duty. ''My ballerina?'' She asked. Mona had been one of her patients for years, had finally received a human heart transplantation not a month and a half after the initial xenotransplantation they had carried out.

Milo could see on her face that she was thinking about Mona, but could feel her hand push his underwear down and close her hand around him. He was already semi hard. ''She's rejecting the heart,'' he said, trying to suppress his instinct of pushing her down onto her back and fucking her hard until she couldn't remember who Mona Jeffers or anybody else for that matter was. But Lu was there. And yes, he had asked her but now he just wished she was anywhere but in their bed.

Andy peppered his skin with kisses as she made her way down his body. The plan had been all along that she would be with Milo; she wasn't going to keep Lu being there from that. ''I'll go see her in the morning,'' she told Milo as she dragged his underwear down his legs.

Milo inhaled sharply as he could feel her mouth close around him, promptly forgetting what he was going to say. His eyes were slowly adjusting to the dark and he could see Lu asleep not three feet away from him, her long hair covering some of her face. It made it hard to focus on what Andy was doing but he knew it didn't matter, he had been on edge for so long at the thought of what he had planned that he knew he wouldn't last long anyway.

Andy closed her hand around the base of his dick, applying some pressure, and she could hear him hiss. Lu stirred next to her and Andy was simultaneously praying in her head that Lu wouldn't wake up as well as trying not to think about her at all. She could feel Milo's hand on her cheek, keeping the hair away from her face so he could watch her and she picked up the pace a bit. She could taste the pre-cum on her tongue and swallowed around him.

Milo tore his eyes away from Andy just in time to see Lu frown as she tried to wake herself up, clearly unable to even subconsciously ignore what was going on next to her. He could see her eyes widen in surprise when she finally realized what was happening and he couldn't help but stare at her, curious to see how she was going to react. He had known he was going to be home late so he had put into action something he had suggested to Andy before she and Lu had even gotten together officially; she could be with Lu, then tell him about it and he could 'punish' her. It was why he had asked Lu to come over. Sure, her still being there hadn't been part of the plan but he was starting to think that maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

He leaned his head back, trying to just focus on how good Andy was making him feel instead of anything else going on around him; his arms fell to the side as he surrendered himself to her, something that rarely happened.

Andy felt a hand in her hair and it took her a second to notice it was Lu's. She hadn't realized it was no longer just Milo who was watching and unlike what usually happened she now felt emboldened by it. The knowledge that she could make feel Milo good enough that instead of taking charge like usual he could merely lie there and take it, it satisfied her more than a dozen orgasms ever could.

She could feel him twitch and then come in her mouth, and suppressed her normal instinct of just immediately swallowing. Over the years she had heard plenty of her girlfriends complain about the taste of it, but for some reason she had never minded it. She moved up his body just the slightest bit, her hand on his chest, and she waited until his eyes were back on her before she kissed Lu deeply. Andy could feel Lu's tongue in her mouth before Lu pulled away after a split second, staring at Andy surprised as Andy chuckled just a little bit before pulling Lu close to her again, kissing her again.

Lu could feel Milo's load slipping down her throat and Milo swallowed hard at the sight of it. He hadn't expected Andy to do that and he certainly hadn't expected Lu to be okay with it.

Andy's hand lingered on Lu's cheek as the latter woman pulled away, sitting back on her heels, ''I'm going to get some water,'' she said as she scooted off the bed, ''Do you want anything?''

After both Andy and Milo had said that they didn't and Lu had left the room, Andy finally turned back to Milo, snuggling up against him. ''Is it okay if she stays?'' She asked, her hand seemingly having a mind of its own as she softly stroked his stomach. His hesitation was evident from his silence and she pulled away so she could actually be face to face with him, somewhat already regretting her words before she had even said them, ''As it's your birthday,'' she could easily recall what Lu had told her just a few hours earlier, ''You get to do whatever you want. To either of us.''

Milo could sense that she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea and didn't know how to respond. He had never considered doing anything with Lu. He hadn't planned for her to be there at all, let alone have another threesome with—he didn't even know it was possible—less planning than the first time. ''You sure about this?'' He asked, knowing that if Andy changed her mind he would never bring it up again, and the whole point of whether he wanted to would be moot.

Andy stared into his eyes as she made up her mind. She loved both of them; she trusted both of them… She wasn't entirely sure why Lu had decided that she wanted to, but figured she could ask her about it later. ''I want you to have the best birthday,'' she told him. In his eyes she could see he wasn't too sure about this, ''Take it or leave it. Just know that you're not going to get this chance again.''

* * *

''I don't know why I agreed to let you do this.'' Andy knew _exactly_ why she had agreed to this.

It had been just over two weeks since Milo's birthday and Andy and Lu had finally been able to go away for the weekend. Though Andy didn't know why Lu had wanted to go to Atlantic City she had found it to be pretty great, knowing that it was mostly because Lu was there.

Now though… it had been Lu's idea to go out to dinner, and it had been Lu who had convinced Andy to put on the underwear Lu had bought for her. Andy could feel the slight buzzing feeling and gripped the table cloth tightly in her hand as she watched a smug look appear on Lu's face. She had been hesitant to agree to the vibrating panties until Lu had reminded her how she had helped Andy out when Andy was lamenting about Milo's birthday being a flop when he hadn't been able to come home yet.

Still, when Lu wasn't looking Andy had fished the remote out of her bag and had hoped that would be the end of it while they were out in public, no such luck though. It vibrated just enough that it was quickly building an ache inside her but not enough to push her over the edge, all Andy could do was lean back in her chair, holding onto the side of the seat as she pushed her legs together, and watch as Lu was sitting across from her pretending nothing was going on.

It was making Andy reconsider if Milo's birthday had been worth this.

Given the fact that just the memory of it got her all hot and bothered told her enough though. Milo hadn't included Lu as much as she had thought he might, and Andy was sure that if it wasn't for Milo being so serious about not straying—even despite Andy's permission to do whatever he wanted to do with Lu—things would have probably gotten quite a bit crazier. Still, it had left all of them satisfied and Andy was glad that Lu had stayed around.

The memory of Lu being on top of her, sitting on her face… Milo inside of her, Lu's fingers on her clit… The whole thing just made her mind foggy and if the vibrating panties weren't enough to make her blush, the memory of that night certainly did. Everything that they had done, combined with all the scenarios that had ran through her mind when she had told Milo he could do whatever he wanted…

Okay yeah, it had totally been worth this.

The only thing that had kind of put a damper on the whole evening for Andy was Milo's words from a weeks prior replaying in her head. He had told her to make some kind of commitment to Lu… or actually just told her that that seemed to be what Lu wanted. Andy knew that despite Milo being seemingly more and more supportive he would still always prefer her to just be with him, would prefer them to be monogamous to each other. She knew that at this point it would be useless but she couldn't help but keep that in mind.

She knew that Lu would pay no mind to her being quiet, probably figuring that it was because of the vibrating panties. On the inside though… Milo's words were still replaying in her head and she still couldn't make up her mind about what kind of commitment she wanted to make—or if she even wanted that at all. Andy was staring at Lu who was eating peacefully across the table from her and tried to picture their future like she had done with Milo.

Just a few months into her relationship with Milo she had had no doubt that she wanted to marry him one day, but her relationship with Lu was different. She didn't know if it was because she was already with Milo or if it was because Lu was a woman, she just couldn't picture their future together as easily, couldn't imagine a life without Lu but also couldn't imagine growing old with her. There were such strong feelings between them and Andy felt that sometimes they were stronger even than what she felt for Milo, but that didn't change anything.

''You enjoying yourself over there?'' Lu asked without even looking up from her menu. She could feel Andy's eyes on her and tried to hide how much she was enjoying this but was failing. The punishments that she had come up with weeks earlier had been kept in the back of her mind and though she couldn't say that she didn't enjoy what they had done on Milo's birthday it still felt like a good opportunity to try one of her ideas.

''You really like torturing me, don't you?'' Andy asked as she finally picked up her own menu as well, trying to push her previous train of thought out of her mind.

''That's what you get when you go through my purse and throw the remote out,'' Lu stated matter-of-factly. It had been her plan all along to keep on Andy on edge all evening, Andy trying to get rid of the remote just gave her the justification that she needed if she was going to call this a punishment.

Having the menu in front of her finally gave her something else to focus on, and Andy was glad for the distraction. She loved Lu taking control but it felt nice to sometimes take some of that control back and almost tease Lu with that. Their eyes finally met across the table and Andy picked up her glass of water, making it clear with one simple look that she wasn't bothered. Everything was fine and dandy. As soon as she took her eyes off of Lu she could feel it getting kicked up a notch though and she had to try her hardest to suppress a moan. The table cloth that had been clutched in her hand she accidentally yanked towards herself and she could hear Lu stifle a laugh. ''You think you're so funny don't you?'' Andy asked even though she was smiling as well.

Lu watched Andy take a sip of water as if nothing was going on but she could see on her face that the panties were very much doing their job. ''I just like seeing you like this,'' she said.

After the waiter had taken their order and had left them alone again, Andy silently contemplated telling Lu about her and Milo trying for a baby. On the one hand she felt that Lu had a right to know, but on the other hand… She didn't want to get Lu's hopes up if she did want them to have a baby, and she also didn't want them to break up before any baby had even been conceived if Lu didn't want a baby.

Lu could see by the look on Andy's face that something was going on. One of her eyebrows shot up, ''What's going on?''

Just because Andy wasn't ready to ask her to move in, or ready to tell her they were trying for a baby, it didn't mean she didn't have something to ask. ''I want you to be my maid of honor,'' she said, ''Now, I completely understand if you don't want to because it's too weird or because you and Milo don't always get along… but it would mean the world to me.''

After a second a warm smile spread on Lu's face but it wasn't long before it fell a bit, ''Don't you want the girls to…''

''They can be bridesmaids,'' Andy interrupted her, ''I just feel like despite my best efforts to keep both relationships separate you are a big part of our relationship just like Milo is a big part of ours, I want you to be a part of our special day,'' she hesitated for a second, ''And maybe one day Milo can play a small role in our special day,'' she added softly.

Lu could see Andy shifting around a bit and wasn't sure if it was because of what she had just said or because of the panties still buzzing away like nobody's business. She leaned over and gave Andy a quick peck on the lips; ignoring the dirty look she got from the guy sitting at the table next to them, hoping Andy didn't see him. ''I can't wait,'' she said, deliberately not making it clear whether she meant Andy and Milo's wedding or her and Andy's.

''Well, you'll have to wait a little while longer because I have to go to the ladies' room,'' Andy said as she got up, she could see Lu eyeing her suspiciously. ''Don't worry,'' she said, lowering her voice, ''I'm not going to take them off.''

It was in the ladies room that Andy finally felt like she could breathe. In the mirror she saw how red she had gotten and she was glad that she could for just a second stop hiding how incredibly turned on she was. She splashed some cool water in her face—grateful that she was alone—before closing the stall door. The familiar clicking of Lu's heels and the subsequent closing of the door echoed off the tiles as Andy turned the lock and she could hear Lu call out her name. Andy had barely opened the stall door before Lu pushed her way inside. ''Did you miss me already?'' Andy asked, ignoring the fact that Lu was already kissing her neck.

''Always.''

Andy narrowed her eyes though Lu didn't see it. ''Are you checking up on me?'' She asked. Yes, it had crossed her mind to just throw the panties in her bag and go without, sure that Lu would be just as turned on knowing that Andy wasn't wearing underwear, but she had already decided against doing that.

''Just wanted to make sure,'' Lu said as she captured Andy's lips in an increasingly deepening kiss. Eventually she pulled away, ''Plus I couldn't wait until we got back to the hotel room.'' She slipped the fabric on Andy's shoulder to the side and kissed the newly exposed skin.

Andy leaned her head back against the cold tile behind her, ''If we weren't in a public bathroom I'd jump you,'' she whispered despite nobody else being within earshot, ''But we are,'' she added after a second, trying and failing to ignore how good Lu's lips felt on her skin. That, combined with the panties that had left her on the edge for a while now, it felt like a lethal combination. She could hear Lu murmur something about not caring about that and felt her try to turn Andy around, pushing them into the same position they so often used.

Lu didn't expect Andy to fight back against what she was doing and she pulled away for a second, ''What's wrong?'' She asked as she gathered some of the fabric of Andy's dress in her hand and started to pull it up. Despite how well Andy had tried it Lu had still been able to see how she was being slowly being pushed closer and closer to coming and without any stimulation and without even wanting to she had followed suit.

Andy inched up Lu's dress as well inch by inch, knowing that despite what she was doing Lu was still in charge, always. ''Let me have some fun,'' she said as she slipped Lu's panties to the side, feeling that she was already wet.

''Me making you come isn't enough fun?'' Lu asked as she pushed the vibrating panties against Andy's clit, making her moan quietly into Lu's hair. She shut up rather quickly though when Andy's fingers finally made contact with her own clit, taking a deep shaky breath.

''I prefer to not be the only one having a good time,'' Andy said as she pushed Lu into the wall behind her, their bodies pressed together with their hands in the other's underwear, it wasn't exactly as she had imagined their vacation to go but she wasn't complaining. She was softly nibbling on Lu's ear before moving down and kissing her neck, feeling Lu's head resting against her shoulder. It so often felt like the focus got put solely on her in situations like these and Andy would be lying if she said it wasn't also the guilt over not being more willing to make commitments that now pushed her to make things more two-sided.

Lu sped up her movements as she could feel herself start to get closer to the edge as well and could feel Andy's body arching into her own, Andy's teeth nearly breaking the skin on Lu's throat as she tried to stifle a moan, one of Andy's hands grasping at the wall behind Lu as she looked for something to hold onto. Lu could hear a soft cry and then felt Andy contracting around her as she finally slipped two fingers inside her. ''Now don't tell me you're not having a good time,'' Lu said as she slipped the vibrating panties back into place, rubbing them against Andy for a few seconds just for good measure.

Andy could feel her legs shaking a bit beneath her and decided to not ignore that for once. She slowly sank to her knees and pushed Lu's dress up, glad that she wasn't wearing a very tight one. Andy couldn't resist rubbing her thighs together as she tried to make herself comfortable on the cold tile floor, pushing Lu's dress over her hips and her panties far to the side, slipping a few fingers in as her tongue at last made contact with Lu's clit, feeling that despite her trouble with committing to Lu she would gladly spend her lifetime between the apex of her legs.


	35. The Threat

To answer guest's question: the original idea I had for Milo's birthday in the previous chapter was to have something happen than involved Les [seemed appropriate as I mentioned him in the first chapter haha], and then the idea I had later was similar to what it is now but Andy and Lu would kind of had switched places, so Lu would've been with Milo. This was mostly because I wasn't sure what position I wanted them to use when it was all three of them together. I figured Andy and Lu sharing that kiss was probably as close together as I should make Milo and Lu.

Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

* * *

Now, this chapter mostly feels like just a set-up for the next chapter, plus a way to bridge the time between what has happened previously and what will happen next. If flashbacks aren't your thing then this chapter ain't for you.

* * *

 **—The Threat—**

* * *

 _Andy could hear Dr. Haywood's voice in the distant, hearing him announce the next single doctor to be auctioned off for the annual bachelor auction. She was sure that if she put in some effort she could calculate just how much alcohol she had coursing through her system, but she didn't particularly care._

 _It had been a bit of a shock to see Milo with some other woman hanging on his arm so soon after their break-up and she hadn't even had Lu to distract herself. Anyway, it didn't matter. She had seen the woman leave and Milo head towards the elevators, probably heading to his office. She managed to catch the elevator door right before it shut and seconds later it was just her and Milo coasting up to the sixth floor of Rittenhouse hospital._

 _Just a few weeks earlier he had lain awake in bed, hearing Lu's moans drifting through the walls of his apartment and though he had found someone else, Milo couldn't exactly say he was over it. There was complete silence, just awkwardness and him staring at Andy through the corner of his eye. He badly wanted to forget what had happened and just get back together but he knew he couldn't forgive her; he had seen her and Lu together and knew it was just a matter of time before something would happen between them once again. Still, it wasn't common enough for her to get dressed up that it didn't affect him and he couldn't help but stare._

 _''So…'' Andy started, trying to find some way to break the awkwardness. She couldn't imagine him taking her back but she couldn't handle them being nothing to each other, starting just a simple conversation on the elevator was a step in the right direction she figured. She turned a bit more towards him, her eyes falling on his lips and she had to hold herself back. ''I saw your dat-'' It was a terrible idea to bring up his date as Andy didn't even want to think about him with another woman but it didn't matter. His sweet, soft, perfect lips on her own stopped her from saying anything else._

 _Her hands moved up to his sides, pulling him closer to herself. His tongue was in her mouth, the sweet taste perfectly complimenting his personality. She could feel him push back against her, her back against the cold elevator wall, his hands seemingly everywhere. She wanted to breathe him in, consume his entire being, never be away from him ever again. She could already feel him against her thigh and for once she didn't care that they were in public. His hands were on her butt, pulling her pelvis closer to his own as he moved against her thigh, needing some kind of friction to alleviate the arousal he had for her that had been building inside him for far too long._

 _Just as her hands moved to his belt she could feel him pull away and immediately missed his lips on her own, her hand still lingering on his arm as he stood in the middle of the elevator as if nothing had happened right as the doors opened._

 _The ding somewhat brought Andy back into the moment, got her mind back to reality. This is what she had given up. She could say that she didn't know what had gotten over her a month earlier when she made the decision to sleep with Lu, but even a split second flash in her mind of what Lu looked like reminded her that she had no will power when it came to the stunning Latina doctor. The long brown hair, the impossibly long eyelashes, her smile, her perfect lips… Andy's eyes were still staring at Milo, followed him as he exited the elevator and left her alone in there. Alone as the doors closed and she stood in the elevator with the smell of Milo's cologne still in her nose._

 _It wasn't a simple crush that she had on Lu. It wasn't even a simple_ 'can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars yada yada…' _No. It was feeling sick to her stomach with excitement at the thought of seeing Lu. It was actual feelings. It was not being able to sleep as she could only think about Lu lying next to her. actually, legit being with Lu though… That felt like reaching for the stars, literally, trying to catch a star from her backyard. Impossible. No way._

 _But even as she had been kissing Milo, the man she had been yearning for for a month now… Lu was still in the back of her mind._

Just like she was now. Andy was still on top of Milo, could feel his dick twitch inside her before he grew soft. She had barely come down from her own orgasm and wasn't sure why that night of the bachelor auction had come back to her as she came, the only thing she knew was that she was glad for the ring on her finger, glad to have the knowledge that she could be with him every single night now if she so pleased.

Andy took a deep breath, trying to catch her breath, before rolling off of Milo and pulling the sheets over her naked body. The weather might've warmed up quite a bit in the past few months but the May breeze blowing in through the window still made it rather chilly. She looked over at Milo with a smile, his face close to hers.

''We might've just made a baby,'' she whispered to him. According to the test she had taken she was ovulating, and even though she knew that conception wasn't that quick and even if one of his sperm managed to somehow find her egg that, at her age that was still no guarantee that nine months from now they would be able to take a baby home, even so… it was still exciting to think that they might. At the moment it still felt like seeing Milo rock their baby in his arms was something that would only happen in her imagination, to think that might change…

''I hope so,'' Milo said, his hand softly stroking Andy's face. Not that he didn't love practicing making babies with Andy; he was still impatiently waiting for the day it would actually happen. ''Have you told Lu that we're trying?''

Andy groaned quietly as she turned around on the bed, leaning her legs against the wall behind the bed. ''I haven't found the right moment yet,'' she said, ''Haven't found the right words.''

Milo could tell from Andy's demeanor that she didn't feel like talking about it, and though he hoped she would tell Lu before they actually conceived he didn't want to pressure her too much. He didn't want to mingle in their relationship too much, especially since he hoped Lu wouldn't mingle in their relationship either. He kissed Andy on the lips before climbing over her and getting off the bed and heading to their closet, ''Just try to do it soon.''

* * *

 _She was sure this was a terrible idea. But the image of Lu was still replaying in her head and though Andy's fingers did a fine job of getting herself off it wasn't the same. Standing outside Lu's door, not even a little bit sure Jonas was out of town on one of his business trips; Andy tried to find the courage to ring the doorbell. Tried to find the courage to coax Lu into bed. They hadn't since Milo and Andy had broken up and Lu had followed her into the showers at work. Which was far too long ago now if you asked Andy._

 _She licked her lips and could still taste Milo on them, the memory of exactly how Milo's lips felt on her own still fresh on her mind. She tried to push it from her thoughts as she decided to just ring the doorbell and playing the rest of it by ear. Andy was sure she would find the words as soon as Lu opened the door, but when they actually came face to face she was speechless, a rather rare occurrence for her._

 _''Andy? What're you doing here?'' Lu asked. She had been just about to head off to bed, already half asleep, and Andy showing up at this hour had been pretty unexpected. ''Are you okay?'' She asked even despite the fact that she could tell on Andy's face that she wasn't._

 _''Milo and I kissed,'' it left Andy's lips before she had even had time to think about it. It hadn't been her plan to mention Milo to Lu at all and she wasn't sure why she had said it. Maybe it was because the last time anything had happened with her and Milo Lu had found the best possible way to comfort her? Maybe. Andy knew she wanted to say that Lu had been on her mind the entire time but worried about how it would come off._

 _Lu's face expressed surprise, ''Okay… Are you two…?'' She couldn't imagine them getting back together after their unceremonious break-up but would be happy for Andy if they did._

 _Andy knew that besides just being regular drunk she was somewhat sleep drunk as well now and it was making her bolder than usual. She ignored Lu's question, ''Is Jonas home?''_

 _Lu frowned a bit, wondering what exactly was on Andy's mind. She liked to think that she knew Andy quite well but considering the change in their relationship in the past couple of months she couldn't be so sure, there was never any certainty of what was going to happen from one moment to the next now. ''Not for another couple of days,'' Lu said. She hesitated for a second as she eyed Andy, ''Are you okay?''_

 _Andy swallowed, ''I want you inside of me.'' It was barely louder than a whisper but she knew Lu had heard her. She didn't care that she was completely disregarding the workings of Lu's anatomy, she didn't care. It most accurately said what she wanted. It got the point across, which was all that mattered. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds which seemed like an eternity to both—neither entirely sure where to take it from here._

 _Andy tentatively took a few steps forward, Lu automatically stepping back to not get in Andy's way. Andy let the door fall shut behind her; neither of them even heard it close. For the first time in what felt like way too long there were just a few feet separating them from each other. An arm's length. Andy was all too aware that all she had to do was reach out her hand and she could wipe Lu's hair away from her face, cup Lu's cheek in her hand, lean in, and kiss her. Without thinking about she licked her lips in anticipation._

 _Apparently that was all that Lu needed, but it wasn't the way either of them had imagined. It wasn't the hungry kisses they had shared before, the hungry kisses both of them figured they would have after a month of trying to leave space between each other and just live life as if nothing had happened between the two of them. But it wasn't like that. It was soft and gentle. Andy wouldn't dare call it loving because that had way too many implications for her to handle right now, but she knew there was no better word for it._

 _Andy could hear Lu moan into her mouth and her hands fell to the hem of Lu's shirt, taking off the garment was the only possible reason she would pull away from Lu's lips. It was only minutes later that she turned away from the window opposite her to watch as Lu closed the door to the guest bedroom. Vaguely she recalled Lu talking about turning it into a nursery once she and Jonas finally got married, but at the moment that seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind._

 _Lu pushed Andy backwards onto the queen size bed, crawling on top of her. Her lips captured Andy's lips in a kiss which she quickly deepened before moving down Andy's body. She ignored the dress Andy was wearing, merely pushing it up to her waist before dragging Andy's panties down her legs and burying her face in the apex on Andy's legs. Her hands were running up and down the outsides before finally coming to a rest of Andy's hips, keeping her pushed down as she started wiggling, attempting to buck away from Lu's attack on her clit._

 _It didn't take long for her to come undone._

 _Lu's head was resting on Andy's lower stomach as the latter woman tried to catch her breath. She wiggled her eyebrows, ''Want to see how many times I can make you come?''_

''You've been using that as a threat way too much,'' Andy said as she lay in bed next to Lu. She looked over at Lu's little notepad which had all the punishments she had thought off to use on Andy, with just a few crossed off.

''Because it's fun watching you get all uncomfortable,'' Lu said, ''It's not as if I'd ever actually do it,'' she added after a second before giving Andy a look, ''Or would I?'' It wasn't as if she opposed to actually having Nick be in there in the room with them, even if it was just to see how it would affect Andy. It was more the logistics of it that made it difficult; she doubted Milo would be okay with it, she didn't know if Nick actually wanted it or if it had been mere teasing, and she couldn't figure out for what exactly it would be an appropriate punishment.

Andy nudged Lu, ''You can cross withholding orgasms off the list though,'' she wanted Lu to forget about that one as quickly as possible, ''You've already used that one way too many times.''

''Because it's one of the few that's an actual punishment for you,'' Lu said with a laugh, ''Most of the things on this list you can actually get into… Spanking? You've basically come from that. The vibrating panties? It looked like a punishment for a little while but ultimately you were _way_ too into it.''

''Those were nice,'' Andy said with a smile as she thought back to their weekend away, almost two months ago now.

''Look, I'll think of some more punishments,'' even just to keep things interesting—even punishments could get stale after a while, ''I'll make a sexual bucket list or something…'' she said as she threw the notepad and pen down on her nightstand.

''I guess that means I should do some things that you can punish me for,'' Andy said before softly biting Lu on the neck. All her life she had been trying to avoid doing anything that warded a punishment, but with Lu and Milo… It had never been more fun to be bad. ''Maybe we can have a repeat of Milo's birthday.''

''It was my idea for you to offer Milo to let him to do whatever he wanted with me as well,'' which she had only done to appease Andy after she had freaked out about disappointing Milo on his birthday. '' _I_ offered it; I'm not going to punish you for that.''

Andy slid down the bed a bit so she was laying down more, cuddling into Lu's side. ''Thank you for doing that.''

''It was my pleasure,'' Lu said, ''Literally. I had a good time.'' It hadn't been her plan to even stay over that evening but she wasn't exactly complaining about how it had all turned out in the end. She still didn't feel attracted to Milo but for Andy she would take a bullet.

''It certainly keeps things interesting,'' Andy said. It had now happened two times that the three of them had ended up in bed together and she couldn't complain about either time. Not that what they usually did was boring by any means, she still enjoyed being with both Milo and Lu separately, but still…

''And if you ever get bored with us I can always invite Nick over to watch,'' Lu said. It had changed from how that threat had started; now it was just about Nick watching instead of joining them. Still, she had never even considered bringing it up to Milo and still hadn't been able to figure out if she even should. She didn't need permission for any of the other things on her list, but this actually involved another man; not the easiest thing to spring on Milo.

''You really love threatening me with that one don't you?'' Andy asked with a chuckle as she could see the broad smile on Lu's face. She bit her lip as she made up her mind, getting out from underneath Lu's touch and getting up off the bed. She put on her underwear and bra before turning back to Lu and answering the questioning look on her face, ''I just thought of a great idea,'' it was somewhat of a lie, ''But we have to go somewhere for it.''

Lu hesitantly picked up her own undergarments as well, putting them on as she narrowed her eyes at Andy, ''Do I want to know what you have in mind?''

Andy crossed the bed on her knees before standing up in front of Lu, pecking her on the lips, ''I promise you'll love it.''

* * *

Lu was racking her brain as they exited the elevator and walked down a hallway, the elevator had looked somewhat familiar, as did the hallway. Without realizing it she was staring at the very distinct crown molding trying to figure out where she had seen it before, trying to figure out where the hell Andy was taking her.

They finally stopped in front of one of the apartment doors as Lu thought back to what they had been talking about before Andy had come up with this ''brilliant'' idea, and realization sunk in. She stared at Andy as her jaw dropped, just as Andy knocked on the door. Her and Andy's eyes were fixed on each other as Lu shook her head, ''You wouldn't…''

The door flew open before Andy could even answer Lu's question with a wicked smile.

''Lu? Dr. C?'' Nick asked, surprised to see them there. ''What brings you here?''


	36. The Watcher

This took an eternity for many reasons, but I won't bore you with them. All I'm gonna say is that I'm going to make a real effort to never let it take that long again.

Oh, and Pruttel, if you are reading this, I love ya but bugger off lol.

* * *

 **—The Watcher—**

* * *

Andy ignored the ''what the hell are you doing'' look in Lu's eyes. Without even offering Nick any explanation she took Lu's hand into her own and pulled her behind her into the apartment.

Nick closed the door behind him before turning back to Andy and Lu, a questioning look on his face. It had been less than an hour since he had gotten home from his shift at the hospital and truth be told all he wanted to do was get a cold beer from the fridge and watch some kind of TV show that didn't require too much brainpower as he kicked back on the couch until it was time for bed; only to do the same thing again the next evening. When none of them spoke he was the first one to pipe up, ''Can I get you guys something to drink?''

''Some water,'' Lu croaked out, mainly to try and get him out of the room so she could ask Andy what the hell they were doing at Nick's apartment, her fingers crossed that this wasn't what she thought it might be.

''For me too,'' Andy said as she turned to Lu, her arm still around Lu's waist. As Nick disappeared into the kitchen and out of earshot she smiled at Lu, raising her eyebrows, wondering how exactly Lu would respond to all of this. She knew that Lu liked to take control and this was the perfect way to take some of that back into her own hands and call Lu's bluff, hoping against hope that she had made the right decision.

For a few moments their entire conversation merely consisted of exchanging looks as realization slowly sank in for Lu. It had been a fun threat, something to make Andy the slightest bit uncomfortable… she had never expected this. ''Please tell me…'' she didn't even know how to finish that sentence, and was still somewhat in denial.

''This was your idea,'' Andy said, pulling Lu a bit closer. She had given this too little thought and she wasn't sure how to proceed; whether she should tell Nick or if she should just get things going and have him find out that way. The first seemed like the better option but it seemed way too complicated to put her dynamic with Lu into words and ask him to watch them.

Lu could see a sprinkling of uncertainty in Andy's eyes and it made her wonder if she should just go ahead with this and hope Andy backed out at one point or another, sooner rather than later. It was a better option than to beg her to go back home to Lu; she didn't want Andy to think all her threats were empty. ''Okay, fine,'' she said even though she knew she sounded less than thrilled.

''Fine?''

''Fine. Let's do this,'' Lu said as she pulled her shirt over her head. ''Where's the bedroom?'' She looked around the apartment for the door, she had never actually been at Nick's apartment for longer than a few moments. She had never needed to know where the bedroom was.

Andy pointed to the hall, ''First door on the left,'' she said, her voice getting quieter by the minute. She watched Lu walk off and turned her back towards her, looking back at Nick who was making his way back into the living room with two water bottles, a confused look on his face as he looked around for Lu. Andy bit her lip, trying to make up her mind. She watched Nick open his mouth but interrupted him before he could say anything, ''Oh what the hell.'' They were going to do this, and she couldn't believe it. Now she just had to find a way to explain it to Nick.

''What's going on?'' Nick asked as he put the bottles down on the coffee table, watching Andy and waiting for an answer. ''Where did Lu go?''

She took a deep breath. ''We're going to go have sex, in your bedroom,'' Andy said, before giving a slight nod, ''You can watch if you want,'' she added as she started unbuttoning her shirt and dropping it on the floor in the hallway before disappearing into the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

''You sure about this?'' Lu asked as she pulled Andy close, unbuttoning her pants as she softly kissed Andy's neck. Yes, Andy had brought them here but Lu knew that that didn't mean she was fully onboard.

''Take your pants off before I change my mind,'' Andy said, her hands moving into Lu's hair as she kissed her on the lips. The room was only lit by a lamp on the bedside table but it didn't matter, they had spent enough nights together that they could even find their way in pitch-black darkness.

Lu pulled her pants off and discarded them on the floor, ''What did Milo say when you told him about this?'' She knew it was a bold assumption that Andy had even discussed this with Milo as it had seemed like a split moment decision when Andy suggested they go ''somewhere'', but Lu couldn't help but shake the feeling that Milo had a right to know about this. She couldn't imagine him being okay with it.

Andy thought back to her conversation with Milo. He hadn't seemed crazy thrilled about the idea but it being Nick and the fact that this was more so part of her relationship with Lu than their relationship seemed to make a difference. She scrunched her nose, ''It's fine. He's fine with it.''

Lu pushed Andy down onto the bed and got on top of her, kissing her. She could hear the door creak and could only assume it was Nick coming inside, she didn't bother to check though. It had been mostly playfully threatening to do this but the idea of Nick watching them still turned her on more than she had expected.

Nick swallowed hard as he watched Lu and Andy on his bed, they were both down to their underwear and he couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe they had shown up out of the blue and were going to do this. Since the moment Milo had drunkenly told him about Lu and Andy when he and Andy were broken up, this had been a dream scenario. One that he had teased Andy about but had never expected to become reality.

He held his breath as they kissed deeply and he could see Andy's hand making its way down Lu's body. He didn't know which one of them had come up with this idea—or if it had been something they had thought up together—as they both seemed equally hesitant, excited, and nervous.

Nick only wished he was allowed to do more than just watch.

Andy slipped her hand inside Lu's panties, surprised by how wet she was. Two of her fingers were circling Lu's clit and she could feel Lu's hot breath on her neck, tickling just the slightest bit. She was a bit more hesitant than she usually was; it felt like it wasn't just for pleasure but also putting on a show for Nick, a kind of pressure that she hadn't felt when it was Milo watching them. It made her think too much about what she was doing.

Andy closed her eyes, trying to forget him, just moving her fingers until Lu was writhing away from her but trying to force herself to stay in place as the pleasure was building inside of her.

Lu had to almost tear herself away from Andy, quickly pulling her underwear off and discarding it, moving up Andy's body until she was holding onto the headboard of the bed and she could feel Andy's mouth on her. Her long hair was brushing against the small of her back as she had her head back, her eyes squeezed shut. She was trying—and somewhat failing—to take deep breaths, trying to keep herself away from the edge just a bit longer, knowing it would make it all the sweeter when she finally reached her climax.

Andy pulled her mouth away, softly blowing against Lu's clit and she could see a shiver go through Lu's body, goosebumps on the inside of her thighs. When she finally put her mouth back on Lu she had to dig her fingers into her thighs to keep her from bucking away.

Nick watched with a dropped jaw as Lu let out a strangled moan and finally came. He didn't have to look down to know he was hard as a rock and he was having a tough time keeping himself from touching either one of the women or himself. He still wasn't entirely sure if he was allowed to do either.

Lu got off of Andy, laying down on the bed next to her, her face nuzzled in Andy's hair before the latter woman turned her head and kissed her softly.

After she had taken a moment to catch her breath Lu pulled Andy on top of her, wanting her close, wanting to breathe her in. They looked each other in the eyes and for a moment it was as if Nick wasn't even in the room; like they were back at one of their houses and this was just any other ordinary night.

Andy pulled her underwear off as well, sitting back on her knees. Lu's legs were dangling over Andy's thighs, their centers just centimeters away from each other. As Andy was taking off her bra she could feel Lu's fingers on her and took in a sharp breath. Even though she hadn't been touched her excitement had made her very sensitive and Lu seemed to take notice in no time.

Lu hooked her fingers inside Andy, taking just half a second to find her g-spot. She was feeling relaxed and just a bit tired from the orgasm she had just had and it made her want to take her time bringing Andy to the edge; wanting to make her feel as good as she had done.

It took a bit of maneuvering but she managed to get Andy further up the bed, straddling Lu's face, take the same position as before only switched. Her fingers were still inside as her tongue was working its magic and she knew that Andy was racing towards the edge as usual, the heightened excitement caused by Nick being there only making things worse.

Andy could see how dark Nick's eyes had gotten, one of his hands resting on his belt, his erection straining against the fabric of his pants. Their eyes met and she gave him a slight nod, permitting him to do what he had been wanting to do since the moment he had walked in: touch himself. Even before he was able to unzip his pants or get himself off he already seemed a bit relieved. The end of this torture was nigh.

Andy was rolling her hips as she could feel Lu sucking on her clit and she leaned forward, keeping herself up with one hand whilst pushing the other knuckle-deep into Lu, taking her by surprise. She set a quick pace as she looked at Nick, his eyes fixed on the two of them as pre-cum was leaking from his dick, the smell of sex in the air.

It was a split-second decision to motion for him to get closer, reaching out and pulling him closer to her, his knees bearing down on the bed on either side of Lu's outstretched legs. Andy's back was arching as she got closer and closer to the edge, her moans getting muffled when she took him in her mouth, tasting the pre-cum on her tongue and swallowing around him. She could feel his hands in her hair as he busted his load inside of her; not lasting nearly as long as she remembered.

Her spit combined with his cum leaked onto Lu's belly as both she and Andy came together.

* * *

''I said for him to watch,'' Lu shouted as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Andy wasn't sure what to say. She distinctly remembered that the first time Lu had brought it up she had mentioned for him to join, in comparison with that sucking his dick for not even half a minute seemed fairly innocent. ''Lu it's not that big a deal. He was masturbating to us having sex and I helped him a little-''

''Really?'' Lu asked, her eyebrows raised higher than Andy had previously thought possible. ''Not that big a deal? You would be comfortable telling Milo about it?''

''Milo has nothing to do with this,'' Andy said, ''It was you who said that our relationships had to remain separate, what happened tonight only pertains to our relationship.''

''Oh please, you wouldn't have asked him if it was okay if you believed that,'' Lu said as she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She could see Andy starting to talk back and put her hand up, not wanting to get into a full-blown argument when they both had to get up in less than six hours. ''Look, it's one thing to have Milo be there-''

Andy could tell where this was going, ''Nick being there was your idea, Lu. And since when do you have a problem with Milo? I told you that if you didn't want him to around,'' she quickly corrected herself, ''To not have him be there when we're intimate, then all you had to do was say so.''

Lu gave Andy a look before walking away, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her.

Andy barged in anyway, giving Lu a questioning look, ''Did I not say that?''

Lu cocked her head, ''We both know that's not true,'' she said. When Andy didn't respond she continued, ''If Milo isn't okay with us being together then you wouldn't be with me, and the only thing he gets out of us being together is that he gets to watch us, gets to join in whenever he wants because you'll never say no to him. Not when it comes to sex.''

Andy was quick to fire back, wanting to say that she would still be with Lu even if Milo wasn't okay with it, but with each passing second she was less sure of that. It reminded her of Milo saying that she needed to make any kind of commitment to Lu, why hadn't she? Because she was too afraid to lose Milo?

Every time Lu came up Milo was difficult to gauge. He flipped back and forth between pushing Andy to make strides in her relationship with Lu and being seemingly unhappy about having Lu around.

Lu could see how conflicted Andy was and hated it. She had hoped that Andy would immediately refute Lu's doubts and show her that that wasn't the case, but that seemed less likely with each passing second.

She put her hand on Andy's arm, guiding her back to the door and pushing her out into the hallway, ''I'll see you at work tomorrow,'' she said softly before closing the door and falling face down onto her bed, tears streaming down her face.


	37. The Test

Guest, thank you so much for your input! I know that you've thanked me in the past for including it but honestly I love every review you've left and will alway consider them when I'm writing! :)

* * *

 ****— **The Test** —

* * *

Andy was jolted awake when Lu stepped over her outstretched legs on her way to the bathroom. She could see through the window that it was still dark outside and wondered what time it was. She yawned as she pondered what to do. It hadn't felt right to leave with Lu crying and she wasn't sure how long she had sat on the floor outside her bedroom before dozing off.

''Just go home,'' Lu muttered on her way back to her bedroom. Her eyes were still puffy and she was still upset although her anger had somewhat subsided due to her exhaustion. She had watched the minutes tick away on her alarm clock as she struggled to fall asleep.

She was desperate to resolve this problem with Andy but knew there was no easy way to fix it. What had happened with Nick was just a symptom of a deeper problem; a problem that wouldn't be solved by a 5-minute fight.

Lu had left the door ajar and Andy got up and leaned in the doorway, watching Lu as she slipped back between the covers, ''I'm not leaving here until we talk about this,'' she said. Her parents had always taught her that you should never go to bed angry and—even though her marriage to Les had taught her that getting a good night's sleep went a long way in resolving arguments—she knew that if she left now their relationship would never truly be the same again.

Lu groaned. ''Andy, we have to get up in three hours, I'm not in the mood for this,'' she said as she turned over, facing away from Andy. She knew that Andy wasn't going to let this go easily, ''We'll talk about this tomorrow.''

* * *

It had been a few weeks and just as Andy had suspected things hadn't been fully resolved yet, not even close. At the end of the day, all it came down to was that Lu was in no way on equal footing with Milo and Andy didn't have a way to fix that. There had been questions from both her daughters as well as Milo, asking what was going on, and she knew that Lu had talked to Lana about some of it.

She had reached the point where she was considering breaking off her engagement to Milo just to show how serious she was about it as that seemed to be the only thing that could make that clear. Of course, that had been the moment that two lines had appeared on her pregnancy test.

They had been trying and she had already had dreams about their future child, she had hoped to get pregnant and been disappointed when test after test came back negative. Right at the moment that she didn't want to get pregnant, when she wanted to first figure out how to configure both relationships, that was when it had finally taken. Just as expected once they finally put in some effort it hadn't taken long.

Milo lifted his head from the pillow when Andy came back in from the bathroom. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner, trying to downplay his nervousness with a smile, ''So?'' He stood up from the bed, too anxious to see for himself what the test said.

Andy gave him a quick smile, ''Positive,'' she said as she handed him the test. She knew that making Milo think she was anything less than thrilled about this news would be sending him the wrong message, would just cause an argument. He wasn't entirely in on what had been going in her relationship with Lu but he had, of course, noticed something was up—it wasn't exactly easy to hide.

''Oh my god…'' Milo looked down at the test in amazement, in disbelief that this wish had finally come true. He tried to ignore the look on Andy's face as he hugged her, squeezing her tightly as he tried to process this news. He was going to be a father. Finally. He had always known deep down that he wanted to be a father one day, he had had to let that go when Tookie didn't want kids and for a long time it didn't look like it was going to happen with Andy either, but now… He wasn't sure what to say. He blinked the tears that had welled up in his eyes away, the look on Andy's face had a very sobering effect. He knew that for Andy it was somewhat of a difficult time for this to happen—even if she wouldn't talk about what was going on—but couldn't help that his happiness showed on his face. He massaged her shoulder with one hand as he stared at the test, ''This is a good thing,'' he told her, trying to convince her, but it was more so filling with him doubt than comforting her, ''Right?''

Andy looked back at him, smiling a bit wider now though it didn't reach her eyes, ''Right.''

He took a deep breath as he looked down at the test, finding it difficult to look away from the two bright as day lines on it, ''Did you tell Lu you were going to-''

Andy shook her head before he could even finish his question, ''No.'' She had been taking her time to resolve what had been going on but she knew that now that a baby was being thrown into the mix they had to agree on how to move forward if there even was a way to move forward after what had gone down. She sat back down on the bed, burying her face in her hands.

''When are you going to tell her?'' He asked as he sat down next to her, his hand softly rubbing her arm. When she didn't respond he looked away, ''Andy, you have to talk to her sometime.''

It just reminded her of how much they had been avoiding each other, neither of them even knowing what to say one another. She could feel tears in her eyes, ''I know, I know,'' she said, ''I just-'' She didn't know what to say. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, her head lying down on his shoulder. She breathed in his scent and wiped her tears on his shirt, ''I'll talk to her soon,'' she said as she got up, throwing the test in the trash can.

''Maybe you should hold off on that for a little while,'' Milo said, ''I mean, telling her about the baby.''

Andy turned to him with a frown. Even despite everything she still felt that Lu had a right to know about it, especially since that would most likely influence how she wanted to move forward in their relationship. ''What makes you say that?''

''Tell me something, did you tell her we were trying for a baby?'' Milo asked as he cocked his head.

Andy hesitated; she had regretted not saying anything. ''No.''

Milo took this in with a deep breath. ''Andy, I know she's important to you and you want your relationship to work out, but if things remain like this…''

''What are you saying?''

Milo chose his words carefully, ''You've said it yourself that it's important to make sure that there's stability when you bring a child into the world,'' he said, ''If your relationship keeps being this shaky then wouldn't it be better not to have her around… like that, as your… girlfriend.''

Andy squared her shoulders and crossed her arms, ''Do you not want her around?''

''I didn't say that,'' Milo responded quickly, ''It's just that if she's going to be in my child's life, in our child's life… then I think you need to be sure that you're both in this for the long haul; maybe include her when we're talking about plans for the future.''

Andy frowned, ''I include her.''

''You just said you didn't tell her we were trying for a baby,'' Milo backfired. He could tell on her face that she wasn't too pleased with him right now.

''It's rather hard to do that when I need to make sure you're okay with her constantly,'' Andy said, thinking back to what she had told Lu about Milo being hot and cold. ''One minute you're asking me why I don't ask her to move in and the next minute you sound like you don't want her around at all.''

Milo softened his voice somewhat, ''I thought I made it clear that I don't want to play a part in your relationship like that,'' he said, ''You do what you want to do with her, you two decide that, and the two of us decide what we do in our relationship.''

Andy swallowed hard, ''Are you only okay with us being together because I let you be there when we have sex?'' It had plagued her since Lu had brought it up and she just had to ask.

Milo's jaw dropped and he took a moment to recover, ''Come here,'' he said. When Andy didn't move he sighed, ''Come here,'' he repeated, patting the bed next to him. When she sat down, still looking a bit defensive, he finally spoke. ''Look, I'm not gonna lie, I do enjoy that,'' he said, ignoring her rolling her eyes, ''But that's not why. I can see that she makes you happy, I saw that before even that first time in your office,'' he looked down his hands, ''There's something so natural in the way you two are around each other, like you're supposed to be together.''

''And you're okay with that?'' Andy asked.

''As long as you're happy, yeah I am.''

* * *

Andy softly knocked on Lu's open office door. It was after hours, the lights in Lu's office being the only ones still on. She could see Lu look up from the files on her desk, looking pretty tired. ''May I come in?'' She asked, already stepping inside, albeit slowly.

Lu shrugged, ''Sure.'' At this time of the day she didn't have the energy to argue. Still, it was strange that Andy had come to her; Lu hadn't expected her to, ''What's up?''

Andy decided to just come right out and say it, ''I'm pregnant.'' She couldn't take her eyes off Lu. Not just because they were in relatively close proximity for the first time in what felt like forever, but also because she was dying to know what Lu thought about this news. Her face didn't give too much away though.

For a second Lu felt like she couldn't breathe. She looked away, giving a resigned nod, ''Okay. That's that then,'' she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Andy frowned; she had only barely been able to hear what Lu had said, ''What's what?''

Lu tried to hide her emotions but knew that Andy would see right through her. She shrugged, trying to keep up a façade of indifference, ''Come on, who are we kidding? Really? It was a long shot for our relationship to even survive, and after what went down a few weeks ago,'' she had already long gotten over what Andy and Nick had done, but for how Andy had treated her… that was a different story.

''Are you saying you want to break up?'' Andy asked, even despite everything still surprised.

Lu thought it was rather obvious, ''I remember what you said, okay?'' She said, getting cut off by Andy before she could continue.

''What did I say?''

''That you didn't want to have a baby with Milo as long as we were together,'' Lu said. It had been months since it had been brought up, but the words were still edged in her brain, instinctually knowing that sooner or later it would come up. ''We've been avoiding each other for weeks and now that you're pregnant there's no reason for us to even try to fix it anymore.''

''Lu, that was months ago,'' Andy said. She barely even remembered that conversation, and now felt even worse for not discussing this with Lu earlier. She could see Lu shrug, obviously not getting the point, ''I can't change my mind?''

''Did you?'' Lu asked, ''We're a mess and-''

''And that's my fault,'' Andy said, plain and simple. ''I shouldn't have done what I did with Nick, and I should have worked harder to show you that I love you and want to be with you because I do. No matter what Milo or anyone else thinks.'' She reached across Lu's desk for her hand, wanting more than anything to be close with her. Andy tried not to let it sting that it only caused Lu to lean back farther into her chair, ''I should've included you in talks about our future, with Milo as well; about us getting married, him moving in, having a baby…''

''You asked for my blessing for you two getting married-''

''After I said yes.''

''Still, I was more than fine with it,'' Lu said, not having any trouble with that. ''You could've given me a heads up about Milo moving in but it was only a matter of time after you two got engaged. And even despite you not being exactly careful about trying to avoid this, it wasn't like you planned to get pregnant,'' Lu said, feeling like it was a non-issue. It didn't weigh as heavily on her as the other stuff did. She could see the look on Andy's face change and got a knot in the pit of her stomach, ''You didn't plan for this, did you?''

Andy looked down at her hands. ''We've been trying for a few months,'' she said, looking up and back at Lu, knowing that she needed to be honest and face the consequences no matter what they might be. She could see the pain on Lu's face and hated herself for causing it, ''Lu, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would happen this fast, I thought I had more time to tell you.''

Lu shook her head, not wanting to hear it, too tired of it. She blamed herself; with how Andy had been in the past she should've known better. ''You should've told me before you even started trying,'' she said, tears in her eyes, unable to hide them anymore. ''You didn't even have to ask me if I was okay with it, you just had to let me know. Given me a heads up that you've been talking about it, all it would've taken was a quick hey, we're fucking with a purpose now and that would've been enough.''

Andy ignored Lu's crude words. ''You're right I should've told you,'' she said, she couldn't refute that. Lu had her face buried in her hands, her elbows resting on her desk. ''But I'm telling you now, and I'm telling you that I love you, and I want to be with you… I want you in my life, and I want you to be in this child's life.'' Her hand was resting on her belly as she waited for Lu's reaction, feeling her insides sink farther with every passing second.

Lu pushed her hair away from her face and looked up at the ceiling, blinking fast to get rid of the tears. Her sleeves gripped in her tight fists as she dabbed away her already fallen tears with her wrist. She finally looked back at Andy, trying to make up her mind on what to say, knowing that this wasn't going to be easy. ''You make it really difficult for me to love you sometimes-''

''I'm sorry,'' Andy said, on the one hand she wanted to know what Lu was going to say but on the other hand she could feel where this was going and she could feel her heartbreaking.

Lu's first instinct was to say that it was okay but she stopped herself before she could, knowing that she would only be saying it to make Andy feel better because of the pain radiating from her face, not because she meant it. She decided to just let it lie. ''Andy, I do love you, but this isn't working.'' She took a deep breath, ''I think that maybe we should take some time apart to figure out where this is going and what we both want, whether that means more commitment or breaking up…''

Andy felt it was time to cut in, ''I told Milo that I want to be with you no matter what he thinks about it, the baby doesn't change that. I want to commit to you.''

Lu had wanted Andy to say that to Milo all this time but felt that it didn't matter as much in this particular moment, she swallowed hard knowing that she had to be truthful, ''I'm not sure I want that with you anymore,'' she said quietly.

Andy bit her lip to hold back her tears. She could see that Lu was struggling with this as much as she was and wanted to comfort her but knew that wasn't the right move, not right now.

''Being with you has been great at times but now it just hurts. I told you that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life playing second fiddle to Milo before we even got together and all this time that's all I've been. I need some time away from you to figure out if there's a way in which we can be together, before the baby is here.''

Andy resigned herself; she gave Lu a quick nod and stood up, needing some room to breathe. She felt like she couldn't breathe and knew it wouldn't be fair to Lu to start crying as it had all been her own doing. She was halfway to the door when Lu spoke up.

''Andy, I'm not breaking up with you, I just think this is best for now.''


	38. The Match

There are numerous reason why this took as long as it did, but I don't want to bore you to death with it, none of them are exactly good and I need to remind myself that tinkering with my fanfiction profile is not the same as writing fanfiction.

Also, guest (guests? There are two of you now? :O), when it comes to reviews the longer the better lol. Have loved reading all of your thoughts about the story, your feelings about how the characters are doing and what they're going through, and providing a direction in which to take this story. I couldn't thank you enough for that! :*

* * *

 **—The Match—**

* * *

''What do you think?'' Andy asked as she walked farther into the room, Lu trailing behind her.

It had been a few weeks since they had broken up and Andy had finally convinced Lu to come over so they could discuss what was going on between them. The only way to combat the awkwardness between them for Andy had been to show Lu the work they had been doing on the baby's room. Milo had been having a difficult time containing his excitement over the impending arrival, doing most of the work—or actually, hiring people to do most of the work, Andy wasn't sure he had ever even held a paint brush—whilst letting Andy focus on other things.

Lu picked up some of the swatches lying on the dresser—the only piece of furniture in the room. ''Blue, pink, yellow?'' She asked, holding them up. ''Are you gonna find out what you're having?''

''Milo really wants to, I'd rather be surprised,'' Andy said, taking the swatches and casting a last quick glance on them before putting them away. ''Milo's hoping for a girl.'' He had actually already taken to referring to the baby as ''she''. She could see the somewhat surprised look on Lu's face, ''He's never spent much time around children and he gets along with the girls so well…''

Lu nodded, ''So how did the girls react?'' She still felt uncomfortable around Andy but she had to admit that she had missed this; just talking to each other like nothing had ever happened between them, like they didn't have the history that they did.

Andy hesitated, ''They don't know yet,'' she admitted, ''I want to wait until I'm a bit further along, don't want to risk them getting all excited and then miscarrying,'' she said. It was the first time she had even vaguely hinted how worried she was about that. In general, but especially at the age she now was, it was such a huge risk… Milo had been looking forward to them having a baby and she didn't want to let him down, she didn't want to have to worry about the same thing happening with her daughters.

Lu frowned with a vague smile, ''They haven't noticed-'' she motioned at the room around her as it looked like quite some work had been done on it already, ''All this.''

''I'm pretty sure Lizzy just assumes that Milo is starting some kind of project,'' Andy said, looking away as she ran her hand over the dresser, the same one that had stood in both Lizzy and Jesse's nurseries many years ago.

Lu looked at Andy closely, sensing something was up but unsure if it was her place to bring it up, ''Andy?'' She finally looked back at Lu, ''What's going on?''

She took a sharp breath, ''I think one of the reasons I haven't rushed to tell them about the baby is…'' she was looking for the right words, ''They've been asking about you a lot, about what's been going on, I don't know what to tell them.''

''What does our relationship have to do with the baby?'' Lu asked, genuinely confused. Yes, Andy had said that she wanted her to be a part of the baby's life, but whether they were or weren't together she would still in one way or another be involved in the baby's life considering how close they were—or had been at least.

Andy shook her head in response. She wanted Lu to be in this child's life, she had already said that, but she hadn't mentioned how. She didn't even know in what way, she wanted to let Lu decide for herself how she was going to be involved. If it was so far from Lu's mind that she couldn't even imagine what their relationship had to do with the baby… it might be best to just not bring it up at all. At least not now. Not now when—even despite Lu saying that they hadn't broken up, just taking some time apart—they had barely spoken in weeks. They weren't officially broken up but as good as.

Andy could feel her stomach rumble and decided that it was a better idea to just switch the subject than to dwell on this. ''Do you want to join us for dinner?'' She asked, walking over to the door, letting Lu go in front of her into the hallway before closing the door behind her.

Lu leaned against the opposite wall for a second, trying to find the right words to tell Andy this. She noticed the smell of paint coming from the room down the hall; the guestroom, Kayla's old room. Before Andy could stop her she had already made her way inside, noticing the fresh coat of paint of walls, a sheet on the floor to protect the hardwood floor. ''What's going on in here?'' She asked, being careful not to step on the curtains which lay in a bundle on the floor.

''Just a little redecorating,'' Andy said. She hesitated before continuing, not sure if Lu wanted to hear this at all. ''I figured that if you do decide to move in one day I should probably freshen the whole place up a bit,'' she said rather quickly, wanting to get it all out before changing her mind, not meeting Lu's gaze at all.

''You want me to move in?'' Lu asked, feeling surprised despite herself.

''I want it to be an option,'' Andy said, ''I know that we're as good as broken up and that even when-'' she stopped herself, not wanting to give Lu the wrong idea, '' _if_ we do get back together you might not want to move in at all, but you should know that I'm open to the idea if you are.'' Every single word had been chosen carefully, and she knew it showed by how slowly the whole sentence had come out, but she didn't want to risk souring their relationship even more.

Lu stared at Andy quietly, unsure of what to say, ''I'm not ready to talk about that yet,'' she said quietly.

Andy noticed the tone in which Lu had spoken and frowned at her, ''Are you mad at me?''

Lu crossed her arms, hesitant to accuse Andy of anything but needing to get it out, ''Are you just bringing this up so I'll get back together with you?'' She asked, ''For months I've wanted this and every time you brushed it off like it wasn't even an option, and you're bringing this up now?''

''Lu we've been together for less than a year,'' Andy said, ''You mention time and time again that our relationship isn't or wasn't equal to what Milo and I have and the kind of steps we are taking in our relationship but he and I have been together for years. I'm only bringing this up now because…'' she let out a deep breath, making up the reasons as she was going, ''Because we've been together long enough that I think it might last, and I want you to raise this child with us, and…'' she looked at Lu and it hit her how much she had missed her these past couple of weeks, ''and I just want you here.''

''You can't just say all of this, make this big gesture and think it makes it all okay,'' Lu said, trying not to let Andy's words get to her. ''I'm not ready for,'' she looked around the room, her first instinct had been to say she wasn't ready to move in but she changed her mind, ''I'm not ready to get back together.''

Andy took a moment so her emotions wouldn't show in her voice, ''Okay, fine. Take all the time you need,'' she said though it was rather incongruent with the way she had said it. She wanted them to fix it, to get back together and move past this rough patch but she knew pushing Lu wouldn't work. ''Is there anything I can do?''

Lu threw her head back, ''Andy…'' she dragged out her name. She knew that Andy didn't mean it in that way but she still felt kind of pressured to give their relationship another shot.

''What?'' Andy asked, surprised by Lu's seemingly sudden frustration. ''I miss you,'' she said, throwing her arms up, ''And… I want to do whatever I can.''

Lu looked down, ''I just don't think I want to try this again until I have some kind of proof that this time it'll be different, that you'll actually tell me what's going on with you every once in a while.''

''How am I supposed to prove that to you when we're not together?'' Andy asked, now feeling frustrated as well. ''How can I show you that when you'll barely talk to me?''

Lu had tears in her eyes, ''I don't know, okay? I have no idea,'' she was getting more emotional and didn't feel like talking about this anymore, ''Maybe the next time you have a baby you can tell me when you and Milo start trying,'' she sniped before storming past Andy.

Andy caught Lu's arm, ''Lu, come on…'' Lu was still turned away from Andy but was no longer trying to leave, ''Don't leave,'' when Lu didn't respond she sighed, ''I want us to talk about this, I want you to tell me what I can do.''

Lu finally turned back, ''I'm tired of spelling out what you need to do, you figure it out. Besides, I have a date to get ready for.'' She pulled her arm free from Andy's grasp and left without saying another word.

* * *

Lu hesitantly pushed open the stall door just in time to see Andy wipe off her mouth and sit back, leaning against the cold tile wall. ''You feeling okay?'' Lu asked, leaning in the door frame. Just because she was still upset with Andy didn't mean she didn't care, especially after watching how pale and nauseous Andy had looked all morning.

''Just great,'' Andy said sarcastically, ''Morning sickness hit me full force this morning.'' It had been the smell of the lunch being served in the cafeteria that had finally pushed her over the edge. She sat in silence for a few moments, her head leaning back against the wall, eyes closed, as she tried to divert her mind away from her upset stomach. It was a rather futile attempt.

Lu crouched down and rubbed Andy's back as she threw up again, sliding down to the floor and sitting across from Andy when she was done. ''How far along are you?'' She asked, not knowing what else to say. Part of her wanted to apologize for the previous day but she knew she wasn't ready for that.

''6 weeks, couple of days,'' Andy said, cradling her stomach. ''How was your date last night?'' It had completely caught her off guard when Lu had said that, hadn't expected her to want to move on that quickly.

Lu shrugged dismissively. ''It was fine,'' she said, feeling the need to explain herself, ''My neighbor hung up some shelves for me and I said that I owed him a favor and he wanted to go out for dinner, it was… I don't even like him as anything more than a friend.'' It wasn't the complete truth. He was handsome, he was funny… it had been far from the worst first date she had ever had, but she couldn't imagine starting anything with him and didn't want to kill off what was left of her and Andy's relationship.

A wave of relief washed over Andy. It had kept her up all night; not wanting to think about Lu with anyone else had only made it more prominent in her mind. ''You're not going to see him again?'' Andy asked, needing to know for sure.

Lu took a deep breath. He had asked, she hadn't answered. Sure, that counted as an answer to some people but she hadn't made up her mind.

Andy sensed Lu's hesitancy, ''It's fine if you do like him,'' she said, willing to make more allowances now if need be, ''I mean, I'm with Milo, if you want to be with whatever-his-name-is it would be pretty hypocritical of me to try and stop you,'' Andy said, though she didn't look entirely happy about the prospect.

Even despite Andy's words Lu was glad to be excused from answering when she threw up again. She pulled Andy into her arms, burying her face into Andy's hair. She put one of her hands on Andy's belly—trying to imagine the life growing inside, and she could feel Andy's hands move over hers—her other hand softly stroking Andy's hair.

''So when are you going to tell the girls about the baby?'' Lu asked. She remembered what Andy had said the day before that had made her wonder, ''Are you really that concerned with miscarrying?'' She knew that it was a pretty substantial risk in Andy's case but she couldn't imagine that keeping Andy from telling her own daughters. When Andy didn't respond right away Lu frowned, ''What is it? Don't tell me you've been hiding a miscarriage from me as well,'' she knew it was somewhat harsh but considering all the other things Andy had been keeping from her…

''What? No,'' Andy said, shaking her head, trying to find a way to put her thoughts and feelings into words in a way that made it sound a bit less nonsensical than it was. ''You know about the abortion I had,'' she started, ''At the time I told myself that I had it because I didn't want any more children, that it had nothing to do with it being Nick's,'' she could feel Lu stiffen behind her at the mention of his name, ''I guess I just…''

Lu tried to mentally shake off her reaction to Nick's name before replying to Andy, ''You feel guilty for now having a baby with Milo?'' She asked.

''I guess.''

''Andy, you have every right to decide who you want to have a baby with, and when,'' _although it would be nice if you had given me a heads up_ , she added in her head, ''And just because you had an abortion, it doesn't increase the chance of you having a miscarriage.''

''I just don't want to disappoint Milo,'' Andy said, ''He has been looking forward to this for so long, if anything happens…'' she could still remember how upset Nick had been with her for the abortion and though she knew this was different, it still played inside her head. ''I don't want to risk losing him, I already have once and…'' she shook her head. She shifted on the floor so she sat back against the door—stretching her back a little bit—, her legs over Lu's, and she let out a sigh, ''I can't risk losing him like I have you,'' she said, frowning when she saw the expression on Lu's face change, ''What is it?''

''You realize this is the most open you've been with me in months?'' Lu asked, her feelings showing in her voice, ''All this time I've been asking you to open up to me and you don't tell me anything, not even that you're planning on having a baby, and now-''

''Lu…''

''Why did it have to take me breaking up with you to get you to open up to me?'' Lu asked. She had known this was going to happen. Or rather, she had feared it would, feeling that it was just further prove that they were better off as friends than lovers. She didn't know why it seemed to be such a struggle for Andy to open up to her when they were together, and was partially glad that now at last she finally got some inside into Andy's psyche, but if she had just done that when they were still together… they could have avoided this whole thing; they wouldn't have to sit on the cold, tile floor of some hospital bathroom stall, and Lu wouldn't have to sleep alone at night, reaching out for Andy in the middle of the night before realizing she wasn't there.

''I don't know,'' Andy said quietly. It was a bit of a lie. When she really thought long and hard about it she was sure she could come up with an explanation, an explanation that would be hard to talk about but an explanation nonetheless.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Lu knowing she had gone too far when she saw a tear roll down Andy's cheek. Andy was the first one to open her mouth, ''I want to move past this,'' she said, hastily wiping the tear—that she knew Lu was staring at—away. ''Just tell me what it is I can do and I'll do it, I'll do whatever. But I need you to tell me because right now I truly don't know what else I _can_ do.''

''What are you talking about?'' Lu asked, genuinely surprised that Andy still didn't seem to get it and somewhat upset as she felt she had spelled it out for Andy more than once. ''Don't sleep with other people.'' Heave emphasis on each and every word. Yes, Milo was the exception but she didn't need to mention it. ''You and Milo broke up because we were sleeping together without his… permission, I didn't think you'd make the same mistake twice.'' Her hands dropped to the floor, ''All I ask is that you let me know what's going on in your life, that you don't sleep with anyone besides me and Milo, and that you just tell me—not even show, just tell me—that this,'' she motioned back and forth between the two of them,'' Is going somewhere. Is that really too much to ask?''

* * *

''Hey beautiful.''

Lu rolled her eyes though she couldn't help but smile and blush, ''You're too smooth, Julian.'' She had to admit that he did look pretty adorable standing there, a brown paper bag filled to the brim with groceries under each arm, his black hair somewhat messy, a goofy somewhat crooked grin as he walked towards her. ''What's up?'' She asked as she unlocked her apartment.

''Scored two tickets to a boxing match, Eckhart vs Davis, tomorrow night at the Boxhaven,'' he said, feeling more and more insecure the longer she stared at him, ''Wanna go?''

Lu couldn't help but smile at his shyness, ''You always take girls to a boxing match for a second date?'' She asked, ''You sure know how to make a girl feel special.'' It was something completely different from what she was used to with Jonas and Andy, but she didn't hate the idea.

Julian shrugged, ''I figured you seem like the kinda girl that likes a good fight, and you know… if the boxing glove fits…'' he bit the inside of his cheek, not wanting to risk saying the wrong thing and blowing the whole thing before it properly got started, although he felt his anxiety wane a bit when she smiled wider.

''I'd love to go.''


	39. The Anger

Thanks for the review!

* * *

 **—The Anger—**

* * *

Andy followed Lu into her office, watching her as she put down the vase full of pink roses she had just received down on her desk before taking her seat. Andy leaned in to smell them, overly fragrant. She raised her eyebrows at Lu, ''Do I wanna know?''

Lu found it difficult to look at Andy, after how open they had been with each other weeks before it had been radio silence ever since. The last thing she wanted to break that silence with was talking about the guy she had been seeing. ''They're from Julian.''

''Ah. The neighbor-man.'' Andy said, thinking back to what Lu had said about him. She had made it quite clear that she wasn't interested though Andy had been able to see in her eyes that that hadn't been entirely truthful. She had been able to see over the past few weeks that a bit of the spark Lu had had with Jonas when they first started going out had come back, and instinctively she had known. '''I had a good time last night'…'' she read of the card.

''He asked me out again; dinner and a fight.'' Lu still felt like she should explain even though she knew she didn't owe Andy anything. It had almost become a tradition in the few weeks they had been seeing each other. They both liked boxing matches—admittedly he a bit more than she did—and they had been enjoying each other's company.

Andy nodded slowly, ''Dinner and a fight,'' she repeated quietly, ''Sounds like the end of our relationship,'' she joked and was glad when Lu snorted. ''I thought you said you weren't interested in him.''

Lu shrugged dismissively. ''Yeah well he asked and I couldn't think of a reason why not,'' it wasn't entirely untruthful; she hadn't been able to think of a reason not go out with him, but it's not like she had tried particularly hard to think of one. It was nice to be with someone who seemed so interested, who wasn't at the same time trying to figure out their relationship with someone else. She liked being the center of his attention, ''It's not exactly like we've been…'' she wasn't sure how to put it. Hanging out? Talking? They hadn't been doing much of anything at all, not even a quick stolen glance at each other.

''Don't confuse me giving you space with me not being interested in you.'' Andy butted in, feeling the need to defend her actions. She knew she hadn't told Lu that she was giving her space and it could be misconstrued as general disinterest, but she had hoped Lu knew her better than that. ''You know my door is always open,'' she wasn't sure it would ever fully close anyway.

''How am I supposed to know that?'' Lu asked. She had hated the way Andy had basically been ignoring her, it made her crave Julian's attention even more. ''You don't tell me anything; you didn't even come to me for your nine-week echo.'' That had hurt. What she had told Andy had come true; they weren't just not together anymore, they were less to each other than before they had ever gotten together. Even when Andy first started working at the clinic and they were still getting to know each other she could've imagined Andy asking her for medical help, to now not even ask for that…

''I gave you the picture,'' Andy said defensively. It was true. They had gotten a picture of the sonogram and she had given a copy to Lu. It had felt a bit odd considering the distance between them but she had felt it necessary.

''You know that's not what I mean.'' Lu said, trying not to think about the sonogram picture in the top drawer of her desk. She had looked at it more than she wanted to admit, thinking both about the baby as well as why Andy hadn't come to her for it. ''You don't even trust me enough to be your doctor through this pregnancy-''

''It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't want you to be my doctor,'' Andy said, figuring it was obvious. From Lu's face she could tell it wasn't so obvious to her, ''Family shouldn't treat family.''

''We're not family.''

''Maybe not officially but that's how I think of you.'' That's how she had always thought of her, even before they got together. Nick, Peter, Kayla, Lana, even Dr. Jackson… it felt like one big dysfunctional family. And sure, before they had gotten together that hadn't stopped her from having Lu as her doctor but things were different now. ''It'd be like Milo being my doctor.''

Lu failed to see the comparison. ''Except we're not together anymore. And Milo is the baby's father.''

''And you're…'' Andy stopped herself from finishing her sentence, she could see clearly on Lu's face that what she was about to say hadn't even crossed Lu's mind. ''Sorry, I guess I thought wrong,'' she said, but Lu urged her to continue with a single look, ''I've been thinking of you as this baby's second mother, its third parent. You may not be able to see the connection between you and Milo but to me it feels the same.''

Lu slumped down a bit. ''Why didn't you tell me?'' She had known that Andy not coming to her had to do with more than just them breaking up and she had wracked her brain trying to figure out exactly why.

''I told you I wanted you to be involved.''

''You couldn't have been a bit more specific?'' Lu asked, feeling exasperated. This had been one of the culprits that ended their relationship; their—and in Lu's eyes mainly Andy's—inability to communicate.

''It- it doesn't matter,'' Andy said as she took a step back, her eyes on the flowers, ''You've clearly made your choice.''

* * *

''What is all this?'' Lu asked as Milo walked past her through the door, already putting down the take-out containers on the coffee table before she had even closed the apartment door.

''Chinese,'' Milo said as if that explained it all. He took off his coat, hanging it over the back of the couch and took a glance around the apartment; he had never actually been there before. When his eyes landed back on Lu he knew he should explain himself a bit more. ''I thought that maybe we should talk.''

''Did Andy put you up to this?'' Lu asked as she relaxed a little. He had completely caught her off guard and she still didn't know what to make of this. She walked over to the kitchen to get both of them a drink as her mind raced to try to figure out if it was a good idea at all to talk with him without Andy around.

''She doesn't know I'm here,'' Milo said. He had made up an excuse about needing to work late—something that was far from uncommon for him—and slipped out before she got the chance to ask too many questions.

''Okay… then why-?''

''I thought that maybe we should work on our friendship,'' he said. They had been friends when he and Andy were broken up and he was with Sandra, something that seemed like a lifetime ago now. ''So that when you and Andy get back together it will be… better.'' Better. Not necessarily good, but better.

''When?'' Lu repeated and she could see he was confused. '' _When_ Andy and I get back together.''

Milo shrugged, it was unspoken but…''It's kind of inevitable, isn't it?''

Lu thought about the man on the other side of the wall, the man she had spent the night with the night before. ''Wouldn't be too sure about that.'' She said quietly but loud enough for Milo to hear.

Milo frowned, ''Do you want to tell me about it?''

Lu found it difficult to believe that he thought her and Andy's reconciliation was so inevitable even after what had gone down. ''Do you even know why we broke up?'' She asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest. It wasn't the main thing she was angry about, but it was still one of them. ''Do you know what she and Nick did?''

''She told me,'' Milo said. He could see that Lu was surprised by this and he could see how angry she still was about it. Andy had somewhat downplayed that part. ''After she told me that you two broke up she told me what had happened.''

''But you're still together?'' Lu asked in disbelief that he would just take it. Yes, it had been more so about her and Andy's relationship than his with her but still. ''She told me that she had discussed it with you beforehand and that you weren't on-board with it.''

''Yeah, well… we are having a baby together after all,'' Milo said, knowing full well that even if that weren't the case he probably wouldn't have broken it off with her, not after they had broken up before. ''I'm punishing her in my own way,'' he said vaguely and he could see this piqued Lu's interest, ''Probably nothing you and she haven't done.''

* * *

Lu caught up to Andy and followed her to one of the tables in the cafeteria. ''Milo came by to see me last night,'' she said as she put down her tray and sat down. It took Andy a second longer as she was caught off guard by Lu's words.

''Why?''

''He wants us to be friends, so things won't be as contentious when we get back together,'' Lu said as she started eating. She could see the shock on Andy's face but still felt the need to check, ''Did you ask him to…?''

''No, of course not. I said I was giving you space, I meant it,'' Andy said. It would probably be a bit more effective now after their talk a few days prior where she had let Lu know that was what she was doing, but it was the only thing she had been able to think of that might work. ''All the space you need,'' she said, adding quietly, ''And if that space gets filled with Julian then so be it.''

Lu looked at Andy intently. She seemed genuine though not happy about it at all. ''You're cool with that?''

''I said I wanted you to be happy.'' Andy thought back to what Milo had said when he had come back. She had been supportive of him being with Sandra because that was what seemed to make him happy at the time; she had been supportive even though the thought of them together made it difficult to breathe. She felt the same way towards Lu, if Julian made her happy then she'd be supportive, even despite Lu not seeming a hundred percent happy with him. '' If your being happy happens to be with someone else… well, so be it.''

Lu could see the emotion Andy was trying to suppress spelled out on her face. ''You're not very convincing.''

Andy sighed. She didn't want to get emotional even though not being with Lu was slowly destroying her inside. ''You were supportive of me being with Milo, there's no reason I can't lend you the same courtesy.''

Lu could see that Andy was trying to uphold a professional façade despite what they were talking about. ''Because I loved you,'' she said, saying the words made her feel it even more intensely even now, ''Even when you couldn't admit that you had feelings for me, or admit that you could ever have feelings for me, I loved you like crazy.''

Andy tried to ignore the past tense of the word 'loved'. ''So why would that stop me now? You could support me and him because you loved me, I love you, so-''

Lu bit her lip though she knew she couldn't keep these thoughts inside. ''I just think that maybe my feelings for you were stronger than yours for me,'' Lu said, feeling it to be true. ''Maybe I loved you a bit more than you loved me…''

Andy's eyes shifted back from the food in front of her to Lu, ''Just because I wasn't the perfect girlfriend doesn't mean I loved you any less, and just because I'm not your girlfriend at all now,'' she swallowed back the emotion in her voice, ''That doesn't mean I don't still love you. And-''

''Okay, stop doing that.'' Lu's fingers were rubbing her temples. It was hard to watch Andy try to suppress her feelings on the subject matter after how she had been during their relationship.

Andy frowned, ''What am I doing?''

''You're being… too nice,'' Lu said. She knew it sounded wrong but it was the only way to put it. ''You're being supportive of me being with Julian, you're giving me space, you're telling me that you love me…'' you're telling me you see me as your baby's parent… Lu was trying to get her thoughts straight so that the bumbled up mess inside could be expressed at least somewhat coherently. ''When we were together you treated me…''

''I didn't treat you how you deserve to be treated. I know. I am trying to be better.'' Andy said. Their being broken up had given her plenty of time to reflect on their relationship and was putting things into focus for her, making it easier to see it from Lu's perspective. ''Are you seriously upset that I'm being nice to you?''

''I'm still mad at you,'' Lu blurted out. ''I'm mad for how you treated me, I'm mad that-'' the thought of Nick's cum on her belly was making her queasy and she didn't want to even say it, ''But it's hard to be mad when you're saying and doing all the right things.''

Andy seemed at a loss for words. ''I'm just trying to do what you asked me to.''

''Yeah, well stop it,'' Lu said, blinking away the tears forming in her eyes. ''I'm angry with you and I'm not ready to move past that yet.''

''So you want me to stop… doing what, exactly?'' Andy had meant it when she had said that she would do whatever, but she had never been more confused as to what Lu wanted from her. ''Stop being nice, being…''

''Just don't do anything, don't try to fix it or…'' Lu said, trying to calm herself down. ''Let me be mad at you for a while.'' She sighed and closed her eyes for a second, trying to move past this in her head. When she opened her eyes she could see Andy was upset with her and it pissed her off. ''What?''

''I just feel like I can't do anything right,'' Andy said as she stared at Lu. ''I treat you badly—in your eyes at least—, and you're mad at me. I'm nice to you and you're mad at me. You want me to prove to you that I can be a good girlfriend even though I'm not your girlfriend; you're with someone else…''

Lu hadn't expected this reaction. ''I don't know what to tell you.''

Andy stared Lu deep in the eyes, ''Just tell me this one thing,'' she could tell she had Lu's full attention. Even despite how much they were both hurting they still wanted to both move past this. ''Do you like Julian?'' Andy asked softly. ''Do you want to be with him, do you see a future with him? Or is there still something worth fighting for here?''

Lu blinked away the tears, taking a second to answer. ''I don't know.''

They sat in silence for a few moments, both needing to process what had just happened and neither knowing where to go from here.

''Lu!''

The mention of her name caused Lu to snap out of it and to finally look away from Andy. She knew that voice. She stood up and turned to face him, putting on a smile. ''Julian? What are you doing here?''

''I thought I'd surprise you,'' he said, kissing her cheek before pulling out the chair next to hers. He looked over at Andy, ''Hi, I'm Julian.'' He extended his hand.

This felt like just about the worst moment for the two of them to be meeting, but Lu knew she couldn't ignore this. ''J, this is… my partner, Andy.''


	40. The Desire

So.. this took a while, sorry about that! Shit happens in this chapter and I have no idea how I feel about any of it, but hope you enjoy! Ps a belated happy holidays and hope for a joyous new year :)

* * *

 **—The Desire** **—**

* * *

Lu closed her eyes for a second—wishing she had just taken her paperwork home instead of finishing it up at the clinic—when Andy walked in, ''What do you want?'' She asked, it had been too long a day with too much shit happening for her to have any kind of patience. They hadn't spoken much since their lunch with Julian days earlier. Lu could see that Andy was taken aback by Lu's phrasing and she sighed, ''What can I do for you?''

Andy took a deep breath, trying to shake off Lu's demeanor, hoping it wasn't personal whilst knowing full well it probably was. ''Milo and I's wedding is only a couple of weeks away,'' Andy said. She suddenly couldn't remember why this had seemed like a good idea in her head. She hesitated, ''I think that we should maybe look for a maid-of-honor dress for you.''

''You still want me to do that?'' Lu asked. They hadn't talked about the wedding in forever it seemed, and it had been even longer since they had discussed Lu being the maid-of-honor, it had completely slipped her mind but now that it had been brought back to the forefront she was surprised Andy still intended to go through with it. Lu wasn't so sure she wanted to be the maid-of-honor anymore, if she even went to the wedding at all. ''Isn't there someone else you can ask?''

Andy cocked her head to the side. ''Do you remember when I first started sleeping with-'' Andy bit her lip as she almost said Nick's name, it would have been the first time he had been brought up in weeks. She tried to shake it off and just continue, ''You told me to make friends with someone I haven't slept with.''

Lu needed a second longer to recover from that particular memory. When she did she looked back at Andy. ''Yeah…?''

Andy took a deep breath, ''Well, I work 60 hours a week, have two kids, and up until recently I was dating two people, so I haven't exactly had time for that.'' Andy could see a small smile on Lu's face at that explanation. ''Look, if you don't want to be my maid-of-honor, no worries, I completely understand…'' she took a deep breath.

Lu frowned at Andy, knowing there was more. ''But?''

Andy looked away, hoping that Lu could see how genuine she was. ''But I don't want anyone else.''

* * *

Milo closed the door behind him as he walked into their bedroom. He had just gotten home after getting paged to the hospital earlier that morning. Andy was rummaging through her clothes in their shared walk-in-closet and he glanced over at the clock, checking the time. ''I thought you'd have left already.''

Andy looked up, a dress in her hand. ''Not yet, still got about another hour,'' another stressful hour to kill. It was true that they still needed a dress for Lu to wear but honestly she had just been looking for any excuse for them to spend time together. She held up the dress to Milo. ''What do you think?''

''Looks nice,'' Milo said as he sat down on the bed, staring at Andy who was still in her underwear. ''Although I'm sure Lu wouldn't mind seeing you in something a bit more…''

''Something a bit sexier?'' Andy asked, knowing what Milo was always thinking of. ''This is about as sexy as it's gonna get without going out in just lingerie,'' she said as she put the dress on and checked herself in the mirror. It was nice but a little too dressy for just looking for a dress; it wasn't as if this was a date.

''Now there's an idea…'' Milo said, ignoring Andy rolling her eyes. ''So what's the plan? You're going to look at dresses and you're going to be supportive of her being with Julian and hope that'll bring her back?'' He had talked to Lu a few times and she had mentioned how supportive Andy was being and how surprised she had been by that.

''There's not much else I can do,'' Andy said, refraining from telling him that that same strategy—in his case being supportive of him being with Sandra—had worked on him. She took the dress off again and threw it on the bed, nothing seemed quite right.

''You're just going to act like you're completely okay with how things are between you two?'' Milo asked, unable to hide his surprise.

Andy turned back to him and sighed. ''Look, do I think that she moved on rather quickly? Yes, obviously. And yes, she is being way more difficult than she needs to be, but if I have to let her be until she's ready to talk about getting back together then that's what I'm gonna do.'' No matter how much it had killed her inside to see Lu and Julian together, she was gonna do whatever it took. She felt frustrated and sad but she didn't want to bother Milo with that.

He could tell, of course. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her close to him. She laid her head down on his shoulder and melted into the embrace. His hand was softly stroking her back and she had goose bumps. They hadn't had sex in what felt like way too long and with each passing day his scent was getting more and more intoxicating. She stood up, pushing him back onto the bed before climbing on top of him, kissing him for a few minutes before letting them roll them over so he was on top.

Ever since she had told Milo about what had happened with her, Lu, and Nick, their sex life had cooled down a lot, and she missed it. To now have Milo seemingly be into it, there was almost a sense of relief. ''Are you sure you want to do this?'' She asked him as he started kissing her neck. She could feel him against her thigh and rocked back against it, it all made her crave him even more; not just the sex but the intimacy. He had been so distant lately and she missed him even just cuddling up next to her, she hated that it took her getting emotional over her breakup with Lu for him to pull her close.

Milo pulled away, looking into her eyes. He could see how turned on she was and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel the same way, ''If you're okay with-''

Andy sighed, ''I don't even care about that right now,'' she said and she could feel him push her panties to the side. Her hands made their way down to the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head when he let her. His skin underneath was soft and she softly traced the trail of hair from his bellybutton down.

He rubbed her clit for a few seconds and could feel her push back against him, obviously wanting more. He could see her bite down on her lip; with how infrequent their lovemaking currently was even this relatively simple act was enough to turn her on, ''You sure about that?'' He asked, whispering into her ear.

''I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle,'' she said as she unzipped his slacks and slipped her hand inside his underwear, rubbing up and down his length. She could feel him grow harder in her hand and she stared up at Milo's face, his eyes closed as if he was concentrating. His hips were softly thrusting against her hand.

Milo noticed the smug look on her face when he opened his eyes again and he wanted nothing more than to fuck that look off her face. He pushed two fingers inside of her and was glad to find her already wet for him, it didn't take him long to find her g-spot and he could feel her nails dig into his shoulder. He picked up the pace a bit, knowing exactly how she liked it. He could feel her hand on his shoulder almost starting to push him away, a sure sign that she was close, wanting to push him away as it was getting to be too much and she was nearing the edge.

She whimpered at the loss of contact when he pulled his hand away, getting reminded of the frustrations she had been enduring for what seemed like forever. She could feel the mattress next to her dip as Milo leaned on his elbow. He kissed her before bringing his fingers to her mouth, spreading her own juices on her lips. She sucked his fingers into her mouth; her own taste had never bothered her. She could see him swallow hard and didn't have to guess to know what he was thinking of. The suggestive look on her face didn't win him over however and she was about to pout in disappointment when he finally slipped inside her.

It was so easy to forget how well their bodies fit together, how good he felt inside of her. Her hands cupped his face as she kissed him again, before moving them down to his shoulders, one of them going down even further and grabbing his butt. It was one of her favorite features of his'.

He was setting a slower tempo than usual and she crossed her ankles behind him, wanting to have him close. He buried his face in her neck and her hand moved up his back, softly stroking it. His lips were sucking on her neck and even though she was ticklish there she couldn't keep herself from moaning.

She closed her eyes and for just a moment it felt as though everything was okay between them, like there had been no fighting, or distance, or frustration on both their parts.

A tear slipped down her cheek and Milo looked up when he heard her sniffling—her body aching when he stopped moving.

''Are you okay?''

Andy was quick to brush the tears away and nodded, ''Yeah,'' she said breathlessly. Looking deep into his eyes she could still feel that flutter in her stomach she had had when they first started dating, ''I just love you so much,'' she said, chuckling slightly at the silliness of it. Of course she loved him, they were about to get married, she was carrying his baby for Christ's sake. Her hand moved to his face, her thumb stroking his cheek, ''And I missed this.''

She really had missed him, but even as he somewhat took that feeling away by pulling her close it just brought how much she missed Lu back to the forefront.

* * *

Lu stepped out of the dressing room, back in her regular clothes as she hadn't yet found a dress that she liked. She saw Andy looking at one of the dresses that had hung on the rack just outside the dressing room. ''That would look amazing on you.'' She said, it reminded Lu somewhat of a dress Andy had worn on one of their dates; the same deep red color that she knew looked so good on Andy. She could see that Andy didn't believe her, ''You could wear it to the wedding rehearsal.''

Andy eyed it again before looking back at Lu, already moving to hang it back as she said, ''Ehh I'm not sure.''

''Come on, just try it on,'' Lu was somewhat pushing Andy towards the dressing room she herself had just emerged from. She could sense Andy's resistance, ''It's not like you have to buy it if you don't want to.''

Andy's hesitance didn't wane and a blush crept up to her face, ''I mean, I would try it on, but…''

''But?''

Andy had a somewhat embarrassed smile on her face and leaned into Lu's body so she could whisper in her ear. ''I'm not wearing any underwear.'' When she pulled away she tried to hide her smirk at how Lu's breath hitched, how she bit her lip and tried to hide it. It made Andy's heart flutter, just happy to still have this effect on Lu. Milo had had the fun idea of no underwear after their rendezvous earlier and she couldn't have been more glad for it. She turned to put the dress back on the rack but Lu grabbed her by the front of her shirt, pulling Andy back to her until her body was flush with hers.

Andy could feel one of Lu's hands on her hip and their faces were just inches from each other. One of her hands made its way up to Lu's waist. She wanted nothing more than to just finally kiss her again but she knew she needed Lu to initiate it.

Lu's hand travelled up Andy's side until it was resting just beneath her breast. She knew she couldn't kiss her, not right now at least… but she could still have some fun. Lu rubbed Andy's nipple with her thumb before she had even made up her mind if she was going to do that, and she could hear Andy's breath hitch. She rested their foreheads together before pulling away. ''Sorry. I shouldn't have…''

Even though it had just been for a brief moment Andy missed the warmth of Lu pressed against her. She shook her head, ''It's okay, I didn't mind.''

''I did,'' Lu took a few steps away, turning her back to Andy.

Andy's eyes followed Lu but she knew it was best to keep her distance. The last thing she wanted to be doing was to push Lu in any direction. ''What is it? What's the problem?''

Lu bit her lip, ''I don't want to do this.''

Andy looked away; it wasn't the answer she had expected. She had seen the look in Lu's eyes and she knew that what she had just said was a lie. ''You don't?'' She asked, trying to prompt more of an answer from Lu. When no answer came she walked over to Lu, putting her hand on the small of her back and after a second Lu turned around. ''It certainly looked like it to me.''

Lu could still feel the warmth of Andy's hand on her back and wished it was still there. ''Andy… You don't get it. I want to do this. I _really_ really want to do this,'' her eyes moved from back and forth between Andy's eyes to her lips and it took everything in her to keep her from kissing Andy, ''But not here, not now, not when I'm with Julian.''

''Oh right, Julian…'' Andy said as she eyed some different dresses, not wanting to face Lu. ''Mickey 2.0.''

Lu turned back to Andy in confusion, not having any clue whatsoever what she was referring to. The mention of Mickey's name still took her breath away for a second; she hadn't heard it in far too long. ''What are you talking about?''

Andy thought it was rather obvious and she looked at Lu. ''Come on, Lu, I met him, I-''

Lu didn't listen to a word Andy had said. ''What does he have to do with Mickey?'' She insisted.

Andy shrugged. ''Honestly, the whole thing just reminded me of when you were with Jonas after you called him ''J'','' she said, starting with her first impression.

Lu quickly butted in. ''He's nothing like Jonas.''

''No, I know,'' Andy quickly said. It had been her first assumption but she had quickly learned that Julian was indeed nothing like Jonas, a much softer personality. ''He is exactly like Mickey though.'' She said and she could see that Lu didn't get it. ''You don't see it? Handsome, a bit scruffy, lanky, just a bit shy…''

Lu turned her back to Andy, rifling through the dresses again, ''Don't bring Mickey into our relationship drama,'' she said quietly.

''Lu, I didn't mean it like that,'' Andy said, walking over to Lu, wanting to make clear that she didn't mean anything by it, it had just been an observation, ''I just meant that I can see why you'd be attracted to him. It's like a second chance.''

''It's not,'' Lu said, ''Julian is not Mickey, he's nothing like him. He's nothing like Jonas, he's nothing like you. He is…''

''A distraction from what's been going on between us?'' Andy guessed.

''You can't give me more credit than that?'' Lu asked, hoping Andy didn't think that little of her, ''I don't go around using people like…'' she was desperately trying to come up with an example.

Andy cut her off. ''Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?''

''Andy, no.'' Lu quickly said, though she wasn't a hundred percent sure she truly believed it. ''I know that you don't just use people, at least not on purpose… But I hope you do also know that I don't date people unless I like them. I'm not dating Julian because he reminds me of Mickey, I'm dating him because we have fun together, and he likes me, and I like him…''

They were both silent for a moment. ''You like him?'' Andy asked, quickly clarifying, ''I mean, actually like him, as more than a friend?''

Lu looked down, ''I think so,'' she said quietly. She watched Andy walk away and sighed, ''Andy, what do you expect from me? Okay? No matter how much I hate that I do, I do love you. I just can't do anything with that right now-''

Andy looked down at Lu's lip, ''You could kiss me,'' she threw out, not understanding why Lu was torturing herself so much.

Lu stepped back, ''I can't.''

''Why not?''

''Because after everything that has happened, after how you treated me, I don't know what I am to you anymore.'' She didn't know exactly what they were and she didn't know what she wanted them to be either, every time she was close to making up her mind about getting back together or breaking up for good—which she as good as had done with her dating Julian—Andy would say something that would make her doubt everything. ''You keep saying that you want to be with me and that you take our relationship seriously, but you treat me as a… as a commodity. It makes it difficult for me to know how you truly feel, and if it's worth investing in this relationship.''

''Lu, you know how I feel; like you said, you know that I love you,'' Andy had her hand on her heart, wishing that she could find a way to show Lu how much she truly did love her, ''And I'm sorry if I haven't always made that clear, but I hope you do see that I'm trying to do better, to _be_ better.'' The look on Lu's face made her hesitant to go on. ''What?''

''The problem is that you loving me didn't keep you from treating me as if I'm inferior to Milo.'' Lu said, feeling frustrated.

''You know I don't see you like that.''

Lu ignored her, ''You loving me didn't keep you from sleeping with Nick.''

''Look, I made a mistake, I'll freely admit to that,'' Andy said, finding it difficult to keep her voice down, wondering how many more times she would have to repeat this, ''But I've told you I'm sorry countless times and at the end of the day that's all I can do, no matter how much I want to I can't go back in time and undo that.''

Lu waited impatiently for Andy to stop talking and threw her arms up; surprised that Andy was this dense. ''You loving me isn't keeping you from instantly becoming defensive instead of listening to what I'm saying and actually doing something about it.''

Lu had laid out to Andy exactly what she needed to do when/if they ever got back together, but Andy wasn't so sure what she could do right there in that moment. She decided that despite Lu's words it would be better to disregard what she was saying for now and instead focus on what seemed to be the underlying issue for Lu at the moment. ''I know that you're mad at me-''

''Of course I'm mad at you!'' Lu said. It had come out louder than expected and she took a moment to try to calm herself down so she could speak more quietly. ''I'm pissed off that I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and then you go and fuck it all up.'' She knew Andy was sorry but she didn't care in that moment. She didn't want to talk about how sorry Andy was, she didn't want to tell her for the millionth time what she wanted from her, and she especially didn't want Andy to repeat one more time that she loved her because in that moment Lu couldn't think of three words more useless than 'I love you'. Lu ran her hands through her hair, ''I know that you love me, I'm not bringing that into question, but right now your love is worth squat.''

Andy was taken aback by Lu's words and tried to ignore the tears welling up in her eyes as she felt Lu's intense gaze on her. She took a few steps away, trying to make up her mind if she was going to leave or not; if this was how Lu felt then nothing was going to bring them back together. In the end all she muttered was a quiet 'wow'.

Lu hesitated for a second, knowing she had screwed up. She took the few steps separating her and Andy and grabbed her hand, ''Unless you actually do something with it, I have got no use for your love for me.''

Andy pulled her hand away, ''I did want to do something with it, that's why I wanted us to get back together.''

Lu clenched her jaw, wishing Andy would stop bringing that back up. She had already said multiple times that she wasn't ready to discuss that possibility yet. ''I get that maybe you're not used to this because Milo is willing to just move past what you did because you two are having a baby together, but I can't just forgive and forget, I'm not like that.''

Andy frowned, ''What?'' She was genuinely confused until she remembered that Milo had gone to talk to Lu, he hadn't shared this with her though. ''Just because he's doing his best keeping up this façade that everything is fine between us, doesn't mean it is.''

''What're you talking about?'' Lu had hoped he would be honest with her as he seemed so hell-bent on them having a good relationship.

Andy sighed, wishing Lu had never brought this up. Just like Milo she did want them to have a nice friendship and she was worried she had just thrown a wrench into his plans. ''He's been mad at me since I told him about what happened with Nick. He barely talked to me for weeks, even stopped working on the baby room.'' At least their having sex just a few hours prior made it feel to Andy like things were heading in the right direction.

''He told me everything was fine,'' Lu said quietly.

''He probably didn't want to drag you into it.''

''I don't know,'' Lu said, finding it difficult to get into Milo's head, he had never been all that predictable. ''He made it sound like since you two are having a baby he's just letting it go.''

''At the very least it's making him stay.'' Andy said, looking down—it was much more important to her that they focus on repairing their own relationship than spending their time together discussing her and Milo.

''He would never leave you,'' Lu said, that being one of the few things she was actually sure about when it came to Milo. She remembered something he had said, ''He did say he was punishing you…''

Andy senses the slightly questioning tone in Lu's voice, ''I think you know exactly what that entails.''

Lu had a small smirk on her face. ''Until when?''

''Until after the wedding, at least,'' Andy said with a sigh.

Lu gave her a sympathetic smile, even she wouldn't make Andy wait that long. It was definitely very much deserved though in her eyes. ''Sounds like straight up torture.''

''You have no idea… the pregnancy hormones aren't making it any easier.'' Though Andy missed this form their relationship, being able to talk casually about quite intimate things, she wanted to change the subject. She held up a dress to Lu, ''How about this one? Jesse and Lizzy will be wearing light blue dresses, I think this would go well with them.''

Lu frowned as she felt the fabric, ''I don't know if blue is really my color.'' She took it from Andy and held it up to herself in the mirror, ''How do I look?''

Andy had a small smile on her face, ''Beautiful. As always.''

* * *

Lu was twisting the phone cord around with her fingers as she waited for Andy to pick up, getting more and more impatient with each passing second.

''Campbell.'' Andy said as she picked up, wishing she had number recognition. She could hear her parents talking with Milo in the living room as they were waiting for Milo's parents to show up. Andy's parents had dropped by on their way back to Washington from a trip up north and Andy and Milo had figured it was about time they told everybody about the baby.

''Hey,'' Lu said as she sat down on the couch, feeling a bit more relaxed just for the fact that Andy had picked up the phone.

''Lu? Are you okay?'' Andy asked. Even when they had been together it hadn't been too common for Lu to call her, and Andy couldn't imagine why she was calling now.

''Yeah, fine,'' Lu said, hesitating for a second, ''Do you want to meet up for dinner?'' She asked, throwing a quick glance at the clock. It had taken her a little while to work up the nerve to finally call and it was getting late.

Andy bit her lip, every part of her wanted to say yes but she couldn't leave. ''I can't. Not tonight. My parents are here, Milo's parents are on their way…''

Lu was 99% sure that Andy was being truthful and not just didn't want to see her, ''Okay… How about lunch tomorrow? We can go to Callowhills…?''

Andy thought about it for a second, she would have to cancel some things but she could make it work. ''Sure. Ehm… how about 1 p.m.?''

''Perfect.''

* * *

Andy rubbed her hands on her jeans, trying to get rid of her sweaty hands, getting more nervous by the second. She had shown up early, as per usual, and was waiting impatiently for Lu to show up. She had dressed down, not wanting to make any assumptions about why Lu had wanted to meet up.

It had gone well the previous night. Her parents, Milo's parents, her daughters—it had all worked out perfectly with Jesse being at home—they had all responded positively and it was a huge weight off her shoulders. Her parents had been iffy about Milo from the start and she couldn't imagine they would be thrilled about them having a baby out of wedlock—although they were getting married in less than a month—but they had responded quite positively. Andy hadn't missed the look on her mother's face when she asked how Lu was doing though.

Milo's mom had never been a fan of Andy but they seemed to be very excited at the prospect of a new grandbaby. And it hadn't hurt that all the other people being there had kept her daughters from asking questions about Lu.

Really. It couldn't have gone any better. The only thing Andy could ask for was to get back together with Lu. It was a few minutes past 1, and though Lu was usually pretty punctual this wasn't out of the ordinary for her. Andy wasn't going to let it stress her out.

No stress. No obsessing, wondering what Lu was going to say. Just relax and see what happens.

That was the mindset Andy kept until she finally left at 3, not even a glimpse of Lu.


	41. The Absence

I'm not even gonna bother explaining all the crazy stuff that's been going on in my life since it would take forever. Just hope this chapter is long enough with enough happening that it somewhat makes up for it.

* * *

 **—The Absence—**

* * *

Milo was waiting for Andy when she walked back in the door. She threw one look at him before making her way over to the kitchen with him hot on her heels. ''How did it go?'' Milo asked, though he could tell from her demeanor that it hadn't gone as planned.

''She didn't show.'' Andy said as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, her other hand clenched into a fist. She had sat in the diner for what seemed like an eternity, wracking her brain trying to figure out what had gone wrong. What had changed in the hours between they had spoken and the date they had made. Her head was hurting from trying not to break down during the ride home and she wanted to cry but was sick of crying over Lu. She was sick of trying her hardest to fix things between them and still get pushed away.

Milo wasn't sure what to say. He had fully expected for things to be resolved between them and wasn't sure what to make of this, ''I'm sorry,'' he said, grabbing Andy by the arm and pulling her in for a hug. He was surprised when Andy pulled away relatively quickly. ''So, what now?''

Andy shrugged, ''Nothing,'' she said. ''She didn't show up, didn't even bother to come up with a terrible excuse as to why she couldn't make it, so… I'm done.'' She downed the whole bottle of water in one go and could feel her hands shaking, as she threw the bottle away she bit her lip, turning her back to Milo 'cause she didn't want to face him. She knew that he would look at her with a look full of sympathy and she would just break.

Ever since they had broken up she had kept everything inside, so sure that it would all be okay, but now all the emotions were bubbling up all at once and she wasn't sure she could take it. The anger, the hurt, the sadness, how disappointed with herself she felt, how royally she had fucked up…

Milo wrapped his arms around her from behind, his head resting against hers. He could hear her draw in a shaky breath, could almost feel how much she restraining herself. He knew how much she wanted to yell at Lu, finally get out what she had been keeping in for weeks. Just fight with her until there was nothing left to fight about.

It was exactly how he had felt after he and Andy had broken up. He could still vividly remember the mix of emotions coming over him like a tsunami after they had called it quits. He knew he could never hate Andy but he had gotten pretty close then.

''It's going to be okay,'' he murmured into her hair.

Andy shook her head as the first tears started falling. She turned around in Milo's arms, needing him even closer, needed to hear his heartbeat as a reassurance that he was actually there, that he would always be there. She buried her face in his chest, trying desperately to draw a full breath. Her salty tears were leaving trails on his shirt and she was clenching the fabric so hard in her fists that her knuckles were white, just needing something to hang onto.

As she finally pulled away from Milo she quickly wiped the tears on her cheeks away, not wanting to spend anymore energy on it.

''Why don't you go take a bath or something huh?'' Milo suggested. Andy nodded and ran her hands through her hair, already picturing taking some pain reliever and going to bed. ''I'll go make dinner soon and-''

Andy interrupted him as she walked off, ''I'm not hungry.''

* * *

Andy walked into the clinic early the next morning. She didn't feel ready to face another week working alongside Lu and honestly couldn't imagine how their first conversation that week was going to go, or what their relationship looking forward would look like, but she wanted to get it all over as soon as possible. Even if it was just so she could start to move past it. For weeks she had been hanging on to the idea of them getting back together but now that that had been squashed she was just ready to move on.

She hadn't slept a wink and her eyes were red and puffy, but she was ready to put on her professional façade and work until she—even if it was just for a moment—forgot everything that was going on in her life. She was getting married in a few weeks. She was expecting a child. Andy knew that this was supposed to be the happiest time of her life but felt miserable.

''Good morning.'' It was a decent attempt at sounding cheerful but she knew that her co-workers would be able to look past it. Even despite her and Lu not officially coming out about their relationship it wasn't as if it had been a secret at all.

It was just Lana and Peter standing by the front desk, the waiting room was slowly filling up with people, and there were nurses finishing up their night shift.

Andy vaguely noticed Lana following her into her office and couldn't imagine what she—as Lu's best friend—had to say. She wondered if maybe Lu had confided in Lana about what was going on, if she had maybe sent Lana to say what she didn't or couldn't say to Andy.

''Hawkins.'' Andy acknowledged as she put down her briefcase and took off her coat.

''Did you talk to Lu? How is she?'' Lana asked, not bothering with formalities.

''I haven't talked to her,'' was Andy's simple response. It took a second for Lana's second question to sink in, '''How is she?'''

''She didn't call you?''

Andy looked back at Lana as she slipped into her white coat, her eyebrows knitted together. ''No,'' she said. She had gotten a couple of calls from an unknown number—that she hadn't felt like answering—but no calls or messages from Lu had shown up. ''Did you talk to her?'' She was starting to get worried, ''Did something happen?''

''Look, all Lana knows is that Lu called me last night asking for your number. Said something about that she had forgotten or lost her phone and that she needed to get in touch with you,'' Lana said. She thought back to Lu's call the previous evening, how frantic Lu had sounded. She could see the question on Andy's face, ''I gave her your cell number.''

''She didn't tell you anything else?'' Andy asked as she slowly sat down in her chair. Her anger at Lu was slowly fading and worry took its place. Her mind was racing trying to figure out what could possibly be going on but she was drawing a blank, and in that moment all she wanted was to hear Lu's voice.

* * *

It took a little while but eventually Andy did manage to get caught up in work and put Lu on the backburner. Every time something in her personal life was troubling her, work had been the best way to get her mind off of it and it didn't fail her this time either. It wasn't until lunch time that she sat back down at her desk and she didn't have a single thing to distract her.

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. A thousand different scenarios crossed her mind and she couldn't keep herself from thinking about the worst possible things that could have happened. She had been listening to Lana cancelling Lu's appointments all morning and with each mention of Lu's name, with each reminder that she had no idea what was going on, she got sicker and sicker with worry.

For a moment she considered going down to the cafeteria to get some lunch but knew she wouldn't be able to get anything down. She snapped out of her deep thoughts when her phone rang. Unknown number. She was just about to hang up before she remembered what Lana had told her.

She hesitantly accepted the call and brought the phone to her ear, not hearing anything on the other side. ''Campbell.'' It was a fairly formal greeting but even though she hoped it was Lu she wasn't too hopeful.

''Andy?!'' Lu asked, sighing a sigh of relief. ''Thank god I finally reached you; I've called you like a dozen times.'' She wasn't surprised when Andy didn't respond, she couldn't exactly blame her. ''Look, I'm sorry about yesterday-''

''What the hell happened?'' Andy asked, interrupting Lu. She wanted to hear a damn good excuse before deciding if she even wanted to continue this conversation. ''You called me, you asked me to come to lunch, and then you just don't show up?!''

''I know, I'm sorry,'' Lu said. ''I was getting ready to leave when I got a call from the hospital here, my grandmother, Isabel, she had a brain aneurysm and…'' she swallowed hard as she tried to make everything sound a bit more coherent, ''and it burst and…'' she slowly trailed off as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. The last 24 hours for her had been chaos and she couldn't get the image of how small her grandmother had looked in her hospital bed out of her mind, the sight of how much her grandmother had aged in the couple of years they hadn't seen each other had shocked her.

Andy slumped back in her chair, feeling bad for her small outburst. ''Lu…''

''I went straight to the airport, took the first flight out here,'' Lu said, ''I forgot my phone, and by the time I landed here it was already dinner time and I just… I called Marc to get Lana's number and then I called her to get your number and then when I finally had it…'' She thought back to the previous evening when every moment she could she tried to call Andy but there was no response every time.

''I didn't pick up,'' Andy filled in the blanks. She had been too tired the previous night to think of all the calls coming from an unknown number and now felt bad for not figuring it out sooner.

''Yeah,'' Lu said quietly as she leaned against the wall. She had slept at the hospital next to her grandmother's bed and was now sat in the waiting room. ''Andy…'' she felt it difficult to talk as her pent up emotions threatened to all spill out at once, ''I really did want to come yesterday, wanted to see you, talk to you…'' she wrapped one arm around herself and wished Andy was there to do that instead.

Andy felt a lump in her throat and knew she wouldn't be able to say much without crying. She blamed the pregnancy hormones despite knowing they had little to do with it. ''Me too.''

* * *

Andy stepped off the elevator into the dark corridor. Lu had explained how it would be at least a few weeks before she would come back, she first needed to see how things would go; whether her grandmother would be okay or pass away, she didn't know yet. Andy's first instinct was to fly out there too but knew that the clinic—one of the most important things in both her and Lu's life—could barely run with one doctor, she couldn't even imagine what would happen if they were both M.I.A..

She knocked on the apartment door and could hear some noises coming from inside before the door swung open to reveal Marc on the other side.

He seemed surprised to see her, ''Dr. Campbell?'' He hesitated for a second before taking a step back, silently inviting her inside. ''What're you doing here?''

''I talked to your mother earlier today; she told me what happened with Isabel. I wanted to see how you were doing,'' Andy said as she stood rather uncomfortably in the apartment, following Marc with her eyes as he went back to cooking dinner.

It had been a while since she had been in Lu's apartment and felt rather uncomfortable. Lu and she hadn't spent much time together at Lu's place, they usually just ended up back at Andy's house and with them being broken up Andy felt even more uncomfortable trying to make herself at home as Lu had invited her so many times to do. She knew that Julian lived just next door and was glad that she hadn't run into him in the hallway and couldn't help but wonder if he could hear her and Marc talking through the wall.

''I'm fine,'' Marc said with a shrug as he flipped his hamburger patty. ''I mean, I haven't seen her since she got sick a few years ago and I donated my bone marrow to her.'' That was the first time and last time he had seen her, the only other things he knew about her was stuff his mother had told him over the years.

''Did you talk to her today?'' Andy asked. She hadn't heard from Lu since their talk during her lunch break and wasn't sure if it was just because Lu knew Andy would be working or because all she wanted to do was apologize for the previous day and have that be it; no further calls necessary. With Lu not showing up she still had no idea where Lu now stood in regards to their relationship and didn't know if Lu would even call her anymore.

''Yeah she called me like an hour ago,'' Marc said as he grabbed a plate from the cupboard. ''She said that grandma isn't doing as well as they had expected and she asked me how the job search is going,'' it had been a brief conversation but he had been able to tell within seconds how taxing the whole ordeal was on his mother.

Andy nodded in acknowledgement, ''I'm surprised you didn't go with her,'' she said, sure that Lu could use the support.

Marc shrugged, ''She had already left when I came home yesterday.'' She hadn't even brought up him flying out there when they were on the phone the previous day. She had just briefly informed him what was going on and had asked for Lana's number.

''Maybe you should think about it,'' Andy urged him. She could tell that he was hesitant, ''Look, Marc, your grandmother is not doing well—she might make it, she might not. Maybe you should go so that if worse comes to worst you'll be able to say goodbye.''

Marc looked back at Andy as it slowly started to sink in what was going on. His mother hadn't been quite as upfront about the whole situation and he wasn't sure if it was because she wanted to shield him from that or because she didn't want to admit it to herself.

''I don't want you to have any regrets about this, and I'm sure your mom could use the support,'' Andy said as she watched him grab his utensils, seemingly deep in thought as he tried to process all of this. ''Look, if you need me to book you a flight or drive you to the airport or need anything else, just please let me know.''

* * *

It had taken a few days—and it had taken Isabel slipping into coma—for Marc to decide to go to Puerto Rico as well. Andy had been able to arrange everything and could relax a bit more now that she knew that Lu had Marc as support. It had been a little over two weeks and the situation seemed rather dire from what Andy had heard from Lana.

There had been radio silence from Lu since that first call and though Andy was eager to find out what was happening she had decided not to contact Lu. The last thing she wanted was for Lu to be reminded of their relationship drama whilst trying to take care of her grandmother.

The first few days had been spent trying to figure out how to run the clinic without Lu there but Andy had quickly decided to have a mix of her own patients as well as Lu's patients come in for appointments, starting earlier than usual every morning and staying later every night. She had been relying more on Peter and Lana than ever to keep things running as smoothly as possible. She had also opted to do Wednesday night clinic with Kayla's help for the time being. She had been able to settle into her new routine rather quickly though her pregnancy—despite it still being in the first trimester—wasn't making it easy.

Two and a half weeks after Lu had left, Wednesday night clinic had seemed even more hectic than the previous two Wednesdays and after following it up with a whole day of work on Thursday Andy was beat.

She was heating up the spaghetti sauce Corrina had made earlier that day for dinner later than she was used to, stirring absentmindedly as she dreaded the sound of her alarm the next morning. Milo came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back into his embrace resting her head against his chest and was tempted to close her eyes for just a moment.

''Take a seat,'' he said as he guided her to one of the barstools at the kitchen island, taking over the cooking. He looked at her with concern and knew that the past couple of weeks hadn't been easy for her. He wished he could help but there was only so much he could do, and he had never been gladder to have Corrina around to take care of Lizzy.

Andy propped her elbow up on the counter and rested her head on her hand, tempted to just close her eyes. ''How was work today?'' She asked Milo, needing something to keep her awake until dinner was ready though she wasn't hungry.

''It was okay,'' Milo said. He looked back at Andy who was trying to stretch her muscles, undoubtedly feeling a lot of tension. After a few seconds he walked over to her and started to massage her back and he could feel her relax under his touch. ''Can you believe we're getting married in a week?'' He asked somewhat absentmindedly. Time had flown by and after a lot of preparation there were only seven days left until they'd officially be wed.

''I can't wait,'' Andy said honestly though she couldn't muster sounding excited. She reached behind her and grabbed Milo's hand, wrapping his arm around her and leaning back against him. As soon as she let go of his hand he moved it down, reaching for the hem of her top and reaching under it to stroke her tummy. She was at the end of her first trimester and there was no bump yet but she knew it wouldn't take much longer. They had planned to tell everybody after they came back from their honeymoon.

Milo planted some soft kisses on the back of her neck as he unbuttoned some of the top buttons on her shirt, softly stroking the newly exposed skin. His other hand unzipped her skirt and he slipped his hand inside her panties, finding her wet for him already.

There sex life had died down so much since she had sat him down and told him what she had done. Not that they hadn't been intimate at all but it had taken him a while to be able to move past that enough that he wanted to be with her again. That, combined with how much she had been working the past few weeks, had left her very sensitive from lack of touch. She could feel his hot breath against the back of her neck, his soft lips against her skin and goose bumps formed immediately.

Though she was feeling very relaxed she also felt a lot more awake now.

His fingers dipped inside her and he started drawing slow circles around her clit, knowing this would drive her crazy. He could hear a soft moan coming from her and smiled, ''You like that?'' He asked. She nodded before laying her head back on his shoulder. His other hand pushed her bra down, massaging her breast and her eyes fluttered close.

''Mhm…'' Andy could feel him softly raking his nails over her nipples and she pushed her chest against his hand, not caring when he chuckled. ''Your hands are magic,'' she told him, pushing her ass back against his crotch.

He pulled on her taut nipple, knowing that they were even more sensitive now. He had to keep himself from moving faster, rubbing her clit harder. The slow movements would make the finish all the more intense. ''I want to bury my hard cock deep inside you,'' he whispered in her ear, ''I want to make you scream.''

''Fuck…'' It came out as a whisper as her eyebrows knitted together. She could feel tightening in her belly, a sure sign that she was close. Her hand, which had been holding on to the counter for support, found its way to Milo's thigh, trying to tap out. ''Stop,'' she said between moans as he showed no signs of stopping. It was getting to be too much.

He was sucking on her neck. Though he had no intention of taking this any further than getting her off he had grown hard and softly grinded his erection against her ass. ''You gonna come for me, baby?'' He asked, pushing up against her.

Her legs were shaking, ''No,'' she forced out as she pushed her thighs together, trying to take deep breaths to regain some control over her body. It was hard to resist this and it took all her strength to try to push his hand away. ''Oh god,'' he was unrelenting and it took her a moment to regain some of her faculties. ''We agreed that-''

''I don't care about that,'' Milo said. Yes, as punishment they had agreed that Andy wouldn't come until after they were married and though it had been weeks and he had wanted to deviate from that as pleasuring her was one of his favorite things to do, he now was completely sure he didn't care about that stupid agreement anymore. He tried to push her legs apart, giving his hand room to move, but she wouldn't let him.

''I do,'' Andy said, her hand on his wrist, not letting him move it but also not letting him pull it away. ''Look, I did the crime, I can do the time,'' she said, feeling a bit hazy. ''It's just one more week,'' she added quietly, mostly as a reminder to herself that that was how much longer she had to endure this torture. She wished that she didn't care; that she could have let Milo continue and feel okay about that, but it didn't feel right.

Milo withdrew his hand but still held her close, his hands still underneath her shirt, spreading her wetness on her belly. When he finally pulled away just a little bit she spun around on the barstool.

She could still see the tent inside his slacks and reached for his belt, undoing it despite him starting to protest. ''Let me touch you,'' she said. He tried to tell her that it was okay and she didn't need to do this but she knew it was just because he knew how tired she was. She leaned back against the counter, unbuttoning her shirt all the way down and when she looked back at him she noticed him staring at her chest. So predictable.

He closed his eyes as her hand made its way inside his boxer shorts. When he looked back at her she licked her lips and he groaned. He could feel her hand closing around the base of his dick, stroking up and down slowly. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, secretly glad when that stopped her movements. They were so close to each other… his mind wandered back to the wetness inside her panties and he briefly contemplated pushing them to the side and just fucking her right then and there.

In his mind he could picture them crossing that finish line together. With enough concentration he could conjure up the image… how she would moan his name, how she would feel around him, how she would curse quietly until it was too difficult to remain quiet… he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to resist.

Andy had pulled her hand out of his underwear and was softly pushing him away. Without thinking about it he pinned Andy's wrists behind her. He pushed their hips together. He knew that it would push her right over the edge if he entered her and she didn't want that, but she seemed eager to please and he just wanted her so bad. He could hear her whisper his name and kissed her again. When he pulled away she looked at him hungrily and knew that she too was contemplating just going for it.

Andy's skirt had moved up a bit when she had sat down and she could feel him thrust up against her underwear. She had been so set on waiting another week; she had lasted so long and was sure that she could manage. She didn't know how it had gotten so out of hand but the thought of pushing him down on the bed and riding him until she came undone was so enticing. It wouldn't take long anyway.

She sighed a sigh of relief when the phone rang—this distraction would safe her. She could feel Milo let go of her and she buttoned up her blouse as she quickly made her way over to the phone, trying to clear her mind a bit in the few steps it took. ''Campbell.''

Milo could see the look on her face change and he leaned back against the kitchen counter. She didn't say much. It was a short phone call and when Andy hung up he just looked at her questioningly.

''That was Marc,'' Andy said, looking a bit caught off guard. ''Ehm… I have to go,'' she said and turned on her heel, Milo following closely.

''Go? Go where?'' Milo asked as he followed her up the stairs and into their bedroom.

Andy pulled a suitcase from their closet. ''To Puerto Rico,'' she said, ''Isabel has taken a turn for the worst and… I need to be there.'' She looked around the room, grabbing things that she needed to take with her, trying to focus and not let her worry over how Lu was doing distract her.

Milo was a bit lost for words. ''We're getting married in a week,'' he reminded her, his gaze following her around.

This stopped Andy in her tracks for a second; it had completely slipped her mind. She closed the suitcase, only the bare essentials in them. She gave Milo a peck on the lips, ''I'll be back.''

* * *

Andy felt nervous as she walked down the hospital corridor; both feeling like she wasn't supposed to be there and knowing that she shouldn't be anywhere else. She saw Marc standing in the hallway, getting something from a vending machine. He didn't say anything, just pointed her to a door.

Andy stood outside the door for a second, it was partially open. She could see Isabel lying in the bed, still as the monitor next to her beeped in synchronicity with her heart. Lu was only partially in view, her hands holding onto her grandmother's hand as she sat facing the door, completely oblivious to Andy, her gaze focused on Isabel.

Andy quietly stepped inside, closing the door behind her. Lu finally looked up at the sound of the door closing, freezing in place when she saw Andy.

Andy wanted nothing more than to hold Lu, try to provide some comfort as she was sure that the last couple of weeks couldn't have been easy for her—but she stopped herself. Lu opened her mouth but Andy interrupted her before she could, knowing what she would ask. ''Marc called me,'' she said, it came out almost as a whisper.

Lu stood up, she looked at her grandmother before turning around, not wanting Andy to see the tears, trying to stay strong. She could hear Andy's footsteps behind her and after a moment of hesitation she turned around and broke down in Andy's arms.


	42. The Revelations

To all those still reading this story, thank you for your patience! And to whomever leaves reviews on every chapter, I'm more grateful for you than you'll ever know!

This chapter was a b**** to write and is mostly just Lu and Andy doing some much needed talking, I just hope that this will move the story along a bit whilst still being interesting to read. Enjoy!

* * *

 **—The Revelations—**

* * *

Lu pushed the door shut behind her and turned to Andy. She was vaguely aware that Andy had booked a different room but didn't care; she needed to take her mind off of everything that was going on and couldn't imagine a better way than to have Andy be there.

It had been a few days since Andy had arrived in Puerto Rico and they had mostly kept their distance from each other—Andy had been around to spend time with Marc and had made sure they were fed and had someone to lean on when they needed it, but Lu had still been pushing her away somewhat. Now though… Isabel had received palliative care for a few days and now it was just a few hours after she had passed away.

It was Monday. Lu had expected Andy to go back to Philly as soon as possible to get back to work but had been pleasantly—though she didn't show it—surprised when Andy had shown no signs of even wanting to leave.

Lu's hand lingered on Andy's for a second before she pulled away, leaning against the door waiting for Andy to take the lead to do… anything, really. In the rare moments that her mind hadn't been consumed by Isabel she had wondered why exactly Andy had come to Puerto Rico but didn't want to give it too much thought. Over thinking their relationship is exactly why it now was the way it was.

Andy looked down at her hands before giving Lu a small smile, ''I should probably go, head back to my room.'' She took a step towards the door but was stopped by Lu.

''Wait,'' Lu said, taking a deep breath as she was unsure how Andy would react, ''Stay.'' Her hand was stroking down Andy's arm as she took a step closer.

''I'm not sure that's a good idea,'' Andy said. She wasn't even sure what Lu meant by it, to stay all night, for them to sleep in the same bed, more? All she knew was that with everything going on she didn't feel comfortable with this, this wasn't what she was here for.

''Andy, please… I don't want to be alone tonight, can you just sleep here? Just sleep, no funny business,'' she joked though her face remained serious. ''We can talk about us-''

Andy interrupted her, ''Lu, we can talk about that some other time,'' she said. When Lu didn't respond she sighed, ''Your grandma just died… I don't think this is the time to talk about our relationship.'' She wanted nothing more than to gain some clarity on where Lu stood but now was not the time nor the place to have that particular discussion, especially if it ended in an argument like it had several times before.

''I just need to know that we're okay,'' Lu said, the tears had been coming and going all day but for once it wasn't because of Isabel, it was all about her and Andy. ''I need to know that you're not mad at me for not showing up for lunch, that you don't hate me for dating Julian, that-''

Andy took Lu in her arms, ''Lu, it's okay. I could never hate you, you know that.'' She rubbed Lu's back, ''I want to talk to you about… everything; I really do, but not now. I'm here to support you with everything that's going on, I don't think it's a good idea to discuss our relationship while you're planning Isabel's funeral.''

''But I want to talk about it,'' Lu insisted. She could see why Andy didn't think it was a good idea but it was the one thing she needed. ''I need to focus on something else besides Isabel, and I don't have work here to distract me… I need you to distract me, I don't care if we end up fighting, if you yell at me for hours, I just need something else to think about besides-'' She shook her head as she could feel tears well up again, she was trying her damndest to push Isabel from her mind but it felt futile.

Andy's heart broke at the sight of Lu's tears, but yet she hesitated for a second before finally relenting, ''Okay.''

* * *

Lu turned off the light and closed the bathroom door behind her. Her eyelids were heavy and she was happy that she finally had been able to change into her pajamas. She could see Andy was already beneath the covers after bringing her pajamas and a change of clothes to Lu's room.

Andy moved the pillow behind her so she could sit up against the headboard, feeling rather uncomfortable. She had told herself not to do this, had promised herself that she would distract Lu from both Isabel _and_ their relationship and didn't feel great about now breaking that promise even if it was what Lu wanted—or thought she wanted.

Lu slipped beneath the covers next to Andy, assuming the same position before reaching over to her nightstand to turn the only source of light in the room off; she wanted them to have a real discussion and figured that darkness would make them both slightly more comfortable—there was still enough light flowing through the curtains that they could see each other though.

The awkwardness between them was palpable and she hated it; they had had fights, good times and bad times, but things hadn't ever truly been awkward between them. Even the morning after their first rendezvous things hadn't been that bad. She opened her mouth to say something but realized that she didn't know what to say, hoping that if she remained quiet long enough Andy would break the silence.

Andy glanced over at Lu before looking down at her hands which were folded together in her lap. ''So, I-'' she immediately stopped herself when she and Lu started talking at the same time, sharing a laugh between them. ''You first.''

Lu gave Andy a small smile. It wasn't usual for Andy to let Lu talk first and she knew that Andy now only let her because neither one of them was comfortable breaking the silence, both scared they would cause a fight. Still, she just needed to know, ''Why didn't you come sooner?''

Andy could hear the hurt in Lu's voice and wondered how much she actually knew. She was aware that Lu and Lana had been in contact regularly over the past few weeks but didn't know how much had been shared. ''I had patients,'' she said, a slight stammer in her voice. ''And I'm not saying that work is more important than you because it's not, but my patients, your patients… the clinic can't function with both of us gone, I could barely make it work without you there.'' She wasn't even entirely sure what they would do now that they were both actually away but kept her fingers crossed that they still had jobs to return to when they came back to Philly.

Lu looked at Andy in slight disbelief, ''You treated my patients?'' She asked, feeling touched.

''Well… unfortunately they still get sick when you're not there,'' Andy said. ''Peter helped out a lot, and Kayla helped on Wednesday nights… it was a team effort.'' She reached for Lu's hand, giving it a slight squeeze, ''I don't know how you've been doing it all these years, and as a single mother no less; I have a lot of respect for that.'' She had always known Lu was a hard worker but hadn't always appreciated just how much work it really was.

''Thank you,'' Lu said in a thick voice as she moved slightly closer to Andy, leaving only a small gap between them, ''That means a lot.'' It wasn't until she had been in Puerto Rico for a few days that she felt like she was finally calming down. For years she had just kept going and going no matter what, never taking a break for longer than a weekend; and though her time in Puerto Rico had mentally and emotionally been draining her body had much appreciated the not running around 24/7. ''And thank you for looking after my patients too; they don't have anywhere else to go and…''

''I know how much you care for them,'' Andy said. The care she saw Lu had for her patients was unequalled by any other doctor she had met, and she had met plenty. ''They mean a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me,'' she gave Lu a quick smile before looking away, finding it hard to face her, ''I'm sorry I haven't been there for you these few weeks, I know it couldn't have been easy and I should have done more, called more or-'' she didn't know what else she could've done but wished she had done something, _anything_.

''It's okay, really,'' Lu said, holding Andy's hand in her lap, ''You were there for my patients, and you were there for Marc, they're much more important.'' She knew Andy wasn't a big fan of how she always put herself on the backburner but Marc was the most important thing in her life, the fact that Andy had taken the effort to look after him… it was something none of her exes would've ever thought to do and it meant the world.

''I figured you could use him for support,'' Andy said quietly, ''Between him and Julian you didn't really need me.'' It was painful to say but that had been her train of thought.

''I broke up with Julian,'' Lu said, her eyes focused on Andy's face, wanting to see her reaction, ''I broke up with him after we came back from dress shopping,'' she swear she could see a hint of a smile on Andy's face and was glad for it. She slid down the bed a little bit, trying to get more comfortable. She was on her side, her hand resting on Andy's belly, trying to imagine the life growing inside and wondering what role she would end up playing in its life. ''I know that we're not entirely okay and that we have a lot to talk about, but even though we're not back together,'' _yet_ , she added in her mind, ''I thought it'd be best to end things with him.'' One less thing to get out of the way.

''What's it going to take?'' Andy asked, ''To get back together, I mean.'' She felt like they had gone over and over this too many times. Lu had told her time and time again what she needed to do to get back together and though Andy had listened and had done what she could it still never seemed to be enough.

Lu gave a halfhearted shrug, ''It's not your problem, it's mine. I need to find a way to get over what happened that night,'' to this day the thought of how it had ended made her queasy.

 _Lu's panting slowly slowed down as she could feel liquid run from her stomach down her side, her mind racing trying to figure out what it could be knowing full well there was only one possibility. Andy's shaking legs were next to her head and Lu softly pushed her away, feeling angry while still wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt._

 _As Andy dropped down on the bed next to Lu, still coming down from her high, Lu could see Nick kneeling on the bed; his pants were pushed down to his thighs, his underwear pushed down just inches as his dick was poking out, slowly going soft._

 _Lu scooted up the bed, resting against the headboard as she pulled her knees up to her chest, wanting to cover herself from Nick's eyes which were glued on her. She couldn't face either of them. She knew that Andy and Nick had had a physical relationship in the past and were very comfortable with each other when it came to this, but she couldn't believe Andy. It wasn't a surprise that Nick had been turned on but for one or both of them to act on it…_

 _Nick could sense how upset Lu was and handed her a piece of clothing, not even sure it was Lu's but wanting to do something to make the whole situation easier for her. Though he had enjoyed what Andy had done he knew it was a heat of the moment thing and she was already regretting it._

 _Lu watched Nick leave the room and quickly put the tank top—it was Andy's but she didn't care—on, wanting to cover herself from Andy's gaze as well._

 _Andy pulled the covers up to her chest, her mind racing trying to figure out how she could be this stupid. ''Lu…'' she reached out for Lu's hand but got swatted away. She didn't pay mind to Nick when he came back into the room and dropped their clothes on the bed before leaving again. ''Are you okay?'' She asked. Yes, maybe she had taken it the slightest bit further than planned but this had all been Lu's idea. She knew that the post-orgasm moment always provided a lot of clarity but she couldn't imagine Lu regretting the whole thing considering how long she had been talking about it—or joked about it at least._

 _Lu got up off the bed, pretty sure she had never gotten dressed quicker. Despite that, she lingered. She didn't want to leave the room and face Nick, she didn't have a way to get home anyway as Andy had drove them._

 _Andy could sense Lu's hesitation as she put on her shoes, ''Lu…?''_

 _''Andy, I just…'' Lu bit her lip as she put her hand on the doorknob, not having any patience for Andy to finish getting ready for them to leave nor wanting to get into it at Nick's apartment, ''I wanna go home.''_

''Your problems are my problems,'' Andy said, putting her hand on Lu's, desperately wanting her to know that even if they never managed to work things out she would still always be there for her. She swallowed hard, ''I cheated on you,'' without meaning to but fully aware that that didn't matter, ''I shouldn't have done that without consulting you first. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have and I'm sorry for that.''

Lu remained quiet for a few seconds. ''I like being in control,'' she said firmly, her whole body tense as she tried to suppress her emotions.

''You don't have to tell me that,'' Andy said with a chuckle though wondering how exactly that related to what they were talking about, not noticing how stiff Lu's body had gotten next to her own. She liked Lu taking control, it had led to a lot of great moments when Lu took charge and she wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

Andy's words went into one ear and out the other as Lu wasn't totally focusing on Andy. ''I like taking control because,'' she had to force the words out, finding her train of thought difficult to articulate, ''Because when I was raped… I never felt so out of control. I need to know that I'm in charge of what happens, that nothing happens without my consent… when you did that with Nick, I just…'' she couldn't put it into words but tears started falling and she didn't have the energy to stop them no matter how much she wanted to.

Andy's jaw dropped and she didn't hesitate to pull Lu into her arms. She hadn't thought about it like that, had never actually paid mind to why Lu wanted to be in charge all the time.

''I don't want you to think it's because I don't trust you, because I do—and I trust Nick, too—just the combination of not knowing what was happening and then realizing that you did _that_ with _him._ '' Lu could feel that her hands was shaking, finding it hard to talk about. To not only have them do that basically on top of her but to then have Nick's semen on her, she had felt gross and violated. ''I know it's not even remotely similar to what Kilner did to me but for some reason it brought back those memories.''

''Lu… I am so sorry,'' Andy said, wanting to reach out for Lu but unsure Lu would be comfortable with that. She could never have fathomed this bringing back those traumas for Lu and felt bad that it hadn't come to her sooner.

''No, I'm sorry,'' Lu said. ''It made me want to push you away just to get away from those memories and that wasn't fair. I just put up walls and started dating Julian as a way to prove to myself that everything was fine when it wasn't…'' that had been hard to admit to herself, ''It wasn't fair to you.'' Lu pulled away from Andy, needing some breathing room. She looked Andy in the eyes, needing to know that she was being honest, ''I just need to know,'' just to know that she wasn't completely crazy, ''You knew I meant for him to just watch, right?''

''I did.'' Andy could see that finally having this confirmation hurt Lu. ''I got caught up in the moment,'' she said softly, ''He and I had been together so many times it was like falling back into an old routine. It wasn't anything to do with you, or Milo for that matter.''

''It wouldn't have been so bad had you just told me you wanted to do that,'' Lu said. ''I've been telling you for months to just talk to me; to open up to me about what's going on in your life, about where you want our relationship to go… Having you and Nick together like that… it's just hard because you were already pushing me away and then you go and do that too?''

''I'm sorry for that,'' Andy said, wishing she could force herself to be more comfortable with being vulnerable.

''So why didn't you?'' Lu asked, ''You never had a problem opening up to me when we were just friends, what changed?'' It was something that had been bothering her for a long time and she was hoping that Andy would finally explain what was going on with her. She could feel Andy pull away a bit and reached out, pulling her closer again. ''Andy?''

''You're not the first girl I've had feelings for,'' Andy said suddenly, quietly. She had lied to Lu—and herself—many times about this particular thing and had felt bad about it, but it was difficult for her to admit. With how open Lu had just been to her though she felt it was only fair to show Lu the same courtesy.

Lu frowned, ''I thought you said you had never dated girls before.''

''I hadn't,'' Andy said, ''But there have been crushes. Nothing serious enough to consider a relationship but still… I had a crush on a girl back in high school, I wrote about it in my diary and my dad read it,'' in her peripheral vision she could see Lu was staring at her but knew it would be easier to talk to Lu if she wasn't facing her, ''He wasn't too happy about it.'' When she closed her eyes she could still feel the sting on her cheek, the derogatory terms he had thrown her way—she just thanked her lucky stars he hadn't thrown her out. ''And then I married Les and then after him there was Milo… I didn't really have to deal with those feelings until you.

''I think I've been pushing you away because… my dad is dying. Every time I see him he's a bit worse, I don't want these last few years with him having him hate me,'' Andy said. She had always tried to keep the peace and since her dad's diagnosis even more so, which was of course the moment her feelings for Lu reared their ugly head. ''I know he would disapprove and so I figured it would be better not to get involved with you, or any woman for that matter… and then we did get together and I tried to keep things from getting too serious-''

''You don't want us to get more serious?'' Lu asked. She had been keeping her fingers crossed that they were heading towards a reconciliation but she needed to know sooner rather than later if Andy felt the same way. Her mind went over all the proposals Andy had made since their breakup: for Lu to move in with her, for Lu to be a second mother to the baby, all of that was more serious than she could have ever hoped for.

''That's the thing, I do.'' Andy said, though she couldn't face Lu she did reach for her hand, feeling relieved when Lu's soft hand grabbed hold of her own.

Lu licked her lips, trying to find a way to comfort Andy. ''You know that I'm okay with us keeping our relationship a secret from your family, I've told you that many times,'' she said, confused as to what wasn't clear about that to Andy. ''I told you that I want our friends to know, and that I can tell people when I want to but I'm okay with us not telling anyone else.''

''I'm not.'' Andy said, ''I'm not okay with that. I don't want to have to keep our relationship a secret from anyone let alone my family, I shouldn't have to.''

Lu wasn't sure what to say. Her mother had passed away when she was ten and she had had Isabel as support for a couple of years after that but after getting knocked up at sixteen years old she had been on her own; she could only imagine what Andy must be going through. Over the years she had gotten some insight into what Andy's relationship with her father was like but she wasn't privy to all the details, it had never been brought up much by either of them.

''I just need to get through Friday and after that I won't have to see them for a couple of months,'' Andy said. Family was always a priority to her and that had always included her parents as well but now she just wanted to get every visit with them over with. Every time she saw her mother she felt the rejection she had felt when she told her mother about her relationship with Lu; she needed time to figure out what she was doing, where their relationship was headed, and she needed time to get the courage to tell _both_ her parents about their relationship.

''Friday?'' Lu asked though a second later she remembered, ''Friday… I had completely forgotten about the wedding,'' she said, hoping Andy wouldn't take that badly. ''You… you need to go, what are you still doing here?'' True, she had never been a bride but she knew how much work went into weddings and that as soon as Andy went home there would be plenty of last minute details that needed her time and attention.

''Lu, I'm not going back to Philadelphia without you,'' Andy said. She had made up her mind about this pretty much as soon as she had told Milo that she would be back in time. Lu had asked her time and time again to make her a priority and Andy had struggled since their breakup to show Lu that she was a priority but this was it… And she wasn't just doing it to prove something to Lu; she didn't want Lu to be left on her own to deal with Isabel's affairs, Andy knew she couldn't celebrate her wedding knowing what Lu was going through.

''Don't worry about me,'' Lu said. ''You've been planning this for months; Milo will kill you if you don't show up.'' She knew this wedding had probably cost them a butt load of money, people would be coming in from out of town… It wasn't just any regular old party.

Andy took Lu's face in her hands, ''Lu, I'm not going anywhere without you.''


	43. The Wedding

Okay but is anyone really surprised that I said I would update this weekend and then waited until the last possible moment? This chapter is a bit more descriptive and mushy than my usual writing style but what do you except from a wedding chapter? (Reviewer(s?), thank you for your wonderful feedback as always, I love you for it! 3) Enjoy!

* * *

 **–The Wedding–**

* * *

Andy watched Marc head inside the hotel and could see Lu watching her expectantly, however, she felt glued to the spot.

''Are you ready?'' Lu asked, her eyebrows raised. She took Andy's hand into her own, waiting for Andy to lead them both inside. She knew her palms were a bit sweaty and knew without asking that she was more nervous than Andy was.

Andy looked up at the tall building, the hotel where she was supposed to be getting ready now, where she would be getting married in just a few hours, she looked back at Lu, ''Are you?'' She asked, needing to know.

They had only just landed back in Philadelphia, in the nick of time for the wedding. It had been a last minute booking and they were only just barely on time but Lu had been insistent that she wasn't going to keep Andy from going to her own wedding. Andy knew she had to rush inside and get ready but didn't want to without getting the 'okay' from Lu.

It had been less than 24 hours since Isabel's funeral. It had been an insane couple of days with planning the funeral as well as tying up all the loose ends and clearing out Isabel's house and putting it on the market… they hadn't had a moment to just breathe and hadn't talked about their relationship at all though they had continued to sleep in the same bed, just on opposite sides with their hands meeting somewhere in the middle.

Andy tried to blame Puerto Rico's heat and humidity for the distance they had kept from each other, trying to ignore how Lu had been colder than usual.

Lu thought back to the sleepless nights she had had in the past week, Andy lying peacefully asleep next to her. She had been thinking about today, had been thinking about Andy walking down the aisle to Milo, not her. There was a fear that Andy would forget about her and about mending their relationship as she would surely focus more on Milo during their honeymoon phase after their 'I do's'.

Andy gave Lu a look when she didn't respond. ''Lu?''

Lu looked back and forth between Andy's eyes. ''Do you love me?'' She asked, needing to know. She could see Andy hesitating and it made her stomach sink, ''I don't need to know if you want to get back together,'' Lu said, feeling like she needed to clarify, ''And I don't need to know if you're _in_ love with me, but do you-''

''Yeah of course I do,'' Andy said, wondering how Lu could ever doubt that, ''Of course I love you.''

Lu smiled for the first time in what felt like way too long. She tugged Andy behind her to the door, ''Then let's go.''

* * *

Milo stared at Andy as she walked down the aisle, absolutely speechless.

She had chosen not to be given away by her parents so was walking alone, her dress trailing behind her a bit. She had gotten ready in record time, it had helped that Jesse and Lizzy had already had their hair and makeup done so only Andy and Lu were left to get ready.

Lu was holding her breath as she watched Andy's eyes gazing back at Milo. Yes, Andy had given her some reassurance but she still didn't feel entirely comfortable and was wondering how she had ever agreed to this. At least it took her mind off of Isabel for a moment.

She had helped Andy put her dress on, feeling as speechless as she had the first time she had seen Andy in it. There was now nothing else to distract her from the fact that Andy and Milo could actually get married – they would forever have something more than she and Andy had, something that they couldn't even have. It broke her heart but she knew it was for the best to let Andy do this.

Still, she managed to smile at Andy as she took the bouquet from her. It was only a split second that Andy had even looked at her and she wished it had lasted longer. Lu had the ring Andy was going to give to Milo in her hand and she looked down at it, wishing she didn't have to.

The officiant smiled down at Andy and Milo, ''Dearly beloved, we have come together, family and friends, to uphold Milo and Andy as they make their vows of marriage.'' He gave Milo a small nod, giving him the go-ahead.

''Andy, it seems surreal we finally made it to the altar,'' he said and they both chuckled. ''I must admit there were times when I didn't think we would make it, but even when I didn't want to admit it to myself I always felt in my heart that you are _the one_ , that you are the one I'm supposed to share my life with.'' He looked down for a second, feeling overwhelmed with his love for her. When he looked back up his eyes met Lu's over Andy's shoulder and he could see she was struggling to keep it together, and in that moment all he wanted to do was support her. He knew that he was not just marrying Andy but he was in a way marrying Lu too, she would always be there. Even if they hadn't officially gotten back together she would still be there.

When Lu gave him a slight nod, urging him to continue, Milo focused back on Andy. ''There are a lot of things I love about you,'' he said, feeling emotional, ''Your kind spirit, your devotion to the people that you love, your passion for what you do…I love that you accept me for who I am but still challenge me to be better. I feel like I've grown a lot during our relationship and even though I don't know what the future holds, I'm ready, and I can't wait to find out with you. I vow to always be there for you, to remind you every chance I get how much I love you; I vow to support you when life gets tough, and to celebrate the good times. I love you.''

Milo turned to his father – his best man – and took the ring from him and turned back to Andy, a flutter in his stomach.

''Do you, Milo Morton, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?''

''I do,'' Milo said with a smile as he slipped the ring on Andy's finger, ''I commit myself to you, to love, nurture, challenge, and support you, through all the changes of our lives.''

Andy looked down at her ring, happy that at last after their breakup and after all their fights this was finally happening. Now it was her turn. She took a deep breath. ''Milo, there have been many ups and downs in our relationship and it wasn't always easy, but no matter what happened you were always there. You helped me grow, and through all the changes you were supportive and accepting,'' maybe not at every step but he was when it counted, ''Though you don't always show it you have a big heart and I love you beyond belief and feel so honored that I get to call you my husband. I can't promise that it'll always be easy, I can't promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise that you won't have to face them alone. I will laugh with you, I will cry with you, I will care for you, and I will build a life with you. I love you more than I will ever be able to put into words, but I will show you every day.'' She couldn't help but still mouth the words 'I love you' to him. She could feel a tear in her eye and was surprised by it. She turned to Lu, taking the ring from her before looking up at Lu's face, looking back at her for just a second longer than she had to. The look on Lu's face, the emotions written all over it, it was a very sobering moment. The officiant's voice snapped her out of it, and she turned back, feeling like she needed a moment to gather herself.

''Do you, Andy Campbell, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?''

She looked up at Milo's grinning face, ''I do.'' She said, her voice soft but audible enough. Her hand had a slight tremor to it as she slipped the ring on Milo's face, ''I commit myself to you,'' it had originally said 'commit my entire being' but she had convinced Milo to change it, ''To love, nurture, challenge, and support you, through all the changes of our lives.''

''By the power vested in me by the great state of Pennsylvania, I now declare you husband and wife!''

The sound of their guests cheering and clapping was drowned out the moment Andy felt Milo's lips on her own.

* * *

It wasn't until after dinner that Andy got a break from talking to guests, and she took the first opportunity she got to drag Lu with her into a secluded room. ''Are you okay?'' Andy asked sincerely, trying not to pay too much mind to how Lu was softly pushing her away, ''I saw the look on your face during the ceremony.'' It wasn't just during the ceremony either; when they had sat down for dinner Andy could see that Lu was only feeling worse, a worn-out look on her face.

Lu shrugged, she didn't want Andy to have to worry about their relationship during her wedding but knew that Andy wasn't going to let this go, ''I guess I just…'' she sighed, ''I'm just a bit jealous, of you and Milo, of hearing you tell him how much you love him. And what he said… he really has it bad for you,'' she said, trying to make light of the situation.

Andy chuckled, shaking her head slightly, ''Lu…''

''Nick tried to talk to me after the ceremony,'' Lu added, interrupting Andy. She knew Nick was going to be at the wedding, she was well aware of how he and Andy had stayed friends after everything that had gone down between them, but that didn't mean she was ready to talk about it with him like he had attempted to. ''After what he did-''

''After what _he_ did?'' Andy asked, interrupting Lu, ''You know it was all my doing, don't you? I was the one who pulled him closer, I was the one who initiated it, if you're going to be mad at anyone it should be me.'' When she looked Lu in the eye she could see that deep down she still was.

''I know, I know,'' Lu said, running her hands through her hair, pulling out a bobby pin when it got in the way, ''I don't care.'' She said, sniffling a bit, ''I'm just so…'' she tried to look for the right word. Done, sad, angry, ''I'm just so tired.''

Andy could see the tears spilling over Lu's eyelids and pulled her into her arms, softly stroking her hair in an attempt to comfort her. ''It's okay,'' she whispered. Andy had expected that sooner or later this would happen. Lu had maintained a tough composure – as she always did – during the whole ordeal with Isabel, but Andy had been able to see how much it had affected her, and had expected that sooner or later Lu would break. Andy could feel Lu start to pull away a bit, ''It's okay.''

Lu looked at the wet tears left on Andy's dress and tried to wipe them away, ''We need to keep the dress pretty for when you marry me.''

Andy smiled at the offhanded comment, it had been too long since she had heard Lu talk about the two of them like that, ''I have a good drycleaner,'' she joked, her arms draped over Lu's shoulders.

Lu shook her head a bit, wiping away her tears, ''I'm really so happy for you, and for Milo, and I want to go out there,'' she looked over at the door they had come in through, ''And celebrate, but I don't think I have it in me… Maybe I should just go home.''

''No, no…'' Andy said, trying to think of a different solution, feeling nervous when only one idea came to mind, ''Wait here a second, okay?'' She didn't wait to hear any possible protests from Lu as she quickly slipped out the door and back into the main hall, immediately bumping into Milo.

He gave her a suspicious look, ''Is everything okay in there?'' He asked, wrapping his arm around Andy's waist.

She could feel him nuzzle her neck as she wrapped her arms around his neck, ''Everything is fine,'' she said slowly, needing to build up the courage to what she was about to ask. ''Can I have one of our keycards?'' She asked, pulling away from him and flashing him a big smile, immediately knowing he misunderstood when he started grinning. He had both the keycards to their suite on him as she didn't have anywhere to put them but now wished she had found a different place to stash them.

''Now?'' He asked, his hands moving down to her butt as he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching them.

''It's not for us,'' Andy said quietly, seeing it slowly start to click for him.

''Oh.''

''It's Lu,'' Andy said, ''She's…'' She couldn't find the right words.

''It's fine.'' Milo said, pulling away a bit and giving her one of the cards.

She looked up at him, a slight frown on her face; she could see that though he didn't truly mind he wasn't entirely thrilled about it either. ''Is it?''

* * *

He had been quiet and Andy had decided that was probably the best response she could've hoped for – she didn't expect him to suddenly be completely on-board with her relationship with Lu.

Andy had gone up to the suite she and Milo had booked with Lu, glad when Lu seemed to pass out nearly instantly on the bed. It gave them less time to talk and it gave Andy to focus more of her attention on her now husband – though she would be lying if she said that on the way back down she wasn't wondering about her and Lu.

Aside from Lu's offhand comment about their possible future wedding she still had not entirely given Andy indication that they were back together, not officially anyway. They hadn't kissed since before their breakup weeks ago, their hands somehow always seemed to find each other but they were physically quite distant aside from that.

It was a lot to think about but Andy tried to push that out of her mind the second the elevator doors opened into the lobby, the music coming from the hotel ballroom loud and clear.

The hotel had a room specifically designed for weddings, but she and Milo had opted to also rent the ballroom and adjacent outdoor patio for the reception. It was a bit more lavish than she was accustomed to – although her relationship with Milo had certainly helped – but couldn't argue with Milo that it was a beautiful place for their wedding.

The summer had seemed to stretch into fall and the temperatures outside were nice enough that they had been able to open – and keep open – the large doors leading outside. The outside was decorated with lights everywhere, and a live band was playing.

It wasn't long before she found Milo in the crowd, slipping her hand in his as she leaned into his side. He was in deep conversation with an aunt of his who had flown into the wedding and Andy was absentmindedly listening to them. When they finally got a moment alone he turned more towards her. She could see him signal something to the band and frowned at him.

''It's nothing,'' he whispered in her ear as he pulled her close, burying his face in her hair as they slowly danced to the music.

It was their first dance together as husband as wife – a nice change of pace from having her first dance with the base commandant like at her and Les' wedding. She laid her head on Milo's chest, her eyes meeting other people's in the crowd. She could see Nick standing near the bar, getting a drink.

Their eyes met and she smiled at him. She wasn't sure how to feel about him anymore. Yes, she had been the one to mess up, that wasn't his fault, and she definitely blame him for her mistake, but she felt guilty for still having some affectionate feelings for him. It wasn't fair to Milo and it definitely wasn't fair to Lu.

Her eyes glided across the dance floor, Lizzy was dancing with one of Milo's nephews, her parents were dancing with each other, Eve and Philip were dancing together, Peter and Kayla… inside she could see Jesse and Marc talking to each other, as well as Robert and Susan whose MS had slowly progressed far enough that she couldn't dance anymore.

Andy picked her head up off Milo's chest in surprise when the new song started. Fields of Gold, it had been their song ever since he had taken her to a Sting concert when they first started dating. She felt touched that he had asked the band to play it for them, she herself hadn't thought of that.

She reassured herself that Lu was completely safe and vast asleep before she allowed herself to let Lu slip from her mind, focusing completely on Milo and celebrating their love and commitment to each other. Even if she had wanted to she wouldn't have been able to look away from Milo, their eyes glued on each other.

''I can't believe we're married,'' she said quietly. There had not been a doubt in her mind that she would one day marry him – not when they were together and not when they were broken up – but to now finally get to call him her husband… She had been committed to them and their relationship but this made it all the more real.

''Took long enough,'' Milo said with a sigh. It had only been a few months since his annulment from Sandra had gone through, thankfully it had been pretty amicable and she hadn't put up much of a fight after receiving some money and most of his furniture. Not that he needed it anymore anyway.

She nodded in agreement. Andy could feel him lean in, rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss, making her giggle.

''I'm just glad we made it,'' he said sincerely, ''I would marry you every day, Andy Campbell.''

* * *

Andy's jaw dropped slightly when she saw Lu walk into the ballroom. It was well after midnight and the party was starting to slowly slow down, a few guests had already left.

It was clear that Lu was more rested and she still looked perfect, not a hair out of place and her mascara un-smudged.

Andy waved her over to where she and Milo were standing, saying goodbye to some people, focusing on Lu as soon as they had left. ''How are you feeling?'' She asked, her hand rubbing Lu's arm. One of her arms was still wrapped around Milo's waist, not wanting him to feel like she was prioritizing Lu too much on their wedding day.

''Better,'' Lu said. It had been a long nap that had been much needed. She was surprised to wake up in the bed alone, surprised that apparently the party was still ongoing but glad that that meant she could join in on the celebration even if just for a little bit. She glanced over at Milo, hoping that he didn't mind her being there. He had seemed more kind than usual during the ceremony and for a brief second she had felt like maybe if she and Andy got back together they could all get along, but he seemed more distant now.

''Good,'' Milo said with a slight nod. After a moment of hesitation he gave Lu a brief, one-arm hug, ignoring the awkwardness he was sure Lu had felt as well. He knew that Andy probably wouldn't get back together with Lu if she felt that he wasn't okay with it, he wanted to prove to her that he was.

Andy glanced back and forth between Milo and Lu, trying to find a way to break the silence that had set in. She turned around when Jesse tapped on her arm, Marc in tow as she was dragging her little sister behind her. Andy hadn't been able to spend that much time with her daughters during the wedding but from what she had seen they had had a good time nonetheless.

''Let's take a picture,'' Jesse said, and Andy noticed the photographer that had come along inside with them.

Andy took a deep breath before giving Jesse a slight nod. It had been great that – though it had taken a long time – Jesse and Lizzy had finally accepted Lu and Marc into their lives, into the family, but now that Andy and Lu were broken up she wasn't sure it was for the best anymore, the last thing she wanted was for her girls to get hurt.

Milo pulled Andy next to him, between him and Lu, as the kids got in position next to them. Andy could feel Milo's arm around her waist, Lu's hand searching hers and she squeezed it slightly, glad that Lizzy was somewhat blocking the view from the camera. She looked down at their hands joined together before looking up at Lu, smiling at her.

She knew she was somewhat drunk from the exhaustion and the excitement of the day, but for the first time in a long time she felt sure in her heart that they were going to be okay.


	44. The Honeymoon

There's a lot of sex happening in this chapter and some of it is a little different from what I usually write, hope it's still enjoyable. As always, let me know if there's something you want to see happen in this chapter cause I need inspiration lol. And to all my fellow Dutchies, happy [by now belated] King's Day! Hope everybody is safe and reviewer I honestly wish I could promise weekly or biweekly updates and wish I had the time to write that much, but I don't like making promises I can't keep and with studying at home it's just not possible at the moment :(

* * *

 **—The Honeymoon—**

* * *

''I called a cab,'' Lu said, struggling to keep her eyes open as they made their way to the foyer.

It was way past everybody's bedtime. Lizzy and Jesse had decided to bunk together so that Marc could stay at the hotel and didn't have to find a way to get home. Now it was just Milo, Andy, and Lu left, trying to find a way to say goodnight and goodbye for the time being as the last guests had left. After spending the whole week together – even if they weren't _together, together_ – Andy couldn't imagine not spending the next one with Lu.

It had reminded her how much she had missed Lu when they had been apart. Yes, she had been angry at Lu for dating Julian and making patching things up between them that much more difficult, she had been mad at herself for screwing everything up, but mostly she had just missed Lu a lot. Their relationship was often difficult but things just worked, they understood each other and were able to anticipate what the other needed… For a long time now Andy felt like she no longer understood Lu but in the past week, that feeling of knowing everything with just one look at each other had returned.

She had been able to see exactly what she needed to do, but now that they were about to say goodbye to each other for a little over a week she had no idea what to do, what to say. It was only partially because Milo was there, and because he was now her husband. Andy had seen what a wreck Lu had been earlier that evening, and leaving her on her own this next week, let her go back to work alone as she was mourning her grandmother…

Lu slipped on her coat, pushing her hair out of her face. ''I'll pick Marc up in the morning, I can take the girls home too,'' she said, pushing her hands into her pockets and suppressing a yawn. ''Who's gonna be looking after them?''

''Well, Jesse's going back to school on Sunday, my mom offered to stay with Lizzy,'' Andy said, her tone making it pretty clear that she wasn't too fond of the idea. ''It'll give her plenty of time to interrogate Lizzy about us.'' She pursed her lips together and shook her head, clearly disapproving of her mother. She felt bad that Corrina hadn't been able to stay with Lizzy so now she had to subject the teenager to her mother's curiosity.

''You know I can stay with her if you want, right?'' Lu asked, wondering why Andy hadn't asked her.

''Lu, you don't have to-''

''It'll be a good distraction.'' Lu said, interrupting Andy. She could have work to distract her during the day and busy herself with Lizzy at night. She was well aware that distraction wasn't the best coping mechanism but it's just what she did, and if it got her through the week then that was all that mattered.

Andy knew there was no arguing with Lu, and it was much better than the alternative anyway. She resigned herself. ''I'll let mom know,'' she said. She flipped a stray lock of hair over her shoulder, taking a deep breath, ''Then I guess we'll see you in the morning.'' She reached out, giving Lu's hand a slight squeeze, but not letting go after.

Lu pushed the reminder that considering the time the morning was just a few hours away, to the back of her mind. She looked down at their hands clasped together, ''I can't wait.''

* * *

Andy bit down on her lower lip, keeping her eyes fixed on the road in front of her. Milo was driving their rental car to the hotel, his hand on her thigh slowly moving up. They had had breakfast as a family that morning before hopping on a plane to Hawaii; all the while Milo was teasing her. Their exhaustion combined with the prospect of having to get up relatively early had made them decide to wait to consummate their marriage until they could do it properly; and Milo was having the time of his life building her up to that moment.

Milo was driving with one hand on the steering wheel but while he was an excellent driver he had trouble staying focused. He could hear Andy's breath hitch every once in a while when he got closer to her center, before moving his hand away which he knew frustrated her.

She could feel his hand against her panties for a split second and it was enough to make her squirm in her seat, pushing her thighs together. She could hear him chuckle and sighed, ''You're such a tease,'' she said. She allowed his hand to escape from between her legs and stared at him; his skin glowing in the warm sunlight.

She wanted to reach out, tease him the way he had teased her, make him squirm. The thought of working him up until he wanted her as badly as she had wanted him turned her on more than she cared to admit — she was too used to taking on the submissive role. His hand was on her belly, softly stroking it, and she grabbed his hand in her own, guiding it back to her inner thigh, she took a shaky breath in anticipation as he quickly worked his way back up under her skirt. All the while he remained focus on the road, his fingers simply knew what to do.

Milo noticed she started to breath faster, more shallowly, and withdrew his hand. A groan from her made him smile.

''This is torture,'' she said, trying to slow down her breathing which was difficult as she knew they were getting close to the hotel, close to having nothing holding them back. She could see the pleased look on his face and glared at him, ''Have you never heard of the Geneva Conventions?''

He laughed. ''We've got all week, no reason to rush.''

They arrived at the hotel just a little while later and it wasn't long before they were alone in their room. Milo pulled Andy into his arms, burying his face into her neck. He could feel her hands move under his shirt, unbuttoning it before pulling it off of him, her hand moving further down and unbuttoning his pants next. ''Getting right down to it, huh?'' He asked, he grabbed the hem of her shirt and moved to pull it off.

Andy pulled away and shook her head, ''You had your fun, now let me.'' She said, pushing him back onto the bed. She could see he was already half hard and smiled – it was time for once to make _him_ beg for release, to have him squirm under her touch, to have her make him lose all control. It was much better than the alternative at the moment. She pulled her shirt off, looking at his face to see his reaction and wasn't disappointed. She had deliberately not shown him that morning, wanted to keep it a surprise. The dark red lace and silk bra she was wearing matched the panties that were still hidden underneath her skirt. She let it drop to the floor, and stepped out of it. Milo's eyes were the size of saucers and she grinned at him.

''Fuck,'' he said with a groan. He had often said that even when she was just wearing the plainest of underwear but somehow she always seemed to get him going. ''I can't say I'm not having fun,'' he said as she climbed onto the bed, lying down next to him. He moved his arm around her, pulling her closer and kissed her hard. Though their sex life had been put on the backburner he had still missed her greatly when she had in Puerto Rico with Lu and was glad at the prospect of their week together.

''No touching,'' Andy whispered as she pulled away from the kiss, moving her hand down his torso before massaging him through his underwear. She could feel the shudder that went through him when she finally pushed his underwear down, her firm grip on his velvety skin made it hard for him to breathe and Milo tried to hide it – he knew that she knew the kind of spell she had over him and any attempt to prove the contrary would be in vain, but for the sake of still wanting to generally be the dominant one he would still try.

His hand moved down her back and cupped her ass, squeezing it softly. He could feel her hair against his face and breathed the florally scent of her shampoo in.

''I said no touching,'' Andy said to him as she sat up, sitting down on his thighs. ''Don't make me tie you up.'' She had known it would be hard for him to keep his hands to himself but that made it all the more fun. She ran her fingers up and down his dick before grasping it more firmly and jerking it.

The mention of it brought memories of her being tied up back to the forefront of his mind and he let out a strangled moan. Milo looked up at her, his hand had dropped down to next to him on the bed and he missed the feel of her smooth skin. His gaze moved down her body, her full breasts being pushed together by the bra, the slightest hint of a baby bump starting, her panties hiding the place where he most wanted to bury his face and make her come over and over again on his tongue.

Her hand was wrapped around his dick, moving slowly up and down, twisting a bit when she got to the head. There was a concentrated look on Milo's face as he watched Andy's hand, he knew she was staring at him and though he tried his hardest not to let it show how much he was enjoying it, it was hard to suppress the occasional groan.

''You like that?'' Andy asked as she moved a bit quicker, studying his face to find out what worked best.

''It's fine,'' Milo said, trying to sound casual. His head rolled back as Andy found just the right rhythm and his legs trembled. He could feel himself nearing the edge and was bucking up against her hand, ''fuck fuck fuck.'' He bit his lip trying to quiet himself, he didn't like cursing but it was getting more and more difficult to stay quiet.

Andy could see his abs twitching. The perspiration made his skin glisten, his breath coming out in little puffs as he was starting to come. Her gaze remained focused on his face as she pulled her hand away, smirking when his shoulders slumped, his hand which had been grasping the sheet let go.

''Seriously?'' Milo asked, watching the cum dribble down his dick. It had felt so good and then she had just… stopped? He had been wondering how what she was doing could be construed as torture and now he got it.

''Yes, seriously.'' Andy said with a grin, flicking her fingers against the tip and hearing him groan almost in pain. She wiped some of his cum up with her index finger, bringing it to her mouth and licking it off.

Milo swallowed hard, lost for words. His dick was still standing at full attention, just twitching a bit. As he caught his breath he could feel Andy's fingers running up and down his shaft, just the lightest of touches.

Andy could feel the stickiness spreading across her hand and started up again, even slower this time. She ran her hand over the tip a few times and Milo drew in a sharp breath. It was a nice change of pace and she hoped Milo would agree. Watching Milo grow more and more aroused was turning her on and it made for a nicer buildup to her own release than simply having him go down on her, she knew she would come in no time once he finally focused on her with how long it had been and she wasn't ready for it.

She leaned down, flattening her tongue against the tip before sucking him into her mouth. The salty taste spread over her lip as her mouth and hand worked in tandem; her hand speeding up its movements as her mouth sucked on the tip, running her tongue over the slit at the top.

''Fuck, Andy…'' Milo's hands hovered near her shoulders, partially wanting to push her away as it was getting to be too much but the prospect of a satisfying orgasm was too tempting. He could feel her swallow around him and he bit so hard on his lip blood was trickling into his mouth. He paid no mind to it. The groans leaving his mouth where starting to sound more like sobs. His hips jerked and he could feel her release him barely a second after his orgasm started. ''No…'' he whined.

Andy laughed – he wasn't the whiney type and she doubted she'd ever be able to get him to this place again. She looked down at the abysmal amount of cum that was leaking out, wanting to lean down and clean it up with her tongue but that would be defeating the purpose of what she had been doing.

Andy pushed his legs apart, planting one of her own legs in between them to keep him from closing them. She didn't give him as much time to come down this time and started at the base which, though it felt good, wasn't nearly as pleasurable as when she focused more on the tip. She could see Milo looking up at her, clearly wondering how much longer she would continue with this. Her hand kept going very slowly as her other hand, which had been resting on her thigh, started to travel up her body. She could see Milo's eyes following it, taking in a sharp breath when she squeezed one of her boobs. A moan escaped her mouth and Milo's eyes grew darker. She softly ran her fingers over the silk covering her nipple trying not to work herself up too much though she knew Milo enjoyed it.

Milo groaned when she brought her hand back down but didn't have too long to pout about it. Her hand softly tugged on his balls and he grasped the sheet, twisting them in his fingers. He closed his eyes, trying to run images through his head that would take his arousal down a notch but all he could see was Andy, exactly as she was in front of him in that exact moment.

Andy couldn't stop herself from gently grinding against his leg and she bit down on her lip, not wanting to distract Milo too much. Of course he noticed, his eyes flew open. A small smile formed on his face, glad that she couldn't stop herself from torturing herself as well. She swiped her thumb over the tip of his dick and he bucked up against her hand, breathing hard.

As he could feel her speed up his hands found their way to her hips, stroking up and down her soft skin – glad when she didn't stop him. The moment she felt the slightest twitch in her stomach Andy sat still, not wanting to get there already, but she immediately missed the sensation. Milo's hands grabbed her hips more tightly, moving her back and forth as he moved his leg up a bit closer to her center. She stared down at him, her eyes dark and clearly focused. She pushed her thighs together, wanting to stop it as she was starting to sweat.

Her fingers squeezed the tip of his dick slightly before returning to the stroking, making sure to swipe her hand over his tip with every stroke. He was starting to breathe more heavily again and their eyes locked. He wanted to flip them over, push her down onto her back and fuck her hard until they came together but he restrained himself. He almost wished she had tied him up or used the handcuffs he had packed so he wouldn't have to use his already foggy brain to hold himself back.

He was panting heavily, his hips both trying to move away from her torturous ministrations as well as get closer in the hope that this would be soon over. ''I'm-'' his hips jerked, ''oh god,'' his gaze landed on his dick, the purple head swollen, ''Andy,'' his hips jerked against her hand. His fingers dug into her hips, surely leaving bruises. He could feel his entire body tense up before he finally fell over the edge, Andy continuing without hesitation.

There was nothing left to come out, his dick twitching in her hand. She gingerly stroked it up and down as it grew soft in her hand.

Milo was watching Andy slack-jawed as she laid down next to him, running her nails over his nipples, softly scratching his head as he was slowly coming down from his orgasm. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, kissing her. ''Now let's focus on you.''

* * *

''How was school today?'' Lu asked Lizzy as they both sat down in the cafeteria, their dinner trays in front of them. She had arranged for Lizzy to be dropped up at the clinic after school so she could be watched there until Lu went home with her to Andy's house. It had been a bit of an adjustment and it reminded her of when she had Marc do the same years ago.

Lizzy shrugged before her eyes lit up, ''During lunch Suzie and Kim got into a fight and Suzie threw a can of strawberry milk at Kim and it exploded on impact and it got everywhere,'' she said, excited. The horrified look on Lu's face made her smile drop, ''Guess you had to be there.'' She gulped her coke down, her mom never let her drink soda with dinner — or much at all during the rest of the day — and she was glad Lu wasn't as strict.

It struck Lu how little Lizzy had changed over the five years she had known her. The nine-year-old she had taken with her on her first date with Mickey the night Andy kicked Les out of their house could have told the exact same story.

''Are you and mom getting back together?'' Lizzy asked suddenly, snapping Lu out of her thoughts. She could see she had caught Lu off guard, ''I think she misses you,'' she added. Andy had only given her vague answers about the current state of her relationship with Lu but it had been clear they were no longer together.

''Would that be okay with you, if we got back together?'' Lu asked. Andy had told her that Lizzy — and Jesse too for that matter — had warmed up to the idea of them as a couple but she didn't know if they still felt that way.

Lizzy gave a slight shrug, ''Sure.''

Lu hesitated, ''How would you feel about me moving in? We were discussing that before we ended things and if we get back together…'' she figured that sounded better than just telling Lizzy that Andy had asked her to move in. ''I mean, you already have your mom, your stepfather, how would you feel about living with three adults?'' She wasn't really trying to talk Lizzy out of the idea but needed her honest thoughts on it.

Lizzy considered this for a second, ''Would you let me drink soda with dinner?''

Lu looked at Lizzy's nearly empty cup, she hadn't thought about Andy's possible rules surrounding that. ''I think that's for your mom to decide.''

''And when she isn't around?''

The seriousness on Lizzy's face made Lu laugh, ''then sure, I guess.''

''Would you let me have boys over?''

''Absolutely not.''

Lizzy sighed, ''Okay.''

* * *

Andy hadn't let him 'focus on her' that Saturday or any other day. They had had sex multiple times each day and she seemed to be enjoying herself but Milo was getting frustrated with her keeping herself from coming – he had come every time but it wasn't satisfying when she wasn't right there with him. Milo knew that she was still mad at herself for what she had done and assumed that was why she kept pushing him away but he was growing tired of it. He knew there was only one way to move past it.

He was sat on the bed when she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and heading for the dresser so she could get dressed for a late night dinner. ''Come here,'' Milo said, holding out his hand to her. He could see a moment of hesitation in her eyes – clearly wondering what he was up to – before she took his hand and allowed him to pull her closer.

She leaned down, kissing him as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. There was confusion when he tried to pull her down onto the bed with him. ''I really should be getting ready,'' she said, taking a step back though his hands weren't letting her go far away from him at all.

''I think I have a better idea for how we can spend our time,'' Milo said. He grabbed the bottom of the towel and let it fall to the floor, his other hand clasped around her wrist.

Andy was sure she knew what he wanted, but wasn't sure she wanted to. It would be a different story if Lu had forgiven her, or even Milo – though he was acting like he had he had never actually verbalized it – with how much damage she had done to both relationships she felt like she needed to do something to make up for it. Yes, her punishment had been fitting considering how dominant Milo and Lu both liked to be, but it wasn't enough. Not to her.

Milo leaned back on his hands, his legs crossed. Andy was stood in front of him, naked, only a few water droplets remaining on her skin. ''Get on the bed.'' He urged.

''I really don't think I should.''

''Get on the bed.''

There was a slight temptation to safe-word out of this situation but Andy wasn't sure that this wasn't exactly what she needed. She considered asking him to talk about it first but they had talked lots and had seemed to be running around in circles, and it had only gotten her here. More talking wasn't going to change anything. She knew logically that he was never going to hurt her, that if she truly didn't want to do this he wouldn't make her, but the look on his face was serious and she knew he wouldn't let her talk him out of this.

He could see that she was starting to over think this. ''Stop thinking,'' he told her, ''And do as I say.'' He stood up from the bed, giving her a slight push towards the bed and making her bend over the side of it. That was exactly how she stayed as he picked up his pants from the chair in the corner of the room where he had discarded them earlier, taking his belt off of it. ''You know why I have to do this, don't you?''

It had been too long since he had last done this and she had missed it. The anticipation of pain made her nervous but she knew it was nothing she couldn't handle. She nodded as she gripped the sheets.

''Give me a number.'' Milo said, running his hand down her spine before letting it rest on her lower back.

No number would ever be high enough but she knew Milo wouldn't accept that answer. ''Ten,'' she answered. It was a start, though she doubted it would do much to relieve her of her guilt.

''Ten it is,'' Milo said. He would've been fine with any number, whatever she needed.

She could feel the first blow land and squeezed her eyes shut. It wasn't as bad as she had remembered – a slight sting but not too bad, she knew it would only get worse as he continued though. ''One,'' she said quietly, just loud enough for Milo to hear.

She braced herself for every single one as he continued, alternating cheeks with every blow. Her arms and legs were tensing up and she was worried her knees would buckle beneath her. She could take this punishment. She deserved this punishment. She wasn't going to let a little pain pussy her out of this. She hissed when the first truly painful one landed and could feel Milo rubbing her cheek to alleviate the pain somewhat.

''Are you okay?''

She nodded. ''Seven.'' The deep breath she had drawn didn't do much to help with the pain as the next couple of blows landed, the stinging took her breath away, the pain reverberating through her body. But it was soon over. Tears were in her eyes. Her chest felt tight as she kept herself from full on sobbing. She knew it wasn't because of the physical pain as she had experienced much worse during her years in the army, and she didn't bother to keep them from falling.

It had helped somewhat, she had to admit that, but she knew that she wouldn't truly feel any better until she had worked things out with Lu – she had been hurt most by all of this. Having Lu break up with her, date someone else, made her jump to hoops to only slightly get accepted into her life again – yes, it had hurt, but it hadn't done anything to alleviate her guilt. She needed Lu to punish her in her own way and even though she knew it would physically hurt a lot less, it would be a lot worse than what Milo had just done for her.

Milo gathered her into his arms, rocking them back and forth. There was the occasional silent sob and he could feel his shirt getting wet. Neither of them knew how long they sat there until Andy pulled away. He held her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs before kissing her softly.

She looked away, knowing that if she looked at him for too long only more tears would start falling. ''Thank you,'' she whispered. She kissed him, crawling into his lap, burying her face into his chest and breathing in his scent, it immediately calmed her down.

He flipped them over, pulling her under him. His gaze remained focused on her face, needing confirmation that she was okay with this, as he ran his hand down her body, cupping her sex. When he could see nothing on Andy's face to discourage him from moving forward he slipped his fingers between the folds, not surprised to find that she was already wet.

She swallowed hard and could feel him slip a finger inside. He slid down onto the bed next to her, lying close but no longer on top of her. His hand was stroking her hair as he looked down at her face, planting some soft kisses on her lips. When he added a second finger he could feel her muscles contract around them.

One of her hands was resting on his cheek and she looked into his beautiful brown eyes, feeling like she could get lost in them forever. His breath against her face tickled a bit and she smiled. She felt his thumb against her folds, looking to find its way to her clit and sending shockwaves through her system when it finally did.

Milo could feel her body tense and moved slower, ''Nice and slow, right?'' He smiled at her. She nodded. A soft moan escaped when he kissed her more deeply.

This wasn't how he had expected this to go, her first orgasm after her punishment had been lifted. He had expected there to be frenzied lovemaking, for her to push him down and ride him until she came screaming. That's how he had pictured it, that's the image he had jerked off to when she was away. And while he certainly enjoyed it when they were like that he much preferred this for the moment; it was what she needed and he would do right by her. He would let her take control and be the submissive one if she wanted him to, he would do just about anything for her in the bedroom and outside, but he would be lying if he said he didn't want to pound her until she forgot even her own name.

He hooked his fingers inside her when he found her g-spot and he could feel her arch up against him. His thumb lightly grazed her clit a couple of times before rubbing circles around it. He kissed her, sucking on her bottom lip before pulling away. ''How's that? Good?'' He asked, looking down at his hand which was growing slicker with her juices by the second.

Andy moaned. ''Little lower,'' she whispered, taking a sharp breath when he found the perfect spot. Her hips bucked away from her hands and he chuckled at her before he started kissing her neck. She was staring up at the ceiling, trying to suppress her moaning somewhat though she knew Milo didn't mind them at all. That delicious feeling in her belly returned and she closed her eyes, not wanting anything to distract her.

Milo could feel her start to squirm a little and smiled. Her soft moans that were growing louder by the minute were starting to get him hard and he hoped she didn't notice – he wanted it to be all about her, to have her be putty in his hands, to have her come with his name on her lips.

The moment the little fire inside her had been ignited it started spreading through her whole body – her toes were curling, her fingers gripping the sheet, sweat running down her back, her head leaned back as Milo was sucking on her neck before moving down and sucking a nipple into his mouth, scarping his teeth against it hoping that it hadn't become too sensitive for that.

It was a lethal combination. She pushed her thighs together as Milo added a third finger inside her, the pressure against her g-spot making her lightheaded as his thumb against her clit was sending pleasure waves through her whole body. She could feel her belly tightening, her brain short-circuiting, the only thing she managed was to utter Milo's name between the moans falling from her lips. Her hips rolled against Milo's hand which never stopped moving, keeping her from regaining her faculties. The fluids kept gushing from her as her back arched almost painfully. Her hands tried to search their way to Milo's hand, attempting to push him away but Milo wouldn't be deterred that easily.

''Milo…'' her whole body twitched and jerked. It was impossible to take a full breath even as the aftershocks ran through her body, a shiver going down her spine.

A laugh escaped her lips. Milo kissed his way up Andy's chest and throat before arriving at her lips, taking her open mouth as an invitation. She could feel his tongue in her mouth and she grabbed his face, not wanting him to stop. His hand had slowed down a bit but was still going. Her legs took a while to stop shaking, she finally let go of Milo when they did.

She lied down flat on the bed, trying to catch her breath.

''So what now? Dinner?'' Milo asked as he got up off the bed.

''I'm not that hungry.'' Andy said, smiling wide. She followed him with her eyes as he walked across the room upon those words, watching him open his suitcase and fish for something inside it.

He didn't need to be told twice. He walked back to her, showing her the handcuffs dangling from his fingers. Milo didn't have to say a single word, she sat up, putting her hands behind her back. After the click from the handcuffs closing he pushed her down onto her back, grabbing his dick with his hand and rubbing it against her slit, letting it grow rock hard and get slick with her juices. ''Ready?'' He asked, pushing inside the second she nodded.

* * *

''Lu!'' Nick did a slight walk-run to catch up to her as she had sped off before he had even been able to call time of death on the hit-and-run they had worked on for almost an hour.

It took Lu a few seconds to decide to actually not run from him for once as she had been doing that for weeks now, she hadn't been able to face him since… she pushed the thought from her mind. She was so close to getting back together with Andy that the last thing she wanted was to rehash that night – she had made the decision to move on and after her talk with Lizzy had made preparations for Andy and Milo's return. She turned to face Nick, ''I've got a really busy night.'' She said, immediately turning on her heel and continuing her journey. She didn't actually know but when wasn't Wednesday night clinic busy?

''That's okay,'' he said, walking alongside her back to the clinic. ''I just wanted to say sorry in case I made you uncomfortable at the wedding, you didn't seem too happy to see me there.''

''I didn't expect you to be there,'' she said. It had caught her off guard when he had approached her at the wedding, apologizing for what had happened. ''And I had a lot on my mind and-'' she cut herself off, not wanting to make excuses for how she had reacted to him.

''It's okay, I understand,'' Nick said, following her into her office.

''Do you?!'' She turned to him, mad that he was bringing this up when she was supposed to be focusing on her patients, mad that he didn't seem to get the message that she wanted him to leave her alone, mad that Andy had wanted to do _that_ with _him_. Mad that no matter how many times Andy told her she loved her she had to share her with Milo and afraid that she would possibly have to share her with Nick too. ''Do you understand what it's like to have your girlfriend go down on someone else right in front of you, to have him come on your body, to-'' she bit her lip, feeling the tears well up, '' _You_ understand what _that_ is like?'' Her voice was quieter now, not wanting to air her dirty laundry in earshot of her patients.

Nick looked away, ''I didn't know that you guys hadn't discussed that beforehand, for all I knew you were all for it,'' he said. He didn't want to do anything to sour Lu and Andy's relationship, but since he imagined they would be working together for years to come he needed Lu to not hate him.

Lu hadn't thought about that but didn't have the energy to listen to it, ''I'm very busy.'' She repeated, almost a whisper. She pushed her office door open, walking out and making her way over to Lana's desk, expecting the pile of charts to be stacked up high at this time of the night. There were none. Her eyes landed on the waiting room, empty. She could see Nick had followed her out of her office and she wanted to run from him but she had nowhere to go.

''Lu, you know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you,'' he said. They had known each other for coming up on seven years and though they had never been close he had always viewed her as a friend. ''And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt your relationship with Andy, I think you two are great together, you know that.''

Lu stared at him. She didn't know that. She knew her anger at him had been misdirected, Andy had even told her so; but she needed someone to be angry with and couldn't stand the thought of losing Andy no matter how much she had hurt her.

* * *

Andy could hear the front door fall shut behind her. She took a second to take in her surroundings; it felt like it had been a lot longer than the mere two weeks it had been since she had been home. There was complete silence and she frowned, she had hoped that Lu and Lizzy would be there when they got home – Milo got paged while they were on their way home.

''Anyone home?'' She asked loudly as she took off her coat, hanging it on the coat rack.

''Upstairs.''

Lu's answer almost surprised Andy, she hadn't expected to get any answer at all. Her hand slid on the banister as she walked up the stairs, she wasn't sure why she still felt nervous to face Lu and she could feel the tension inside growing as she made her way to the guestroom.

They would be alone. There was no wedding to talk about anymore, no Isabel there to distract them. For the first time in a long time it would be just the two of them without anything to keep them from talking about their relationship, and even though Lu had been very kind in looking after Lizzy for the week, Andy was still afraid of what she would say now.

Andy's jaw dropped a little before she frowned as she stood in the doorway. Lu stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she turned to face Andy. The walls which just a few months ago had been painted a light blue were now painted a deep burgundy color. A small smile graced Lu's face but it seemed to fall the longer she and Andy looked at each other. Andy took a step towards her, ''What's going on in here?''

''This is more my kind of color.''


End file.
